You have at least one secret name. Me too. Here's the story of my secret name. What's your story ?

Wrong! I do so think about some things besides sex. Here are some examples from this week.

Carly Simon was singing "These are the good old days" on my car's cd player, when I hit a speed bump. Check the headlines. "These are the good old days ?" Flash back to 1972 when the song was a hit. Watergate, Vietnam, The Munich Olympics. Some "good old days." But maybe she was right then...and now...if we pay attention to the Speed Bumps.

I've got my Indiana Jones fedora, my bathrobe with "The Wiz" embroidered on it...and I know how to say "SHAZAM!" But that's not what kicked my butt into (Pseudo) Super Hero orbit the other night. This is the story of what did it.

There's a New Year's Surprise this time. A big one. Because what we have here is another new year. Another new beginning. I like new beginnings. Especially the small ones...the ones only you and maybe a very few other people share. If you're not careful, they can get drowned out in the every day noise of your life. One of the nice things about the night is that there's some quiet...a little room...a safe place to remember some of those small new beginnings again.

This is about Christmas past with my family, and Christmas present with my Lady Wonder Wench. Life is good. It is very, very good. Merry Christmas.

The one word answer to the question on every guy's lips (both upper and lower) right now is, "Why do the Herald Angels get all the attention, and we don't get any?" It's that one word..."Hark!" Here's how we can work that word into our every day conversations so we can get some attention too.

Gene Chandler, The Singing Nun, and Frank Key all had one big hit. But the biggest One Hit Wonders were Joe Mohr and Franz Gruber. And I'll bet you know their song by heart. You'll also hear my favorite trumpet player this time, with one of the songs of the season. And we'll tell you how to avoid Growing Up.

A man's brain swims in a sea of testosterone, which absorbs some of the shock of getting hit in the head by baseballs, Yanni's music, and excessively high levels of verbal communication. Preservatives stop germs and fungus from maturing. Therefore testosterone is an anti-maturing chemical. That's the only real explanation for the Men are Saints Campaign. Happy Thanksgiving Recovery.

Here's the difference: Nighttime is the playpen of earthly delights...it's full of the sound of delicately perfumed black lace hitting the floor...strange soft noises in the attic...and unlimited access to ALL the Oreos in the box. As far as I'm concerned, it's appropriate that the meaning of the other word that sounds like morning is what you do at a funeral.