Good Night

I think as far as women are concerned, guys are mostly like big dogs who can talk. They have a point. We like to curl up in bed with them, we like to lick them, and we tend to be very messy. But I think that deep down, women have a hunch they could get along quite nicely without us. Somebody once said, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Well... maybe so. But on the other hand... what would women do without us when a big ugly bug lands on your kitchen table ? Huh ?

It is easy to become an expert at resting. However, that does not do wonders for certain physical attributes... especially your buns. And women are big believers in beautiful buns. This is the stirring story of how one Louie-Louie Generation Guy came to grips... so to speak... with his decreasing impact on beautiful women due to his decaying buns. If this has not yet happened to you... it will.

I love you are only three words that get more attention than Once Upon A Time. Those three words make you want to curl up in front of a fireplace, light a few candles, put on some nice music...maybe a little wine...and close your eyes so you can enjoy what comes next. We have three stories for you this time. A story about a love that's dying...another about an old, hot, Louie-Louie Generation love... and a story that ties them together.

The calendar says Spring is coming. But Spring doesn't depend on a calendar. Spring comes when you take the chance on letting yourself feel like spring. There's good stuff and bad stuff about Spring. Especially about this Spring. We know...maybe way too much about the bad stuff. So let's take a look at some of the good stuff.

Auto Cannibalism is a condition that happens mostly to Louie-Louie Generation guys. Auto Cannibalism is when you bite your own tongue. When Auto Cannibalism strikes, your fingers get stiff, and then spasm back till they hit your knuckles.. you grind very naughty words out between your clenched teeth, and your eyes bulge out like they did when you realized you left your wallet with your credit cards, your pay check, and all your Ids back at the supermarket counter. My Lady Wonder Wench has an explanation for why we do it. I'll buy her explanation if you'll buy mine.

He was seen kissing my Lady Wonder Wench. She didn't resist when he unbuttoned her blouse. So why did I invite him to dinner at an expensive restaurant?

Once upon a time, there was a Pre-Louie-Louie Generation guy who was injured in a fight in the Navy. Maybe some guy took a swing at him because he had a funny name. The injury left him with a slight lisp. He had big ears too...and a big heart. Not exactly the makings of a career as a movie star. But that's what he was. The biggest...for a long time. He played tough guys with big ears...and big hearts. In other words, he played himself. His name was Humphrey Bogart. Some younger Louie-Louie Generation folks may not remember him. The rest of us will never forget him. Especially on Valentine's Day. Especially for the role he played in an old black and white film called, "Casablanca." He got it right in "Casablanca." He looked at Ingrid Bergman, who was possibly the most beautiful woman in the world at the time...and he said, "Here's looking at YOU kid." Bergman could fill the screen with just her eyes. And when he said that...she did. This is the story of a Valentine's Day dinner with my Lady Wonder Wench that I think Bogie and Bergman would have understood. Maybe you will too.

You have at least one secret name. Me too. Here's the story of my secret name. What's your story ?

Wrong! I do so think about some things besides sex. Here are some examples from this week.

Carly Simon was singing "These are the good old days" on my car's cd player, when I hit a speed bump. Check the headlines. "These are the good old days ?" Flash back to 1972 when the song was a hit. Watergate, Vietnam, The Munich Olympics. Some "good old days." But maybe she was right then...and now...if we pay attention to the Speed Bumps.