Goodlad Unscripted

Ana was born and raised in Brazil and I come from the prairie province of Saskatchewan in Canada.  She is a fascinating woman and she puts all the color and excitement in my work-until-you-drop life and I bring things to her world that she appreciates.  But when the stress levels go up as they tend to do in every marriage, some of those differences become flash points for conflict.  

We realized that no matter where you are from there will be cultural differences simply because married couples are raised in different families and each family has it's own culture.  Rather than be frustrated, we work to understand each other and our cultures then create our own family culture based on what we need.  In this episode Ana and I get into it, she drank a lot of coffee this morning, and we work through the examples and the issues and talk about what works.  

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Episode 51

Ana and I are overwhelmed most day, every day actually, with three toddlers in the foster system, two dogs, two businesses, and a marriage.  The brochure said there would be balance, the brochure lied.  So here we are in way over our heads and wondering how the heck we got here, but more so, how the heck are we going to dig our way out.

We planned a business/family trip to Los Angeles and San Diego two weeks ago and we were blessed with less business to do than we thought at first.  In the end we had 4 days of family time, very little else, and we were able to deconstruct our lives and find some solutions to our dilemma.

Ana and I sit down to share our experience and how it affected our marriage, business and family and the solutions we found that have made a monstrous positive difference.  We hope it helps someone else out there because we know we aren't the only ones.  

 

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Elaine Goodlad and I brought our 20 year marriage to an end many years ago but we did it in a strange way.  We didn't fight over anything, we didn't hate each other, and we didn't pay any lawyers even a single red penny.  We were friends when we first met over 30 years ago and we are much closer friends now.  I am re-married and she is living with the love of her life in Florida but we consider each other family.  She spends part of the year on the west coast and when she does she stays with us.  Our kids call her Auntie and recently we decided we would just tell people we were brother and sister because most people can't wrap their minds around the fact that we don't hate each other.  She and my wife are best friends and I have known her man long before she ever met him and I have nothing but the deepest respect for him and consider him a friend.

We sat down to talk about the old days and we did plenty of laughing.  If there is a moral to this story it would be that things don't usually just happen to us, we play a role in most of our circumstances.  How we choose to deal with those circumstances determines the effect they have on our lives more than anything else.  

 

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Episode 49

Difficult times can either break you or make you stronger but it's how you react to the circumstances and not the circumstances themselves that determine your happiness, success and peace.  Mike Tyson once said that every fighter has a plan until he gets punched in the face.  I find that philosophical advice can make tremendous sense until the crap hits the fan then the advice itself does little to pull us out of the mud storm.  

Ana and I have been in a mud storm for a couple years now to be honest, and all the helpful quotes and wisdom hasn't helped much to be honest.  Last Saturday I was laying in bed and sick with a very high fever.  I spent 48 hours just thinking and at the end of it all, I made some decisions.  I needed more than a quote, I needed some tools, some new habits that would help me see and deal with my circumstances differently.

We sat down to share that with you.  I hope it helps.

 

This podcast is brought to you by BlessedBodywear.com

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Episode 48:

You can read this related article about the girls coming home.

Last October the two little girls that we took in as foster kids moved to live with a former foster family that wanted to adopt them.  We did all we could to help make that happen in a timely fashion but the girls were with us for seven months.  It was very hard to see them go but we found peace in believing we had done the right thing.  We never expected to see them again.

But God had a different plan.

A short time ago we got a call from the Department of Family Services and we were told that things didn't work out and the girls were coming back to Las Vegas.  They wanted to know if we were interested in taking them.  Without hesitation we said yes.

Being a foster parent can be very challenging.  Every child that comes into care has been traumatized in some way at some level so you have to be prepared to deal with the usual stuff that pops up when you raise children as well as the other stuff these poor little souls have been through.

While our girls have been through a lot, we are prepared and more than willing to give them a life they will love and flourish in.

The icing on the cake is that these girls are adoptable so after the mandatory waiting period, we will begin proceedings to give them the forever family they so badly want and need.

This podcast is brought to you by BlessedBodywear.com

You can subscribe to the Goodlad Unscripted Podcast on iTunes or Spotify or Google Play

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One of the biggest problems couples have is putting up with the differences in personality and habits.  It's been a flash point for us, like most people, but the sermon in church yesterday opened my eyes to a better way of dealing with it than the way I have been doing it.

My wife Ana is less rigid, more spontaneous, and takes things as they come. She is always smiling, happy and never in a rush to get anything done.  She would rather sit with me and snuggle if she thinks I need it than go get groceries for instance.  

I like to be organized, efficient, and to have a tight plan, with contingencies, so everything runs smoothly and efficiently so the work gets done and we can enjoy snuggle time without the stress of things left undone.  

I love the way she is and don't want to change one single thing about her. But she drives me crazy sometimes and I get very frustrated by things left undone or not done to my standard.  Those personality traits and habits that put all the fun and color into our relationship and that I absolutely love about her, make running an efficient and successful business and household very challenging.

My color between the lines thinking is very helpful when managing a business and a household but it's Ana that talks me down out of the tree and brings out the fun and playful side of me.  She puts all the life and love in our home.  

Like I said, I don't want her to change but I do want things to change.  I just realized after a sermon in Church on Sunday that we will reach a much better place faster if I stop trying to change her ways and just step up and do the things for our family that I do well and let her do the things she does best.  I need to spend my time appreciating her and building her up.  If she does the same for me then we end up much happier and each of us will be more motivated to learn new things and get better at areas of our life that need growth. 

This is a "spirited" conversation between Ana and I but as you all will agree at the end of the show, I am right.

Except when I am horribly wrong.

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Control.  We feel helpless, frustrated, angry, and stressed when we have none, yet if you are like me, letting go of control is often the solution to being stressed-out and unhappy. After a challenging two years of rapid growth, which translates into a lot of challenges and falling on my face more times than I can count; Ana and I are coming out the other side. We have picked up a lot of wisdom, but most of all we have learned to tell the difference between the things we can control and the things we cannot, and doing the things we can control to the best of our ability, and letting go of the rest.

I hope this helps somebody.

This podcast is brought to you by BlessedBodywear.com

You can subscribe to the Goodlad Unscripted Podcast on iTunes or Spotify or Google Play

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I didn't realize how much my environment impacted my life, every aspect of my life, until I committed to creating an environment that was completely positive and focussed on being my best and reaching goals.  I realized how even the seemingly most minor things can have a big impact on everything we see, do and think and ultimately what we become in life.  Ana and I sit down to hash this one out and hopefully you will find it helpful in your own life.

This podcast is brought to you by BlessedBodywear.com

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After talking to a young couple that have chosen to break away from the conventional path they were on to chase their dreams, we were reminded of the troubles one faces in doing that.  Oddly, the biggest challenge is not necessarily making the change, it's losing the support of loved ones and friends that can't see or don't believe in your vision.  Ana and I have both been there and despite what others said, we pushed forward and have no regrets for doing so.  We hope this podcast helps someone else that wants to follow their dreams.

This podcast is brought to you by BlessedBodywear.com

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Ana Tigre and I sat down in the studio to record a podcast about a specific topic but the back and forth banter turned into 33 minutes worth and we never did get to our planned topic.  We did talk about our genetic backgrounds, prejudice, and how the world is changing and those silly forms that ask you to choose an ethnic background just don't make sense anymore.  We laughed a lot and we hope that you do too.

This podcast is brought to you by BlessedBodywear.com

You can subscribe to the Goodlad Unscripted Podcast on iTunes or Spotify or Google Play

My Website - Facebook - Instagram - Twitter - YouTube and thank you for Subscribing to my channel