In the grace of God, the road to nowhere may yet turn out to be the first leg of the long journey home.

Series Intro and Overview

Sex is misunderstood, misused, and frankly missing in many Christian marriages today. Rather than offer 5 tips to a better sex life, we need a redeemed understanding of the purpose of sex, a refocused commitment to the gift of sex, and deep gospel healing for the wounds caused by the misuse of sex in our world today.

Christianity is quite noteworthy, even unique, in lifting up singleness as a commendable way of life. Jesus and Paul embody a life lived in God's service as single adults. Single widows were paradigms of service and caregiving in the early church. Godly singleness, the so-called gift of singleness, was seen as a sign that our future is guaranteed by God, not by our family.

Men and women are image bearers, equal in dignity, value, and worth. God sovereignly gives unique and distinct roles to men and women within marriage, the family, and the church. Unfortunately, all of this has been corrupted by men and women. Fortunately, by God's amazing grace, the broken views and roles have been redeemed in and through the person and work of Christ. Only by understanding where we come from can we wrap our heads around the the beauty and distinctiveness of our God-given roles in Christ Jesus.

Carrying the power of truth in confrontations with your spouse must always be covered in love and accompanied with grace, which always has its focus on redemption. Using powerful words to the appropriate end is crucial. Spouses are to help each other grow into something more profoundly beautiful than anything they could create on their own. This is the way to use the pattern of God's loving redemption to affect change in marriage.

Friendship is at the heart of the purpose of marriage. When friendship is cultivated, it is a tremendous gifts to be enjoyed. Far from the inconsistent and self-centered type of friendship, marriage is meant to seal two friends in consistency, transparency, and sympathy. They are committed, open, and want to share each other's interests and heart-felt longings. The key here is that friendship cannot be focused on itself; it must be about something else, something that both friends are passionate about.

Love is a deep longing for the Object of love, Jesus Himself. When the Bible speaks of love, it measures it primarily not by how much you want to receive but by how much you are willing to give of yourself for the sake of another. To say that marriage is unrelated to service and self-sacrifice is an indicator that one does not fully understand or more likely has not experienced love Himself: Jesus. Far from the world's sentimental mirage of love, true love ignites, then stays committed to a future-facing, self-sacrificing love. This is the kind of love that actually kindles the passions of romance because romantic love is fueled by God, is sustained and is empowered by the Holy Spirit, who propels us to self-sacrifice and service.

What's worse than the prevailing impulse we all have to first serve and please ourselves is the fact that most of us are convinced that this impulse is ok. To top it off, many are deceived into thinking that not only is selfishness normal, but even necessary because everyone around us is looking to take from us. But Paul announces that Jesus' way of divine wisdom is death to that very impulse. We find true life, joy and refreshment in life and marriage when we act counter-intuitively and, through the power of the Holy Spirit, pour ourselves out for the good of others.

Marriage is a profound mystery and if this precious relationship is going to flourish, it involves both the husband and wife dying to themselves out of sacrificial love for one another. By God's grace, continual sacrifice will not only unveil the beauty of the gospel for all to witness, it will also lead each partner into a deeper union with their spouse.