We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.

Podcast Episode 16.  The Drama Triangle

OOOOOOOOooooooo.  Who loves a bit of drama???

Not me!

Especially not in my house!!!

But of course that is where I most often notice the drama triangle playing out.

The most awesome thing about the drama triangle is once you understand the roles, it's so much easier to be aware of how they all play out to create drama in your home and friendships.   From here you can learn how to step out of it and into a role that will better support the communication and connection within your relationships.

Which then leads to you creating a smoother path to Grabbing Your Keys and Going out to the things you love!

In my mothering space one of the roles I found myself in often in the drama triangle was victim.

I felt like there was just no way of creating possibilities for myself when it came to doing what I love. (and that's coming from a possibility person)

I sat in the guilt that I created, of things I believed about being a stay at home mum, and not earning my own money, like how can afford to do my own thing, when I don't make any money or I have all this time at home, why can't I just be happy with that.   The best one, can't I just play at the same time the kids play! (and all of societies bullshit around being a mum, but we will leave that for another time!)

Maybe even underneath that, I was sitting in some self worth stuff.  With the stories I was telling myself piling on top of me, how could I get to a space where I felt worthy enough to say yes to me.

It's funny when you get that first glimpse of stepping into Creator.

When you step out of the drama triangle and out of being the victim and into taking self responsibility for your life.

Wow how things change.

I started to realise that actually I have control of my circumstances.  And if I want things to happen, I get to be the one to step up.

It might be using my voice, it might be making decisions that work for me, it might be learning more about how I operate and what things are important to me, and trusting myself, and putting in boundaries.

Yep as all growth spaces are, it can get a bit messy.

But stick with it. 

Check out the Drama Triangle and what you can step into here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_XSeUYa0-8

See what roles you are choosing to play.  I've definitely been in all three at different times.

And get curious about how you can identify the roles you currently play in the drama triangle and where you might like to step out and into a role where you can feel more empowered to get things happening for yourself.

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

Retreat website
https://www.soulpresenceretreats.com.au

Episode 15.  The Art of a Curious Mind

Mel is off on a big adventure and before she goes I try to sneak into her suitcase with no success whatsoever!

One of our favourite topics to chat about is Curiosity!

It was the first topic we explored in our Soul Presence Membership because we know how much of an impact getting curious can have on your daily life.

Curiosity is the precursor to Possibility, and we all know how handy possibility thinking is when it comes to Grabbing your Keys and GOING!

Life is always going to be full as I explain in my Grab Your Keys and GO moment this week.  With a teenager and a tween, plus an active Mum and Dad, our week is full to the brim of good stuff!!

However, it's easy to get caught up in the, 'I can't do that because we have this, this and this on', or 'It's impossible for me to do anything in my week with two active kids'!

In my life, my best motto has been 'There is always a way'.  And really it just requires some conversation, a dash of curiosity and a bit of solution seeking to make things work, if that event or activity is truly important to you.

A great example is this weekend in our family.  We have a crazy amount of things on!
The school fair, a Basketball tournament, Basketball training and Cricket for the males in our household and a wedding of a great family friend, which is over 4 hours away.

How did we make it work?

With the above.  We got curious and asked some helpful questions about what needs to be done, what gets to be discarded, how best to support Hubby because he has been left with all the running around for the weekend with two kids, while I head off to the wedding.

It's not always ideal, but it all works out over time as we navigate our families needs.

Curiosity feels expansive.  So if you are doing it right, it's non judgemental, it feels opening and brings in that beautiful feeling of possibility.

The quality of questions you ask, creates the quality of your life.

So here are a few questions we would like to share with you today to help you get curious in your week and make those magical things happen in your life right now.

What would I do if I wasn't afraid?

What else could this mean?

What do I get to let go of?

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

Retreat website
https://www.soulpresenceretreats.com.au

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.

Episode 14.  Creating Safety within ourselves when we embark on new experiences.

So we are starting to nail the art of Grabbing our Keys and getting ourselves to more of what we love.....

That hurdle is done.

Because we are so focused on getting ourselves to these wonderful experiences we forget to prepare ourselves for the actual experience!

And of course we arrive....... we look around and usually the first thing we want to do is run straight back out!

Saying 'hang on, I'm not sure if this is what I signed up for..',   ' I'm not ready for this!'

This podcast dives into ways that we can prepare ourselves for the outside world again and ways to help ourselves feel safe in new situations.

I've been here so many times.   I am a 'YES' person and figure it out later for most things.

However 'doing anxiety' was my thing back then and when I didn't have any support systems in place it created some curly and uncomfortable situations, creating more fear and anxiety!

I really didn't want the anxiety in my life to hold me back so I had to start discovering more of what was going to keep me feeling safe.

I share more about this story in the podcast.

I took matters into my own hands around the age of 23.  I found my first psychologist and started to learn about what was happening in my body as the anxiety arrived. 

This was so helpful and supported an understanding that maybe I could be a bit more in control of this process, now that I knew how anxiety worked in the body.

Across the years, I have done visualisation, hypnotherapy, kinesiology and breathwork to explore further the undercurrent of the anxiety and every step has supported me to learn and be more of myself.

Along the way I have learnt so many awesome ways to feel more safe within my body and therefore more safe within new environments.

Mel and I share a couple of ideas in here around how to support yourself too.

I just want to let you know to never give up on yourself in this journey, keep learning, keep showing up for yourself, you will find a way through.

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.
MESS to YES

SPECIAL EDITION - Grab Your Keys and Go WEEKEND

Hear from 5 incredible women as they speak about their journey to making a weekend away happen for them and the learning that unfolded during their stay.

Oh WOW.

What an epic weekend of friendship and fun!

I love watching how life delivers you exactly what you need, when you need it, even if you don't know at the time you need it!

This is my favourite part of life.  The serendipitous surprises.

Which often take a great deal of trust from myself.  I'm just so lucky that Mel has the same take on life as I do, that it is here to be lived and when one door closes, there are a number of possibilities still awaiting you.

The opportunity that has arisen from this weekend is truly a gift and Mel and I can't wait to share more of these weekends with you in 2024.

Our deep dive Soul Presence Retreats are held in March each year (Places are now open) email us at [email protected]

We know the value of a community and a safe space where women can explore, share and connect in together.
We know the power of time away from the everyday to remember who you are and what you love, so you can recalibrate and prioritise what is important in your life.
We know the value of creating space for the journey to unfold, and how epic it is to take yourself through a number of different experiences to really listen into and understand where you are at.

These weekends fill our soul.

But we also know that it can feel like a big step if its been a while since you listened in to yourself.

Which brings me to our new offering, our Grab Your Keys and Go weekends.

These weekends are designed for the mum, the women who just needs to start building that trust with herself, so she can see that it is possible to want and to create something different in her life.

It's a practice run to saying a big YES to yourself, to getting out of the house, letting go of what's at home and to start to notice that awesome feeling of freedom in your body.

Yep that one.

Where the responsibility (well at least for a weekend) is no longer and you are the only person that you need to take care of.

You get to use that spaciousness to rediscover what lights you up.  It's a 'choose your own adventure' style, as you become the owner of your experience.

What activities might you do?  What food might you eat?
And you could even choose when you eat it... Imagine that!!

Mel and I will also curate some of the weekend experiences for you and Breakfast will be provided.

It sounds like exactly what you need right...

Expressions of interest are welcome.

We can't wait to see you all soon. xx

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

Retreat website
https://www.soulpresenceretreats.com.au

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.
MESS to YES

Episode 11. Schedule it in to RECLAIM your time.

Are you leaving your 'me time' to chance hoping that a space of time will just automatically appear and hello you have an hour of luxury in front of you.

If you are laughing at this statement because it's true, then we need to hook you up with this podcast sista!

We schedule in all kinds of things, the dentist, the kids afterschool activities, playdates, dog grooming, etc etc filling all of our gaps. 

But what if YOU scheduled something in?

Mel and I are very big on getting things into our diaries now.  Because we know that those times will fast disappear if we leave it to chance.

Mel has her singing group and sister circle during the week, and I have sister circle too, and monthly massages.  In the past I have scheduled in things like private singing lessons, Netball and weekends away with myself.

So what gets in the way??

We have already a few podcasts on some of the things that can often get in the way of you scheduling in some time for you.  Links below.

Self Sabotage
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2218063/episodes/13468342
 
Mum Guilt
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2218063/episodes/13269380

Receiving
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2218063/episodes/13342431

Maybe it's time to get curious and ask yourself some questions in a gentle compassionate way, so that you can start to RECLAIM back some of your time, so you can start spending it on the things that are important to you.

Mel has a great snowball story (yes it will make sense when you hear it), about collecting more goodness in your week. xx

And if you are keen to find the gaps in your life, take a listen in here:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2218063/episodes/13250098

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.
MESS to YES

Yep it's that time again, it comes around fast and of course there are parts of us that are excited and parts that feel a bit scared about the task ahead of entertaining the kids for 2 weeks!!

I looooove the flexibility that the holidays bring, but often there is a little bit of juggling that gets to be done with the kids and your work.

Communication is key here again.  A good meaty conversations get to be had before the holidays arrive with both the kids and the parent/s to decide what they are going to look like.

Who is working and when, is important to know before the chaos hits!

One of my fav activities is getting everyone in the family to write down what it is they want to do for their holidays.  In our house (I think it's the teacher in me) we either grab a piece of paper, or use the whiteboard to jot down all of our ideas.

That way we are clear on the expectations, but we can also manage the expectations, or play around with the options so everyone gets a chance to do something they really love. It also helps with the excitement of feeling into the freedom and flexibility of the school holidays.

On a Budget?

That's ok too.  When we have young families sometimes we find ourselves in tight situations and we want you to throw away the guilt here, while you are working on the money thing, so you can still have some fun with your family.

You know me, I loooove possibilities, and there are many when it comes to doing your holidays on a shoestring budget.

In fact Mel and I have a whole list of things in this podcast that you can do together that will create connection and bring the fun while keeping it simple.

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.

Energy Vampires and Energy Booster

In our podcasts you will often hear Mel and I chatting about the energy you get from doing the things you love.

In this episode we are getting curious about those activities that are energy suckers and those activities that are energy boosters.

Some of the energy sucking activities are things that might surprise you (but not really once you see them) they are things like Overthinking, Sitting for toooo long, Living in the past, or Living too much in the future and Dehydration.

I bet you were thinking it was the washing, doing the dishes, or sorting out kids arguments......

But in fact when we stop doing the energy sucking activities and start adding in the energy boosting activities, handling the day to day situations becomes a whole lot easier.

You have more patience, more compassion and can be more understanding.   I also find that I even enjoy the washing and the dishes because it leaves me with a clean and organised home.

Some of the fun energy boosting activities that we chat about are: Hanging out in the sunshine, Pausing and taking in some nice deep breaths from the belly, Getting in touhc with our creative side, Connecting in with people who nourish you and of course Getting good sleep.

What are your fun energy boosting activities, we would love to hear about them in the facebook group (link below).

So how can we start to get these energy boosters into our lives.......

1. Boundaries
Firstly setting up boundaries around your sacred activities.  Protecting your time is very important, and the more you let your household know how important these activities are to you, the more they will respect them too.

2. Self Responsibility
Taking your matters into your own hands is the best thing you can do for yourself.  Because it's you that gets to make the decision to bring in the things that feel good.  It's you that gets to find the time for these activities to happen and its you that gets to keep the boundary to protect this time, because you matter too.

3. Rest
We cannot take for granted how important it is to come into a space of still during your week.  It gives you the opportunity to review, reflect and revaluate what is happening in your life and what your next step might be.  The body needs some time to also just 'be' with no thinking at all to rejuvenate the body so it can have the energy to take the next step.

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.
MESS to YES

Episode 8.  Holidays with children are a lot like childbirth
(This show  is dedicated to Loretta Hart our mentor, who coined the term above)

Everyone loves a good road trip. 

We get to getaway from the everyday mundane life stuff and shift into this incredibly relaxing space, unwinding, not a care in the world, beautiful connection with our family...... amazing banter with our partner......um hang on......does this sound right?

If you are like me, you may also have these interesting, and perhaps quite exorbitant expectations of your time away.

It happens to me every time...

I get excited about the space, the time to read, the quite, the calm, the lack of routine and so on.

But when we arrive it feels a bit more like ground hog day with an extra good view!

I start to hear the kids getting shirty with each other, I'm still asking everyone to pick up after themselves (because we are living in an even smaller space in the van), and to have a shower!

I find myself still doing the dishes and cooking the meals!

AND all of a sudden I've lost all of my patience (which I came here to find again), and my usual tools of dealing with this stuff are nowhere to be found!

BUT...

We all know that we can't hide from the shit.   If we have that unresolved stuff it will follow us no matter where we go!

And so here is the Shit Show on the Road.

We've taken it with us.  Despite our best efforts not to.

Take a listen to the podcast to see how Mel and I deal with this and what you can do to support you through the show!

Until next time....

Nat and Mel

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.
MESS to YES

Episode 7.  Self Sabotage.

When the kids were little, and I felt that I finally had the chance to go and do something for myself  (and yes I chose the movies!)  I remember starting an argument with my hubby just before leaving and pretty much just cried all the way into town.

I don't remember starting the argument then, but I think in some way I knew that I was feeling uncomfortable, or that something was misaligning in my system and I just didn't have the words yet to articulate it.

I wonder if other mums, when they are in the thick of their parenting with young kids, have hidden beliefs that they just don't deserve to be happy?
That they are scared to want more for themselves because they just can't see how they can make it happen?

Is it connected to the unpaid work that seems to be done more by the mother in the house?

Sometimes it just feels safer to do what you've always done.

Maybe self sabotage sounds a bit like this to you...

I can't go out because I'm still cooking dinner.
I can't go out because I forgot to let my partner know and now I can't make it happen.
I can't ...........

Self Sabotage is about putting things in our own way (by us) that stop us from living the life that feels good, filled with the things that feel good!

It can be a little sneaky like 'Mother Guilt' in that it often happens between deciding to do something (which feels good at the time) and then the actual doing of the thing (which brings about some anxiety of how to do it), all the emotions arrive and suddenly we hear ourselves saying no.

Mel shares an epic story in here also about Self Sabotage.

So what can we do?

The first thing is noticing.
Bringing awareness to how things might play out for you when you decide to bring something that is good for you into your life.
Noticing that sneaky gap where it can so often arrive.

Take a breath
Bring in some compassion and kindness towards yourself.  It's ok, you did what you could with the resources you had at the time to look after yourself.

Perhaps we can use some kind words to speak to ourselves, to help us move through this space.

I have realistic expectations of myself.

I make space in my day for my own wants and desires.

I invest in activities that improve my energy and align with my values.

I show myself grace when I fall back into old patterns

I affirm empowering and kind messages to myself


Until next time.....

Nat and Mel


Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568

We invite you to JOIN THE WAITLIST for our  "Soul Presence membership space www.soulpresence.com.au Come Journey with us, as together we explore the possiblities that await us, and ride the wave of each other's momentum as we move towards a heart led life.

EXPECTATIONS

It's a little bit funny now, but it's taken a while for me to be able to really communicate clearly, the expectations I have of my family when I go out, and also if these expectations are really necessary.

Often I would arrive home after a fun evening out, and start to fix up the house.  I would go around the loungeroom and straighten cushions.  I would head into the kitchen and clean up plates, dishes, wipe benches and reset knowing that this would save me time the next day.

Sometimes I would be doing this at a ridiculous hour like 10.30, 11pm at night depending on when I arrived home.

Hubby got a bit done with the whole routine and I guess through my display of frustration and huffing and puffing, or maybe it was the the martyr in me, he decided to keep things as tidy as possible so I didn't have to go around doing that.

However, how easy would it have been for me to just have a conversation with him, instead of spending all of that extra energy making a point.

Who's problem was it??

Mel and I go through some interesting themes in this episode, looking at the natural roles in the household that seem to get automatically allocated to a couple. 

We chat about the fact that life doesn't just go on pause when we leave the house, so things will quite possibly get messy at home while we are away.  As Mel says, so beautifully, kids still eat and play while we are away.

And we take a look at the invisible jobs that mums often do, hence the reason that most of the time when we go out, these jobs go unnoticed, and most of the time that's why we are left with them at the end of the day.

We share some communication tips around expectations.  Yes, these conversations are sometimes awkward at the beginning but once we get clear on what we need while we are out, and our partner gets clear on some of the key important tasks that need to get done, we can all move on and have some fun!

Because really, that's the key here!

We are creating space in our week to have fun.

Nat and Mel xx

More information on our Retreat space:
https://www.soulpresenceretreats.com.au/

Head over to our Grab Your Keys and Go community for some juicy conversations around the topics of our podcasts
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1921054834941568