Grandma's Been There

In school, they always told us we were made in our creator's image. So, didn't that mean we were born to be creative? Our teachers didn't necessarily interpret it that way, and they suffered the consequences.

The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent... and the guilty. The problem is, I can't tell which is which. Let me introduce you to "The Brooklyn Art of Payback."

When I was little, we fantasized about a future when robots would do the housework and meals would be prepared with the push of a button. While we waited for those days to come, we marveled at every new invention that came our way. Some impressed us more than others. There were a few that we thought might be better off going back to the drawing board. Were they good inventions or bad ideas?

Three dollars for a cup of coffee. Seven dollars for two scoops of ice cream. Two dollars for a candy bar... Outrageous? It certainly is, but unless you're closer to my age, you have no idea just how insane today's prices are. Let's go back to the 1950s and talk about "The Price of Life."

There was nothing trendy or fancy about coffee when I was a little girl. It was just coffee. More than that, I'm not gonna say. I'll let this week's story speak for itself.

I always say, "Mama didn't raise no dumb kids!" And that's because Mama was no fool herself. Back in the day, parents were fond of telling us kids that we couldn't fool them. Sometimes they were actually right. But sometimes they were dead wrong, as you'll hear in today's story.

Why is it dangerous for a four-year-old to suck her thumb? Why is it a bad idea to put a goldfish bowl on top of a television set? How does one mother get two babies and a very large carriage down a flight of stairs? Where do babies come from? What should you answer when a pediatrician asks you if you want to see stars? All these questions will be answered as you come with me to revisit some of my earliest memories. 

Everybody had that one special teacher, the one who made a difference in their lives. Sister Myra was an open-minded educator who encouraged my creativity and broadened my perspective. It was the school year of 1967-68 and the entire world was on the brink of a cultural revolution. Let me tell you about the eighth grade.

Every generation loves to treat its children to lectures about the toys, technology, entertainment and conveniences they didn't have back in their day. Whether it was because of our elders' encouragement or simply because we were kids, our imaginations served us very well.

The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy defines circular reasoning as a fallacy "that occurs when the reasoner begins with what he or she is trying to end up with." Confused? You won't be after today's story. And you might never look at pigeons or cemeteries the same way again.