Today on the podcast, I’m joined by author, Leah Forney.
Leah’s three published books pull from personal experience. Her most recent release, Defining Moments: From Tragedy to Triumph to Destiny, details her personal journey with grief and its’ lessons. During her 8 years as a mental health technician, Leah has learned that pain has two sides and everyone has a unique story to tell.
Conversation with Leah Forney
KandasWelcome, Leah.
LeahThank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
KandasTell us your unique story.
LeahMy unique story starts in childhood. I was raised in Queens, New York. I was raised by my maternal grandmother and my aunt. Both my parents struggled with addiction their entire lives. My father was an alcoholic until the day he died. My mom, she has continued to battle with addiction. And so I didn’t have my parents. And so you can only imagine what that felt like growing up, right, especially as a young girl, needing her mother to kind of show her what womanhood would be like, but then also needing her dad to kind of show her what it means to have relationships with men.
And so growing up, I struggled a lot emotionally, I struggled with my confidence, I struggled with self-esteem, I struggle with even feeling like I was enough. Because I didn’t have my parents to tell me those things. I didn’t have a daddy to tell me that was beautiful. I didn’t have mom to tell me that I was worthy. So I didn’t feel those things. And so I’m not having my parents kind of caused me to start to withdraw. But when I withdrew, I became angry, right. And so I became this young girl who wouldn’t get into fights, I became this young girl who would lash out, and I couldn’t always remember my grandmother saying to me, you got to do something with this anger. Because if you don’t do something with this anger, you’re going to end up in one or two places, either you’re going to die at a young age, or you’re going to end up in prison. And so I knew I didn’t want to do either one of those things. How I began to deal with the emotions was through writing. And I remember probably a year ago, having a conversation with my grandmother. And she said, You know, when you were a child, you always wrote, like, I always saw you somewhere in the corner writing something, right. And so writing was like the therapeutic process for me like I needed to get it out. I didn’t know how to get it out. And so I knew I didn’t want to end up in jail, I knew I didn’t want to end up in prison. So I just wrote, and so I started off just writing letters to God. And then even when Christmas time came around, instead of having a Santa Claus list, I had like a letter to Santa. But writing was the outlet. It was the thing that helped me to kind of get my emotions out. And so that is kind of the beginning of how I ended up as an author.
KandasAt what age did you, I guess you kind of never really let go of the anger. But at what age did you learn how to handle it?
LeahYeah, so it kind of came with me into adulthood. Um, I think that I grew out of it in a sense as a child, but I think that I’ve always battled with these mixed emotions about my parents, because, you know, they’re my parents, like, these are the people that gave me like, they weren’t the best parents. And so I always battled with mixed emotions, especially with my mom. Because, again, I had to figure out womanhood on my own. I didn’t have that guidance. And so actually, when I wrote my very first book, it details that relationship with my mom, because and how I had this love-hate relationship...