Dr. Greg Smalley serves as the vice president of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family.

He says the one thing it takes to have a great marriage is creating a marriage that feels safe. Hearts only open when they feel safe. We feel safe when the people around us see us and appreciate us. Gratitude.

Gratitude starts with an awareness of what this person is doing that you appreciate. And gratitude is not just an attitude. It needs to be expressed. Tell your spouse that you are grateful, not just for what they do but for who they are.

If you’re in a season in your marriage where you can’t even think of one thing you are grateful for in your spouse, ask God to show you what He loves about your spouse. It could transform your marriage.

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