Life can become heavy at times. So heavy, that many times we feel as if we cannot bear up under it. Life often overwhelms us beyond what we think is our ability to endure. At one time or another, all of us have said of our troubles: “This is killing me.” Bro. Hughes asks, “What do you do when life is killing you?” It is not hard to imagine that Paul was talking about life in our modern world. Godly people find life hard. We expect that wicked people to suffer in life. But when we observe good people going through storms while evil people prosper, some may question the reasons.
In our text, Paul describes a time when he was at the point of saying “This is killing me.” He was so low that he “despaired for life.” This is not some casual Christian; we are talking about the apostle Paul. Paul was not a bad person, but he went through some trying situations that pressed him to the point of losing his will to live. So much was his burden that he expected and prepared to die. Then something happened. The bible does not say what, but God intervened and something resurrected in him. What he discovered during this time literally pulled him back from the brink of death. What did Paul discover when life was killing him? Bro. Hughes observes that Paul realized three things. 1) When life is killing you, go ahead and die. Don’t die to life, but die to self. Paul discovered that while dealing with his problems, he was relying on Paul, not God. He was trying to solve his problems without God. We try to fix things ourselves. We try to right all that is not working when we should turn it over to Him. We must die to ourselves, so that we can be totally dependent upon Him. 2) Paul changed his focus from his burdens to his blessings. He observed that God had saved, is saving, and would save in the future. 3) Finally, Paul recognized that no matter how weak his human hands might be, God’s hands still had a strong hold on him.