Greeced Lightning

Sam and Sara bring you this special broadcast for the release of Gladiator 2! Join us for historically inaccurate weaponry, tyrannical brother emperors, unusual animal appearances, and a rip roaring good time.

Tune in for a bonus episode in which Sara and Sam joined the fine folks at Screens of the Stone Age for very unique film!

When Men Carried Clubs and Women Played Ding-Dong (1971) is an Italian sex comedy in which cave women of two warring tribes stage a sex strike until their cave men make peace. If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s a stone-age adaptation of the Ancient Greek play Lysistrata by Aristophanes. It’s all Greek to us, so we’ve invited Dr. Sara Hales-Brittain and Sam Siegel of the Greeced Lightning podcast to help us understand the erotic chicken cosplay, glory-hole fish emasculation, and petroleum-based conversion therapy. You heard me.

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In this episode:

• Watch When Men Carried Clubs and Women Played Ding-Dong on the Internet Archive
• Read Lysistrata by Aristophanes:
• Chi-Raq on Greeced Lightning
• Il Primo Re on Greeced Lightning
• Attila on SotSA
• “Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun!”
• “Chickens don’t clap!”
• Circummingo
• Petronius’ werewolf story
• Lingurium
• Crannogs

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able.

It’s the Season 2 finale and we’re going out with a comedic bang! Join Sara and Sam for Oscar Wilde’s riff on Plautus, including mistaken identities, ass tattoos, our preferred Colin Firths, and a reflection on the highs and lows of this season.

• The Importance of Being Earnest - Project Gutenberg's text of Oscar Wilde's play.
• Menaechmi - English translation of Plautus's comedy.

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able. 

Sam and Sara take one last trip to Roman Britain to learn about Boudica, Queen of the Iceni. Learn just how little we know about this badass and brutal leader while also discussing temples to modern politicians, advice from child ghosts, and a deeply misogynistic depiction of a woman leader. CW: rape, physical abuse

• Gold torc, British Museum - This Iron Age torc (neck ring) was discovered in Norfolk, the territory of the ancient Iceni.
• Drinking skulls - Although this is significantly older than the British Iron Age and Roman period, there is archaeological evidence for ancient Britons drinking from skulls as they do in the movie.
• Cassius Dio's History, Bk 62 - Cassius Dio's account of Boudica's revolt. Scroll past the epitome (summary) to get to the full text of Bk 62 for his full account.
• Tacitus, Annals 14.29-39 - Tacitus's account of Boudica's revolt

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able.

Sara and Sam explore the sitcoms of the ancient world: the Roman comedies by Plautus. Join us to learn about vibe translations, Buster Keaton’s criminally brief storyline, camel-related compliments, the hosts’ breakfasts of choice, and more!

• Female actresses - Funerary inscription for a female actor Bassilla, recorded and translated in Easterling and Hall, eds., Greek and Roman Actors: Aspects of an Ancient Profession
• Miles Gloriosus - English translation of Plautus's comedy

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able.

We just can’t quit you, Legio IX! Remnants of Rome’s 9th Legion crop up yet again as Sara and Sam explore the decline of the Western Roman Empire. Discussion includes the Germanic invasions, the last Western emperor, incorrect inscriptions, poor filmmaking skills, white supremacist-adjacent legends, and more!

• Ancient Rome by Thomas R. Martin - An accessible overview of Roman history from the founding to Justinian.
• Portrait of the Four Tetrarchs - Porphyry sculpture from approx. 300 CE which is supposed to picture the first Dominate, composed of Diocletian and Maximian, and Galerius and Constantius I
• Romulus Augustulus - Gold coin that shows a portrait of Romulus Augustus wearing a crown
• Jordanes, Getica - Translation of the 6th c. historian Jordanes' text on the Goths.

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able. 

In our most chaotic episode yet, Sara and Sam dish up a big bowl of the myth soup that is Percy Jackson. Ingredients include: venereal disease, a new Law & Order franchise, pasta water on tap, and Sam and Sara’s top priorities for social & political reforms.

• Varvakeion Athena - The most faithful miniature we have of Phidias's Athena Parthenos, which was housed in the Parthenon. Photo by George E. Koronaios, cropped by Neoclassicism Enthusiast - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0
• Chiron - The ancient vase paintings and frescoes included on this page of excerpts definitely answers Sam's anatomy question as: horse.
• Ps.-Apollodorus, Bibliotheca 3.14 - Athena and Poseidon compete to be patron of Athens
• Aeschylus's Eumenides - English translation by George Theodoridis

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able.

Sara and Sam return to Roman Britain to discuss the conquering governor Agricola and the ultimate fate of the mysterious 9th Legion. Join us for conversation about military inscriptions, outdated female archetypes, Bush era filmmaking, and the combination of historical events that didn’t actually overlap in time.

• Astragalos - Knucklebones (astragaloi) of sheep and goats were commonly used as dice and game pieces in antiquity. This image shows a glass astragalos made to look like its bone original.
• Latrunculi - A Roman board game that shares features of both checkers and chess.
• Bar Kokhba Revolt | Britannica - A very brief overview of the biggest, and final, Jewish revolt against Rome.
• CIL 06.3492 - A reproduction of the inscription listing active legions during the reign of Marcus Aurelius.
• Pict | Britannica
• Legio VIIII Hispana - A great overview of the legion's history, including a bit about the inscriptions found at Nijmegen.
• Agricola - A translation of Tacitus's biography of his father-in-law, the former governor of Britain.
• Legio IX Hispana Tablet - Fragmentary inscription in the Yorkshire Museum, with the reconstructed text surrounding

Join Sara and Sam for a short episode to discuss two constructed women: Pygmalion’s statue and Pandora! Highlights include a nod to Jewish folklore, what you can do with hope, nasty bar bathrooms, and John Hughes’s worst flick.

• The Legend Of The Golem Of Prague
• Hesiod, Works and Days - Pandora's story features from roughly line 50-113.
• Ovid's Metamorphoses: Book 10 - In which Orpheus sings of Pgymalion

Greeced Lightning supports a permanent end to the violence and genocide in Gaza. We encourage you to take action however you are able. 

Sara and Sam tackle the Roman conquest of Britain! Join us for travel tidbits, border walls, special trips to Sam’s Video Game Corner, and how far your hosts would go to prevent starvation on the moors.

• Battle of the Teutoburg Forest - "Quinctilius Varus, give me back my legions!"
• Cicero, Letters to Atticus 4.17 - Discusses the potential gains (such as they are) of campaigning in Britain
• Falkirk - Part of the Antonine Wall in modern-day Scotland
• Suetonius, Life of Julius Caesar
• Caesar, de bello Gallico Bk. 5