Grey Matters Now

Shelby Stanger is the host and creator of the hit podcast, Wild Ideas Worth Living, an REI Co-op Studios production and the author of the new book Will To Wild. Shelby started the Wild Ideas Worth Living podcast on her own though and it became SO popular and influential that REI purchased it in 2020.  Like her adventurous podcast guests, Shelby is a true badass and trailblazer whose trails have led her to major wild outdoor adventures, writing a book, large speaking engagements and even most recently a Ted Talk. Over the years, her work has appeared everywhere from Outside Magazine to ESPN, and she has spoken to organizations all over the world. Always chasing adventure herself, Shelby has surfed from Canada to Costa Rica; sandboarded down desolate dunes in Cape Town; paddled down a remote portion of the Amazon River; and interviewed countless CEOs, athletes, activists, and thought leaders. She regularly consults with highly motivated individuals and brands to tell better stories and even launch their own podcasts and wild ideas. As a matter of fact she helped me on several occasions when I attended her no bullshit podcasting workshops back when there was little to no support. She is a genuine enthusiastic, joyful, curious fun, stoked, and insightful human!  And even more so in person. All of that energy is infectious. After following her and interacting with her virtually for like 10 years when I finally met her in person, it was hard to just stick to one avenue. I mean she is my favorite host of my favorite podcast and her new book has enriched my life and motivated me in seriously profound ways! Her adventure roots have grown into something really magnificent that is branching out in all sorts of exciting new directions . I felt like there was so much to explore in such a short amount of time and I wanted to go in so many places!  So …I just let us free flow, we had a fun nonstructured expression session and I think we took the most beautiful scenic route in conversation. We had a blast…Enjoy our talk on the wild side! To learn more about all things Shelby I really encourage you to visit www.shelbystanger.com

Photo with Mic by Jianca Lazarus(Photo)/ Outside Magazine

Photo with surfboard by Sarah Lee

Ukulele and singing by Sheila Grimsley 

Samantha Colicchio is a San Diego-based writer who focuses on feminism, sex, and mental health. She writes regularly for lifestyle and wellness blogs and she is currently working on a book of nonfiction.

To me, she is Sam my sweet neighbor and friend that is apparently also humble and a VERY talented writer. I knew nothing of her phenomenal writing skills until she recently wrote an article that was featured in the Huffington Post. It is a brilliantly written, brave, very transparent and vulnerable account of her struggles with Relationship OCD, a relatively new subtype of the disorder.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and has been observed in the U.S. since 1949 every year to highlight mental health issues in order to fight stigma, provide validation and support, educate the public and advocate for policies that support the millions and millions of people in the U.S. affected by mental illness.

This is so important but is a very a tall order and such a large infinitely evolving issue.  The giant umbrella and mountain of mental health is so large it can be paralyzing.  I’m not sure there is anybody that has not been affected by a mental health issue in some way. How do we start …how do we feed a nation of people starving for a connection that lets them know they are not alone, that lifts a stigma or breaks chains of shame or secrets that will set people free?

Well, a great start is sharing and listening….rolling up our sleeves and digging in.  We all have closed door stories that, let’s be honest, are usually rooted in a mental health issue. So… when someone is brave and generous enough to open that door for us (whether it be public or private) graciously accept this gift and opportunity and go in!!!  The more we understand the more we can cultivate compassion.

Sam’s article is a perfect example of opening a very public door. She had such a massive amount of positive responses and connections that The Huffington Post has her creating videos that dig deeper into the layers of ROCD and her story. For me personally, I waltzed right in her door and asked her if she wanted to go for a walk because I wanted to know more and have a conversation.  This, in turn, opened up a door for me to step out of and share with Sam a mental health issue I have, and never discussed publicly until now.  We decided we had so much more relative conversation that we should record a podcast episode to open does for others and help them peel back layers to become lighter and start feeling free.  All the links and resources we discuss will be in my show notes.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health care professional if you or someone you know needs help.  There is no reason to ever suffer in silence!

You can learn more about her at www.samanthaacolicchio.com  or on Instagram at @samanthacolicchio.

Relationship OCD, or rOCD, is a newly recognized type of obsessive-compulsive disorder that is primarily concerned with fears and doubts about one's relationship, typically of an intimate or romantic nature.

Mental Health Care Resources :

https://www.nami.org/home

OCD: https://nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Obsessive-compulsive-Disorder?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwpayjBhAnEiwA-7ena_vFDRNioztB6FtrGInaJFm4b2PnlToBarh-7c1Dm0RHtR8UwqFfbhoCgEQQAvD_BwE

ADHD:   https://chadd.org/

https://nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Obsessive-compulsive-Disorder?gad=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwpayjBhAnEiwA-7ena_vFDRNioztB6FtrGInaJFm4b2PnlToBarh-7c1Dm0RHtR8UwqFfbhoCgEQQAvD_BwE

Amazon Book link: (the author doesn't have a personal website) https://www.amazon.com/Relationship-OCD-CBT-Based-Commitment-Relationships/dp/1684037913#:~:text=“Sheva%20Rajaee%20has%20written%20an,%2C%20freedom%2C%20and%20love

Enjoy: "To enjoy something is to take delight or pleasure in something."

Upcycling: “The act of taking something no longer in use and giving it a second life and new function. In doing so, the finished product often becomes more practical, valuable and beautiful than what it previously was.”

Ed Lewis started his first business in 1996 right out of college and since then his goals have shifted significantly. In the beginning work was all about self and making a living… admitting that in his twenties he couldn’t see too far past himself.

photo credit: Nate Perraccini 

In 2005 after experiencing the birth of his daughter, something shifted for him and he suddenly had a view of the world that was less about self and more about others.

In 2010 he cofounded Enjoy Handplanes with the mission of making products from other peoples trash. It was a cool way to save broken surfboards, old wetsuits and production waste from going to the landfills while creating products that are fun to use and environmentally responsible.

He describes this time as an awakening that got him thinking seriously about the environment and how doing business could actually have a positive impact on his community locally and globally. In the process of doing business he also became a filter for community and became a resource for people to drop off their trashed products.

Over the past 10 years he has been a pioneer in the space of converting trash to beautiful, functional products and his business became a lab for him to think more and more outside the box. In this experience, he has learned valuable lessons along the way and has helped to inspire others around the world to do the same.

His latest venture is Enjoy the Farm. Enjoy The Farm is a 9.5 acre upcycled maker space, learning center and regenerative rare fruit farm located in North County San Diego and is focused on DIY regenerative - food, water, energy, materials, shelter and soils.

This passion driven endeavor created a space to come learn how to incorporate upcycling and holistic land management into lives and businesses, and most importantly cultivate community.

This is definitely not just a story of a business evolution. Can we also upcycle what life tosses at us and to us? Yes Indeed, and Ed is the perfect example of an evolution of personal growth through regenerating experiences. This up cycled energy is infinite and will germinate and spread like collards.

Enjoy!

https://enjoy-the-farm.com/

https://www.enjoyhandplanes.com/

Instagram @enjoy_the_farm @enjoyhandplanes 

 

Intro Music: J45 & Dime by Will Kimbrough Episode Artwork Photo Credit: Alia Lewis

Mary Cap is a sound healer based in Carlsbad, CA where she lives with her husband and son. After leaving a fast paced and high stress career in the hotel wedding & events industry to be a stay-at-home mom when her son was born, she found herself feeling lost in both identity and direction after about a year of being at home. Experiencing depression for the first time in her life, she began to unravel the layers of trauma and conditioning that she realized were affecting her everyday life, relationships and ability to live life to the fullest.

This “dark night of the soul” led to a spiritual awakening and ultimately led her to sound healing and starting her own business. Music has been a passion in Mary’s life since she was a young girl, and being able to help others and ease the burden of their stress was what she enjoyed most about her previous career in events. Being able to marry these two is her ultimate calling and purpose in life, allowing her to serve others while also cultivating an important tool for herself as a parent, wife and human who has to navigate the world. The powerful impact that sound and music can have on an individual is no secret, but through Mary’s training with the Sacred Science of Sound, she discovered that there are actual scientific properties behind why - and that it can help to heal your mind, body and soul on a cellular level. Her mission is to help bring this powerful healing modality into the mainstream and hold safe spaces for others to experience this. Her business, Full Circle Sound Healing, was born from her heart and intends to serve her local community. 

Mary hosts a monthly Full Moon Sound Bath & Women’s Ritual here in Carlsbad with the intention of creating a community of women and mothers who commit to taking the time to gather together each month and honor nature and their unique gifts as women in the world. Full Circle Sound Healing is only just beginning and Mary offers both private group sessions, individual sessions and couple’s sessions in addition to community events. 

• Website: www.fullcirclesoundhealing.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fullcirclesoundhealing/
• Mary Cap’s Story: http://sdvoyager.com/interview/check-out-mary-caps-story/
• An Chau & Susie Sands on Insight Timer: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/insight-timer-meditation-app/id337472899

A couple of years ago I started following a social media account Salted Spirit because I was so drawn to the beautiful images of this cool waterwoman podcasting and serving tea at the beach from my ultimate dream recording studio - a vintage Westfalia named Salted Carmela.  

This beautiful salted spirit is Stacie Vanags and she was creating something way deeper and more comprehensive than just beautiful images. Her mission was to make her way around Southern California, hosting Salted Spirit podcasts, workshops and cultivating COMMUNITY for waterwomen. 

Her workshops focus on techniques and strategies for work/life balance, pursing passions, mindfulness and resilience.

Turns out Stacie has a background in mental health and the abbreviated version of her full time job is to help large companies develop innovative plans that prioritize the mental health of their employees.

So …everything this generous salted spirit is offering through social media, workshops, newsletters and websites is completely from her heart - pure organic passion projects. Amazing and selfless huh?!!!  Well It gets even better and more fun and she is sharing even more as she takes the world along with her and her husband in an unvarnished evolution to design a happier, healthier and more sustainable life. Stacie invites the world to join them in this pursuit via the creation of Teaquila Farm
.

Teaquila Farm documents their journey building an urban farm in Ventura, California as they lean into sustainable urban farming practices, gardening, composting, planting for biodiversity, raising backyard chickens, and more! More indeed… In doing this she is really really expanding her community. A community of folks that are creating foundations together rolling their sleeves up getting their hands in the dirt, getting grounded, creating healthy nourishing gardens, creating growth root to rise growth and hope for the future.

I love my garden so much - it grounds me and nurtures me and feeds me.

Through Teaquila Farm it has been super fun to connect with others that have so many seeds of wisdom and tools to share.

When we connect, even if it’s virtually, we create community gardens and right now we need grounding and a lot of community!

I love this snippet from Teaquila Farms latest newsletter: "You take a bunch of selfies with a strawberry and immediately forget about all the time, money and energy you invested to get a single strawberry, and it's aaaaaall worth it.

Life is sweet, you've officially started urban farm life.

These small victories in the garden keep us encouraged, but nature also keeps us humble.

Nature reminds us we cannot control the outcome or speed things up to meet our human timeline. There is a basket of lessons just waiting to be dished up to us over time if our hearts are open to listening. Audrey Hepburn said to plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow."

Thanks Stacie and Teaquila Farm for the hope, light and heaps of fun! Planting New Thoughts, Weeding Out the Old - GoodTherapy

www.teaquilafarm.com

IG @teaquilafarm @salted_spirit @mindandsoil www.mindandsoil.com

To learn more about gardening's mental health benefits check out Mind & Soil's guide to Mindful Gardening.

Music: Mahana by Abe Lagrimas, Jr.

One common tool in everyones wellness, healing and navigation toolbox and mentioned in every podcast episode is breath.  Yes - we need breath to exist, but we also need it to live and thrive.  Whether we feel stuck, paralyzed, escalated or ungrounded by the weight of the world or everyday challenges, breathing is our vehicle to navigate forward. Our breath is a powerful and exciting tool that can take us many more places than just forward.  A guide and expert can show us how to utilize this tool we carry with us everywhere, to unlock new spaces and experiences.

As a surfer, husband, father of two young girls, and an owner of two start-up businesses, Reis Paluso found himself searching for a way to maintain balance in life. By making a mind-body connection through the Wim Hof Method and summiting mountains in sub-zero temperatures wearing only shorts he began on a journey of unlocking his true potential and found the capacity to dig in just that much deeper into the things he is passionate about. After some exciting self discovery, he followed his heart down the path of becoming a certified Wim Hof Method instructor Instructor, breathwork coach, facilitator, and co-founder of Our Breath Collective in order to share these powerful tools with the world.  Our Breath Collective is a phenomenal  ndeavor with a vision to share the power of breath to inspire the extraordinary by connecting community with daily breathing sessions and breath education.

Like all of our healing and wellness tools, breathwork is not one-sized-fits-all. We are all slightly different, particularly our nervous systems. This is why Reis takes a multi disciplinary, principle-based approach to breathing. It provides the ability to work with individuals and groups based on their specific needs. He believes we all have the innate power to be Happy, Strong, and Healthy so let’s do this together! There is so much power and energy in collective healing and wellness work. Reis and Our Breath Collective hosts a variety of amazing experiences, classes, workshops, daily live breaths, private training, and retreats. To learn about and be a part of all these epic opportunities follow Reis and Our Breath Collective on IG and check out their websites linked in my show notes.

Breathe and enjoy!

ourbreathcollective.com reispaluso.com Instagram: @reispaluso LinkedIn: @reispaluso Instagram: @ourbreathcollective weekly classes Gather Encinitas - Instagram: @gatherencinitas

 

 

 

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🎵 Song: 'Sappheiros - Embrace' is under a creative commons license.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxLKyBhC6igFhLEb0gxvQNg​

🎶 Music promoted by BreakingCopyright:

https://youtu.be/DzYp5uqixz0

Best selling author David Magee, formerly a columnist for Newsweek, a former daily newspaper and magazine publisher, and the author of many books about businesses and sports figures began to shift his focus when he wrote wrote an article for the front page of the local paper in 2016. This personal article ripped the bandage off a wound, to air out and share for a greater good and healing all around. It began with these 2 sentences: "A new freshman class started at Ole Miss this week and I wish I could tell them ALL this story.

It’s about my oldest son William, who was a freshman in 2008, he would gladly tell you himself if only he were alive."

By the next morning the story had gone viral and read by millions of people not only coast to coast but all over the world!!

The ripple affect of this article turned into waves of conversations, community and brainstorming about the why’s re: drug overdoeses, substance misuse, addiction and mental health…evolving into tangible solutions with the opening of the first wellness center of it’s kind on a college campus - The William Magee Center For Wellness.   David decided to go deeper turning his focus inward, layers kept coming off and a lot of these layers were dark and uncomfortable yet he kept going. Peeling off layers of intergenerational trauma, addiction, loss and shame. Shedding these old personal heavy layers of responsibility eventually uncovered truth and lightness of self discovery and the joy out weighed the darkness of the past until they reached a personal and family core, and pages were made. He and his supportive family became fully vulnerable and discovered a bright heart center at that core and new found space for more light and love to hold and shine back out to the world.

These pages and this journey of self discovery is now a best selling book: Dear William: A Father’s Memoir of Addiction, Love and Recovery.

Dear William began as a grassroots movement in order to push the healing message farther to those who can benefit. This has also branched into public speaking, Ted Talks, National News, round table discussions…the branches are limitless

In my opinion there is a reason this book became a best seller in just a couple of weeks and book stores all over the country are hustling to keep it in stock.

What David has done with this book is bust down the door of shame and free everyone that was locked behind it to share their own stories and to discuss topics normally considered taboo, weak, embarrassing or sordid. Free people to breathe….I am not alone…free people to make their OWN decisions…free people of peer pressure….free students to care about and help their peers…free us all to dump all of our, now uncorded, de-stigmatized shame, crap and laundry out in the open. We are all now free, chains cut weights lifted, able to move forward to discuss and sort through all this old uncomfortable stuff together and finally use it to problem solve. It frees my generation to stop the cycle of silence and walls and what our parents considered airing dirty laundry in public. W are free to come together as a community to create some solutions to foster compassion, healing and brainstorm about solutions.

Thank you Magee family for sharing how to take tragedy, struggles and dark truths into light, strength and hope.

I have had THE most profound, deep and beautiful conversations after sharing this book , I can’t wait for you to have the same experience after reading and sharing

https://www.daviddmagee.com/

https://www.squarebooks.com/book/9781953295682

https://magee.olemiss.edu/

https://www.cbs.com/shows/cbs-mornings/video/lmmx_SS55y_eHF9wJR3TV7u38etaSkYW/david-magee-s-new-memoir-dear-william-details-family-s-trauma-with-addiction-loss-and-rebuilding/

Guitar Music by Will Kimbrough

Tina Page is a licensed clinical social worker in the state of California. She has been creating and holding safe space for individuals for over 20 years. In both informal settings as well as in structured therapy settings she utilizes intuitive wisdom and best practice approaches that support each individual in their journey.

For the past 3 years, she has provided therapeutic services on-line and has worked with people all over the world. Her ability to connect and create a safe and compassionate space while challenging her clients transcends technological limitations.

She has also been a big support and been a part of several of my podcasts over the years as a colleague, staff expert and guest.

Tina is not only a friend but someone I really really like and admire as a professional and as a human. She is a wise woman that thinks outside the box and is consistently very open to weaving new and innovative healing tools into her own fabric in order to provide the best and most comprehensive care for her clients.

Tina has most recently created a program called rerooting circles. For the first time she candidly shares on this episode about how she had her epiphany and vision for this program. Rerooting circles (original title) was created out of the realization that what we circle around is what we root into. This idea came to her in February 2019 and she continued to nurture it, practice it, and explore its deep meanings. As our current way of living in this world has been taking on a drastic shifts, the concepts behind Rerooting could not be more necessary and timely.

Rerooting Circles also has a podcast and Tina and I thought it would be cool to do something different and record our podcasts together…like a duet we brought our own tones and sounds to create a unique and harmonious episode. It was super fun - enjoy!

www.rerootingcircles.com

www.talkspace.com

On June 11, 2020 I recorded Episode 25: Healing Trauma Through Surf Therapy and Waves of Love With Natalie Small LMFT and Leanne Tibiatowski.

Groundswell Community Project a sisterhood of inter-sectional womxn holding safe & brave space for individuals and communities to find their healing, power, and belonging in Mother Ocean’s Waves.

Since our last podcast GSCP realized that the world was in need of a specific resource for processing grief.

Waves of Grief: Their Waves of Grief community drop-in groups were birthed out of response to the various types of personal and communal grief that resulted from COVID’s impact on our lives. They welcome women and their families who are grieving loss of loved ones, jobs, homes, and normalcy. The in person or virtual group sessions integrate grief practices that include movement, art, and the ocean to honor and grieve what has been lost. After time in circle and setting of intentions, everyone is invited to interact with Mother ocean’s waves and notice what she teaches you!

I am joined to discuss this program with:

Captain Natalie Small LMFT, the founder of Groundswell Community Project and an active facilitator live from Costa Rica

Tracey Chester LMFT, Certified Grief Counselor, Certified Surf Therapy Facilitator & Waves of Grief Facilitator / San Diego County Founder and Clinical Director of San Diego Pain Trauma Institute

And

Kelsey Ellis Kelsey is stoked to represent and grow the roots of Groundswell in Northern California! Kelsey is a Grief Facilitator in Half Moon Bay, California who lost her twin sister to COVID-19 and is turning her grief to impact by healing women through surf therapy. After the sudden loss of her twin sister in 2020, Kelsey formed Waves of Grief surf therapy groups in her community to honor and address collective grief, isolation and stress experienced during the pandemic through the Groundswell Community Project.

National Geographic’s IMPACT is a short-form documentary series that follows the powerful stories of six women who are making an extraordinary impact on their communities around the world. Kelsey’s profound story is featured in this series. This documentary is extremely powerful - please please watch it to see and feel the comprehensive magnitude of the healing effects of Kelsey’s processing her grief and healing others at the same time.

Audrey Marie Ellis Foundation: The Audrey Marie Ellis foundation was recently founded in honor of Kelsey’s twin sister Audrey, a nurse who died of COVID-19. The foundation provides direct support for women and healthcare workers while creating safe supportive spaces to gather and honor collective grief and love. The Audrey Marie Ellis Foundation is the starting point for inspiring Audrey's biggest passions: health, wellbeing and community.

https://www.audreymarieellis.com/

https://www.groundswellcommunity.org/

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/tv/shows/impact-with-gal-gadot

https://youtu.be/F3LS8CQJW4A

Music by Josiah Samadhi

Meet the Aqua Dolls

The band is composed of a power trio Melissa / vocals & guitar Keilah / vocals & bass Jackie/ vocals & drums

And... their amazing manager Jaysea Devoe who is always behind the scenes taking care of business! This was Jaysea's 3rd time on the podcast. In her 1st episode, a teenager's guide to balance, we discussed how valuable her foundation, light, and tools would be as she navigates through life and things become more challenging.  It has been a gift to follow her growth and evolution into her new role and how her foundation and light were so important in her journey!!

These young women are TALENTED, caring, smart, pro-active FIERCE FEMALES, and they ROCK !!

Historically and unfortunately women have always faced unique challenges in the music industry.  The Aqua Dolls eagerly joined me for some powerful conversation about how to maintain balance, respect and sanity in hopes of helping anyone being mistreated in the industry for being their true selves!

The energy of music is undeniably healing on SO many levels.

Whether you're performing your own music, singing along, dancing, moshing, belting out songs in the car …it all feels SO GOOD!

HUGE BONUS and honor - It was an incredible treat to have them perform 2 songs acoustic & live on the show!!!

Shout out to Bram and Arden Rock Records for always providing a quality studio experience ...https://www.ardenrockrecords.com

Check out all things AquadollsI promise you will be entertained !:

The Aquadolls were founded in January 2012 by Melissa Brooks, the lead singer and songwriter for the band in La Mirada, California. Melissa began recording bedroom demos of her songs and eventually released We Are Free in early 2013, and then debuted her album Stoked on You in December 2014.

After a brief break from releases, the stars aligned in July 2018 and the new era of The Aquadolls commenced with Jacqueline Proctor on drums and Keilah Nina on bass . The band grew as a powerful threesome leading up to the release of The Aquadolls highly anticipated second album, The Dream and the Deception, recorded and self-produced by Brooks and self-released October 28, 2018 on Aqua Babe Records.

Following their sophomore album, they have self-released the single Suck on This in summer 2019, followed by their viral cover of Lash's Take Me Away in October 2020. In July 2021, The Aquadolls signed to indie label Enci Records and released their latest single Disappearing Girl.

Having opened for artists like Pennywise, Kate Nash, Vivian Girls, and X, playing festivals with Weezer, Rancid, Cat Power, and FIDLAR, touring with White Reaper, as well as headlining North American tours and playing local California shows, The Aquadolls are in-your-face and good vibes all at once with energetic performances that leave you anticipating the next show. The Aquadolls pack a punch with tongue-in cheek lyrics, hard-hitting licks, and soothing vocal harmonies that will guarantee a head bang from anyone listening.

https://the-aquadolls.com