What happens when grief goes unprocessed?

In this episode, I’m talking about a part of grief that I don’t think we talk about enough: what happens when the pain we’re carrying starts spilling onto the people around us.

After my stepfather-in-law suffered a stroke, I found myself face-to-face with parts of my dad’s death that I thought I had already processed. Watching someone I love survive something that took my dad’s life brought up jealousy, anger, guilt and some emotions that were honestly really hard for me to admit.

Eventually, I realized those emotions weren’t staying contained inside of me. They were affecting the person I loved most.

This episode is a very honest conversation about unprocessed grief, taking ownership of our healing, and learning that two things can be true at once: your grief deserves to be felt, and you still have a responsibility for what you do with it.

Healing doesn’t mean we stop grieving. But I do believe healing requires our participation.

And sometimes, choosing to process our grief is one of the ways we learn to show up better for the people we love.

I talk a lot about “processing grief,” but I realized that phrase can feel a little vague. Everyone processes loss differently, and I’m not here to tell you there’s only one right way to do it.

In this episode, I share what processing loss has personally looked and felt like for me, along with what it may look like in your own grief journey.

No one should have to navigate loss alone. Always here to support & listen. Follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newellamusicFollow along on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@newellamusicListen to Grief City on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/73vM7gn...Listen to In Heaven: https://open.spotify.com/album/6YW58uutj3tN8qM79TJxWP?si=TzZNy2GZQ9usFbT7YmEJKQ

It’s important to talk about our grief, but I think it’s equally important to recognize all the ways we continue to carry our loved ones with us.Throughout my own grief, I’ve realized how many of my dad’s traits live on in me. His resilience, his strength, his ability to hold onto hope. Ironically, so many of the things he instilled in me have become the very things that have helped carry me through losing him.In this episode of Grief City, I’m talking about what it means to carry more than our grief. We carry pieces of the people we love, too. ❤️‍🩹No one should have to navigate loss alone. Always here to support & listen. Follow along on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newellamusicFollow along on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@newellamusicListen to Grief City on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/73vM7gn...Listen to In Heaven: https://open.spotify.com/album/6YW58uutj3tN8qM79TJxWP?si=TzZNy2GZQ9usFbT7YmEJKQ

Shakira wasn't kidding. Hips don't lie. 🙃

We often think of grief as something that's only emotional, but it's physical too. It becomes this whole mind-and-body experience.

As if the emotional weight wasn't enough, grief can show up as tension, exhaustion, aches, brain fog, and so many other physical symptoms. It can feel incredibly overwhelming.

If you've been wondering why your body feels different after loss, you're not imagining it. I hope this week's Griefy Tip helps you feel a little more understood. 🤍

One of the biggest fears after loss is forgetting the people we love.

It's a terrifying thought.

As the weight of my grief slowly became a little lighter, that fear actually grew louder. I started wondering, What if I forget his voice? His laugh? The little things that made him him?

This week's Griefy Tip is about those complicated emotions.

Grief changes. It softens, reshapes, and looks different as time goes on. But love doesn't disappear just because grief evolves. We don't leave our loved ones behind as we heal. We carry them with us in new ways.

It's strange how the very things that once annoyed us about the people we love can become the things we'd give anything to experience again.

After someone dies, so many of those little frustrations begin to fade. Their habits, quirks, and imperfections don't seem nearly as important anymore.

You'd gladly take every one of them back if it meant you could have one more day together.Have you experienced this in your grief, too?

Grief can be deeply isolating.In the early days after my loss, I worked from home and spent most of my days alone. Without even realizing it, I became trapped in what I can only describe as a grief echo chamber. The more isolated I became, the louder my thoughts, fears, and emotions grew.

I believe every griever needs to make space to sit with their grief. We can't heal by avoiding it.

But I also believe every griever needs to step outside of that echo chamber from time to time.

Sometimes that looks like meeting a friend for coffee. Taking a walk. Sitting in a park. Running an errand. Calling someone who feels safe. Not because it makes the grief disappear, but because it gently reminds us that there's still a world beyond our pain.

Loss changes us.

Does it change everything about us? Not necessarily. But it does change us.

One of the hardest parts of grief is learning to accept who you are after loss. Because accepting this new version of yourself often means accepting that they're really gone.

It's complicated. It's uncomfortable. It's heartbreaking.

But there can also be something beautiful in getting to know yourself again.

I hope this Griefy Tip encourages you to begin loving who you are after loss—the messy parts, the beautiful parts, and all the pieces still finding their place. ❤️‍🩹

Grief changing can feel almost as unsettling as grief itself.

For so long, the pain feels overwhelming and ever-present. Then one day you realize you're crying less, thinking about them differently, or carrying the loss with a little less weight. And strangely, that can bring up guilt, confusion, or even fear.

In this Griefy Tip, I talk about the shifting nature of grief and why those changes don't mean you're forgetting your person. They don't mean you loved them less.

They mean you're doing what humans are designed to do: adapt, grow, and heal.

If your grief feels different from how it used to, you're not doing it wrong. ❤️‍🩹,

I have very mixed feelings about viewings, funerals, and memorial services.

On one hand, I love that they create space to hear stories, connect with people who loved your person, and celebrate a life that mattered.

On the other hand, they can be incredibly overwhelming. You're grieving one of the biggest losses of your life while simultaneously greeting dozens (or hundreds) of people, making decisions, managing logistics, and trying to hold yourself together.

It's a lot.

Whatever your thoughts are on these gatherings, I hope this Griefy Tip serves as a reminder to take a breath. Whether you're planning a service, standing through a visitation line, or simply feeling exhausted by the emotional weight of it all, you deserve moments of peace too.

Because after everyone goes home, we're the ones who continue carrying the weight of the loss.

We have to look after our hearts, too. ❤️‍🩹,