Grief, Gratitude & The Gray in Between

Kathryn Monaco-Douglas shares her journey of when she became a widow over 20 years ago when her husband Larry died, they had been married for over 19 years and had 3 kids. She had to learn how to do things on her own, because Larry used to take care of everything and was also the financial provider.

Kathryn started searching for bereavement groups, and found very few options for support. That is where she met Scott, her husband, who was a widower. After attending a few bereavement groups, she realized she could not listen to everyone's journey and take "their losses on top of hers". So she decided she would change it! A few years later, she launched Widowed Not Alone, an organization to help widows, widowers and their families have a place where they could come together and have support.

To contact Kathryn Monaco-Douglas for more information about in person or online support sessions: https://widowednotalone.com/

Contact Kendra Rinaldi if you want to be a guest on the podcast:

https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/

Music: https://rinaldisound.com/

Logo: https://pamelawinningham.com/

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Megan Hillukka is a bereaved mother, with 6 children, 5 who are still here. She was 36 weeks pregnant when her daughter Aria, who was 15 months old, died in her sleep. She also experienced PTSD from finding her daughter Aria when she died, and has done the work to find healing in her brain and her life. From this, Megan wants everyone to know that PTSD is not a life sentence, and that healing is possible. Megan encourages and supports grieving mothers that though the worst thing has happened to them, their life is not over

In our conversation we talk about how they explained to their children that their sister had passed away, and making sure they used the best words possible to share, so that the kids themselves would not have fear around falling asleep. We also talk about the mix of emotions as she was saying goodbye to one child and just a few weeks later welcoming their new baby.

Through her experience of the death of her daughter Megan has learned tools and ways of shifting grief so that it can become just a little bit lighter, and easier to live with. Because Megan has done the deep work of grief, made space for her grief and time for her grief, she now has room for joy, laughter, hope, and so much fun in her life. She will never forget her daughter Aria and they talk about her often as a family. She helps her clients carry their grief instead of suffering with grief, and to truly learn how to walk side by side with both grief and joy.

Contact Megan Hillukka: http://www.meganhillukka.com

Her Facebook group is Http://www.facebook.com/groups/cultivatedfamily

Contact Kendra to be a guest or for a coaching session: http://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com

Music: http://www.rinaldisound.com

Logo: http://www.pamelawinningham.com

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Andrea Freemyer, PhD- Self Love Coach, Body Connection Guide , and Breathwork Facilitator. Deeply committed to helping people walk through their shadows and alchemize their pain so that they can embody their light and reclaim their power. She is a self-love coach, body connection guide and Breathwork facilitator.

In her own words “I spent many years of my life as a high-functioning perfectionist and over-achiever. I went through some very painful experiences and did everything I could to avoid feeling through those things. I threw myself into getting an advanced education. I numbed with drugs and alcohol. On the outside, it appeared I was doing all the “right” things, but I was hurting deeply inside. My waking moments were spent in the chaos of my thoughts with my ego as the star of the show. Many people that I loved dearly were also stuck in despair and suffering.

Then on September 16th of 2019, the very foundation of my life crumbled when I discovered my husband had taken his own life in our garage. I didn’t know how I would get through this- each minute, hour and day brought new challenges that I never expected I would face in a lifetime. My heart was literally ripped wide open, leaving me raw and exposed to my new reality. At a time that I could have easily averted back to my old ways of numbing and avoiding, I made the decision to keep my heart open and allow myself to feel through the pain of this trauma and loss. About a month after my husband’s death, Breathwork- an amazingly effective healing modality- found me right where I was when I needed it most. I embraced this work and made it a part of my daily practice. I walked through some of my darkest moments while also developing a deep connection with my body and began to regain self-trust. I felt called to journey much deeper. So, a few months later I decided to become trained as a Breathwork facilitator and I also enrolled in a 10-month 400-hour coaching certification. I wanted to share these amazing gifts with the world! Now I am grateful everyday to be guided by my soul’s calling to help people walk through their shadows and alchemize their pain so they can embody their light and step into their power.”

Listen to the podcast as we talk about all the tools she has used in her own grief journey as well as used them to help her young son as well.

Contact Andrea Freemyer: https://www.andreafreemyer.com/\

Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest or for a coaching session: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/

Music: https://rinaldisound.com/

Logo: https://pamelawinningham.com/

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Pixie Lighhorse is the author of the Prayers of Honoring series, “written to restore bonds between people and nature while healing interior patterning and spiritual/religious trauma. Lighthorse’s books of prayer, boundaries, and greater sources of inner peace and wisdom. She works with themes of restoration of voice, liberation of soul, and vitality of body. Earth and all living things are her inspiration. She is working on a collection of poetry due out later this year. Lighthorse resides in Northern Paiute territory in the Pacific Northwest, and is a member of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma.”

In our conversation we primarily talk about her book Prayers of Honoring Grief and weave in talking about her own experience with grief, as well as how society views grief. She feels it was grief that birthed her into the person she is today.

Contact Pixie Lighthorse or order her books: https://www.pixielighthorse.com/

Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest or for coaching:https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/

Music: https://rinaldisound.com/

Logo: https://pamelawinningham.com/

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Farin Schlussel is the Assistant Director of Marketing for Avery Books and TarcherPerigee, two nonfiction publishing imprints at Penguin Publishing Group (a division of Penguin Random House, LLC). She loves helping readers find the new book that will change their lives and help them think differently.

She shares her grief journey after her father, who she had not spoken to in over 10 years, passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack in 2016. We talk about how she felt this loss acutely even though she hadn’t spoken to him in along time, but also worried about how others were going to view her and judge her grief. Her Jewish traditions she observed for 11 months, was one of the most powerful tools in her grief journey.

Her dog Hershey was also a huge part of her support in her grief journey, he was her companion for 12 years and passed away in 2019. We talk about her grief process after he passed as well as when she found her new dog Penny, who came to her life and helped heal heart. Penny was part of this interview too, as she sat on Farin’s lap throughout our conversation to comfort her.

Farin also shares about her friends who were so understanding and supportive during her mourning period. They stepped up, and curved their lives to help her not be a alone during the 11 months while she was mourning and following the Jewish tradition of aveilut. She does not know what she would have done without them there. Her younger sister, who also lived nearby, was also a big part of her support system because they had a mostly shared experience.

Those 11 months of aveilut helped her come to terms that she did not regret not having a relationship with her father and also that she had a right to grieve as well, because she had a loss, and she could grieve that loss no matter what people thought about her.

Contact Farin Schlussel: http://www.instagram.com/missfarin

Contact Kendra to be a guest or for a coaching session: http://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com

Logo: https://www.pamelawinningham.com

Music: http://www.rinaldisound.com

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Miguel Sancho (a former ABC producer)is the author of MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE: A Rare Disease, A family in Crisis, and the Cutting-Edge Medicine That Cured the Incurable. Listen to this candid and brutally honest conversation about how he and his wife Felicia Morton discovered that their son, Sebastian, had chronic granulomatous disease, CGD a deadly immune deficiency, and their quest to find a cure. We talk about his own personal crisis, primarily dealing with stress, and his search to find ways to navigate it, including meditation, therapy, and medication. In our conversation we also talk about the support system they had along their journey, as well as the growth and learnings that have come from this process.

Miguel Sancho’s Book will be available on March 2nd in all your favorite local or online bookstores. https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/611475/more-than-you-can-handle-by-miguel-sancho/

Contact Kendra Rinaldi if you want to be a guest on the podcast or for a one on one coaching call https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/

Music: https://rinaldisound.com/

Logo design: https://pamelawinningham.com/

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Dave’s wife Sharon was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer shortly after their daughter was born, and she passed away a few short years after, in January 2019.

Liz’ s husband Bryan died suddenly of a heart attack in March 2019, he was only 36 years old. Their daughters were only 7 and 2 when their father died.

We talk about how they met and how they fell in love. How they have supported each other and their girls in this grief process as well as how they keep Shari and Bry’s memory alive in their home. Honoring their memory as well as knowing that they will always love them. They share the tool’s they have used in their grief process, specially helping the girls navigate grief; therapy, as well as Grief Support groups have been a big part.

Listen to their very candid stories of love, loss and finding love again.

Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest or a complimentary coaching session: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/

Logo: https://www.pamelawinningham.com

Music: http://www.rinaldisound.com

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

Dara Kurtz is the creator of the popular blog crazyperfectlife.com, with over 180,000 followers from around the world. After going through breast cancer 6 1/2 years ago, she quit her job as a financial advisor, launched her blog, and wrote her first book Crush Cancer. Her second book just released, I am My Mother’s Daughter: Wisdom on Life, Loss, and Love, It is all about the connection between mothers and daughters, how the loss of her mom impacted her life, and how to be intentional about growing relationships to create a more meaningful life. Dara is a speaker, workshop leader, and coach, and loves sharing her journey to help and inspire others. She lives in Lewisville, North Carolina, with her husband and daughters, loves spending time in nature, and practicing Kundalini yoga.

In this conversation we talk about her grief process the passing of her mom to cancer, which was just a few weeks after Dara gave birth to her first born. She felt very alone during that time with her grief and distraction became the number way of how she handled her grief, which in reality meant not to face it.

Many years later Dara herself was diagnosed with cancer, and it brought up many of the emotions she had not really processed of her mom’s passing. She found a bag of letters that her mom had written to her through the years, and in these letters was all her mom’s wisdom. She felt as if her mom was telling her to just get back into the business of really living! Her book is the collection of these letters, as well as a Legacy Letter which her mom left for her, and which she received from her father after her mom died. We talk about the importance of writing handwritten letters to our loved ones, as this will be a gift they can save and be one of the most precious items.

Here are some of the letters you can write:

1. Just Because Letter

2. Special Occasion letter

3. Legacy Letter: To be given to the recipient when we die.

Connect with Dara Kurtz : http://www.crazyperfectlife.com

Connect with Kendra Rinaldi: http://www.griefgratitudepodcast.com

Logo: http://www.pamelawinningham.com

Music: http://www.rinaldisound.com http://www.oneplanetmusic.com

Production: Carlos Andres Lodnono

Dave received his Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2011 from Pepperdine University, he has been a licensed therapist since 2017. He then worked in community mental health with adults battling homelessness and prolonged substance use. Dave worked with adolescents in residential treatment focusing on substance use and major mental health disorders from 2014-2019. In 2019 he founded Grammer Family Therapy. Dave believes therapy is a process that should be goal oriented, focused on solving the problems the individual is facing, and can be on and off depending on the needs of the individual.

Dave has dedicated his life to service of others in many different forms. He lived in Africa for a year doing volunteer service between high school and college. He co-organized a free open mic night in Los Angeles for several years and has assisted in provided food and clothing to the homeless.

Dave has been heavily involved in the capoeira, an Afro-Brazilian martial art, community in Los Angeles. He has been training for 10 years and teaching for the last 7 years, Dave has taught students from 2yrs old up to 80yrs old.

In our conversation we talk about his grief process after the death of his mother to cancer, as well as how his mom helped him navigate his grief, many years earlier, after the death of his best friend by not letting him stop his life and continue going to school just days after he passed. When Dave’s mother died years later, he did exactly the same thing, he kept his life going. His mantra in life is “when these awful things happen you can’t stop!” Now this does not mean that we don’t grieve, we grieve but we still have to keep moving forward with our grief.

Another topic we talk about is about the importance of having an emotional vocabulary. How this emotional vocabulary has played a part not only as a therapist, but also as his role as a father.

Contact Dave Grammer: https://grammerfamilytherapy.com/

Contact Kendra Rinaldi to be a guest or a complimentary coaching session: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/

Logo: https://www.pamelawinningham.com

Music: http://www.rinaldisound.com

Production: Carlos Andres Londono

En este podcast Fernanda Ruiz comparte su proceso de duelo y todos los cambios que vivió en su matrimonio que llevaron al divorcio.

El matrimonio no terminó por falta de amor, si no por cambios que su esposo empezó a tener en personalidad, que años después descubrieron que era por que tenía cáncer en el cerebro, el cual fue el motivo de su fallecimiento.

Fernanda estuvo a su lado durante su enfermedad y tratamientos, así no estuvieran casados ya. Porque el amor continuaba y él era su familia.

Comparte también su proceso de duelo después del fallecimiento de Ernesto. Ella estaba en una relación cuando él falleció, así que en realidad no empezó a tener ese proceso sino más de un año después de que él falleció.

Un poco más sobre Fernanda Ruiz. Ella tiene más de 10 años de experiencia en servicios de visitas domiciliarias. Le apasiona apoyar a las familias y prevenir el abuso y la negligencia infantil a través de los servicios de visitas domiciliarias. Fernanda tiene una licenciatura en Psicología con concentración en Psicología Clínica de la Universidad de las Américas y una Maestría en Trabajo Social de la Universidad Católica de América. Está certificada por Healthy Families America como capacitadora de la Encuesta de padres para el alcance comunitario y es la capacitadora estatal de todo el Distrito de Columbia.

Fernanda ha estado en el Departamento de Visitas a Domicilio del Mary's Center desde 2006, sirviendo en diferentes capacidades; ahora se desempeña como directora de Healthy Start. Fernanda actualmente dirige los programas Healthy Start, Father Child Attachment y Prince George's Healthy Families America del Departamento de Visitas a Domicilios en Mary's Center.

Fernanda ha facilitado talleres en conferencias y participado en paneles sobre servicios de visitas domiciliarias. En 2019, presentó en la Conferencia de la Asociación Nacional de Comienzo Saludable sobre el “Proyecto de masaje para mamá y bebé: Reducir la depresión perinatal a través de la terapia de masaje”. Además, es co anfitriona de la serie Therapy Thursday del podcast Date and Debate.

Contacta a Fernanda Ruiz: http://www.instagram.com/fernarf

Contacta a Kendra si quieres compartir tu historia en el podcast o si quieres una sesion de coaching complementaria: http://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com

Musica: http://www.rinaldisound.com

Diseño de logo: http://www.pamelawinningham.com

Produccion: Carlos Andres Londoño