Grief Informed Perinatal Care

But grief can exist alongside depression, anxiety, PTSD, PMADs, and other mental health concerns, and sometimes the hardest part for a perinatal professional is knowing when someone needs more.

In this episode, Vallen breaks down five experiences that can occur after pregnancy or infant loss:

• Normal acute grief
• Traumatic grief
• Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders
• PTSD
• Prolonged grief disorder

We also talk about what doulas, nurses, midwives, postpartum professionals, and other non-diagnosing providers should actually watch for, including function, safety, escalation, isolation, duration, and substance use.

And most importantly: how do you refer someone for mental health support without making the referral feel like abandonment?

You'll leave this episode with practical language you can use, a clearer understanding of professional scope, and one simple assignment:

Build your referral list before you need it.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.

Postpartum Support International HelpLine: 1-800-944-4773.

The PSI HelpLine provides support and connection to perinatal mental health resources but is not a crisis line.

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Visit the Evelyn James Shop on Etsy!
• 🧡 Follow us on TikTok!! @pregnancyloss.motherhood

When a baby dies, everyone understands that a family is grieving.

But somewhere in our healthcare system, we often forget something incredibly important:

Someone still gave birth.

Their body is still postpartum. Their hormones still change. Their milk may still come in. Their family still has to figure out how to go home, care for other children, return to work, navigate relationships, and somehow live inside a reality they never expected.

And too often, professional support ends at discharge.

In Episode 97, I'm introducing the next chapter of this podcast, and the reason Pregnancy, Loss and Motherhood has become the Grief-Informed Perinatal Care Podcast.

This isn't simply a podcast about my story anymore.

It's about the practice.

It's about what doulas, nurses, midwives, therapists, newborn care specialists, chaplains, hospital teams, and other perinatal professionals can do differently when grief enters the room.

• Why grief-informed care and trauma-informed care are not the same thing
• The massive gap between hospital bereavement care and what happens after discharge
• Why postpartum care cannot disappear because a baby died
• What it really means to provide family-centered care after pregnancy or infant loss
• Why partners, siblings, grandparents, and the larger family system matter
• The importance of continuity of care from hospital to home
• Why professional grief, secondary trauma, and burnout belong in this conversation
• What my own stillbirth experience taught me about the enormous impact one provider can have
• The difference between providers who avoided my grief and the ones who helped me survive it
• One question every professional should answer before a bereaved family leaves their care

Before the next bereaved family leaves your care, ask:

Who is going to call this family, and when?

Not someone should follow up.

A name.

A date.

A plan.

And if you can't answer that question, you've just found a gap in care that you may have the power to change.

We don't have to completely rebuild the system overnight.

We can start by making the next interaction, the next discharge, the next follow-up, and the next family's experience one step better.

That's where grief-informed care begins.

Coming next:

Episode 98: The Baby Died. The Postpartum Body Didn't.

Episode 99: Her Milk Came In, and Nobody Told Her It Would.

And if you've ever found yourself standing outside a patient's room thinking, I don't know what to say, look for the Ask, Don't Assume resource mentioned in this episode.

Because families shouldn't have to teach us how to care for them while they're surviving the worst day of their lives.

Download Your Free Pocket Card with the questions that should never be assumed!

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Visit the Evelyn James Shop on Etsy!
• 🧡 Follow us on Instagram

What happens after the baby dies, and why does care so often stop when a family leaves the hospital?

Welcome to Grief Informed Perinatal Care, a podcast for doulas, nurses, therapists, birth workers, postpartum professionals, caregivers, and anyone supporting families through pregnancy and infant loss.

I’m Vallen Webb, founder of Evelyn James & Company, and this work is deeply personal and professional for me. In this trailer, I’m sharing why this podcast exists, what grief-informed perinatal care actually means, and why families deserve continuity of care from hospital to home throughout the first year after loss.

We’ll talk honestly about pregnancy and infant loss, grief, trauma, postpartum recovery, maternal mental health, partners, siblings, pregnancy after loss, professional boundaries, provider wellbeing, and the things our systems still aren’t getting right.

Because the baby may have died.

The need for care did not.

• Follow Grief Informed Perinatal Care so you don’t miss what’s coming next.

Episode Summary:

In this episode of The Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast, Vallen explores the complex relationship between grief and joy, particularly in the context of motherhood and loss. She emphasizes that feeling joy does not mean forgetting about a lost child and that grief is a natural response to loss that evolves over time. Vallen shares personal experiences and insights on navigating guilt, shame, and the duality of emotions, encouraging listeners to embrace both grief and joy as part of their healing journey. She also offers practical advice on finding moments of joy amidst grief and highlights the importance of support and community in the healing process.

Takeaways

You are not broken; you are hurting.

Grief and joy can coexist.

Grief doesn't have an expiration date.

It's okay to take a vacation from your grief.

Experiencing joy does not mean forgetting your loss.

Your love for your child does not disappear.

You can find ways to parent beyond the grave.

Grief evolves over time; it doesn't vanish.

Finding meaning in loss is a personal journey.

You are never alone in your grief.

Chapters

00:00 Embracing Grief and Joy

02:05 The Nature of Grief

04:11 Finding Moments of Joy

06:18 The Complexity of Grief

08:17 Navigating Guilt and Shame

10:12 Duality of Emotions

12:27 Creating Meaning from Loss

14:57 Practicing Presence and Joy

17:08 Support and Resources for Healing

What You’ll Hear:

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Visit the Evelyn James Shop on Etsy!
• 🧡 Follow us on TikTok!! @pregnancyloss.motherhood

Episode Title: The In-Between Self: What Grief Teaches You About Who You Are Now

Episode Summary:

In this episode of The Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast, Today I’m sharing three truths that changed me after losing my daughter Evelyn, truths that helped me breathe again, helped me make the choice to keep going, and helped me understand that identity after loss is not about going back—it’s about becoming.

In this episode, we explore:

• How motherhood doesn’t begin or end with a heartbeat
• Why your identity feels shattered after loss
• The quiet, invisible, misunderstood reality of life after baby loss
• The power of narrative (and how trauma forces us to rewrite our story)
• Why you're not broken—you’re becoming someone new
• How grief shapes you, but does not define you

This is for you if you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” or if guilt, softness, anger, jealousy, or numbness has made you question who you’re becoming after your baby died.

Take a breath with me. You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You just have to be here.

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Visit the Evelyn James Shop on Etsy!
• 🧡 Follow us on TikTok!! @pregnancyloss.motherhood

Episode Title: Navigating Grief and Self-Discovery with Melissa Crook

Episode Summary:

In this episode of the Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood podcast, Melissa Crook shares her journey of healing and self-discovery after experiencing a miscarriage and navigating the complexities of motherhood. She emphasizes the importance of prioritizing self-care, understanding grief, and breaking free from codependency. Melissa provides practical steps for women to embrace their emotions, set boundaries, and recognize self-abandonment in their daily lives. Through her framework, she encourages women to acknowledge their worth and make choices that align with their true selves.

What You’ll Hear:

• You are worth all the love and care you give yourself.
• Loss and grief are valid experiences, regardless of circumstances.
• It's essential to prioritize your wellness and not abandon yourself.
• Curiosity can replace judgment in understanding emotions.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for self-care and mental health.
• Self-abandonment often occurs in daily choices and responsibilities.
• Women often minimize their grief compared to others' experiences.
• Emotions should be acknowledged without judgment or stigma.
• You can choose how to respond to difficult situations.
• It's important to create a supportive community for healing.

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Join our grief + growth newsletter: Here
• 🎙️ Listen to more episodes: On Spotify or other favorite podcast platform!
• 🧡 Visit the Evelyn James Shop: https://evelynjames.shop

Thanks to our partnership with IMBODHI, my Favorite Mom Outfit, Join the adult onesie club! I promise you won't go back! Imbodhi is the most amazing brand out their for unique, colorful, ethically sourced and comfy materials. Get $15.00 off using my code! The mom outfit you don't want to miss out on! https://www.imbodhi.co/VALLEN31986

Connect with Me:

Instagram → @evelynjamesandco

Shop & Resource Hub → https://evelynjames.shop

Connect With Melissa

FEEL Freebie

Learn all about Melissa

Episode Summary

In this episode of the Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood podcast, Vallen Webb reflects on the emotional journey of pregnancy loss, exploring the signs and symbols that can connect bereaved parents to their lost children. She discusses the concept of continuing bonds, the role of spirituality in grief, and how signs from beyond can provide comfort and healing. Vallen encourages listeners to embrace the mystery of these experiences and to share their own stories of connection

What You’ll Hear:

• Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month can feel overwhelming.
• Signs from lost children can manifest in various forms.
• Continuing bonds are a healthy part of the grieving process.
• Grief can lead to spiritual questioning and exploration.
• You don't need a specific belief system to experience spiritual connections.
• Signs are not proof but can provide comfort.
• It's okay if you don't notice signs; connection exists in many forms.
• Invite mystery into your grief journey.
• Sharing experiences can foster community and healing.
• Journaling can help process feelings and connections with lost children.

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Join our grief + growth newsletter: Here
• 🎙️ Listen to more episodes: On Spotify or other favorite podcast platform!
• 🧡 Visit the Evelyn James Shop: https://evelynjames.shop

Thanks to our partnership with IMBODHI, my Favorite Mom Outfit. Join the adult onesie club! I promise you won't go back! Imbodhi is the most amazing brand out there for unique, colorful, ethically sourced, and comfy materials. Get $15.00 off using my code! The mom outfit you don't want to miss out on! https://www.imbodhi.co/VALLEN31986

Connect with Me:

Instagram → @evelynjamesandco

Shop & Resource Hub → https://evelynjames.shop

Invisible String ( kids grief book)

“What’s one moment that felt like a sign, symbol, or connection with my baby?”

You don’t have to explain it. Just write what came up. What did it feel like in your body? What do you hope it meant?

Episode Title: Self-Worth, Grief, and the Courage to Create: A Conversation with Deborah Weed

Episode Summary:

What does it truly mean to know your worth? And how does that change when you’re walking through grief?

In this deeply moving episode of the Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast, host Vallen Webb welcomes guest Deborah Weed, founder of the Self-Worth Initiative and author of Paisley’s Last Quill and The Luckiest Penny. Together, they explore what self-worth really is, how family dynamics shape it, and why many of us confuse self-worth with self-esteem.

Deborah shares her powerful journey of overcoming illness, creative rediscovery, and the inspiration behind her books and upcoming Broadway-style musical. Through stories of resilience, creativity, and personal loss, she offers listeners heartfelt lessons on reclaiming power, finding healing through creativity, and embracing both grief and joy at the same time.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• The difference between self-esteem and self-worth (and why it matters)
• How childhood and parental relationships shape the way we see ourselves
• Deborah’s story of illness, loss, and rediscovering her voice through creativity
• Tools for navigating grief in all its forms—whether loss of a loved one, a relationship, or even a dream
• The healing power of creativity, joy, and duality (wailing and wonder at the same time)

This conversation is a reminder that you are inherently valuable, no matter what you’ve been through—and that even in grief, creativity and love can bring you back to yourself.

🌐 Learn more about Deborah’s work: paisleysfashionforest.com,

selfworthinitiative.net,

The Luckiest Penny, By Deborah Weed

Paisley's Last Quill, By Deborah Weed

If Only, By Deborah Weed

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Join our grief + growth newsletter: Here
• 🎙️ Listen to more episodes: On Spotify or other favorite podcast platform!
• 🧡 Visit the Evelyn James Shop: https://evelynjames.shop

Thanks to our partnership with IMBODHI, my Favorite Mom Outfit, Join the adult onesie club! I promise you won't go back! Imbodhi is the most amazing brand out their for unique, colorful, ethically sourced and comfy materials. Get $15.00 off using my code! The mom outfit you don't want to miss out on! https://www.imbodhi.co/VALLEN31986

Connect with Me:

Instagram → @evelynjamesandco

Shop & Resource Hub → https://evelynjames.shop

Episode Title: Opening the Urn: Stillbirth, Cremation Ashes & the Grieving Brain

Episode Summary:

In this episode of The Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast, Vallen Webb shares her personal journey through grief after the stillbirth of her daughter, Evelyn. She discusses the emotional experience of receiving her daughter's ashes, the challenges of navigating grief with her living children, and the importance of remembrance through art. Vallen also explores the science of grief, referencing the book 'The Grieving Brain' and how the brain processes loss. Throughout the conversation, she emphasizes the universal nature of grief and the need for community support.

What You’ll Hear:

• Grief is a deeply personal and universal experience.
• Receiving ashes can be a traumatic and emotional moment.
• It's important to include living children in the grieving process.
• Art can serve as a powerful tool for remembrance.
• Understanding the grieving brain can aid in coping with loss.
• Grieving is a learning process that takes time.
• Communicating with children about loss is crucial.
• The brain struggles to adapt to the absence of a loved one.
• Community support is vital during times of grief.
• Grief can manifest in various ways and is not linear.

Links + Resources:

• 🧡The Grieving Brain By Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD
• 💌 Join our grief + growth newsletter: Here
• 🎙️ Listen to more episodes: On Spotify or other favorite podcast platform!
• 🧡 Visit the Evelyn James Shop: https://evelynjames.shop

Thanks to our partnership with IMBODHI, my Favorite Mom Outfit, Join the adult onesie club! I promise you won't go back! Imbodhi is the most amazing brand out there for unique, colorful, ethically sourced, and comfy materials. Get $15.00 off using my code! The mom outfit you don't want to miss out on! https://www.imbodhi.co/VALLEN31986

Connect with Me:

Instagram → @evelynjamesandco

Shop & Resource Hub → https://evelynjames.shop

Episode Title: Navigating Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month: Finding Your Own Way Through Grief

Episode Summary:

In this heartfelt episode of the Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast, host Vallen Webb opens up about what Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month means to her as a loss mom six years after saying goodbye to her daughter, Evelyn, who was stillborn at 40 weeks and 5 days.

Vallen explores the many ways families experience this month—some feeling overwhelmed by constant reminders, others finding connection and empowerment in sharing their stories. She offers gentle, practical tools for navigating the first days of October, including:

• How to use social media intentionally and protect your mental health
• Ways to incorporate your baby into everyday life and family traditions
• The importance of taking a “vacation from grief” when needed
• Advocacy reminders about the stillbirth crisis and why awareness matters

Whether this is your first October or your twentieth, this episode is a safe space to feel seen, supported, and reminded that there is no “right” way to grieve. You’ll hear Vallen’s personal reflections, family traditions, and even the little ways her living children keep Evelyn’s memory alive.

If you are walking this road of loss, know that your story matters. Your baby matters. And you are not alone.

Resources I mentioned In Episode:

Healing Your Grieving Heart After Stillbirth: 100 Practical Ideas for Parents and Families.

Links + Resources:

• 💌 Join our grief + growth newsletter: Here
• 🎙️ Listen to more episodes: On Spotify or other favorite podcast platform!
• 🧡 Visit the Evelyn James Shop: https://evelynjames.shop

Thanks to our partnership with IMBODHI, my Favorite Mom Outfit, Join the adult onesie club! I promise you won't go back! Imbodhi is the most amazing brand out their for unique, colorful, ethically sourced and comfy materials. Get $15.00 off using my code! The mom outfit you don't want to miss out on! https://www.imbodhi.co/VALLEN31986

Connect with Me:

Instagram → @evelynjamesandco

Shop & Resource Hub → https://evelynjames.shop