Grief Relief for Christian Women | Widow, Support, Connection, Loss of Spouse, Joy, Grief and Trauma

Episode 12: Celebrating Anniversaries With Faith, Hope, and Healing

Do birthdays, wedding anniversaries, holidays, and heavenly anniversaries make your heart ache a little more?

You're not alone.

In this heartfelt episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women, Patty shares personal stories about her parents' nearly 67-year marriage, her dad's love of celebrating anniversaries, and how those special dates changed after loss. She also shares funny and touching memories of Ralph, including the anniversary they both completely forgot and the creative way he tried to convince her he had planned it all along.

Together, we'll talk about why anniversary dates can trigger grief, anxiety, dread, and even guilt—and why every one of those emotions is completely normal.

In this episode, you'll discover:

❤️ Why your heart remembers because love remembers

❤️ How anticipation is often harder than the actual day

❤️ Practical ways to prepare for difficult dates without putting pressure on yourself

❤️ How to honor your loved one while continuing to live the life God has called you to live

❤️ Why there is no "right way" to grieve anniversaries

❤️ How faith, gratitude, and grace can help carry you through special dates

Whether you're facing a birthday, wedding anniversary, holiday, or the anniversary of your loved one's passing, this episode will remind you that grief and love are forever connected—and that God walks beside you through both.

You'll leave encouraged, understood, and reminded that you can miss someone deeply while still living beautifully.

Scripture: Psalm 34:18

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Grab a cup of coffee, a box of tissues if you need them, and join us for a conversation about celebrating anniversaries with faith, hope, healing, and gratitude for the memories that never leave our hearts.

Grief, Grace and Gratitude

🎙️ FULL EPISODE SCRIPT

INTRO

Hey Ya'll. Welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women, where we talk about faith, healing, and all the things nobody warned us about—like how grief can turn a normal trip to H-E-B into a full-blown emotional meltdown in Isle 9. Yes, I've been there--did that!

I’m your host, Patty Jackson, and today we’re diving into three little words that sound sweet enough to put on a farmhouse sign but powerful enough to change your healing journey: Grief, Grace, and Gratitude.

But before we dig in, let’s start with prayer.

OPENING PRAYER

“Father God, we come to You today with hearts that are tender, tired, and maybe a little worn out. You see our tears, You know our pain, and You love us right through it.

We ask for Your grace to steady us, Your peace to fill us, and Your mercy to remind us we don’t have to have it all together--not yesterday, today or even tomorrow. Lord, show us the little glimmers of gratitude!

Bless every woman listening. Wrap her in Your comfort and remind her she’s not walking alone. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

SEGMENT 1: GRIEF — THE UNINVITED HOUSEGUEST

Alright, let’s talk about grief—that uninvited houseguest who shows up unannounced, eats all your snacks, and refuses to leave.

Grief is messy.

And if you’re anything like me, you may have thought, “Okay, surely this is supposed to get easier by now. Spoiler alert: it really does. Trust me on this!

But here’s the truth I learned the hard way…

Which brings us to our next part…

SEGMENT 2: GRACE — GOD’S GIFT FOR THE DAYS WE CAN’T EVEN

Grace is God’s way of saying,

Grace is what whispers,

Grace reminds us that Jesus never once said,

Grace shows up when we’ve used up all our patience, all our coping skills, and all your emergency food. I had to quit having "emergency food in my house, like Ice Cream, Chocolate, and wine, because when the emergency came, that stuff was already gone.

And listen—grace is not only what God gives you, but what you must learn to give yourself.

Maybe today grace looks like:

Taking a nap instead of pretending you’re fine

Grace meets you where you are—not where you think you “should be.”

SEGMENT 3: GRATITUDE — THE TINY LIGHTS IN A DARK ROOM

Now… let’s talk about gratitude.  

Gratitude in grief isn’t about pretending everything’s fine.

Sometimes gratitude looks like:

A good hair day when you needed it

Every tiny thank-you is worship.

Because gratitude doesn’t erase grief—

"When people hear the word gratitude, they think I'm supposed to be grateful for losing Ralph. Not a chance. I would give anything to have one more conversation with him. That's not what gratitude means.

Gratitude means I'm thankful for the years we had. I'm thankful for the love we shared. I'm thankful for the people God sent to help me survive after he was gone. I'm thankful that somehow, through all the tears, God took my greatest pain and turned it into a ministry that helps women all over the world.

Some days my gratitude is deep and spiritual. Other days it's, 'Thank You, Lord, that I only had to do my makeup once today"

🌸 These are Things I'm Grateful For Even While Grieving

I want to explain gratitude — and I want to say this carefully, because gratitude is not the same as pretending everything is fine. Gratitude is not faking it until you make it. It is not dismissing your pain. Gratitude in grief is one of the most powerful, spiritually defiant acts you can do. It is saying to the enemy, "You took something from me, but you did not take everything." It is saying to God, "I still see you in here--in my heart."

So here are some of the things I have become deeply, fiercely grateful for on this side of loss — things I might have taken for granted before.

I am grateful for the years, the memories, and the moments I actually had. Loss has a way of sharpening your appreciation for what was given. I really don't want to spend so much time grieving what I lost that I forget to be thankful for what I had. Not everyone gets what I had. And that is a gift.

I am grateful for the people grief revealed — the ones who showed up and keep showing up.  I know who they are, and they know who they are, and I do not take them for granted. Grief has a way of making you ruthlessly grateful for the right people.

I am grateful for the woman I am becoming through this. I did not ask for this season. I would not have chosen it. But I can see — even on the hard days — that something is being built in me. Strength. Compassion. Faith. The kind of faith that doesn't just believe in God when life is good. The kind that believes him when it's not. That is a version of yourself worth being grateful for.

And I am grateful, genuinely, for the small graces. The morning that I woke up and actually felt okay. The song that came on at the exact right moment. The friend who texted out of nowhere. The sunrise or sunset that I almost didn't stop to look at. God is in those moments. He is leaving little love notes everywhere!

Here’s where the magic happens…

They are not separate chapters.

Some days your grief is loud.

It’s messy.

SEGMENT 5: PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS FOR THE WEEK

Here are three things to try this week, ya'll:

1. Name your grief moment each day.

Just acknowledge it: Write it down--whatever your grief is at that moment, because I promise you, when you read it later--say next year, you will see how far you have come.

2. Practice one act of grace toward yourself.

Rest, soften, breathe, slow down. Just give yourself grace.

3. Write down one tiny gratitude.

Doesn’t matter how small because small stack up!

As for me, I start every morning with "Thank you, God, for giving me another sunrise, and don't let me waste it today."

Your journey matters.

And you are doing better than you think you are.  If you are listening to this podcast, you are trying, and that's all you can ask for. Give yourself grace.

God hasn’t left you for one single second—

Thank you for spending this time with me today. We heal together. We rise together. And yes, we laugh together too.

Until next time, may grief be gentle, grace be abundant, and gratitude show up right when you need it.

Joy Without Grief — Joy Hunting

In this powerful and joy-restoring episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women, we explore what it really looks like to experience joy again after loss — not the fake smile, “I’m fine,” forced kind of joy, but the gentle, God-given kind that grows quietly in the cracks of a broken heart.

I’m introducing you to practice Joy Hunting — the intentional act of noticing, receiving, and welcoming joy back into your life, even while grief is still present. Because, ya'll, joy doesn’t show up like a package on your doorstep. After loss, joy becomes something you look for, choose, and allow. And yes… It’s absolutely worth giving it a shot.

Through personal stories, spiritual insight, and real-life encouragement, we’ll talk about:

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’ll feel light again, laugh again, or even recognize yourself again — this episode will speak straight to your soul.

Grab your journal, or your Notes app on your phone, take a breath, and join me as we learn how to hunt for joy in a season that tried to steal it. Jesus is still writing your story… and joy is still part of it.

In this episode, Patty invites you to walk beside her as she compares two kinds of healing: physical recovery from rotator cuff surgery and the emotional journey of grief. Physical pain is sharp, located, and with a clear treatment plan—grief pain, by contrast, is invisible and relentless, surfacing in moments, memories, and quiet nights. She breaks down:

Patty also shares a personal snapshot: six months into her physical healing and eight years into her grief journey. Her message is clear and hopeful: you’re not alone, and healing is possible—even on days it doesn’t feel like it.

If you’re a widow or a Christian woman walking through loss, this episode offers compassionate encouragement, practical reflections, and a reminder that healing happens at the speed of love—and the speed of God.

Podcast Episode: “Mother’s Day, and Missing My Mama”

Hey ya'll, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women. I’m Patty, and today…We are talking about Mother's Day and missing my momma. Mother’s Day holds a whole lot of beauty and a whole lot of ache at the same time.

And this year marks two years since my sweet mama went home to be with Jesus.

Let me pray for you.

“Father, for every woman listening who is missing her mom this Mother’s Day, would You wrap her in Your gentle comfort? Remind her she is not alone. Remind her that grief is a sign of great love. Hold her heart the way only You can. Restore her strength. Give her peace. And let her feel her mama’s love lingering in every treasured memory. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

If Mother’s Day feels tender for you — if it feels complicated, or lonely, or even a little unfair — sister, pull up a chair. You’re in the right place.

Mother’s Day can be beautiful. But Mother’s Day can also be brutal.

Social media turns into a giant Hallmark commercial. Restaurants fill up with families in coordinated outfits. Florists get a workout. Churches hand out roses.

And for those of us whose mamas aren’t here anymore… it can feel like the whole world is celebrating something we’ve lost.

Two years ago, on May 13th, my world changed. My mama stepped into eternity, and even though I know exactly where she is — healed, whole, and with Jesus — I still miss her voice, her laugh, her hugs!

Grief doesn’t erase love.

When I think about my mom, the first things that come to mind are her love for Jesus and her strength. That woman could’ve moved mountains with just a prayer...and she did move a lot of mountains in her lifetime here on earth. She loved everyone, prayed hard, and taught me what resilience looks like when life tries to bring you down. I don't know how I would have gotten through the grief I experienced after Ralph died, without my momma's faith and encouragement.

I know many of you have experienced the same thing. Losing your mama feels like becoming a different version of yourself overnight — a version you didn’t ask to be. I remember someone telling me once that she felt like an orphan after her mom had passed away. That is what I felt like the day my mom died. My mom was the strongest connection I had to Jesus and myself. My mom's last Mother's Day was May 12th, 2024. She was very sick, but she was alert enough to know that all of her family was there celebrating her for Mother's Day. My dad gave her a beautiful bouquet of flowers as he always did, and sat by her bed and whispered to her (and I can still see this picture vividly in my head), he told her that he loves her and will miss her for the rest of his life, but that it was OK if she needed to go home to meet Jesus. He told her he would see her when he gets to Heaven.  We didn't know it then, but it was only 2 short months later that my dad went home to see her and Jesus. They are together forever. 

But here’s what I’ve learned in these two years:

Grief doesn’t just take — it gives. It gives perspective. It gives depth. It gives a new kind of wisdom that only comes from loss.

And I like to think my mama would be proud of how I’ve used my pain to help others heal.

This Mother's Day, I spent the entire day with my son, Ryan. We went to a Mineral Spa that is about an hour away from where we live, so we talked all the way there, and talked and talked more while at the spa. We talked about my mom (his momo) and how we both miss her so much. I had the best time with him and am so grateful that he wants to spend all day on Mother's Day with his mom! I love being his mom, and I am blessed to have Ryan!  I love that I have so many memories of my mom, and I am blessed that she is my momma!

Here are a few things that have helped me, whether it be on Mother's day or really any day of your life.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel

There is no right way to grieve on Mother’s Day or any other day. Cry if you need to. Laugh if you can. Stay home. Go out. Buy flowers. Don’t buy flowers. There’s no gold star for doing this “right" so do what feels right to you in that moment. Because we know that moment's feeling changes quickly. 

2. Remember Her — Your Way

You don’t have to make a big production. Maybe it’s:

Cooking her favorite food

3. Let Yourself Be Loved

This one might be hard for some.  Let people check on you. Let someone bring you coffee. Let someone pray for you. Let someone hug you! Every Mother's Day, my brother-in-law texts me to tell me Happy Mother's Day. I love this tradition they have, and I love them. 

Remember, you are not a burden — you are a blessing.

4. Invite God Into the Day

When you feel that "I miss my momma" ache, whisper this:

God meets us in the empty places.

But here’s some comfort thoughts:

Love doesn’t end.

Until then, we honor their lives by living ours with courage, faith, humor, and the kind of stubborn hope only Jesus can give.

Thank you for spending this Mother's Day episode with me. If today’s episode helped you, share it with someone who might need it. You never know whose heart you’ll help.

With love,

Have you ever had one of those quiet moments…

💛 INTRO

🙏 PRAYER

🧠 MAIN TEACHING

Let me tell you how my very first “reimagining my future” went. Remember back in Episode 6 when I told you I discovered I didn’t actually want the barn house and land Ralph and I bought together… so I sold it? Well, the next step in that journey was trying to reimagine where I wanted to live next. I was still working at the time, and I loved my job, so I needed to stay in the area, but where and in what? Rent or buy? House or condo?  I couldn't make up my mind, nor was I in the mood to figure it out. Oh, btw, the ability to make any decisions at all, let alone life-changing decisions, at this point in my grief, was gone. I couldn't make a decision for my life!

But here’s the thing: by the time the house closed and the new owners moved in, I had absolutely zero idea what came next.

So I sat down with my son — Ryan — and shared this wild little idea I had:

“What if I used the money from selling the house to buy a run-down place… and flip it?”

Now, Ryan had to be involved because he has a degree in architecture, works with contractors every day, and has basically been in the building industry since birth — his dad was a licensed plumber, so that boy grew up with blueprints in one hand and tools in the other.

I imagined we’d find a cute little fixer-upper that just needed some cosmetic updates… paint, floors, maybe a new kitchen faucet — you know, EASY stuff. We’d flip it, make a little money, and move on.

Well… I didn’t imagine big enough. But God did. He already knew the plan.

Ryan ended up becoming the general contractor for our first flip. And let me just say — the house we bought wasn’t just “run-down.” It was unlivable. He had to level the foundation — and if you know anything about remodeling, you KNOW you pray there are no foundation issues. Well… this house missed that memo.

Then he tore it down to the studs, added on another 1,200 square feet, and between the permit delays, scheduling issues, and then COVID hitting… what should’ve taken six months turned into a year and a half and WAY over budget.

Finally — FINALLY — it was finished. And we put that baby on the market in the middle of the wildest real estate market Austin, Texas had ever seen. It sold in two days… for 3 times more than what we bought it for.

Can you imagine?! I couldn’t. But God? He is so good y'all!!

Webster defines “reimagine” as forming a new, creative, or different conception of something — thinking about something in a fresh way to improve or adapt it for a new season.

And that’s exactly what happened in that one conversation with my son. I reimagined everything — my finances, my living situation, my relationship with Ryan, even my relationship with my parents… because I ended up moving in with them for four months until I found my house.

✨ When Hope Feels Uncomfortable

💛 You Carry Love Forward

🌱 What Reimagining Actually Looks Like

Stepping into purpose. This might be the biggest one. At some point, you start asking: What has this season grown in me? What do I now carry that someone else desperately needs? Your grief story is not the end. It might be the very thing God uses to reach someone else who is right where you were.

🛠️ YOUR ONE GENTLE STEP

💛 OUTRO

Before you go, can I ask a favor of you? If this encouraged you, share it. Text it to a friend. Post it in a Facebook group. message someone you know who has been quietly wondering if there's anything ahead for her.

Second R: REDISCOVER

🎙️ EPISODE: REDISCOVER

This is the season where you don't rush, but you reintroduce yourself to the woman God is shaping you into. Think of it like meeting yourself again...but this time, with more wisdom, more grace, and way less tolerance for nonsense.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking…

“I’m still me… but life doesn’t feel the same?”

Like something has shifted…Not just around you…but inside you?

This is where rediscovery begins.

💛 INTRO

Hi y’all, welcome back to Grief Relief for Christian Women.

Rediscover.

This one might surprise you, 

Because rediscovery isn’t always about finding yourself--or rediscovering yourself.

Sometimes… It’s about reconnecting with what matters now.

Let’s pray.

🙏 PRAYER

“Lord, help her see herself clearly.

Not through grief alone… but through Your eyes.

Show her what still matters… and what she can gently release.

Guide her as she rediscovers life in this new season.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

🧠 MAIN TEACHING

Now listen--this is important:

You didn’t lose yourself. 

But life around you has changed. THAT'S THE MOMENT YOU REALIZE YOU’RE NOT THE SAME!

And when life changes… priorities shift.

I remember thinking…

“What do I want this next season of my life to look like?”

Not because I didn’t know who I was…

But because what mattered to me started to feel different.

I slowed down.

I let go of things that didn’t feel important anymore.

And I leaned into things that brought peace… and meaning.  I discovered how important my family and my friends are to me. They have always been important, but let's be honest, life gets in the way, and I needed to reconnect with a lot of these people. These are people that I've known all my life, and when I needed them, sometimes, just to sit and let me cry, they were there and still are. The ones that can't handle that, well, they probably weren't that important to you in the first place. This grief journey is a way of cleaning out the closets and drawers of unimportant stuff--or things that no longer fit and that is the same with people in your life. Rediscover and Declutter! :)

I started reading the Bible more--I was searching for answers from God, but I was also trying to discover what was next.

That’s when I started asking:

“What does this season look like for me?”

It’s about alignment.

What matters now?

Speaking of letting go of...well, you might also discover things that you don't like in this process. Like me! I discovered I didn't want our house any longer. Ralph and I bought our house on 6.2 acres out in the country. This was in 2003, before we got married, but we did get married in that backyard less than a year later. This was our dream home. It looked like a barn (a barndominium), some called it, and not perfect for just any family, but it was perfect for us.  It had only one large open room upstairs, which was our bedroom, a guest bed, an office, and a bathroom with 2 very small closets. God built this house for us, and I think that's why it hadn't sold until we found it! We had chickens, goats, pigeons, and horses, not all at the same time, but at different times for the 15 years that we lived there. Of course, we had our dogs and cats, which had been laid to rest on that land, and oh so many memories in that house! I thought I couldn't bear ever to get rid of it--but I also thought I couldn't bear to live there without Ralph. That was our dream, not just mine alone.

💬 Change happens after you lose your husband! Whether you like it or not, or are ready for it or not, it's all part of the journey. I will say that some changes are easier than others, and some turn out better than others.

Even if life feels unfamiliar…

You are still you--just a different you--walking through a different season.

When Ralph died, I remember thinking:

And that’s honest. Loss doesn’t just take the person you love… it takes the version of you that lived that life with them.

WHAT REDISCOVERY LOOKED LIKE FOR ME

Let me share what I actually did — the practical, real-life steps God led me through.

I let myself fall apart… on purpose.

Rediscovering yourself is not replacing what you had.

It’s uncovering the woman God already saw… the one who could walk through fire and still shine.

So here’s your reminder today:

💛 You are not lost.

This week, ask yourself one question:

“What feels important to me right now?”

Write it down.

Don’t overthink it.

Just notice what comes up.

That’s where rediscovery begins.

You can revisit old interests: Loss sometimes makes us forget what we used to love.

Try something completely new: A pottery class? Painting? Dancing? New experiences spark new versions of you.

Create Your Own Boundaries list:

Start a "What I Want Now" list: This is powerful, and it can be added to along your journey as you discover more about you:

Explore Your Strengths. Loss stretches you in ways you never asked for...but look at the strengths you've gained: 

Refresh your environment: A small change says, "A new season is beginning."

Go visit a friend who makes you belly-laugh!

Girl, sometimes rediscovery feels like resurrection!

💛 OUTRO

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who may be trying to figure out what matters now, too.

Next time… we’re talking about Reimagine—and how to begin seeing a future again.

Until then…

Be gentle with your heart.

You are not lost.

You are rediscovering.

If you want to go deeper, I made you a Rediscover Yourself After Loss Worksheet.

You can download it from the Show notes.

And as always — I love you, I’m praying for you, and God’s not done with your story.

Download here: REDISCOVER YOURSELF AFTER LOSS

What does life look like after everything has changed?

In this episode, Patty Jackson introduces the first of the 3 R’s—Rebuild—and gently explores what it means to keep living in a world that feels quieter, different, and unfamiliar after loss.

Through real-life stories and honest reflection, Patty shares how rebuilding isn’t about starting over—it’s about learning how to live in the life that remains, one small step at a time, with God walking beside you in every moment.

Download: Rebuilding After Loss — What It Actually Looks Like

Grief Relief for Christian Women

In today’s episode, Patty shares a deeply personal and faith-centered approach to navigating grief through what she calls The 3 R’s: Rebuild, Rediscover, and Reimagine.

Grief doesn’t always look like losing your identity. Sometimes, it’s learning how to move forward in a life that feels unfamiliar… quieter… and different.

If you’ve ever wondered, “How do I move forward without him here?” — this episode will meet you right where you are.

Episode Title:

Description:

When someone loses their spouse, friends and family often want to help… but they don’t always know how.

In this episode of Grief Relief for Christian Women, Patty shares practical and heartfelt ways people can truly support a widow during the grief journey.

If you are a widow, this episode may help you feel seen and understood. And if you have someone in your life who is grieving the loss of a spouse, this conversation can help you learn how to walk beside them with compassion and care.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why simply showing up matters more than perfect words

Grief can feel lonely, but no widow should have to walk through it alone.

💛 Before you go… one small favor from me to you

Come hang out with me at in our Facebook group for more encouragement and support with women that Get It:  https://www.facebook.com/share/g/186WA2iEF2/

If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or made you feel a little less alone, would you take a quick moment to leave a 5-star review? It helps other women who are hurting find this podcast when they need it most.

And if someone popped into your mind while you were listening—please share this episode with her. It might be exactly what her heart needs today.

Thank you for being here. It truly means more than you know. 💛