Is infidelity really about sex - or is it a symptom of something much deeper?

When we hear the word infidelity, most of us immediately think betrayal, broken trust, and relationship-ending behaviour. But what if the affair wasn’t actually the beginning of the story? What if it was the final expression of patterns that had been quietly forming long before anyone crossed the line?

In this thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Psychotherapist and Author Chad Taylor to explore the psychology behind infidelity through a completely different lens. Together, we unpack why cheating is often less about the other person and more about our relationship with ourselves.

This episode is not about excusing infidelity or minimising the pain it causes. Accountability always maters. Instead, its about understanding the unconscious patterns, unmet needs and emotional disconnection that can drive behaviours we later regret - and why genuine healing requires far more than simply changing partners.

Whether you’ve experienced betrayal, are rebuilding trust, or simply want to better understand human behaviour and relationships, this conversation offers powerful insights into self-awareness, emotional responsibility and lasting personal growth.

Key takeaways

• Why infidelity is often a symptom of deeper emotional disconnection rather than simply a moral failure

•  How unconscious patterns, unmet emotional needs and validation seeking share our relationships
• The subtle forms of infidelity that often begin long before a physical affair
• Why self-awareness, accountability and emotional responsibility are essential for breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
• What it actually takes for a relationship to recover after betrayal
• Practical ways to strengthen connection and prevent emotional distance from growing over time

Timestamps

• 00:00 - Why we need to look beyond behaviour or infidelity

• 05:20 - The psychology of disconnection, unmet needs and unconscious patterns

• 13:10 - Emotional affairs, micro-infidelities and the behaviours we often overlook

• 23:05 - Accountability vs avoidance: Can people really change after betrayal?

• 30:00 - Can relationships recover after infidelity? What rebuilding trust actually requires

• 38:20 - Chad’s approach to developing self-awareness through ongoing personal growth

If this episode resonated with you, I’d love it if you shared it with someone who might need to hear it. And don’t forget to follow Grow As I Go on Spotify or Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episode.

Connect with Chad Taylor

If you’d like to learn more about Chad’s work, you can find his newly released book ‘It’s You. Oh F*ck. It’s Me’ on Amazon.

Chad also hosts his own podcast, where he explores relationships, self-awareness and the unconscious patterns that shape our lies and runs a weekly online therapy group designed to help people develop greater self-awareness in a safe supportive environment. @chadtaylor.itsyou

In this episode, we explore the idea of emotional walls - the invisible coping mechanisms we build after difficult experiences, and how they can quietly shape our relationships, reactions and sense of self long after the original pain has passed.

You might feel 'fine' about something, until suddenly you're not. You might overreact, shut down, become overly busy, over controlling, or withdraw completely - without really understanding why.

This episode unpacks the psychology behind those responses and brings awareness to the patterns we often mistake for personality traits, when in reality they are learned emotional protection strategies.

If you've ever wondered;

- Why do I shut down in conflict?

- Why do I get so defensive or overwhelmed so quickly?

- Why do I avoid difficult conversations or emotions?

- Why do I overthink, people-please, or stay constantly busy?

This conversation will help you start to understand the why behind the behaviour.

Key Takeaways

• Emotional reactions are often rooted in past experiences, not present situations
• Emotional walls are protective coping mechanisms, not personality flaws
• Unprocessed emotions don't disappear - they show up as behaviours
• Common behaviours like busyness or control, or ''I'm fine'' are emotional strategies
• You can not selectively numb emotion
• Self-awareness is the key to emotional growth and change
• Awareness creates choice - not pressure to immediately change

Timestamps

• 00:43 - Introduction - Why we're talking about emotional walls
• 01:13 - What emotional walls actually are
• 02:24 - How emotional walls are formed (childhood, trauma and lived experience)
• 07:08 - Common emotional wall behaviours we don't recognise
• 12:30 - The hidden cost of emotional suppression and avoidance
• 17:31 - Self-awareness, emotional triggers and accountability
• 20:17 - The mirror exercise: understanding emotional patterns
• 22:14 - Closing message: You are not your coping mechanisms

Brenee Brown TED Talk

https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o?si=pq3toXzZYzMbfrlH

Connect with Grow As I Go

Follow the show on Instagram @growasigopodcast and wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Are you actually happy?

It’s a simple question that often has a surprisingly complicated answer.

In this episode of Grow As I Go, Amy invites you to step off the treadmill of daily life and complete a personal Happiness Audit - a practical self-reflection exercise designed to help you assess the areas of your life that most influence your wellbeing, fulfillment, and overall happiness.

Rather than chasing happiness as a destination, this episode explores how happiness is something we nurture, revisit, and intentionally create throughout different seasons of life.

Together, we’ll explore five key areas that research and lived experience suggest have a significant impact on happiness.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, stuck on autopilot, overwhelmed by responsibilities, or simply curious about how you’re really doing, this episode is your invitation to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most.

Key Takeaways

• Happiness is not a permanent state: Happiness isn't something we achieve once and keep forever. It requires ongoing attention, reflection, and nurturing throughout different seasons of life.
• Relationship are one of the strongest predictors of happiness: Meaningful connection matters more than wealth, status, or achievement. Investing in the people who energise and support you can significantly improve wellbeing.
• What feels like a happiness problem may actually be an energy problem: Poor sleep, stress, unhealthy habits, and exhaustion can dramatically impact mood, perspective, and enjoyment of life.
• Purpose doesn't have to be grand: purpose isn't necessarily changing the world. It's having something meaningful that aligns with your values.
• Joy deserves to be scheduled: Many adults prioritise responsibilities while neglecting fun. Small moments of joy often have a bigger impact on happiness than major milestones.
• Your mindset shapes your experience: The stories you tell yourself, your level of self-compassion, and your tendency toward comparison can significantly influence how happy and fulfilled you feel.

Timestamps

• 00:00 - Why happiness is more complicated than it seems
• 02:27 - Relationships: the strongest predictor of happiness
• 08:11 - Health and Energy: Is it exhaustion or unhappiness?
• 10:06 - Purpose and Growth: Finding meaning in everyday life
• 12:46 - Joy, fun and the moments we forget to prioritise
• 16:30 - Mindset, comparison, and moving goalposts
• 18:05 - Bringing the Happiness Audit together

Happiness Audit Questions

1. Relationships and Connection

• Who are the people in your life that make you feel energised?
• Are you making enough time for these people

• Are you actively investing in the relationships that matter most?
• When was the last meaningful conversation you had?

2. Health and Energy

• How am I really feeling physically?
• Do I wake up feeling restored most days?
• What habits are helping my energy levels right now?
• What habits are draining my energy levels?

3. Purpose and Growth

• What gives me a sense of meaning and purpose?
• Am I growing in any area of my life?
• What am I excited about?
• Where have I become stuck on autopilot?

4. Joy and Fun

• What do I do purely because I love it?
• When was the last time I laughed really hard?
• Have I accidentally removed too much fun from my life?
• What am I looking forward to?
• Where can I create more moments of joy in everyday life?

5. Mindset and Self-Talk

• How do I speak to myself on a daily basis?
• Am I constantly focused on what’s missing?
• Am I comparing my life to someone else’s highlight reel?
• What would change if I appreciated what I already have while still pursuing my goals?

Connect With Grow As I Go

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might benefit from taking a moment to pause and reflect.

Follow Grow As I Go for weekly conversations about personal growth, self-awareness, mindset, leadership, relationships, and navigating life’s messy middle.

Remember: Happiness isn’t something you find. It’s something you practice.

In this episode of the Grow As I Go Podcast, Amy Savage explores one of life’s biggest challenges: making decisions and living with uncertainty. From relationships and career changes to major life crossroads, Amy unpacks why regret is often rooted in comparing reality to an imaginary alternative. She shares powerful insights on decision-making, the psychology of choice, grief, commitment, and why the goal isn’t to make the perfect choice - but to make your choice the right one. If you’ve ever been stuck overthinking a decision, questioning a path you’ve taken, or wondering “what if?”, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on trust, growth, and moving forward with confidence.

Key Takeaways

• You cannot compare your life to an imaginary one. The path not taken exists only in your imagination, making it easy to idealise
• Most decisions are predictions, not certainties. We make choices based on incomplete information and can never fully know how the alternative would have unfolded
• Every choice comes with both gains and losses. Even the right decisions often involve grief, sacrifice or discomfort
• Regret often assumes the alternative would have been better. In reality, we never experience the challenges and trade-offs that would have come with the road not taken
• Indecision is still a decision. Choosing not to act continues to shape your life just as much as taking action
• Focus less on making the right choice and more on making your choice right. Meaning is built through commitment, effort and participation after the decision is made.

Timestamps

• 00:37 - Why uncertainty and 'what if' thinking creates so much suffering
• 03:03 - The road not taken: why you'll never know the outcome of the alternative path
• 06:34 - The myth of the 'right choice' and accepting the trade-offs that come with every decision
• 11:28 - When decisions aren't unclear - they're just difficult because of what comes next
• 12:24 - Amy's deeply personal story about making a difficult decision during her adoption journey
• 16:42 - 'What you're not changing, you're choosing': why avoiding decisions still shapes your life
• 20:00 - The three levels of decision making: instinct, social expectations and intuition
• 22:02 - Choices, chances and changes: why growth required action despite uncertainty

Memorable quote

“Lets stop focusing all our energy on trying to make the right choice. Let’s make a choice based on the knowledge we have, and focus our energy on making it the right choice for us’’

Connect with Grow As I Go

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast on Spotify and share it with someone you know who struggles with making a decision, whether it be what to eat from the menu at a restaurant or a big, life changing decision.

Follow on Instagram: @growasigopodcast

Do you constantly struggle with motivation, procrastination,or feeling stuck despite wanting to make positive changes?

In this episode of Grow As I Go, Amy explores the surprising connection between dopamine, instant gratification, and motivation. From social media scrolling and online shoppingto binge-watching and sugar cravings, we unpack how easy dopamine hits may be rewiring our brains and making it harder to stay focused, disciplined, and motivated. Learn why motivation doesn’t come before action, how dopamine reallyworks, and practical ways to retrain your brain to find satisfaction in effort, progress, and meaningful goals.

Key Takeaways

• Motivation doesn't come before action - it often appears after you get started.
• Dopamine is linked to anticipation and reward-seeking, not just pleasure.
• Constant access to instant gratification can reduce our motivation for harder but more meaningful activities.
• Easy dopamine hits can create a cycle of craving, temporary satisfaction, and emotional 'comedowns'.
• Boredom, stillness, and effort are often the foundations of creativity, focus and genuine fulfilment.
• Simple strategies like 'dopamine stacking' can help retrain your brain to associate effort with reward.

Timestamps

• 00:49 - Why motivation may not be your real problem
• 04:35 - The truth about dopamine and how it influences motivation
• 08:21 - The dopamine cycle: pleasure, pain and the 'gremlins' effect
• 12:13 - Why smart phones are powerful, dopamine delivery systems
• 16:30 - How to reset your dopamine baseline and reconnect with effort
• 17:50 - Dopamine stacking: using rewards to make things easier

Connect with Grow As I Go

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast onSpotify or Apple and share it with someone who might need a fresh perspective on motivation, habits, and personal growth. You can also follow the show on Instagram - @growasigopodcast

Mel Robbins episode about dopamine, if you're looking for a more in depth explanation behind the science of it all!Get Motivated With The #1 Dopamine Expert - Mel Robbins

In this deeply honest and vulnerable episode, Amy sits down with her close friend Emma Donohue to unpack the emotional reality of being single in your 30’s and in later life.

Together they explore the insecurities, societal pressures, loneliness, healing, dating experiences, relationship patterns and unexpected growth that can come with navigating this chapter. From divorce and heartbreak, to dating apps, biological clocks, friendship shifts, and learning not to settle out of fear, this conversation is a raw and reassuring reminder that life does not have to follow a traditional timeline to still be meaningful, beautiful and full.

Amy and Emma reflect on the lessons they’ve learnt through relationships, the importance of boundaries and self-worth, and how dating later in life can actually become an advantage - because you finally know who you are, what you value, and what kind of love truly aligns to you.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt ‘behind’ in life, feared being alone, struggled with relationship expectations or questioned whether love is still possible later in life.

 Key  takeaways

• There is no universal timeline for love, relationships, marriage or children
• Being single later in life does not mean you are behind
• Fear of loneliness can sometimes keep us in relationships that aren’t aligned
• Dating in your 30’s can actually be an advantage because you know yourself more deeply
• Healing and growth often come from difficult relationships and heartbreak
• A romantic relationship is only one slice of a very full and meaningful life
• Vulnerability and authenticity help you find the people who are truly meant for you
• You are not ‘left on the shelf’ - you are simply on your own path
• The right relationship will meet you where you are, not require you to abandon yourself.

Timestamps

• 00:00 - Why being single later in life can feel isolating
• 02:25 - The fears and insecurities that come with dating in your 30’s
• 07:30 - Funny dating stories, red flags and friendship support systems
• 10:00 - Learning what you truly want from a relationship
• 14:10 - Fear, loneliness, validation and staying in the wrong relationships
• 18:20 - Boundaries, self worth, and not losing yourself in love
• 22:10 - The ‘pie analogy’ and finding fulfilment while single
• 23:20 - Why your timeline doesn’t have to match anyone else's
• 26:10 - Final reflections on growth, healing and finding love later in life

Follow Grow As I Go on Spotify and Apple, and on Instagram @growasigopodcast

In this episode of Grow As I Go, we unpack body image and the complicated relationship so many of us have withthe way we look. This conversation explores how body image is often far deeper than appearance itself - touching identity, belonging, self-worth, comparison, ageing and the human desire to feel accepted.

I explore the psychological impact of growing up surrounded by beauty standards, diet culture and media scrutiny, particularly through the 90s and early 2000s, and how social media has intensified self-comparison in ways humans were never designed for.

From filters and edited perfection to childhood insecurities that stay with us into adulthood, this episode dives into why body image affects almost everyone, even when logically we know the standards aren’t real.

I also share personal reflections on ageing, weight fluctuations, social comparison, adolescent experiences thatshaped my insecurities, and the ongoing process of learning to speak to ourselves with more compassion instead of criticism.

This episode is a reminder that body image isn’t just a women’s issue - it’s a deeply human one.

Key takeaways:

• Body image is often connected to identity, belonging, validation and self-worth

• Humans were never designed to analyse their own appearance constantly

• Social media and technology have amplified self-comparison and self-surveillance

• Growing up in the 90s and 2000s exposed many women to harmful beauty standards and body shaming

• Even when we know images are edited, our emotional brains still absorb unrealistic standards

• Body image struggles affect men too, although they are often discussed less openly

• Many insecurities begin in adolescence through comments, experiences or social environments

• Healing body image may not mean loving every part of yourself — but spending less time at war with your body

Timestamps

• 00:00 Introduction to body image and self-perception

• 01:30 How technology changed the way we see ourselves

• 03:20 Growing up in the 90s/2000s beauty standard era

• 06:10 The psychology behind body image and emotional comparison

• 09:20 Why body image affects men too

• 11:15 Childhood insecurities and the experiences that shape us

• 16:00 How adults unintentionally pass down insecurities

• 17:40 Learning to speak to ourselves with more compassion

Follow Grow As I Go on Instagram @growasigopodcast

Have you ever been told “you’re so lucky”… when you know it wasn’t luck at all?

In this episode of Grow As I Go, we unpack the powerful truth behind luck vs resilience and why what looks like “everything working out” is often the result of unseen effort, hard decisions, and personal growth.

We explore what resilience really means (hint: it’s not just getting through hard things), why two people canexperience the same situation and end up in completely different places, and how your mindset, actions, and choices shape your outcomes over time. From the concept of the two arrows (pain vs suffering) to the idea that resilience can make struggle invisible, this episode will shift how you see yourself, and others.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overlooked, or frustrated by the idea of “luck,” this conversation will help you understand how to start building resilience and creating your own 'luck' (aka opportunities).

Key Takeaways

• Resilience is not just survival - it’s how you adapt, respond, and take action
• Two people can go through the same hardship and have completely different outcomes
• The 'two arrows' concept: pain is inevitable, but suffering is often a choice
• What looks like 'luck' is often the result of consistent decisions and effort over time
• Resilience can make struggle invisible, which leads to misunderstanding from others
• Small, intentional actions can open doors to new opportunities and long-term growth

Timestamps

• 0:00 - Introduction, why 'you're so lucky' isn't what it seems
• 01:10 - What resilience actually is (and what it's not)
• 03:00 - Category A vs Category B: Growth vs staying stuck
• 07:30 - The 'two arrows' concept - pain vs suffering
• 09:30 - Creating your own luck through action and mindset
• 16:30 - Real life examples: marathon training, relationship and effort
• 19:00 - Why resilience doesn't mean doing everything alone

Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes, or follow Grow As I Go on Instagram - @growasigopodcast

Have you ever held yourself back from doing something because you were scared of getting it wrong - or worse, being seen trying?

In this episode of Grow As I Go, we unpack the F-word: failure. But more specifically, the fear of failure, fear of judgement, and fear of being seen not getting it right.

This conversation explores how perfectionism, overthinking, and “waiting for the right time” often disguise a deeper fear - the fear of stepping forward before we feel fully ready.

From starting this podcast to everyday decisions, I share my own experience of delaying action and how learning to move through fear has completely shifted the way I approach growth, mindset, and self trust.

We also explore what success really means when you remove external validation from the equation. Because for many of us, fear of failure isn’t about capability - it’s about perception, judgement, and how we think others will see us.

This episode is about redefining success, letting go of perfectionism, and learning that meaningful growth almost always begins before you feel ready.

If you’ve ever struggled with self doubt, procrastination, or fear of judgement, this conversation will help you rethink what failure actually means.

Because most of the time, it’s not failure holding us back… it’s the fear of being seen trying.

Key themes in this episode:

• Fear of failure and fear of judgement

• Perfectionism and overthinking as forms of self-sabotage
• Why “waiting for the right time” keeps you stuck
• Redefining success on your own terms (growth over validation)
• Building confidence through action, not readiness
• The mindset shift from external approval to internal alignment

Timestamps:

0:00 – Welcome and introduction: fear of failure

02:00 – My experience delaying starting this podcast

06:40 – Redefining success and failure on your own terms

11:15 – Perfectionism and self-sabotage patterns

13:05 – The “cheap seats vs VIP section” mindset (judgement vs support)

21:10 – Choosing action over perfection + final reflection

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered how you got here? Not just the big moments, but the quiet in-between ones that changed everything?

In this introductory episode of Grow As I Go, I share why I started this podcast and the personal experiences that shaped it - including grief, heartbreak, IVF, divorce, loss, and rebuilding my identity through it all.

This episode sets the foundation for what Grow As I Go is really about: navigating growth in real time, not just looking back once everything makes sense. Because self growth doesn’t happen in hindsight - it happens in the messy middle of life, when things feel uncertain, uncomfortable, and completely unplanned.

We explore what a growth mindset actually looks like in practice, how resilience is built through lived experience, and why the challenges we go through don’t define us - but they do shape how we move forward.

You can’t always control what life gives you, but you can learn how to respond, reflect, and keep showing up for yourself anyway.

This podcast is about honest conversations around personal growth, mindset shifts, emotional resilience, self awareness, and navigating change - especially when life doesn’t go to plan.

If you’re in a season of rebuilding, uncertainty, or becoming someone you didn’t expect to be, this episode lays the foundation for everything to come.

Because growth isn’t something you arrive at - it’s something you live through.

Key themes in this episode:

• Starting a self-growth podcast and why I created Grow As I Go
• Growth mindset and emotional resilience in real life
• Navigating grief, IVF, divorce, heartbreak and change
• Identity shifts and rebuilding after adversity
• Learning to grow through the messy middle of life
• Why your experiences shape you, but don’t define you

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Grow As I Go and why this podcast exists

02:30 My passion for self growth and mindset work

05:00 Life experiences that shaped me (grief, IVF, divorce, loss)

10:00 Choosing a growth mindset over staying stuck

16:30 “We all die, but not all of us live”

18:30 What this podcast will explore moving forward

Follow my instagram page for more updates @growasigopodcast