Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna discuss ways to combat and revive a stale marriage. 

Topics Covered:

• Defining a stale marriage
• Intentionally living vs. existing
• The 3 C’s to combat a stale marriage
• Different seasons of marriage
• Being intentional about carving out time for each other
• Ways to connect without technology
• Looking forward to the end and creating a legacy with your spouse
• Diving deeper in communication with your spouse
• Creating a vision together
• Attaching a more powerful why to your marriage
• Understanding what you and your spouse want out of life
• Discovering your core values as a couple

Episode Summary:

On this solo episode, Chris covers the reasons we feel guilty when overindulging around the holidays, and how to get rid of that guilt and reset your mind regarding food and the holidays.

Topics Covered:

• Avoiding holiday food guilt
• Binge eating around the holidays
• Combatting the guilt that accompanies overeating
• Combatting the feelings that come from overeating – bloating, irritability etc.
• Expectations around the holidays and the stress that comes with trying to perfect everything, whether you are hosting or traveling
• Adjusting your attitude when you know that the day can be stressful
• Setting boundaries for yourself and your family around the holidays
• Allowing yourself treats, but in moderation, and not beating yourself up over it
• Making a plan BEFORE you go
• Talking to relatives who may comment on or be cynical about your goals and fitness journey
• Negative mind chatter
• Social pressures
• Creating balance around the holidays
• The harm in finding comfort in food
• Enjoying the holidays without the binge and without the guilt
• The compound effect
• Physiological vs. mental response from over-indulging

Episode Summary:

Johnna rolls solo on this episode and dives into the challenges of mom guilt and steps to be intentional about ridding ourselves of it.

Topics Covered:

• Mom guilt questions
• Does mom guilt serve us?
• Guilt vs. conviction and learning the difference and when to learn and when to give ourselves grace
• Being a mom is a 24/7 job
• Getting rid of the guilt cycle of shaming ourselves and beating ourselves up
• Working mom vs. Stay-at-home debate
• Mom shaming
• Realizing that we aren’t alone in this guilt cycle
• The struggles of a SAHM
• When the guilt hurts at night
• The struggles of a working mom
• Mom shaming breastfeeding vs. formula, birth story argument, screen time, how you feed your kids
• Internet trolls
• Comparing yourself to other moms/parents
• Single moms guilt
• Moms who feel single because their husbands work so much
• Being a first time parent no matter how many children you have
• Learning to stop beating ourselves up
• Lack of education for parenting long-term
• Five ways to get rid of mom guilt
  • Acknowledge the mom guilt by journaling
  • Find your triggers
  • Connect with your children
  • Fill your cup
  • Let it go and give yourself some grace

 

Sources Mentioned:

Penzu App for journaling

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna discuss all the ways in which friendships change through different seasons of life and the importance of community through each.

Topics Covered:

• How your identity changes after becoming a parent
• How friendship dynamics change when you enter different stages
• How friendship and life can change after marriage, after kid 1, kid 2, kid 3 etc.
• How your relationships with people influence who you are
• When you catch up to a friend’s stage or vice versa
• Friends who move through the same stages with you
• The loneliness you can feel after having a child
• Maintaining friendships through different seasons/stages
• How we parent before we’re parents
• Not knowing where or who you fit in with after becoming a parent
• The way your perspective changes after having kids
• How we as parents affect our non-parent friendships
• Separating yourself from your kids and spending more time with friends
• When you are lucky enough to have friends who aren’t in the same stage but love your kids like your own
• When you and your friend each have one child versus when you have two and three
• Feeling like no one gets what you are going through when you don’t have community who is in the same stage
• How finding friends in adulthood is like dating
• Finding community to surround yourself with
• Criteria for people you spend time with
• Being able to have uncomfortable conversations with your close friends and holding each other accountable in tough situations
• Looking at the intent behind words in relationships
• Making sure that you have friends in your life who are in your corner
• You are like the five people you spend the most time with
• The weird transformative stage that is your 20's and 30's
• The importance of finding community
• Assessing your current relationships
• Cutting people or distancing yourself from people who do not impact you in a positive way

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview blogger and certified Family Life Counselor, Amberly Lambertsen on the importance and the how-to of prioritizing marriage. 

Topics Covered:

• A Prioritized Marriage (Blog)
• The importance of putting your spouse ahead of everybody
• The “Gray Divorce” epidemic
• The lack of connection in husband in wife when they don’t prioritize each other
• Prioritizing marriage pre and post-kids
• Date nights before and after you have kids
• How to be intentional about date nights
• Scheduling regular date nights
• At-home date night ideas
• Date night boundaries
• Trigger topics to avoid during date night
• How to prioritize each other in marriage when you cannot do regular date nights
• Remaining a team through the different stages of life
• Being intentional about your marriage, even in the midst of adversity like having a child in the NICU
• What happens to your marriage when you don’t put your spouse first
• How to begin rituals to be intentional about spending time with your spouse each day, outside of date nights
• How to fit in hobbies and a social life outside of each other
• Balancing kids, spouse, career, and social life
• Routines and systems to be intentional and how to create one that works for your family
• How overnight dates improve marriage
• Why your kids need to see that your relationship is a priority
• Signs that your marriage may be on the backburner
• How to come back from a marriage that’s on the backburner
• What happens when only one spouse is intentional about prioritizing marriage
• Ways to get your spouse on board with dates nights and putting each other first
• How to assess and communicate your effort and needs in your relationship
• Trumping all of the excuses for why you cannot have a regular date night
• “prioritizing date night in your marriage” book – why you need date night and how to make it happen

Sources Mentioned:

Date night blog post - https://www.aprioritizedmarriage.com/blog/date-night-rules

Where to Find Amberly:

Insta: @aprioritizedmarriage 

Book:

"Prioritizing Date Night in Your Marriage"

https://www.aprioritizedmarriage.com/shop

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview Advanced Postpartum Doula, Lactation Counselor, and owner of Relief Parenting Respite and Resource Center, Krista Maltais on parental burnout - how to identify it, when to ask for help, and how to combat it. 

Topics Covered:

• Parental Burnout defined
• Ways in which burnout can mimic depression, common stress and other health issues
• How to know if it’s burnout
• Warning signs of burnout
• Three levels of burnout: mild, moderate and severe
• Different parental situations that warrant different levels of burnout
• Why quality sleep plays such a huge role in surviving burnout and parent life in general
• Detriments of poor sleep quality
• Examining your sleep environment and routine
• Easy lifestyle tips to combat parental burnout
• Addressing a parent’s need for a genuine break and support
• How to communicate your needs for a break to your partner
• How to find what rejuvenates you
• How to reframe how you speak about your roles as parents
• Incorporating parenthood as your new identity rather than looking at it as a job
• How your mental load can be just as taxing on your body, stress levels and sleep as your physical load
• The importance of parental collaboration and teamwork between spouses when raising little kids
• Knowing your communication style with your partner and utilizing theirs as well to make sure you are on the same page
• How lack of communication in marriage, while experiencing burnout, can negatively impact your health, life and relationship
• The painful future of not addressing your needs with your spouse
• What life looks like for your kids when you model a marriage of love, support, and communication
• Expectations in self and parental care
• When and how to ask for help
• How your intimate life will improve if you help your spouse around the house
• The Postnatal Depletion Cure
• S.P.A.N. : your self-care plan – Sleep, Purpose, Activity and Nutrition
• Relief Parenting Respite and Resource Center

Sources Mentioned:

Book: The Postnatal Depletion Cure by Oscar Serrallach

Krista's Resource: https://www.reliefparenting.com/parental-burnout

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview Speech Pathologist, educator, and mentor - Allison Cloutier on the importance and purpose of intentional play and time with children.

Topics Covered:

• Speech Pathology defined
• Working with speech and language in young children
• Expressive language
• Social language
• Alternative forms of communication
• The importance of play
• Play-based therapy
• The challenges of playing as a parent/caregiver
• The challenges of playing with multiple children at once who are at different ages
• Why play is so important? 1. Development 2. Problem solving 3. Creates abstract thinking 4. Social skills 5. Communication skills 6. Theory of mind (someone else’s perspective) 7. Self-confidence 8. Imagination
• Play builds a foundation for formal learning
• Role play and how it helps with learning
• Play and it’s relation to literacy
• Playing with presence
• Being intentional about play time
• Developmental stages
• Screens and how they affect children’s development
• How creation comes from boredom and the way we are eliminating that creative freedom through technology
• Types of games that improve brain use
• Speech delays and developmental milestones
• When you should seek professional help for your child based on developmental concerns
• Nutrition and how it affects childhood
• Pacifiers and how they affect speech
• Speech impediments
• Deeper connection with your children

Links Mentioned:

asha.org

Where to Find Allison:

https://allisonpcloutier.com/

Episode 17 Show Notes: Stumbling Through Infidelity

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview couple Ben and Megan Ballein on their journey through infertility, infidelity, separation, and restoration.

Listen as real life couple takes us through how they stumbled through the toughest of times to get to where they are now.

Topics Covered:

• Lack of communication in marriage
• Justifying situations
• Infertility
• Setting boundaries or building fences in your marriage with the opposite sex
• Taking it too far – infidelity
• Do happy people cheat?
• When caught in the act of cheating
• How your job can shape your identity and significance
• Lost identity as the man and husband in marriage, and finding it in work
• New confidence and time spent with other people can be a distraction from pain at home
• The importance of support and community in your marriage and in challenging situations
• Repressed resentment
• The danger in letting important things roll off of your back
• The effects of struggling through infertility
• The decision to become licensed foster parents
• The decision to adopt
• Adopting before the healing
• The cycle of guilt
• Request for divorce
• Separation
• Family isn’t just blood
• The power of prayer
• Laid off
• Single mom
• Drunk dial confessions
• God’s love through the hurt
• Feeling forced to choose adoption or marriage
• Confiding in another woman
• Seeking help
• Stumbling up to the altar
• A restored marriage
• Keeping families together
• Youth Pastors
• A God-centered marriage
• A manly man vs. a Godly man

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview Pastor Aaron Duvall and wife Chera, who have faced loss and breast cancer, all within the last year and half. 

Listen as a real couple tells their story of fighting back against cancer using faith, mindset, prayer and community to claim victory from the very beginning. 

None of us think it will happen to us, so what if cancer comes?

Topics Covered:

• When life doesn't look like how we planned
• Hearing from God and making moves
• Unexpected loss in miscarriage
• Signs that pointed to breast cancer 
• The diagnosis
• The decision to fight and claim being a survivor from the start
• Choosing your attitude from the beginning and how mindeset affects everything 
• Different sizes of cancerous lumps and different stages of cancer
• Faith in the medical field
• Trusting your doctor and having chemistry vs. getting a second opinion
• Knowing that time is of the essence
• The decision to share your story
• Acting on faith and the power of prayer
• Showing fear and sadness, even as a pastor 
• Giving God all of yourself, but the struggle with also giving Him your family
• Preaching in the midst of pain
• Knowing that the presence of pain is not the absence of God
• What it means to fight cancer - the mental game that it requires 
• Perspective - extra naps, chemo spa days
• The body of Christ at its best 
• Feeling like a zombie and trying to function in normal life
• The cycle of energy and sickness after chemotherapy and the importance of finding your rhythm 
• Combating hopelessness of the past and anxiety of the future by taking each day as it comes
• Learning to appreciate the small things
• Becoming more intentional with time and people 
• Parenting through cancer
• Getting rid of the need for perfectionism 
• Where to begin after you or a loved one has been diagnosed
• The importance of a support system
• The importance of what you let into your mind
• Being your own advocate 
• Combating chemo-caused neuropathy 
• Cancer funding 
• Different forms of treatment for different types of cancer
• Tissue expanders, reconstruction surgery and implants
• Losing a life to save another 
• Divine intervention 
• Mastectomy and ovary removal 
• Cancer remission 

 

Links Mentioned:

Sermon: When God Says No

Sermon: Games We Play - Risk

Sermon: Games We Play - Operation

How to Keep Up With the Duvall's:

Chera's Journey

Episode Summary: 

If you're like most spouses (and parents for that matter), overwhelm is around every corner and resentment can often rear it's ugly head if we aren't careful. None of us want to feel it, so what's the solution to combating the feeling of overwhelm and avoiding resentment within your marriage? Find out in Episode 15 of the Grow Yourself Grow Your Marriage Podcast.

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