Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna discuss all the ways in which friendships change through different seasons of life and the importance of community through each.

Topics Covered:

• How your identity changes after becoming a parent
• How friendship dynamics change when you enter different stages
• How friendship and life can change after marriage, after kid 1, kid 2, kid 3 etc.
• How your relationships with people influence who you are
• When you catch up to a friend’s stage or vice versa
• Friends who move through the same stages with you
• The loneliness you can feel after having a child
• Maintaining friendships through different seasons/stages
• How we parent before we’re parents
• Not knowing where or who you fit in with after becoming a parent
• The way your perspective changes after having kids
• How we as parents affect our non-parent friendships
• Separating yourself from your kids and spending more time with friends
• When you are lucky enough to have friends who aren’t in the same stage but love your kids like your own
• When you and your friend each have one child versus when you have two and three
• Feeling like no one gets what you are going through when you don’t have community who is in the same stage
• How finding friends in adulthood is like dating
• Finding community to surround yourself with
• Criteria for people you spend time with
• Being able to have uncomfortable conversations with your close friends and holding each other accountable in tough situations
• Looking at the intent behind words in relationships
• Making sure that you have friends in your life who are in your corner
• You are like the five people you spend the most time with
• The weird transformative stage that is your 20's and 30's
• The importance of finding community
• Assessing your current relationships
• Cutting people or distancing yourself from people who do not impact you in a positive way

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview blogger and certified Family Life Counselor, Amberly Lambertsen on the importance and the how-to of prioritizing marriage. 

Topics Covered:

• A Prioritized Marriage (Blog)
• The importance of putting your spouse ahead of everybody
• The “Gray Divorce” epidemic
• The lack of connection in husband in wife when they don’t prioritize each other
• Prioritizing marriage pre and post-kids
• Date nights before and after you have kids
• How to be intentional about date nights
• Scheduling regular date nights
• At-home date night ideas
• Date night boundaries
• Trigger topics to avoid during date night
• How to prioritize each other in marriage when you cannot do regular date nights
• Remaining a team through the different stages of life
• Being intentional about your marriage, even in the midst of adversity like having a child in the NICU
• What happens to your marriage when you don’t put your spouse first
• How to begin rituals to be intentional about spending time with your spouse each day, outside of date nights
• How to fit in hobbies and a social life outside of each other
• Balancing kids, spouse, career, and social life
• Routines and systems to be intentional and how to create one that works for your family
• How overnight dates improve marriage
• Why your kids need to see that your relationship is a priority
• Signs that your marriage may be on the backburner
• How to come back from a marriage that’s on the backburner
• What happens when only one spouse is intentional about prioritizing marriage
• Ways to get your spouse on board with dates nights and putting each other first
• How to assess and communicate your effort and needs in your relationship
• Trumping all of the excuses for why you cannot have a regular date night
• “prioritizing date night in your marriage” book – why you need date night and how to make it happen

Sources Mentioned:

Date night blog post - https://www.aprioritizedmarriage.com/blog/date-night-rules

Where to Find Amberly:

Insta: @aprioritizedmarriage 

Book:

"Prioritizing Date Night in Your Marriage"

https://www.aprioritizedmarriage.com/shop

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview Advanced Postpartum Doula, Lactation Counselor, and owner of Relief Parenting Respite and Resource Center, Krista Maltais on parental burnout - how to identify it, when to ask for help, and how to combat it. 

Topics Covered:

• Parental Burnout defined
• Ways in which burnout can mimic depression, common stress and other health issues
• How to know if it’s burnout
• Warning signs of burnout
• Three levels of burnout: mild, moderate and severe
• Different parental situations that warrant different levels of burnout
• Why quality sleep plays such a huge role in surviving burnout and parent life in general
• Detriments of poor sleep quality
• Examining your sleep environment and routine
• Easy lifestyle tips to combat parental burnout
• Addressing a parent’s need for a genuine break and support
• How to communicate your needs for a break to your partner
• How to find what rejuvenates you
• How to reframe how you speak about your roles as parents
• Incorporating parenthood as your new identity rather than looking at it as a job
• How your mental load can be just as taxing on your body, stress levels and sleep as your physical load
• The importance of parental collaboration and teamwork between spouses when raising little kids
• Knowing your communication style with your partner and utilizing theirs as well to make sure you are on the same page
• How lack of communication in marriage, while experiencing burnout, can negatively impact your health, life and relationship
• The painful future of not addressing your needs with your spouse
• What life looks like for your kids when you model a marriage of love, support, and communication
• Expectations in self and parental care
• When and how to ask for help
• How your intimate life will improve if you help your spouse around the house
• The Postnatal Depletion Cure
• S.P.A.N. : your self-care plan – Sleep, Purpose, Activity and Nutrition
• Relief Parenting Respite and Resource Center

Sources Mentioned:

Book: The Postnatal Depletion Cure by Oscar Serrallach

Krista's Resource: https://www.reliefparenting.com/parental-burnout

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview Speech Pathologist, educator, and mentor - Allison Cloutier on the importance and purpose of intentional play and time with children.

Topics Covered:

• Speech Pathology defined
• Working with speech and language in young children
• Expressive language
• Social language
• Alternative forms of communication
• The importance of play
• Play-based therapy
• The challenges of playing as a parent/caregiver
• The challenges of playing with multiple children at once who are at different ages
• Why play is so important? 1. Development 2. Problem solving 3. Creates abstract thinking 4. Social skills 5. Communication skills 6. Theory of mind (someone else’s perspective) 7. Self-confidence 8. Imagination
• Play builds a foundation for formal learning
• Role play and how it helps with learning
• Play and it’s relation to literacy
• Playing with presence
• Being intentional about play time
• Developmental stages
• Screens and how they affect children’s development
• How creation comes from boredom and the way we are eliminating that creative freedom through technology
• Types of games that improve brain use
• Speech delays and developmental milestones
• When you should seek professional help for your child based on developmental concerns
• Nutrition and how it affects childhood
• Pacifiers and how they affect speech
• Speech impediments
• Deeper connection with your children

Links Mentioned:

asha.org

Where to Find Allison:

https://allisonpcloutier.com/

Episode 17 Show Notes: Stumbling Through Infidelity

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview couple Ben and Megan Ballein on their journey through infertility, infidelity, separation, and restoration.

Listen as real life couple takes us through how they stumbled through the toughest of times to get to where they are now.

Topics Covered:

• Lack of communication in marriage
• Justifying situations
• Infertility
• Setting boundaries or building fences in your marriage with the opposite sex
• Taking it too far – infidelity
• Do happy people cheat?
• When caught in the act of cheating
• How your job can shape your identity and significance
• Lost identity as the man and husband in marriage, and finding it in work
• New confidence and time spent with other people can be a distraction from pain at home
• The importance of support and community in your marriage and in challenging situations
• Repressed resentment
• The danger in letting important things roll off of your back
• The effects of struggling through infertility
• The decision to become licensed foster parents
• The decision to adopt
• Adopting before the healing
• The cycle of guilt
• Request for divorce
• Separation
• Family isn’t just blood
• The power of prayer
• Laid off
• Single mom
• Drunk dial confessions
• God’s love through the hurt
• Feeling forced to choose adoption or marriage
• Confiding in another woman
• Seeking help
• Stumbling up to the altar
• A restored marriage
• Keeping families together
• Youth Pastors
• A God-centered marriage
• A manly man vs. a Godly man

Episode Summary:

Chris and Johnna interview Pastor Aaron Duvall and wife Chera, who have faced loss and breast cancer, all within the last year and half. 

Listen as a real couple tells their story of fighting back against cancer using faith, mindset, prayer and community to claim victory from the very beginning. 

None of us think it will happen to us, so what if cancer comes?

Topics Covered:

• When life doesn't look like how we planned
• Hearing from God and making moves
• Unexpected loss in miscarriage
• Signs that pointed to breast cancer 
• The diagnosis
• The decision to fight and claim being a survivor from the start
• Choosing your attitude from the beginning and how mindeset affects everything 
• Different sizes of cancerous lumps and different stages of cancer
• Faith in the medical field
• Trusting your doctor and having chemistry vs. getting a second opinion
• Knowing that time is of the essence
• The decision to share your story
• Acting on faith and the power of prayer
• Showing fear and sadness, even as a pastor 
• Giving God all of yourself, but the struggle with also giving Him your family
• Preaching in the midst of pain
• Knowing that the presence of pain is not the absence of God
• What it means to fight cancer - the mental game that it requires 
• Perspective - extra naps, chemo spa days
• The body of Christ at its best 
• Feeling like a zombie and trying to function in normal life
• The cycle of energy and sickness after chemotherapy and the importance of finding your rhythm 
• Combating hopelessness of the past and anxiety of the future by taking each day as it comes
• Learning to appreciate the small things
• Becoming more intentional with time and people 
• Parenting through cancer
• Getting rid of the need for perfectionism 
• Where to begin after you or a loved one has been diagnosed
• The importance of a support system
• The importance of what you let into your mind
• Being your own advocate 
• Combating chemo-caused neuropathy 
• Cancer funding 
• Different forms of treatment for different types of cancer
• Tissue expanders, reconstruction surgery and implants
• Losing a life to save another 
• Divine intervention 
• Mastectomy and ovary removal 
• Cancer remission 

Links Mentioned:

Sermon: When God Says No

Sermon: Games We Play - Risk

Sermon: Games We Play - Operation

How to Keep Up With the Duvall's:

Chera's Journey

Episode Summary: 

If you're like most spouses (and parents for that matter), overwhelm is around every corner and resentment can often rear it's ugly head if we aren't careful. None of us want to feel it, so what's the solution to combating the feeling of overwhelm and avoiding resentment within your marriage? Find out in Episode 15 of the Grow Yourself Grow Your Marriage Podcast.

Main Topics Covered: 

• Johnna's Birthday Injury
• How Chris & Johnna  Combat Overwhelm
• Passive Aggressiveness
• His Perspective
• Her Perspective
• Identifying Each-other's Emotional Needs
• Parenting Like a Team
• Practical Side of Teamwork
• Emotional Side of Teamwork
• Chris & Johnna's Gift to Help You Pitch Better Teamwork To Your Spouse

 FREE DOWNLOAD:5 Steps To Pitch Better Teamwork

Episode Summary:

In Episode 14 of the podcast, Chris and Johnna can guarantee that this one action improved their marriage overnight and they are ready to lay the excuses to rest and motivate you to do the same!

Topics Discussed: 

• We All Have The Same Excuses
• The One Action Chris & Johnna Took  To Improve Their Marriage Overnight Revealed
• The Dads Perspective
• The Powerful Why Behind Taking The Action To Invest In The Marriage
• Ways To Get Resourceful If You Are Ready
• Chris & Johnna's Tip To Prepare 
• The Challenge To The listener

Subscribe to the podcast now so you don't miss another show!

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Episode Summary: 

If you and your spouse have ever fought about or disagreed on money, this episode is for you. Chris & Johnna interview money expert Dan Hinz as he gives us tips, tricks and powerful rationale behind stopping the money fights and how to handle money in a relationship. 

Topics Covered:

• Simple Exercise To Communicate Better About Money
• Finding middle ground with what we spend
• How do we stay patient with our wants when we are in student debt
• The Big mistakes we make with Student Loans
• Creating Expectations with our Finances
• The Only Way to Leverage Debt
• Can Consumer Debt Be Good?
• 3 Good Habits You Need To Be Financially Healthy
• How Often Should You Check Your Budget
• Can We Call Audibles On Budgeting?
• Can we pull from other budgets if we Overspend?
• How long does it take to create habit of Budgeting?
• Mistakes to Avoid when you start budgeting
• Tips for Budget Haters
• Do budgeting responsibilities need to be equal?
• What is the Benefit With Separate Accounts?
• 3 Dimensions of a relationship
• Fun Money Accounts For Each spouse
• Finding Fun Money While You Live Paycheck to Paycheck
• Finding a Powerful Why Behind Saving Money
• Defining A Specific Plan behind the Mindset of Money
• Determining If You Are Financially Stable enough to Follow Your Dreams
• Mindset of Giving Money
• Dan’s Money Guide For Our Listeners

Where to Find Dan:

Insta: @adultingwithmoney

Email: [email protected]

Website: adultingwithmoney.com 

Special Offers:

How to Talk Money with Your Spouse: The Ultimate Guide

Episode Summary:

If you have been through any form of sexual trauma, we want you to know that you are not alone and there is a path to heal, as well as specific things you and your partner can do to deal with the triggers that come. 

In this vulnerable episode, Sexpert Candice Smith is back to help Johnna work through her post-sexual trauma triggers and inform others on exactly what they can do when these triggers come to the surface.

We hope this episode brings you one step closer to begin healing from the past.

Topics Covered:

• Johnna's experience 
• Tips In Recovering from Trauma
• Johnna's empowering method to attempt to heal
• Forgotten way to heal 
• Difference between guilt and shame
• Best way to dispel the power of shame 
• How your partner can support you when you're triggered
• 5 minute exercise for partner to support you outside of triggers 
• Explaining exactly what a trigger is 
• Powerful exercise to handle triggers when they come 
• Triggered during sex and how to handle it 
• Why we cannot handle trauma on our own
• The common effects of post-sexual trauma on our lives
• Where does the healing begin when just now realizing the trauma won't go away on its own?
• The language of sex and Candice's Sexual Healing Kit
• The power of communicating with your partner through healing
• Using alcohol as a vehicle to get in the mood after trauma and as a coping mechanism for sex

Where to Find Candice:

Insta: @thekinkkit

Email: candice@thekinkkit

Special Offers:

www.twototango.love/gygym

**Follow the link above for your gift from Candice, AND the ability to sign up for a complimentary "Under the Covers" call with Candice where you can ask her your most intimate questions! 

If you or your partner, or anyone you know have been affected by sexual assault and need assistance, please consider visiting RAINN (Rape, Assault & Incest National Network) or calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.

Your voice deserves to be heard.