Growing Our Relationships

Are you looking for a last-minute Valentine's Day gift for someone special to you? Read on for a recommendation for a gift that will not cost you a penny but will require something else from you instead.

The quote in the box above, "Change is inevitable. Growth is optional," from author John Maxwell, is one of our favorites. Maxwell writes leadership books, so it is natural that the wisdom of this quote is something he often applies to organizations and businesses. In honor of Valentine's Day approaching, though, we would like to reflect on its meaning as it pertains to love and relationships.

All relationships change over time, as change is inevitable. This is true of every relationship we are a part of, whether they be with family members, co-workers, neighbors, friends, and, of course, romantic relationships. While every relationship experiences change over time, not all relationships experience growth. Why? Because, as the Maxwell quote says, growth is optional.

Growth happens when people are committed to the ongoing emotional growth relationships require. Growth occurs when both people see conflict and challenging times as opportunities for growth in understanding each other and are willing to learn and use new communication and listening skills. Growth also occurs when we accept that from time to time relationships get stuck, and that it is wise to ask for help by seeking out a therapist, a coach, a course, or book.

Our last column and podcast talked about how "Whatever we pay attention to is what will grow." This is so true when it comes to relationships. Valentine's Day is a beautiful reminder that our relationships need attention and nurturing, not just at this time of year, but always.

So, in addition to whatever cards or gifts we may give this Valentine's Day, let's consider that the greatest gift of all may be a renewed commitment to growing and tending our relationships.