Growing Paynes

In today’s episode I interviewed a friend named Chelsea who I met at a 5k race when we first moved to North Carolina. Chelsea talks about how she and her husband moved to North Carolina for the military, but she also had the dream of starting her own career and opening up 5 gyms. In 2018 she gave birth to her first son River at 22 weeks and was able to spend a couple of hours with him before he passed on. She now has a 1 year old son named Axel. Chelsea expresses how hurtful it is when people are too scared to talk about her experience with her and will eventually just change the subject. She gives some tips on how to have that conversation with people. Chelsea was diagnosed with “incompetent cervix” after her first pregnancy, and with this crucial information she was able to take the right precautions with her second pregnancy. She expressed that

with her second pregnancy she put her walls up and didn’t want to bond with the baby until she was absolutely sure the baby was going to actually be a part of their lives after having experienced the loss of her first child. She set up milestones to “look forward to” and at 28 weeks she was able to let those walls down and bond with Axel.

Mantra: Pick the worst moment you could possibly have in your life and say “does THIS compare to THAT?”

……….

Dr. Lee Lowery, MD from Southern Pines Women’s Health Center is the doctor who delivered both Chelsea’s babies: http://www.spwhc.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/site.physicians/action/dtl/phys/99905671.cfm

Definitions of some terms used in the episode:

Cervical Cerlage (cervical stitch): Is a treatment for cervical weakness, when the cervix starts to shorten and open too early during a pregnancy causing either a late miscarriage or preterm birth. In women with a prior spontaneous preterm birth and who are pregnant with one baby, and have shortening of the cervical length less than 25 mm, a cerclage prevents a preterm birth and reduces death and illness in the baby.[1]

The treatment consists of a strong suture sewn into and around the cervix early in the pregnancy, usually between weeks 12 to 14, and then removed towards the end of the pregnancy when the greatest risk of miscarriage has passed. The procedure is performed under local anaesthesia, usually by way of a spinal block. It is typically performed on an outpatient basis by an obstetrician-gynecologist. Usually the treatment is done in the first or second trimester of pregnancy, for a woman who has had one or more late miscarriages in the past.[2] The word "cerclage" means "hoop" in French, as in the metal hoop encircling a barrel.[3] There is no evidence that cerclage is effective in a multiple gestation pregnancy for preventing preterm births and reducing perinatal deaths or neonatal morbidity. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cervical_cerclage)

Incompetent cervix (cervical weakness): Is a medical condition of pregnancy in which the cervix begins to dilate (widen) and efface (thin) before the pregnancy has reached term. Definitions of cervical weakness vary, but one that is frequently used is the inability of the uterine cervix to retain a pregnancy in the absence of the signs and symptoms of clinical contractions, or labor, or both in the second trimester.[1] Cervical weakness may cause miscarriage or preterm birth during the second and third trimesters. It has been estimated that cervical insufficiency complicates about 1% of pregnancies, and that it is a cause in about 8% of women with second trimester recurrent miscarriages. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cervical_weakness)

HG (hypermesis gravidarum): A condition characterized by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and electrolyte imbalance. It’s a type of morning sickness but a more extreme case. 70-80% of most pregnant women experience some type of morning sickness. (https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-complications/hyperemesis-gravidarum/).

I was of the mindset that if you were going to have any sort of PPD that you would experience it immediately, but that's a MYTH

When Miles was about 4 months old I decided I needed to get help because I had been experiencing so many things that weren't normal for me 

I started having more bad days than good so that's when I realized I needed to talk to my doctor and get on medication 

I wanted to "cure" myself without medication and the fact that I had to resort to that almost made me feel OUT OF CONTROL 

Asking for help takes STRENGTH

If you're in the military speak with your key spouses, unit doctors, or another spouse in the squadron to see what resources are available 

Resources I took advantage of 

SAHM vs Working moms - SAHM report feeling lonely and depressed 28% of the time compared to working moms who report feeling lonely and depressed 17% of the time.  They say feel this way because they're missing a sense of accomplishment, limited adult interaction, no time for hobbies.

Motherhood is so beautiful but can feel lonely 

My son is 9 months 

Realization - All those lonely times have created a bond between you and your baby that can never be broke - It is all temporary! The bad days won’t last long 

Mantra: This is only temporary. These long lonely days and nights will not last forever.

Intro on me, Christy Payne! 

A little backstory of my life 

What you can expect from the Growing Paynes podcast