Heyyy sis! Welcome into 2023. It’s been a minute since we’ve chopped it up. I took a sabbatical, thinking I’d get some things on my to-do list done. The result?

I didn’t. Part of me just didn’t want to, if I’m honest. While the other side of me is simply worn out - mentally and emotionally.

2022 really challenged me in the area of mental health, rest and soul care. As we enter a new year and for me a new decade - which has a sista clutching her pearls - I want to accomplish the goals I’ve desired but they haven’t come to pass. Some of it is out of my realm of control but what I can do is honestly assess why I am stuck in certain areas of my life. As I am assessing my vision board, I’m finding certain things aren’t a vision for me anymore - or at least, not right now. To let go, is an act of faith, as I embrace what is my God-ordained assignment for the next season. This means being intentional about what I do  - and just as clear on my “why”. In the past, I haven’t done that. I had thoughts of what I “should” do or listened to voices other than my own.

Which is why my resolutions last a week and my vision boards simply collect dust.

Yes, I have a few solid goals I’d love to accomplish this year. But I also have three specific areas of focus that have nothing to do with career, fitness, diet or any of the other popular resolutions people make decrying, “New year, new me!” And yes, the new year brings the opportunity to become a “new us”. However, I think it’s important that we have some non-tangible goals that impact all other aspects of our life. That’s why I wanted to drop in to do this three-part series, “#Goals 2023”.

The first? Setting soul goals.

No, I don’t mean adding more church to our life.  Soul goals don’t necessarily consist of extra religiosity or even good “church works”. Rather, having the set intention to care better for our souls. When I think of this topic, I’m reminded of the lyrics to the hymn, “It Is Well”.

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well (it is well)

With my soul (with my soul)

It is well, it is well with my soul

We can continue on through the next set of lyrics but the question is, is it truly well with our soul? Our soul is unwell when we leave it unattended. When we don't pour into ourselves. Maybe due to busyness. Perhaps we’re wrestling with mental health issues. Could our soul be neglected because we’re harboring resentment towards our circumstances? Shoot, everyday life is enough to weigh on our soul, sis! But what exactly does our soul consist of and what type of soul goals shall we make?

To give some insight on the topic is minister Stephanie Shane. She is the First Lady at Three Trails Community Church, right here in Kansas City. Stepanie is transparent about her backstory, coming from the beauty industry to the ministry - and not too happy about it at first. Listen in as she shares about the components to making sure our soul is well. From therapy to theology; meditation to mingling with positive people; discovering self-awareness to discovery of the historical context of scripture - and more.

Well, the summer season finale is here.

Thank you, sis for hanging with me during the "Summer Reset Series". We’ve discussed resetting our careers, pursuits, fitness, mental health and more. But as we work to get our lives into a better space, we can’t forget one aspect that affects everything else.

Our relationship with ourselves. As for me, my relationship with myself starts with my faith.

As a believer, I know that when God and I are off, it spills into other areas of my life, especially with how I see myself. During those times, I become fearful, hypercritical, wrestle with ingratitude and the ugly things I sometimes don’t want to admit. When my faith walk isn’t properly aligned, life becomes extra messy, including my interactions with those around me. (And my response to stressors.)

Whew, sis. The struggle is real.

Relationships matter. That’s why today we’re digging into the topic of resetting our relationships. I had to pull in a pastor who digs deep into the topic of faith. But she keeps it a hundred when we’re talking about issues we have with ourselves and others, including God’s... let's say His "special" kids.

I’m excited to welcome back Jessica Stephenson, aka “Lady J”! She is a co-pastor at City of Truth Church, in Kansas City. What I love about chopping it up with Lady J is that she brings the real-real when it comes to life situations we wrestle with. However, don’t get it twisted. She may be a minister but she keeps it funky, not “churchy” in her delivery. She’s down-to-earth, energetic, relatable and transparent.

Lady J and I delve into the issues of faith, such as our misconception of God and how to respond to “church hurt”. However, the conversation doesn’t end there. Lady J also touches on dealing with marital and dating relationships, how to enjoy the single life, creating sisterhood and the issue of forgiveness versus reconciliation. That segment alone made me want to do a whole church dance! Look, I’m not saying stay home from church this week but this does count as a sermon. Yet, talking to Lady J is like speaking with a close girlfriend who gets you.

So as we wrap up summer, let’s go into the next season with relationship resets where necessary – starting with ourselves – and God.

Hey, sis! It's been a minute since we've chatted. Although last time we were together I said I was taking a bit of a summer break, I had some unexpected instances that kept me away longer than intended. One thing that threw me off was catching COVID, which took so much out of me. During my isolation, I realized I still hadn't tuned in to some areas of my life to do the work for a much needed reset. Sure, I managed to get some movement by exercising on my deck. I binged watched "The Upshaws" on Netflix. Read some books. Talked on the phone. Yet, I never sat down to address those places where I need a shift - or just a fresh start altogether. 

Especially in this midlife season. 

It's not about having a midlife crisis but an inspection of where I am and what needs to change. As I'm less than six months away from hitting that half a century milestone, I realize I've lived more days than what's ahead. While that may seem like gloom and doom, it's not. It's simply evaluating my life. Assessing what's next. Creating balance. Taking care of my body, mind and soul. Staying encouraged in this chapter, not anxious or deterred by age. Sometimes we mistakenly believe our best days are behind us but in reality, our latter days can be greater than our former ones - if we do the work to enjoy our lives from a place of wellness. That's why I'm glad to speak to someone who helps women do that on a daily basis.

Twoana Clark-Sheppard is a mental health professional, counselor, minister, life coach and founder of Abundant Living Legacy Life Care. While her titles and services are many, her primary goal is empowering women to live their best lives at any age or stage. Twoana offers life-enhancing holistic counseling and coaching in the five areas we're discussing today: emotional/behavioral, professional, relational, and spiritual. She digs into why these five areas are crucial to our well-being, especially for women over 40. Twoana is transparent with her own story of going into her business later in life, proving that it's never too late to get a new dream and achieve it! Twoana and I also chop it up about aging positively, the importance of mental health and more. So whether you're approaching midlife or already in the midst of it, this is a conversation you don't want to miss.

Hey sis! Welcome to this week’s episode of Grown Woman Stuff with Julee Jonez. I’m excited for the third in our summer reset series. Today’s topic is one that can be challenging, exhilarating and downright frightening - all at once! But when it’s time to fully listen to your heart and fulfill your purpose, you have to make choices you’ve never made before. You may be stretched in your faith and capacity. You could be starting over from scratch or expanding into a larger role with much more to learn. No matter the situation, there’s one word - an action - that is at the precipice of a new beginning.

Pivot.

There is power in resetting with a pivot, sis. Pivot, described by Merriam-Webster as,“to adapt or improve by adjusting or modifying something”. Also defined as “a person, thing, or factor having a major or central role, function, or effect.” Both are an adequate description of today’s guest who made her life-changing pivot in 2020.

Today I get the honor of chopping it up with my soror, Kristen Harris, Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion for Hallmark. Kristen was on a career track in operations at Hallmark when the events of the summer of 2020 changed her trajectory. The murder of George Floyd and rally cries for justice. The calls for racial equality. Then there was the capstone of that time: the COVID-19 pandemic. All that, combined with the stress of homeschooling while working from home led Kristen to re-examine her life and more specifically, her career path. She concluded she wanted to do more purposeful work and decided to hand in her resignation.

But that resignation didn’t lead to her leaving the company. Instead, it led to the creation of her new role. Kristen was courageous in both her decision to step away from the familial and declare her desires. In her current role, she is able to do that work she was longing for - and created to do.

Sis, her story is ours. When we lean fully into what we know we’re called to do, doors can open.

While you may not be able to leave your job tomorrow, there are steps you can take to begin the reinvention of your next chapter. Kristen shares some great gems how your passion can be fueled into meaningful work. She speaks on overcoming fear, avoiding “Imposter Syndrome”, navigating being the first in certain spaces and much more.

So if you’re ready to reset with a pivot, let this conversation inspire you to take the first step.

Hey sis! Welcome to the second episode in this “Summer Reset Series”. Today’s topic is one that I am in the midst of battling and perhaps, you are as well. I’m talking about the “b” word.

Burnout.

Albeit it’s not officially a medical condition, burnout is real. We literally feel like we can’t do anything. Sometimes simply running errands can overwhelm me - and I’m literally grabbing a few items from the store! I’ve come to terms that after years of busyness - which doesn’t always equate to productivity - it’s all come to a head for me. In fact, for the past year, I’ve been completely depleted. Yes, we’ve been in a pandemic, which has taken a toll on so many of us. But if I am completely honest, sis, “the Rona” is not the culprit for why my motivation is low. Or the reason my temperament can be sketchy. Nor an excuse for why my goals sometime fall flat. Girl, I just looked at my vision board the other day and was overwhelmed! I have good intentions to take an online class or two. Publish my devotional. Pursue a fitness certification. Get back on a clean(er) eating plan. All those things look great on my board and in my mind.

Birthing it all has been a whole other issue.

Of course we shouldn’t be ruled by how we feel, even when exhausted. But overcoming burnout takes effort and the right tools. That’s why I am excited and relieved to speak with a returning guest, Shantai McCray. Shantai is a Licensed Professional Counselor and owner of Life's Work Counseling and Consulting, L.L.C.

Shantai gives great insight into the real impact burnout has on us, both physically and mentally. Shantai also shares how wearing too many hats, the “strong Black woman” mantra, false guilt, insecurity and other factors contribute to burnout. Thankfully, Shantai provides us with some practical tools to help us reset and recover from burnout. 

So lean in, sis and let's begin to do this together.

Heyyy sis! It’s been a minute since we’ve chopped it up but I am back to do a short series on having summer resets in various areas of our lives. That’s what I meant to do while I was away but can I be honest?

It didn’t happen.

While I intended to have quiet time to hear God, I found myself distracted. Rushing through my to-do list. Being too exhausted to plan anything but still unwilling to settle down to do a self-assessment.

Have you been there?

We can get so busy doing life that we never take the time to reset. We simply keep going. But sis, there’s nothing wrong with opting out for a moment to reassess and ultimately, reset various areas of our lives.

It’s okay to reset career or educational endeavors. It’s necessary to reset emotionally after years of busyness and burn out. It’s crucial to reset from past pain and unresolved trauma. It’s essential to reset our faith when we’re weary or wrestling with unanswered prayers.

It’s also important to reset our health and wellness goals, so let’s start there.

(Sidebar: I’m still trying to curb my sugar habit. I got work to do!)

Today, we’ll hear from Deborah Perkins, the founder of the Facebook group, “Sistas Sweatin Melanin.” Deborah created Sistas Sweatin Melanin for Black women to have community; a safe space in their health journey. Each member can show up authentically in their truth, without judgement or competition. But Deborah’s focus goes beyond the scale or simply getting a summer vacation body. She wants women to focus on exercise and nutrition to help improve and prolong their lives - literally. In fact, Sistas Sweatin Melanin came into fruition after the death of her father from diabetes complications. In the aftermath, Deborah began to implement lifestyle changes to decrease her risk of chronic disease.

Listen in as we discuss Sistas Sweatin’ Melanin, setting realistic goals, changing our generational habits with food and more.

Hey, sis! Happy Spring. It’s the season of longer days, warmer weather and a time of new beginnings. In fact, most of us participate in what’s known as “spring cleaning” every year. For me, that means digging into all the papers I’ve tossed aside. Old bills. Magazines. Random sticky notes.  Flyers for events. Newspaper clippings. (Yes, I still get old school papers.) My closet is a whole other task. Trying to decide what dresses I may wear again – although they’ve been sitting in there for years! I try not to let nostalgia get to me when it comes to getting rid of my beloved t-shirts and hoodies. And after I purge my closet, it’s time to spruce up the rest of the house.

Spring cleaning is exhausting but necessary. In order to make room for the new, it’s essential to get rid of the old. Remove cobwebs and dust from the corners. Create a space that is free from clutter, establishing a crisp, clean renewed atmosphere.

If only we did that with our mental and emotional mess.

We allow the snares of shame and regret linger. Instead of old clothing, old mindsets remain. The dust of fear lingers in our soul. We need to deeply cleanse from the toxicity of unhealthy relationships. We should also rid ourselves of unforgiveness, self-criticism and haunting anger. So while we’re cleaning up our living areas, it’s time to clean spring our lives, sis. Let’s clear the mental and emotional clutter that holds us back. That’s why we’re talking to Life Coach Stacey Jennings.

Coach Stacey is very candid about her own backstory: a pregnancy and marriage at seventeen. She later carried self-inflicted shame over two divorces. Building up walls, she didn’t let anyone in, wanting her mistakes and regrets to be her own secret. But Coach Stacey learned that it’s when we let go of those things - and open up - we can begin to heal from past hurts and move forward. Her life went on a different, unexpected trajectory as she became a life coach to help other women. Her desire is to coach them through their mistakes, lack of confidence, fears, and other obstacles to become the women God created them to be.

Listen in as talk as we discuss spring cleaning our lives by getting unstuck, the importance of acknowledging our truths, learning to appreciate our story and more.

As suicide is a leading cause of death in the United States, we can create ideas of who is - and isn’t -at risk. While the topic of suicide and Black Americans is beginning to come to the forefront, we still need to fuel the conversation on this serious issue. We must gain understanding on how suicidal ideation can lead to completion of suicide, as well as the role that mental illness and trauma play in contributing to suicidal thoughts or attempts.

And we must get it out of our heads that successful, Black women cannot become a victim of this tragic act. The shocking and heartbreaking recent suicide of Cheslie Kryst proves that a woman who appears to have it all can also be at risk.

Her suicide shook many Black women, including myself, to their core. This beautiful and vivacious Queen who was a former lawyer, entertainment reporter, and Miss USA 2019. What pushed her to the point of completing suicide? While we unfortunately may never know, her mental illness could have been a factor. Her mother said she had been living with “high-functioning depression.” Although it’s not an official medical diagnosis, it’s not uncommon for many who deal with depression to function as normal. They wear masks, their accolades disguising the internal turmoil they face. They get through their days, accomplishing the tasks at hand. They may be high achievers, who appear to be climbing on the right ladder of success. They can radiate joy and happiness; snapping the perfect smiling selfies.

But on the inside, they are struggling to hold it all together.

We can wrongly assume that suicide primarily affects white, outwardly depressed middle-aged men. In fact, only recently are we seeing more studies being directed towards the subject of how suicide impacts Black people. But we need to have the discussions about suicidal risk and prevention, mental illness, stressors unique to Black women, and the importance of therapy. We'll talk about all that today with Nadirah Habebullah, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who operates Healing Her Trauma. 

Listen in as we also discuss the topic of high functional depression, when suicidal ideation becomes a danger, intervening for our loved ones and more.

Hey sis! As Women’s History Month continues, I think of all the women making a difference in the lives of their family, workplace, community and wherever they show up. In fact, Saturday I was a partaker in an event that celebrated women from all walks of life. It would be easy for someone to be impressed with everyone else and think of how they don’t measure up - which is why how we see ourselves matters. If our self-perception isn’t right, we’ll feed our minds the wrong information. With that information, we develop our beliefs. Those beliefs turn into actions and actions determine our destiny. So it is crucial we see ourselves correctly through the right lens.

Because sis, we can be our worst critics.

In a defeatist headspace, we can’t build ourselves up. We identify more with our areas of weakness than our strengths. We focus more on our failures than the victories. Our self-talk is negative; yet, we’d never speak to a friend like we talk to ourselves! We cheer for everybody else, never celebrating what we’ve accomplished. As a result, we lack confidence in who we are and our abilities.

I’ve been there and if that’s you sis, please stop.Accepting who we are is necessary to fulfill our life’s assignment. In other words, we must see ourselves to be ourselves. Author, motivational speaker and publisher Michelle Gines is here to remind us of all that and then some.

Michelle Gines is the co-owner of Purpose Publishing. She is one of the leading experts in self-publishing, helping many achieve their dream of telling their stories. But her work goes beyond publishing. As a Christian-based company, Michelle motivates people to utilize their faith to overcome their fears, self-doubt and any obstacle that keeps them stuck. In fact, through the end of this month, Michelle has launched the “See Yourself to Be Yourself Brain Fuel Devotional.” You can join Michelle daily for a simple devotion of only seven minutes, to encourage you to see yourself the way God sees you. Michelle says, “It's time to change your brain.”

Listen in as Michelle talks about her book “Seeing Yourself to Be Yourself”, the importance of your story, tools to help you bring an idea to fruition, and more.

Heyyy sis! Happy Women’s History Month! This month we focus on celebrating all the contributions women have made in every realm: community, culture, politics, business, and anywhere we show up. Women continue to be change agents. We still face barriers such as sexism, misogynoir, pay inequality and more.

Nevertheless, we pursue, persist, and provoke good trouble.

As women, we have the agency to reflect on our experiences and use them as fuel to light the fire to move us into our purpose. We have the purview to see what is needed in our families, workplaces, neighborhoods and the world as a whole. It is in our struggles and triumphs where our personal stories are cultivated. From these stories, we can become initiators of that which is good, necessary, and serves our fellow (wo)man.

LaShawn Walker, the founder, President and CEO of Suburban Balance, is one woman who is doing just that.

She founded the non-profit organization in 2013. Suburban Balance provides educational and cultural opportunities to suburban students of color to help ensure they experience a well-balanced lifestyle, as they grow up in neighborhoods or attend schools that lack diversity. Since its’ inception, 400 families have joined the group as it continues to grow.

LaShawn is also the driving force behind the LIFT HER UP movement. LIFT HER UP was launched out of LaShawn’s desire to galvanize sisterhood among women and encourage us to support, elevate, and celebrate one another in all facets of life.

Listen in as LaShawn shares her story of how recognizing a need turned into more than an idea, but a venture that continues to change and impact lives. LaShawn’s conversation is inspiring and transparent, as she reveals her own personal battles of infertility, reconciliation with her father, and more.