Grumble Goat

Humankind is the Apex predator on this planet, but we are not alone. Humanity has a best friend, a companion species in the Animal Kingdom. We have developed a symbiotic relationship with a loyal, faithful, and joyful partner in this entropic, mortal coil. Over generations and millennia we have come together in our homes and in our families, building a bond that supersedes fundamental needs, and even breaks into the realm of unconditional love; the bond between Humans and their best friend, dogs. And then, like a vacation ruined by uninvited in-laws, another animal moved in. Like an unemployed, adult child, they mooch off of our dwindling hospitality. Scratch up the furniture with Mat and Veronique as we cough up the indigestible furball of Cats!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

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Nominate episodes for the G.O.A.T Awards!!! GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

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Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Cats appeared first on Mat Labotka.

All of Humankind is akin, from the earliest cave-dwellers to the astronauts floating in space stranded by Boeing, we are all united in the ethereal, unconscious nether of sleep. No matter the microprocessor speed of our daily lives, we all are bound to the mortal coil of comatose slumber. While we now live in a world of scientific knowledge, our ancestral superstitions linger in our subconscious. The tribal cave-mind hides in the forgotten reaches of the back of our mind until we drift off to the enchanted nether of dreams where ancient nightmares torment our psyche. All the while our body lays still and unused for eight hours. But why? Why is there no pill to stop this? Our corporate overlords want more and more labor and sweat, why have they not demanded an end to this waste of productivity? Brush your teeth and put on your PJs with Mat and Veronique as we toss and turn and bemoan that elusive release of Sleep!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Sleep appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Agriculture is, of course, how we grow our food, but it is also humanity’s most fundamental connection to the Earth. The bountiful nutrients and minerals of Earth’s rich soils are unlocked by vegetation’s burrowing roots. And the different sediments of Earth’s many environments produce specific thriving flavors native to certain places: the grapes of Bordeaux, the olives of Sicily, and the hydroponic cannabis of Studio City. These flavors are celebrated throughout the world. But some places have a deep-seeded need for secrecy. New Jersey is an area where you keep your mouth shut, Fahgettaboutit, you-don’t-need-to-know kind of place. Come visit the Garden State with Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Amanda Bruton – as we dig up Jersey’s surprising little secret, a bright red splatter pattern of Jersey Tomatoes!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

NEW! Merch Shop: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com/shop

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Follow Amanda on Insta! @theAmandaBruton

Or discover Amanda’s alter ego! @ConnieBigBallz | or TikTok

Follow Amanda’s Podcasting Journey! @PreggoMyLesbo

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For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Nominate episodes for the G.O.A.T Awards!!! GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

The post Jersey Tomatoes appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Evolution forges animals in a chaotic gauntlet of carnage and slaughter. Like a gladiatorial arena, only the strongest and fittest can survive the tumult. Eons of desperate hunting, killing, and fighting between species has born out to create the single-elimination food web that governs all living things. Until Humankind. The human has outclassed all other species so thoroughly that in our hubris, we take small competitors as pets. We are so immune from any other predator that we toss them morsels out of pity. But do they receive such cowardly scraps with any shame? They are still playing the game. They find food and attack. They look to us, not as friend, but as a pinata of crumbs. Grab some bread with Veronique and Mat as we wantonly waste food only to be swarmed by the onslaught of Feeding Birds!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Nominate episodes for the G.O.A.T Awards!!! GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

NEW! Merch Shop: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com/shop

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Feeding Birds appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Welcome to the Information Age! If you’re still reading this then you are already behind, because the information is flowing faster than it can be consumed. It is impossible to stay current in the flowing rapids of content being streamed through the intertubes of the Now! And just like a river’s current, money churns mercilessly through the hydroelectric dams of economic power. That’s why it’s called currency, and its never really yours, you just borrow it for a brief moment before directing the stream back into the labyrinthian plumbing of the flushing Hand of the Market! In the whirlpool of life in the current, why bother pretending anything is owned? Get swept past the terms of service with Mat and Veronique as we jettison the burden of property just to drown in the choking, gulping drag of Monthly Subscriptions!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Monthly Subscriptions appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind is a collaborative species, and the key to collaboration is communication. From the first spoken language, to the advent of the Ricola horn, to flag waving semaphore, straight on to the Walkie Talkie, communication has improved incalculably. Until the telephone. From the first phone call, it seemed a promising development, but the second call was a misleading confusion about Alexander Graham Bell’s extended car warranty. The telephone not only gave us the ability to reach anybody on the planet, it also gave everybody on the planet a way to reach us. Now, with cell phones in everyone’s pocket, crooks and liars and thieves no longer have to locate a mark, just punch some digits and they’re already in someone’s pocket. When every unknown call is known to be a ruse, can we finally fracture the phone part away from the cell? Answer the call with Mat and Veronique as we scrounge up some Google Play Gift Cards to satisfy the relentless onslaught of the Spam Calls!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Scam Calls appeared first on Mat Labotka.

The Earth has been dominated by different dynasties throughout the eons.  The Primordial Earth was governed by the amoeba, the Jurassic Earth was conquered by the dinosaur, the Common Era was managed by Humankind, and now is the Age of the Automobile.  These mammoth beasts have evolved into Range Rovers that have decimated the habitats that Humans once flourished in.  Fortunately, when dormant, they are mostly safe.  But there is still controversy over the ethics of using multiple pressure points on their wheels.  Is the Parking Gear equipped to hold these Goliaths at bay?  Tap the brakes with Veronique and Mat as we grab them by the reins and yank up on the Parking Brakes!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Parking Brakes appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind may be the ordained alpha of the Earth, but we are not free of the Circle of Life. Our mortality forces the generational hierarchy that all life must follow. The elders pass on the wisdom to the young, and then pass the torch of the tribe along and trust that this ancient wisdom will continue. Yet, is human legacy not disruption? We have reshaped Nature itself with innovation, and disrupted flavor with Xtreme nacho cheese; is it not inevitable that the Cycle, like our taste buds, is broken? The twisted, arthritic claws of the elders still cling to our societal torch, while culture is spinning through the high-paced Tiktok of youth. The millennium held such promise, yet when was the millennial age? Get whisked away with Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Darius Anthony Robinson – as we slip into the abyssal, Generational Gap!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

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Follow Darius on Instagram: thedariusanthony | Twitter: @dariusanthony | Facebook

Find Drunk Musicals on Instagram: @DrunkMusicals | TikTok: @DrunkMusicals

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For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Generational Gap appeared first on Mat Labotka.

The human body is a remarkable machine. It can be trained and shaped to extraordinary measures. The body builder grows the muscular structure to show off the strength of the gods. The gymnast contorts the body into awe-inspiring flexibility. The marathon runner hones themselves into a lean instrument of graceful endurance. And then there is the world of reality television, which zooms in on our imperfections for the sake of entertainment. It is here we see the everyman – the unsculpted lay person – put into the realm of the physical. But when people haven’t gone through the long pains of sculpting their bodies, can they take the sharp, quick pains of these obstacles? Gawk with Mat and Veronique as we celebrate the amateur failings into the inevitable Wipeout!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Wipeout appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Summer in America is a magnificent smorgasbord of all things wonderfully Americana. Barbeques take place on our green lawns with our white picket fences. Roller-coasters and water-slides ricket the airs of our amusement parks. The Swifties Taylor and Ladies Gaga rock our sock hops while fireworks burst in the air. And while the apple pie cools on the windowsill, there is no more quintessentially American way to pass the time than gather ’round the radio and tune into the local boys playing the Great American Pastime! Yessir, spend the afternoon listening to the arduous, vocal reenactments of fifty-four pop flies being caught with no need for running or excitement! Take the field with Mat and Veronique as we choke up on the striking game of Baseball!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

____________________

Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoat

Join the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible

____________________

For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.com

Grumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow your hosts: Mat | Veronique

The post Baseball appeared first on Mat Labotka.