First up, we’re dialing into Trump’s latest obsession: the National Guard hotline. Why is the ex-president suddenly in love with camo-clad muscle, and what does it mean for D.C.? Spoiler: it’s more than just a flex.

Next, we unpack his escalation of attacks on prominent Black Americans and the magical disappearing act of his free IVF promise—because ghosting a constitutional right is so 2025.

Then, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth goes full backward-cam era by reposting a pastor’s “women shouldn’t vote” manifesto. We’ll have receipts, reactions, and the best takedown you’ll hear all week.

Finally, in the daily war against the spider cabal, scientists have discovered tarantulas packing such extravagant genitalia that they’ve earned themselves a whole new genus. Yes, biology just got a little kinkier.

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