Guidance to Grow

No parent is prepared for a child's death. Parents are simply not supposed to outlive their children. It is important to remember that how long your child lived does not determine the size of your loss. The loss of a child is profound at every age.

You may find that you also grieve for the hopes and dreams you had for your child, the potential that will never be realized, and the experiences you will never share. If you lost your only child, you may also feel that you have lost your identity as a parent and perhaps the possibility of grandchildren. The pain of these losses will always be a part of you. Yet with time, most parents find a way forward and begin to experience happiness and meaning in life once again.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh gives advice to parents who feel like the pain is not getting any better.

Losing a loved one is one of the most significant and stressful life events that all humans must experience. Navigating grief will be different for each person but it can be really helpful to validate the sadness before trying to move through it.

Affirmations are a helpful tool for dealing with intense feelings of grief and loss. An affirmation is a declaration that brings clarity to the present moment. During difficult times, affirmations can help steady your emotions and create a more positive mindset. As you go through the grieving process, take some quiet moments to connect with yourself and use affirmations that resonate in a positive way.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh provides information on how positive affirmations can help the grieving process and some powerful affirmations that can help shift your mind.

We all have different relationships with death, shaped by our personal experiences, religious or spiritual beliefs, culture, family history and current life circumstances. The one thing we all have in common is that dying and death will be a significant part of our lives. The simple fact is that we’re all going to die, and most of us will experience losing people we love and care for during our lifetime.

While talking about death and dying might be uncomfortable or upsetting, having conversations about these subjects with family members can help us emotionally.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh shares her thoughts and experience on how to talk about death and why it's so important.

Our child’s belongings feel sacred. Letting go of them is unbearably painful. Instead, we become guardians of their possessions. We look after them as if our lives depended on it. No matter your child’s age, at some point you may well have to make this impossibly hard decision: what do I do with my child’s belongings?

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh provides parents with some advice on how to approach this painful task.

The relationship between a mother and her children is among the most intense in life. Much of parenting centers on providing and doing for children, even after they have grown up and left home. A child’s death robs you of the ability to carry out your parenting role as you have imagined it, as it is “supposed” to be. You may feel an overwhelming sense of failure for no longer being able to care for and protect your child, duties that you expected to fulfill for many years.

In this podcast, Jeanne van den Bergh shares ten things she has learned since the death of her daughter, Blyde.

The loss of children is a pain all bereaved parents share, and it is a degree of suffering that is impossible to grasp without experiencing it first-hand. An out-of-order death such as child loss breaks a person (especially a parent) in a way that is not fixable or solvable. We will learn to pick up the pieces and move forward, but our lives will never be the same. Every grieving parent must find a way to continue to live with loss, and it's a solitary journey. In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh shares her own story of losing her daughter.

The decision to terminate a pregnancy can be complex and may be influenced by many factors, including a woman’s values, beliefs, relationships, work and study goals, financial stability, age, existing family size and cultural background.

 

It is very common for women to have mixed emotions at the same time and for these feelings to change over time. Women may also experience both positive and negative feelings together.

For some women a pregnancy termination will mean experiencing feelings of loss. A sense of loss may come from the reasons you decided to terminate the pregnancy or from other things that happened at the same time. For example, a relationship break-up, being isolated from people who can support you, or loss of trust in friends, family and partners.

 

Experiencing a sense of loss may involve grieving. Grieving is a process that all people need to go through to deal with any kind of loss. Honouring the grieving process allows you to explore meaning in the pregnancy and to incorporate your abortion experience into your life journey.

 

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh provides information aimed at assisting women who may be struggling emotionally after an abortion.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

Miscarriage is common, but that knowledge may be cold comfort if you’re coping with a recent loss. In fact, many women are surprised by the intensity of their emotions after a miscarriage. The feelings can run from shock and sadness to irrational guilt and anxiety about future pregnancies. Men, too, may struggle with feelings of loss and inadequacy. This is especially true if they’re unsure about how to help their partner through this difficult period.

 

Such feelings are perfectly normal. The emotional healing process after a miscarriage may take some time. It often takes much longer than the physical healing takes. Allowing yourself to grieve the loss can actually help you come to terms with it in the long run.

 

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh discusses some of the common feelings associated with pregnancy loss and how to deal with this difficult event.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

When someone you love can’t get past their grief, you may feel helpless, confused, and frustrated. Witnessing someone you love experience unsuccessful grief can be deeply troubling. You may feel confused about why they are stuck in their loss and unsure about how to support them when the normal rules of grief don’t seem to apply. But their grief does not need to be permanent and by developing a better understanding of this phenomenon you can learn how to help someone with complicated bereavement.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh gives tips and advice on how one can support a friend or family member who is dealing with unsuccessful grief.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.

Grief reactions after the death of a child are similar to those after other losses. But, they are often more intense and last longer. Most people experiencing normal grief and bereavement have a period of sorrow, numbness, and even guilt and anger. Gradually these feelings ease, and it's possible to accept loss and move forward.

For some people, feelings of loss are debilitating and don't improve even after time passes. This is known as unsuccessful grief. In unsuccessful grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble recovering from the loss and resuming your own life.

In this episode of Vilomah, Jeanne van den Bergh talks about unsuccessful grief and provides advice on how to navigate through the three stages of grief.

If you would like to join the Guidance to Grow Bereaved Parents Support Group and connect with other parents that have lost a child, and with Jeanne, please visit https://bit.ly/Guidance2Grow.