The girls go off for training camp, but it’s mostly Usagi crying. Michiru opts out of the entire thing, and Rei loses her planning privileges. Let the anime do more free form! In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Jet Wolf and Doc Holligay explore their other magical girl experiences! Will they ever agree on Madoka? How about that Precure? And what does America have to add? In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Nephrite has all the kids buzzing, but makes poor business decisions! Doc is bringing a folding chair and a pack of Coors. What’s with all the fanny packs and protesting, anyway? In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Shingo’s fragile masculinity leads to porcelain based tragedy! Even the doll in Jet’s garage is bad! The dub fixes a faux pas, and Rei and Michiru have an out of body experience. In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Rei’s in this episode for about two minutes, but that won’t stop Jetty! Usagi wants to be a model, but is waylaid by improbable Dark Kingdom moths and a sassy Shingo. Mamoru is actually appealing, shocking both the gay and the straight! Will Usagi survive baby’s first death of all her Senshi? Does the moral of the story make any sense? Who cares, we opened the mailbag! In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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There’s a monster on the loose, and it’s Juuban’s misappropriation of community funds! Also the pacing! Usagi never learns to stitch the great parts of this episode together, but at least Nephrite wraps himself in silk. In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Rei is either going on this date to annoy Usagi or mark off her checklist, but it sure isn’t for Mamoru’s sweet ass. But wait, when did the butterflies turn full of horrors? Also, Michiru would just buy the park and be done with it. In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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We doubt that Usagi even knows the rules of tennis, but that’s not going to stop her! Wait, does Tuxedo Mask actually do something? We try to imagine Michiru as Haruka’s subject, but the score is love-love. In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Jadeite’s on thin ice with Beryl! The Sailor Senshi walk into his cordially announced trap, but transforming is strictly second act business. What the fuck are Tuxedo Mask’s powers anyway? In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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Rei won’t let ethics or the crushing weight of compulsory heterosexuality stop her! Usagi’s vast taste in women comes into full view, but oh no! It comes with a terrible taste in men. Is that a disco ball? In the name of the moon, we’ll talk at you!

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