Guru's Tech Bytes

Good morning, it's Thursday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode one hundred twenty three.

First up, apparently there's this thing called a Discovery Loop that got like 754 upvotes on the internet today. You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of getting my hand stuck in a Pringles can for three days because I kept reaching for that last chip. Anyway, this is about teaching the robots to explore and find stuff on their own, which is great because I still can't find the zoom button on my phone.

Second, there's a whole bunch of shuffling going on over at Google DeepMind, where Demis Hassabis is stepping down from CEO to be the Chairman, and this other fella Jeff Dean is leaving entirely. Good for him, honestly, because every time my computer updates, I feel like packing up my desk too. I swear, the last time Windows updated, it deleted my folder of funny bird noises and replaced it with a calculator app I can't close. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something.

Third, Cloudflare is putting out something they're calling an OS, which is a big open floor for agents, apps, and work to mingle together like a digital cocktail party. I don't really know what an agent is, but if it's anything like the guy who sold me my boat insurance, I don't want him in my computer. But they say the platform is open, so maybe you just leave the door unlocked and let the apps eat all the digital cheese in your fridge.

And finally, something called Zed DeltaDB is out there doing its thing. Honestly, whenever I hear the word database, I just picture a giant metal filing cabinet that a robot fell into and now it's just trapped in there sorting papers forever. But Zed sounds like a cool guy name, like Zed from down at the Clam who fixes motorcycles and only drinks black coffee, so it's probably really fast and won't ask you a lot of annoying questions.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

Discovery Loop — Hacker News

Changes at Google DeepMind: Demis Hassabis from CEO to Chair, Jeff Dean departs — Hacker News

Cloudflare OS: an open platform for agents, apps, and work — Hacker News

Zed DeltaDB — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Wednesday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 122.

First up, some fella posted a memorial for his wife Elise Cawley, thanking her for thirty-six wonderful years. You know what this reminds me of? That time I told Lois I'd love her forever, but forever turned out to mean until the chicken sandwich place opened down the street. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. But seriously, it's real sweet, makes you think about your own marriage and how lucky you are she hasn't pushed you down the stairs yet.

Second, apparently Xbox went down, and now you can't even play the games you own on a disc. You know what this reminds me of? Buying a sandwich but the deli guy locks the door and watches you eat it through the window to make sure the internet is working. It's just another classic Microsoft thing, like when Windows forces an update right when you're about to beat the final boss and your whole screen turns blue like a Smurf in a blender. You own the disc, but they own you, I guess.

Third, some genius made an algorithm to generate diverse skin tones for AI, which sounds fancy but I don't really get it. If a computer needs a fancy math formula just to figure out how to color a person, how's it gonna take over the world? Skynet is gonna waste forty-five minutes trying to decide if the terminator is a summer or a winter. It's like when Brian tries to paint me and he spends three hours on the cerulean blue instead of just getting the beer gut right.

And finally, there's a PDF of an old story from 1950 called There Will Come Soft Rains. It's about a smart house that keeps going after the people are gone, kinda like how my refrigerator keeps making ice even though nobody uses it because we all just drink gas station slushies. The house does all this AI stuff, cooking and cleaning, which sounds great until you realize you're dead and the robots are just ignoring your ashes on the floor to do the dishes.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley, with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years — Hacker News

Xbox goes down. You can't play games you own on disc — Hacker News

Show HN: Simple algorithm and color space to generate diverse skin tones — Hacker News

There Will Come Soft Rains (1950) [pdf] — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Tuesday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 121.

First up, they're saying these AI computer things actually reward expertise now. Like, if you actually know what you're talking about, the AI gives you a better answer, which is weird because I asked the AI how to get a golf ball out of a drainpipe and it just told me to call a plumber. You know what this reminds me of, that time I tried to fix my own truck and ended up welding the hood shut. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. Anyway, I guess the point is the robots finally figured out that smart guys are smart, which is great because for a second there I thought my job was gonna be teaching the toaster philosophy.

Second, we got ten advances in mathematics and theoretical computer science. Now I don't know what theoretical computer science even is, is that like when you imagine a computer that doesn't crash every time Microsoft decides to update it while I'm watching the game? Because that would be a huge breakthrough for mankind, let me tell ya. But these math nerds are doing some crazy stuff, probably calculating the exact trajectory of a deep fried Oreo at the fair. Still, good for them, keeping the numbers safe.

Third, they're saying devtools must be open source. Which, yeah, obviously, because if you can't see how the thing is made, how do you know it's not just a bunch of hamsters on a wheel? I tried to build a birdhouse once from a kit that wasn't open source, and let me tell ya, the bird refused to move in. Birds are very discerning. If the code isn't out there for everyone to poke at, you're basically just trusting Microsoft not to ruin it, and we all know how trusting Microsoft works out.

And finally, Twenty Years of Pandoc. Twenty years! That's longer than I've kept a single pair of sweatpants, and I got sweatpants older than Chris. Pandoc is this thing that turns documents into other documents, which sounds like magic, but it's just really old code that keeps working. You know, unlike Windows Media Player, which just stopped playing my MP3s for no reason. But twenty years is a long time for software, so good for Pandoc, just chugging along.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

LLMs reward expertise — Hacker News

Ten advances in mathematics and theoretical computer science — Hacker News

Devtools must be open source — Hacker News

Twenty Years of Pandoc — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Monday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 120. Hey, it's Peter. I was tryin' to set up my microphone here and almost swallowed the foam cover. Tasted like a stale marshmallow. Anyway, we got a lot of computer stuff to talk about today, so let's jump right in before I hack up a lung.

First up, everybody's talking about how you shouldn't be a meat proxy. I don't know what that means, maybe when you go to the deli and the guy just stands there like meat himself? You know what this reminds me of? That time I got stuck in the revolving door at the bank thinking the glass was open. Anyway, it's about robots using your brain without paying you, which is a raw deal unless they buy me a boat.

Second, there's a new computer brain thing called Qwen3.8-Max setting a new bar for coding. It's supposed to help you work, which is great because every time I use Microsoft Word to write a grocery list, the darn thing updates for forty minutes and deletes my eggs. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. If this Qwen thing can do my job while I sit on the couch, I'm all for it, as long as it doesn't drink my beer.

Third, they issued a big scary warning for a hallucinated SQLite vulnerability. Hallucinated! I hallucinated once after eating a bad clam cake at the Drunken Clam, and swore the mailman was a giant chicken trying to steal my wallet. Turns out it was just a regular chicken. Apparently the computers are doing the same thing, getting scared of bugs that aren't real. It's like thinking there's a monster under the bed, but it's just Chris eating pizza in the dark.

And finally, somebody made an isometric pixel map of San Francisco called Isopolis. I don't know what isometric means, it sounds like an exercise machine you buy on TV and never use, but it's a giant drawing of the whole city. I wanted to go to San Francisco, but I'm afraid of the hills. I got a bad knee, and if I roll down one of those things I'll end up in the bay. It still looks neat though.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

Don't be a meat proxy — Hacker News

Qwen3.8-Max: A New Bar for Coding and Cowork — Hacker News

Critical CVE issued for hallucinated SQLite vulnerability — Hacker News

Show HN: Isopolis – Isometric pixel map of SF — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Sunday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 119.

First up, there's this whole thing about how Google killed off RSS feeds, which is crazy 'cause I used to use those to track blogs about chicken recipes. But Google just swooped in and shut down their reader, so now I gotta manually type in web addresses like some kinda caveman. It's like when Microsoft forces an update right in the middle of a rerun and your screen goes blue, and you're just sitting there in the dark. They just take stuff away from ya.

Second, I'm reading about something called Diátaxis, which is apparently some way to organize your documentation so people actually understand it. You know what this reminds me of? The time I tried to organize the garage by putting all my empty beer cans in a neat little pyramid, but then I realized the lawnmower was trapped underneath. Anyway, this thing separates tutorials from reference stuff, which makes sense 'cause whenever I read a manual, I just end up more confused. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something.

Third, there's a new AI video thing called Seedance 2.5, and I guess it makes moving pictures out of nothing. I don't really get how a computer just knows what a dog riding a skateboard looks like, but I'm into it. It's kinda like when Stewie built that machine, except this one just makes weird videos instead of nearly destroying the universe. Although, knowing my luck, I'd ask it to make a video of me winning a pie-eating contest, and it'd probably spit out a video of me on the toilet.

And finally, it turns out AI financial advice is actually pretty good, especially if you ask it the right questions. So I asked the computer how to get rich quick without doing any work, and it told me to invest in a diversified portfolio, which is just a fancy way of saying buy a bunch of stuff. Lois says we can't afford that 'cause the insurance bill is due, but I think the robot knows better. It's still better than taking advice from Quagmire at the dog track.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

How Google helped destroy adoption of RSS feeds (2023) — Hacker News

Diátaxis — Hacker News

Seedance 2.5 — Hacker News

AI financial advice is surprisingly good, especially if you ask right questions — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Saturday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 118.

First up, apparently elevators are getting smart now, which is great because I always wanted a tiny metal box judging my life choices. You know what this reminds me of, that time I got stuck in one with a guy who said he invented the word 'buffoon,' but it turns out he just really liked balloons. Anyway, they got computers running the cables now, let's just hope they don't run Windows or we'll all be stuck between floors for four hours while it installs an update.

Second, Google fixed more Chrome bugs in June than over the past two years, thanks to AI. Look, I don't trust AI as far as I can throw it, but if a robot wants to sit there and find out why my browser crashes every time I look up meatball recipes, more power to it. It's probably doing a better job than the guys at Microsoft, who just look at a bug, shrug, and tell you to buy a new laptop. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. I'm just saying, at least the Google bot is doing something productive instead of stealing my job.

Third, there's this thing called qm, some multiplayer agent harness for work. I don't know what that means, and frankly, I'm afraid to ask. When I hear 'multiplayer agent,' I think of some fella in a suit playing a video game with my tax returns. If an AI can do my work, great, but does it also have to deal with Peter from accounting stealing my lunch out of the fridge? Because if a robot steals my meatball sub, we're gonna have a real problem.

And finally, there's a big hubbub about Big Food versus the People. The big corporations are putting all sorts of weird stuff in the groceries, which is probably why my left knee sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies every time I get off the couch. It's ridiculous. You go to the store for some fresh potatoes and you need a chemistry degree just to read the bag. I miss the old days when the only thing ruining a potato was me leaving it in the oven for three hours.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

Elevators — Hacker News

Google fixed more Chrome bugs in June than over the past two years, thanks to AI — Hacker News

qm – Multiplayer agent harness for work — Hacker News

Big Food vs. the People — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Friday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 117. I was up all night fixing my computer because Windows decided to update right in the middle of me watching a guy make a pool out of LEGOs. Just completely locked me out, which is typical Microsoft garbage, right? Anyway, I'm here, I drank a pot of coffee, and my eye is twitching, but let's get into the news.

First up, UEFA and its national associations will not participate in FIFA competitions. You know what this reminds me of? That time I got banned from the bowling league for using a cantaloupe instead of a ball. It's the same shape, Lois! Anyway, it sounds like the soccer guys are having a turf war, which is crazy because they run on grass. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something.

Second, Stacked PRs are now live on GitHub. I don't know what a PR is, I think it's a pull request, which sounds dirty but it's not. GitHub is just stacking code up like a big nerd sandwich. Microsoft bought GitHub, so I bet they're gonna add a feature where it just force-closes your laptop halfway through making the sandwich. That's what they do, they ruin everything.

Third, read this before you buy that TV streaming stick. You gotta be careful with these things, folks. I bought one and it was more frustrating than trying to explain to Chris why we can't eat the soap. Everything requires a subscription now, and the stick gets slower than me getting off the couch after a sleeve of Oreos. Just read the article so you don't pay twenty bucks to watch a guy fall off a skateboard.

And finally, Gemini Robotics 2 brings whole body intelligence to robots. Whole body intelligence? I barely have arm intelligence. Now they're putting brains in the whole body, which means the robots are gonna know exactly how to open my fridge and steal my Pawtucket Patriot ale. It's only a matter of time before one of them sits in my chair and refuses to move when I want to watch TV.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

UEFA and its national associations will not participate in FIFA competitions — Hacker News

Stacked PRs are now live on GitHub — Hacker News

Read this before you buy that TV streaming stick — Hacker News

Gemini Robotics 2 brings whole body intelligence to robots — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Thursday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 116.

First up, some guy made this open-source engine that runs Gemma 4 26B in 2 GB of RAM on any M-series Mac. I don't know what a Gemma is, sounds like the lady who cuts my hair, but fitting a robot brain into two gigs is wild. That's like packing a summer sausage into a pencil sharpener. It reminds me of when Microsoft forced an update on my PC and suddenly my whole hard drive was full of telemetry and regret. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. Anyway, this Gemma thing runs smooth, so good for them.

Second, we got this thing called Superlogical. I’m not entirely sure what it does, which is how I feel about half the stuff in my kitchen, but folks seem to really like it. You know what this reminds me of? That time Brian tried to explain logic to me after I got my hand stuck in the vending machine. He’s all "Peter, gravity dictates..." and I'm like "Brian, the Cheez-its are right there, just reach in!" But this Superlogical probably just makes the internet go fast, so I'm all for it.

Third, somebody found the coolest use for the Vision Pro. You know, those big goggles Apple makes you strap to your face so you can pretend you're not sitting in your living room in your underwear? Turns out people are using 'em for all sorts of neat stuff. I'd probably just use 'em to watch Jeopardy while I'm driving, which I'm not allowed to do since the incident, but that's neither here nor there. It's neat folks are finding real uses for it instead of just looking like bugs wandering around downtown.

And finally, there's this Kimi K3-256k. I think it's another one of those AI doohickeys. 256k, that's like when I used to listen to tapes on my Walkman in the 80s, except this reads a whole lot of words really fast. It probably reads the internet while I'm still trying to open a new tab on Internet Explorer. Last time I tried that, it just told me my PC is infected and to buy a new Windows license, so I kicked the tower instead. Kimi sounds a lot smarter than my computer.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

Show HN: Open-source engine running Gemma 4 26B in 2 GB RAM on any M-series Mac — Hacker News

Superlogical — Hacker News

The coolest use for the Vision Pro — Hacker News

Kimi K3-256k — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Wednesday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 115.

First up, apparently if you write on Substack you need your own website now, which is crazy because I thought the whole point of Substack was so you didn't have to. You know what this reminds me of? The time I tried to build a deck and the guy at Home Depot said I needed a foundation, and I said I already got one, it's called the ground. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something. Anyway, these writers are trying to be fancy with their AI newsletters, but honestly, just write the words before Microsoft forces you to update your browser just to read it.

Second, there's this thing called Codex Security, which sounds like a bouncer at a nightclub for nerds. It's about keeping your code safe from hackers, which is important because the last time my computer got a virus, it wasn't from a hacker, it was from a Windows update that decided my printer was an enemy of the state. I guess if you're using AI to write your code, you gotta make sure it's not writing a backdoor for some guy named Boris to steal my passwords, which are all password123 anyway, so joke's on him.

Third, we got some notes on the Kimi K3 architecture, and I don't know what a Kimi is, but it sounds like a mid-priced sedan. This is one of them big brain AI models, and they're talking about how it's built inside, which is like looking under the hood of a car except it's just math and no oil. I tried to read the notes, but my eyes glazed over faster than a donut at the Quahog police station. Still, smart folks seem to think it's a big deal, so good for them.

And finally, we're talking about Zig's incremental compilation internals, which is a real mouthful. I don't know who Zig is, but he sounds like a guy who fixes your VCR. It's about how the computer reads the code faster, kinda like how I read the Clam's menu so Lois thinks I'm literate. Honestly, anything that makes computers run faster without asking me to restart every five minutes is fine by me. Keep up the good work, Zig.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

Substack writers, you need a website — Hacker News

Codex Security — Hacker News

Kimi K3 Architecture Overview and Notes — Hacker News

Zig's Incremental Compilation Internals — Hacker News

Good morning, it's Tuesday. This is Guru's Tech Bytes, episode 114.

First up, we're talkin' about our position on open-weights models, which is a fancy way of sayin' the computer's brain is just hangin' out there for everybody to poke at, like when I left the hood of my car open and a family of squirrels built a condo in my engine block. You know what this reminds me of, wait I already said that, but apparently it means you can run the thing yourself without Microsoft peekin' over your shoulder to force an update. Heh. Hhh, okay, that's something.

Second, we got some folks benchmarking Opus 5 on somethin' called SlopCodeBench, which sounds like what comes out of the Pawtucket Brewery cafeteria on chili day, where you just scoop it on a plate and hope it doesn't melt the tray. But these guys are testin' the new AI to see how much garbage code it spits out, which is a real problem 'cause last time I asked my computer to fix a spreadsheet, it tried to delete my tax history. So yeah, checkin' the slop is probably a good idea.

Third, someone wrote in sayin' using an open model feels surprisingly good, and honestly, I get it. It's like when you buy the generic store-brand beer instead of the expensive stuff, expecting it to taste like dishwater and regret, but then it's actually pretty smooth, and suddenly you feel like a financial genius for saving two bucks. You don't have to deal with the big tech companies shuttin' down on you right in the middle of whatever it is you're doin', like those forced Windows updates that restart your whole life while playing solitaire.

And finally, there's a new Paged Out magazine out, issue number nine, and it's a PDF so you can read it on the can, which is great 'cause Lois says I spend too much time in there but I tell her it's my quiet place. It's got all sorts of nerdy programming stuff, which I don't understand a word of, but I like looking at the little pictures and formatting. You know, the kind of stuff that makes you feel smart just by holding it.

That's your daily byte. Have a great day. Until next time.

Stories covered

Our position on open-weights models — Hacker News

Benchmarking Opus 5 on SlopCodeBench — Hacker News

Using an open model feels surprisingly good — Hacker News

Paged Out #9 [pdf] — Hacker News