By Martin Grunburg
4.7
6666 ratings
The podcast currently has 608 episodes available.
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” ~ Stephen Covey
First Things First: A Football Story (Kind Of)
Picture this: it’s Sunday morning, and I’m getting some “very important work” done.
Deadlines, projects, emails—cue dramatic music—it’s all calling my name.
I’m laser-focused, in the zone.
Then, my wife comes skipping down the stairs (okay, not actually skipping):“It’s time to watch some football!”
Now, I’m not going to lie. My gut reaction? Football?! Really?!
I love football, but I knew I had to get caught up on these projects.
My inner voice insisted, “You don’t have time for this! You’ve got WORK to do!”
But then, after a poorly timed epiphany, I realized the irony. I had set out to write about “FIRST THINGS”—about putting priorities in order. Yet, saying no to football would make my wife unhappy.
Could I really write a productivity post about “first things” and then turn around and say, “No can do, wifey”?
Was I productive? Nope.
Was I effective? YES.
Did I make her happy? Yep.
And therein lies just one of the first lessons about FIRST THINGS.
Lessons in Priorities
People and Relationships > Projects and Things
Stephen Covey’s principle isn’t just about managing time; it’s about managing life—what matters most.
Few, if any, lie on their deathbed wishing they had answered more emails or finished more projects.
Almost everyone wishes they had spent more time with loved ones.
Watching football wasn’t really about the game. It was about showing my wife that she was a priority.
In the end, effectiveness always beats efficiency.
“Most people are busy, yet ineffective.”
I could’ve been “efficient,” said no, and powered through my work—but at what cost? An unhappy spouse?
True effectiveness came from trading productivity time for relationship time.
Maturity (and a few prior mistakes) are great teachers.
My younger self would’ve chosen work, believing it was the smart and responsible thing to do.
Older (and hopefully wiser) me has learned that success is less about checking boxes and more about making choices—and forging habits—that align with your values and your “ideal future.”
What Are Your First Things?
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’m reminded that gratitude and connection are our true FIRST THINGS.
Work will always be there. Time with loved ones? That’s fleeting.
One less Thanksgiving is being served up on Thursday!
So, take a moment to figure out your own “first things”—whether it’s family, friends, or simply being present.
Focus on what you value most—and be grateful for the real first things.
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For personalized instruction on the P.A.R.R. methodology, check out the upcoming 8-Day Habit Mastery Workshop—an affordable program designed to help you build lasting habits and skills. Master on-demand habit and skill development for a lifetime, and kick off 2025 with real momentum!
“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” ~Bruce Lee
Napoleon Dynamite got it right!
Between you and your big, shiny goal is a gatekeeper.
Any clue?
It’s the difference between doing and dreaming.
It’s skills.
Do you possess, at a high level, the skills your goal requires?
Identify 3-5 of the key SKILLS that your goal demands, and list them.
Here’s the kicker: skills and habits arrive together, like Batman and Robin—like salt and pepper—one invariably brings the other.
Picture this: you want to write a book, run a marathon, or play the piano like a pro. Big dreams, to be sure.
However, without the requisite skills/habits, these dreams will remain dreams.
Is playing the piano a skill or a habit?
Drum roll please: It’s both!
Skills don’t just appear; they grow out of relentless, boring, intentional practice—repetition.
How does one intentionally cultivate habits and skills?
By following the P.A.R.R. method for habit development (published within The Habit Factor®). P.A.R.R. stands for Plan, Act, Record, and Reassess.
Do you think this P.A.R.R. methodology sounds tedious?
You’re correct. It is.
It’s also where the rubber—your intention—meets the road—your actions.
It’s where progress, momentum, and ultimately greatness hide. Exhibit One: Steph Curry’s tedium. To him of course, it’s anything but tedious.
Steph teaches us that it’s the silent, stubborn act of showing up consistently, practicing that one shot or “kick” 10,000 times until you can do it in your sleep.
“You are rewarded in public for what you have intensely practiced and refined in private.” ~Tony Robbins
So, what’s it going to be?
Will you dream about your goals or practice them into existence?
Decide which skills/habits you need today to move closer to your most important goal.
Your future self is watching.
Enjoy the show!
~mg
Eager to put this into practice?
For personalized instruction on the P.A.R.R. methodology, check out the upcoming 8-Day Habit Mastery Workshop—an affordable program designed to help you build lasting habits and skills. Master on-demand habit and skill development for a lifetime, and kick off 2025 with real momentum!
Messy
Life can be a real, unpredictable mess at times.
There are things within our control—and way more beyond it. (See the Behavior Echo-System).
So, we tumble through life, tripping over our expectations, cursing when things don’t go our way, and thinking the universe owes us a smoother ride.
Here’s a quick story, courtesy of the NFL.
It’s halftime. The reporter is interviewing Mike Tomlin, the Pittsburgh Steelers' Super Bowl-winning head coach. “You’ve been inside the red zone a few times and come away with nothing but field goals. Isn’t that frustrating?”
His response: “It’s not frustrating, it’s football.”
Boom.
Without pause, Tomlin dropped a truth bomb that should be knitted on pillows worldwide.
Football comes with challenges built right in. As does life.
How many of us set ourselves up for disappointment, convinced life is supposed to be a never-ending merry-go-round of cotton candy and catchy music?
We have generations of ‘kids’ growing up (thanks to social media), floating along, expecting (happiness loop - prior episode), each day to be an easy ride.
The last time I checked, life wasn’t designed for ease and comfort - feel free to thank whatever gods you’d like for that.
The good-ish news is this; when we stop expecting ease, comfort, and smoothness, we’re braced for a bumpy ride.
When we train ourselves for difficulties, the difficulties become easier.
“No person is free who cannot command themselves.” ~ Pythagoras
Welcome to NOvember
"Who Is In Control?"
This November, H2G - Habits 2 Goals challenges you to ask one crucial question:
Who is in control?
Discipline is a Habit
“Nobody is born disciplined. It’s something you cultivate.”
Discipline is not an inborn trait.
Like any habit, discipline is cultivated through practice, it’s a habit/skill anyone can develop over time. (see Behavior Echo-System 👇)
Self-Mastery and Freedom
True freedom results from self-mastery— to choose one’s response rather than reacting impulsively.
The decision to practice discipline leads to greater freedom and autonomy.
“The choice of discipline and diligence produces freedom."
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The Behavior Echo-System
Your behaviors don’t occur in a vacuum—they’re part of your “Behavior Echo-System.” Everyone has their own behavior echo-system – an interconnected set of influencers that includes one’s environment, thoughts (stories), and emotions.
New Listener Reset: Habits & Goals Basics
Habits are NOT better than goals. Goals are not better than habits.
Understand the crucial role each play in your life and how each serve the other.
Heading into my summer hiatus, I’m leaving you with a handful of episodes to revisit and to help reset your habit tracking and goal journey.
HABITS:
"How Systems Help to Create Habits & Skills" - Discusses how systems can support habit formation.
"Discipline is a Habit" - Focuses on the role of discipline in habit building.
"Killing Negative Habits" - Offers insights into breaking bad habits using the 4 Ments!
"28 Days!" - Likely about the significance of the 28-day habit formation process.
"How to Create Any Habit" - Offers practical steps to start new habits.
"The Habit Factor: Starting Small" - Emphasizes the importance of starting small with habit formation to demonstrate self-efficacy and create momentum!
"Why Accountability Matters" - Explores the role of accountability in habit development. A tracking sheet, an accountability buddy; these are examples of environmental influencers that help to forge good, positive habits.
"Tracking Your Habits" - Discusses the importance of habit tracking in achieving goals. (See above ☝️ )
GOALS:
"Goals are Not Optional" - This episode discusses the critical nature of goal setting and why it's essential to have clear goals.
"The End is the Beginning" - This episode delves into the importance of knowing your desired outcome before setting your goals.
"2021 New Year Series: Do Not Pass Go!" - A motivational episode that emphasizes the importance of committing to your goals and tracking your habits.
“Just when the catepillar thought the world was going to end, it became a butterfly.”
Metamorphosis
Change: one of life’s great constants.
For those between 45 and 60, life often brings significant challenges: marriages end, careers shift, personal identities and appearances evolve.
After decades of laying a foundation, it may feel like it’s slipping away...
Quantum physics offers a fascinating perspective on transformation. It suggests that multiple possibilities exist in any given moment and that our focus heavily influences which 'reality' unfolds.
When one chapter ends, the story can improve if we remain open to the same curiosity and optimism that served us initially.
Fear and resistance hold us back. Acceptance and equanimity serve times of change best.
“Faith alone defends. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”~ Helen Keller
Appreciate endings as gateways to new beginnings. See losses as lessons and challenges as stepping stones.
“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” ~Abraham Lincoln
Failure Number 9
Lincoln’s quote ☝️ is a powerful and stark reminder that even the greatest among us stumble, fail, and fall flat on their faces.
Given enough time, as Ray Dalio puts it, “There are a whole host of ways that something will get you.” See image below…
This is where Lincoln’s example is proof positive that failure isn’t just a stepping stone to success; it’s an essential ingredient—a requirement.
In the realm of biophysics, there’s a concept known as the principle of maximum error*. It suggests that organisms, including humans, benefit from mistakes. It is through experimentation and failing that we learn, grow, and optimize ourselves.
Thus, Failure Number 9 or 18 or 72 isn’t a cause for despair but rather encouragement.
As long as you have the capacity to choose your response (see prior episode, Stimulus vs Response), and guide your behaviors toward your goals and ideals, you are on the path.
Sometimes when you are in a dark place you may feel you have been buried, when in fact you have been planted. ~ Christine Caine
Do your best to approach each setback as an opportunity to refine your approach, develop resilience, and discover new strengths.
Responding to failure is largely about finding a hopeful narrative. A H.E.R.O.’s narrative—one that is Hopeful, Empowering, Responsible, and Optimistic—even when the chapter you’re in feels like a tragedy.
“When you shift your perspective stories, meanings, feelings and even behaviors can change.”
Meaning as a Derivative of Perspective
Our perspective often shapes our emotions and actions.
Consider a bad breakup: Initially, it feels devastating, but years later, it might become a source of amusement.
This shift in perspective changes the meaning of the event, which in turn influences our feelings, behaviors, and outcomes.
Introducing: The Behavior Echo-System
The Behavior Echo-System, a new behavior model, illustrates how three key influencers are interconnected through our emotions and feelings:
Thinking/Story: Our thoughts and beliefs. These are the internal narratives we rely on to plan, predict, and explain events.
Behaviors/Habits/Skills: The actions we take and the habits and skills we develop.
Environment: Our surroundings, including people and places. While we can influence our environment, it also impacts us and our behaviors.
These three components continuously affect one another, creating a perpetual cycle.
Enter: Response-Ability
We can't always control what happens to us, but we can almost always choose how we respond. This is known as "response-ability."
Emotionally mature individuals often manage to choose their responses to frustrating, challenging, and stressful events.
The Power of Focus
Twain’s profound insight serves as a cornerstone for understanding the importance of focus in our lives.
Focus is about harnessing and directing our energy effectively.
Imagine a five-watt light bulb—it can barely light up a closet. But when that same energy is focused, it can cut through steel.
This is the fundamental principle behind the order of focus: selection, concentration, and then focus.
SELECT » CONCENTRATE » FOCUS
A popular method to enhance focus is the Pomodoro® Technique.
This ttechnique involves using a timer (app on a mobile device) for a specific period, such as 25 or 45 minutes, and dedicating that time solely to one task.
This method establishes a defined focus period, allowing for deep, uninterrupted work. Its simplicity and effectiveness lie in its ability to create a sense of urgency and clarity, making it easier to concentrate on the task at hand.
To improve your Habitstrength™, The Habit Factor applies the concepts of “Minimum Success Criteria” and “Target Days” for successive 28-day habit-tracking periods. Combining The Habit Factor® with the Pomodoro® Technique creates a powerful one-two punch to enhance productivity.
You can quickly transition from scattered energy to focused accomplishment.
Give it a try: track as few as three habits for 28 days and apply the Pomodoro® Technique for your focus periods.
Stimulus versus Response: A Delicate Dance of Power
Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and founder of logotherapy, once said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
…In our response lies our growth and our freedom
This profound observation has anchored much of popular psychology, a beacon highlighting our ability to govern our responses to any situation.
But let’s strip this idea down to the bone—what if the story isn’t so starkly drawn?
Learning and Growth: The Power to Respond
Frankl nails it—our power resides in how we respond.
Picture this: a student, face-to-face with a brutal exam (stimulus/environment). Their success hinges on their ability to recall what they've learned and to tame the beast of anxiety (the internal narrative in their head/response).
In these moments we learn, we adapt, and we grow.
Or, take a business leader confronting a market nosedive (stimulus/environment). Innovate or retreat (response/thoughts/behavior).
This decision shifts the company’s fate.
Overwhelming Stimuli
Frankl’s wisdom has its limits.
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