Hairy Butthole

This week, Youngmi discusses the death of her cat Donggo, whose name means butthole in Korean and who was extra hairy. She also touches on the larger topic of grief and how to strike a balance between making room for grief and getting back to living life, and parenting a child experiencing grief.

This week, Youngmi speaks with her close friend, renowned mixologist and cocktail book author, John deBary. John discusses being diagnosed with autism less than a month ago at the age of 41. He dives into a unique experience among people who receive diagnoses as adults: combing through huge events throughout their childhood and early lives and realizing how monumental the impact of their neurodivergence was in the formation of their identities. John discusses two of the most memorable events in his childhood and how they were the direct result of him having autism and his parents failing to realize that.

This week, Youngmi talks to Kate Moran (producer of Asian Comedy Fest, comedian, host of The Witchcast podcast) about her story as a Korean adoptee who succeeded in finding her birth mother. She notes how rare her experience was and discusses the strange feeling of grieving the loss of an imaginary "fairy mother" when meeting her biological mother who was, in fact, a human being with flaws. Kate reflects on how strange it was for her to search for a perfect mother all her life, only to realize no one really has one. But we all have Margaret Cho to look up to.

This week, Youngmi talks to Brittany Carney (writer, comedian, star of That is My Horse) about being part of a race that you do not appear to be. Brittany shares a story about bonding with a Japanese child at a science camp she was teaching at. As a mixed-race person of Japanese and African American heritage, she talks about the rejection she feels when Japanese people have a hard time reading her as "one of them." This is especially difficult for her as someone who was born and raised for a significant portion of her childhood in Japan and speaks Japanese as her native language. Brittany and Youngmi also discuss what the world of standup is like for women in today's world, where standup fans are more extreme and polarized than ever.

This week, Youngmi talks with Jared Goldstein (actor, comedian) about struggling to be one of the "cool kids" in high school. Jared points out that contrary to the popular trope of bullies ending up working in gas stations while the kids they bullied become successful, real-life mean kids are usually rich and subsequently do very well as adults. Jared also talks about how 99 percent of his profession is dealing with rejection and how he's learned to deal with that.

This week, Youngmi talks to Ed Pokropski (creator of Case 84: Adopted in the USA, producer of Asian Comedy Festival) about the one-person show he wrote about his adoption and subsequent return visit to Korea. Ed talks about growing up not wanting to visit Korea because of the resentment he felt about the forced narratives surrounding adoption and the idea of it being his "homeland." He also talks about having an emotional breakdown while visiting an orphanage in Korea and seeing a poster of a Korean baby being adopted by Korean parents. Youngmi relates to the feelings of being abandoned and/or rejected by a collective society because of her biracial identity.

This week, Youngmi talks to Charlene Kaye (musician/actor/creator of Tiger Daughter) about the extremely taboo topic of mother-daughter competition. Charlene talks about how her pursuit of her music/acting career was difficult for her mother to experience as someone who had to give up on her own dreams of becoming a singer as a young girl struggling with poverty in Singapore. Youngmi and Charlene discuss how both Asian cultural practices and misogyny set women and young girls up to feel competitive with each other because of the scarcity of validation. 

This week Youngmi speaks with Umeko Motoyoshi (they/them), the founder of the online home goods store Umeshiso. Motoyoshi speaks about growing up in a cult founded by their father—an environment where the adults in their community had poor boundaries and where Motoyoshi had to take on a parental role as a child. This was coupled with the exhausting masking of their autism, which led them to a suicide attempt at the age of 13. They were court ordered to attend their small town's branch of AA, which was unfortunately a branch rife with abuse, exacerbating their mental health issues further. Motoyoshi also discusses how they started an e-commerce home goods brand fueled by their passion for coffee with the experience they gained working at a tech startup.

This week, Tulika Bose (journalist) joins the pod again to discuss the tense and somewhat terrifying climate of newsrooms following Oct. 7. She talks about how the "punishment" for speaking up has fallen disproportionately on the shoulders of women of color and how journalists are being silenced due to the interests of sponsors. She touches on the ways in which the industry runs now being almost counterintuitive to sharing the truth, while discussing the positives of social media information sharing as well as the downfalls, including the spread of misinformation. Bose also shares her vision for the future of journalism: a blend of old-school investigative research and modern social media savvy. 

This week, Youngmi talks to Oak Laokwansathitaya (@notanothertree). Oak and Youngmi discuss the one year anniversary of their trip to Thailand. Oak discusses what it feels like as a Thai person going to a country known for its foreign tourist industry and how he feels protective of the people of Thailand when witnessing poor treatment at the hands of tourists.