Han and Matt Know It All

Hannah and Matt hosted Mallory Ortberg of "Dear Prudence" for the Monday episode and had so much to discuss that we split the conversation in two! This overflow is FOUR questions from DP, including two old favorites and one from a recent week:

1. Dear Prudence (April 13 2017): "Baby Name Blow-Up";
2. Dear Prudence (July 19, 2016): "42 Pearls and Counting";
3. Dear Prudence (December 8, 2016): "Don't Let It Burn";
4. Dear Prudence: "Pops, I'm Poly";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

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Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of May 21st, 2017, and beyond—and are joined this week by special guest Mallory Ortberg of the eclectic column 'Dear Prudence' of Slate!!—including:

1. The Ethicist: "I Accidentally Killed a Child. May I Get in Touch With the Family?";
2. Carolyn Hax: "A Few Tips on Gratuities and Special Orders";
3. Listener: "Transition Trouble";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of May 14th, 2017 and beyond, including:

1. Asking for a Friend: "I Have a Fancy Law Degree, But No One Will Hire Me to Do Good!";
2. Carolyn Hax: "This Wedding Plus-One Kerfuffle Just Doesn't Add Up";
3. Ask Gigi: "Can I Meet Someone IRL Anymore?";
4. Ask Dr. NerdLove: "Help, My Drunk Friend Is Hitting On Me";
5. Ask Bear: "Be Glad in Love";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of May 7th, 2017 and beyond, including:

1. Social Q's: "In-Flight Etiquette";
2. Dear Prudence (via listener Mia Wallace): "Big Love";
3. Dear Mariella (via listener Kelsey): "I Cured My Husband's Depression, so Why Can't I Now Forgive Him?";
4. Listener Alison: "Racism in Retail";
5. Captain Awkward: "How much fighting in a new relationship is too much?";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

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We have too many opinions to keep to ourselves! That is, we have too many questions and we'd like to answer more of them, so that's why you're getting Opinion Overflow. Whether you want it or not.

Listener Esmerelda asks:

"This was inspired by your February episode where you discussed the problem of people foisting books upon you, and in particular, Hannah's very particular taste and the etiquette issues that arise when they don't care for something their friend or acquaintance loves.

My problem: sometimes, when I don't enjoy a piece of media, or it's just not working for me, I tweet about it, sort of thinking aloud about why it's not working. I try to steer clear of blanket statements like, "Well, it's just OBVIOUSLY bad!" but sometimes that is my conclusion.

That part's fine. The problem arises when my real life friends behave as if I'm disliking media AT THEM. For example, "Jane" very much enjoyed Superhero Show X, but I thought it was kind of lazy in its writing, and spent a few weeks tweeting about the issues I was having. (I was pretty far behind everyone else, I wasn't giving away big spoilers.) "Jane" made some remarks about how I was spoiling her fun, and that I should stop. I wanted to argue -- I wasn't tweeting at her, or anyone else in particular, just recording my thoughts -- but I did so.

Something similar happened with another friend, "Daria", when I didn't enjoy her favorite Acclaimed Animated Series. I was puzzled as to why I wasn't into Acclaimed Animated Series, when it was so very Acclaimed, and started tweeting about the tropes it used which I didn't much care for. Daria got very angry, accused me of spoiling her fun, and ... well, it blew up from there.

(You guys may be amused to learn that Jane and Daria were also very unhappy when I didn't like A Certain Blockbuster Musical on my first listen, and said so. I did come around on a second listen, but mostly because I just love history, hip hop and wordplay. Jane and Daria for some reason see this as a sign that they swayed me into liking A Certain Blockbuster Musical, but actually I'm just very impressed by rhyme.)

These days, I try to keep my negative opinions to myself, or at least, to talk about them in other places, where people are less likely to see them. But I find that frustrating, because, as much as I love blogging and journaling, I really value that initial "thinking out loud" phase where I tease my issues out. Talking to my cat is less helpful.

I guess my question is this: is this a point of friendship etiquette that I've failed, or do my friends have the problem? Or, more likely, do we all have different but related problems? I never do this with media my friends have directly recommended to me, whereas they have been quite open about dissing stuff I've liked or loved that just doesn't work for them. Do we need to separate our taste in media from our ego and personal identities?"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

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Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of April 30th, 2017, and beyond—and are joined this week by special guest Jillian Anthony of the ever-sexy column 'Let Us Sex-Plain' of Time Out New York!!—including:

1. Let Us Sex-Plain (April 5, 2016): "How Do I Introduce My Straight Boyfriend to Butt Stuff?";
2. Let Us Sex-Plain (June 1, 2016): "How Can I Explore the Polyamorous / Swinger / Sex-Party Scene in New York City?";
3. Let Us Sex-Plain: "Is My Boyfriend Crossing a Line with His Female Friendships?";
4. Dear Prudence: "Should I Tell My Siblings Why They're Not Invited on My Group Vacation?";
5. Ask E. Jean: "I Don't Want Kids. How Can I Get People to Stop Pressuring Me Once and For All?";
6. Listener Rose: "How Do I Make Myself Believe That I'm Lovable?";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of April 23rd, 2017 and beyond, including:

1. Ask Polly: "Now That We're in Our 30s, My Friends Are Abandoning Me!";
2. Dear Prudence: "Coming Out of the Poly Closet";
3. Ask Amy: "Temporary Breakup Prompts Friend's Nasty Text";
4. Ask A Manager: "My Boss Got Drunk and Was Angry That I Couldn't Drive Him Back to the Office";
5. Listener Vicki: "Dealing with the Anxiety of a 2nd Marriage";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of April 16th, 2017 and beyond, including:

1. Dear Prudence: "Is My Friend Really Queer?";
   • S-Town;
2. Savage Love: "Dick Monsters";
3. Dear Kiki: "I Can't Get My Mind off of the Speaker of the House";
   • Little Village Mag;
   • Daily Mail: "Revealed at last: The picture of shirtless Paul Ryan that proves Romney's running mate really IS an action man";
4. r/relationship_advice: "My wife's (28/f) boyfriend (20/m) just told me he thinks buying videogames is stupid, as you can always pirate them.";
   • r/polyamory;
5. Listener Not Helen Lovejoy: "Should I Intervene on a Panhandler Exploiting Their Child?"
   • Helen Lovejoy;

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of April 9th, 2017 and beyond, including:

1. Ask APW: "How Do I Tell My Partner He Needs to Make More Money?"
2. Ask a Manager: "A Coworker Objects to My Using Gender-Neutral Pronouns to Refer to Her (And to Everyone)";
3. Ask Polly: "What Does Love Feel Like?";
4. Social Q's: "Hold Your Bark";
5. Listener: "How Do You Maintain a Healthy Optimism Balance When Applying for Jobs?";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Hannah and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of April 2nd, 2017, and beyond—and are joined this week by special guest Liza Featherstone of the quintessential leftist advice column 'Asking for a Friend' on The Nation!!—including:

1. Asking for a Friend (May 5, 2016): "How Do I Stop Harassment Without Involving the Police in a Gentrifying Neighborhood?";
2. Asking for a Friend (April 7, 2016): "I'm Putting My Kids Through College With an Evil Job—Should I Quit?";
3. Asking for a Friend: "This Divorce Reeks of Class Privilege";
4. The Ethicist: "Should a Family Member Expose Their Niece's Fake Food Allergy?";
5. r/relationships: "My wife [30F] is upset because the "baby" [5 months] didn't get her a birthday gift. I [30M] don't know whether to play along or call her out on the crazyness.";
6. Listener: "Competing for Attention";

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!