Harmony Deconstructed Podcast

Sleep is a cardinal requirement for us as human beings to function optimally. If we are sleep deprived, then many if not all of our bodily functions suffer. We become irritable, we make many errors and in the long run our health gets affected negatively.

“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” ~ Irish proverb

In various circles, sleep can easily be associated with laziness. I think this is so if it is overdone. Nancy Foldvary-Schaefer said “Sleep is not a waste of time. During sleep, a variety of biological processes take place that restore our bodies and minds.” I think when you look at it critically, there is no human being who can operate without sleep for a continuous period beyond 24 hours without it causing some serious effects to their well-being. 

Sleep is crucial but it is beneficial to ensure that by the time you sleep, your affairs are in order. Ensure that within the 24 hours allotted to you, as it is allotted to everyone, you have attended to all matters you need to. I know this is not easy to do, but it is a worthy habit to develop by all means. There are a number of references in the Scriptures to illustrate this point. In the book of Matthew 25, is written the story of the ten bridesmaids. Five were wise and five were foolish. The five who were foolish did not take enough olive oil for their lamps, but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. 

At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’ All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’ But the others replied, ‘we don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’ 

But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’ But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’ Although this story was told by Jesus to sensitize his disciples to be prepared for his unknown time of return, I think it also illustrates the importance of leaving your affairs in order before sleeping as did the wise bridesmaids. In Ephesians 4:26 we get this warning “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” So in essence, we should deal with any issues that have caused us to be angry and sort them out before going to bed. This is best. 

Speaking of the sun going down, I recall early last year watching a YouTube Video in which they described the circadian rhythm of sleep. Apparently, this is a system that runs in the background of our brain and body like a built in 24 hour clock. It is attuned to the day and night cycle. It dictates when we should be awake and when we should fall asleep. It is regulated by exposure to daylight and is meant to coincide with the natural patterns of the 24 hour day. This system works best when one has a regular bedtime and wake up time, that is going to bed when it is dark and waking up when it gets bright.  The video describes how the setting of the sun and the evening darkness signals the production of melatonin which is the sleep hormone. Scientists claim that the sleep hormone starts building up in the evening and is highest at 12am. The melatonin levels start increasing roughly 2 to 3 hours after sunset, which is when your body signals it is time to sleep. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should ensure that we have ample sleep for our bodies to regenerate and get fresh supply of energy to keep going the following day.

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Rest is crucial for us to function optimally as human beings. In modern society, there exists that feeling of wanting to keep going, to keep working and to be busy every hour of the day when we are awake. 

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop.” Ovid, Roman Poet

I recently learnt that there are seven types of rest. Oftentimes we may focus on one kind of rest, however, we may end up still tired after resting. That is an indication that we may be neglecting several of the other kinds of rest that are necessary for us to feel fully recharged. Physician and author Saundra Dalton-Smith talks about these seven kinds of rest:

1. Physical rest - this can be both passive or active. Passive rest includes sleep or a nap. Active rest involves doing restorative activities that reinvigorate the body such as yoga, massages and stretches. These help improve circulation within and flexibility of the body.
2. Mental rest - when there is so much to process mentally, and especially when we do so non stop for a long time, our minds get exhausted. One then becomes irritable, forgetful, lacks concentration, they are restless and may lack sleep or if one sleeps, they wake up still tired. For rest, schedule ample short breaks throughout the day. One can also keep a notebook or notepad to capture any thoughts buzzing in the mind throughout the day. 
3. Sensory rest - sensory exhaustion can be caused by excessive exposure to bright lights, computer or mobile phone screens, loud noises, background noises or conversations in the work area where one is trying to concentrate. These can be mitigated by shutting the eyes for a while, eye massage, switching off or unplugging electronics at the end of the day.
4. Creative rest - this happens when you take time to enjoy nature, places that invite you to have a sense of awe, peace, and calmness. Visiting such places as parks, an ocean, a waterfall, hiking up a hill or mountain can be quite refreshing. It also involves enjoying works of art. This rest is crucial for people who spend time brainstorming and solving problems. Taking this rest can give you fresh ideas or invigorate you to find solutions to the issues concerning you. 
5. Emotional rest - we may get emotionally exhausted through some encounters we have either at home or at the workplace. It does also happen when we have a difficult situation in our lives. To get this rest, you need to confide in someone. It could be a family member, friend or someone willing to listen to you and you can talk about what is going on. Sometimes listening to calming or reassuring music has worked for me in these kinds of circumstances. 
6. Social rest - socializing can be exhausting at times. There are people that naturally can exhaust you while you interact with them and there are those who can energize you. To get this rest, you need to deliberately get times with the people who energize you. These are people you feel at ease around. You can talk, laugh and just be. 
7. Spiritual rest - when you feel aloof, alone and unanchored you may need this rest. This involves taking time to connect with God, meditation, prayer and doing something meaningful for the benefit of others. This gives one a deep sense of love, acceptance, belonging and purpose. 

To get ample rest, Dalton-Smith says we need to incorporate most if not all these forms of rest in our lives. If you evaluate yourself, you may need more of a certain type of rest than another depending on which you have a deficit in.

There are warning signs that a person could be having burnout. They are as follow: A negative or critical attitude, trouble sleeping, overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, headaches, nausea, and backaches, numbness or emptiness and difficulty performing your usual tasks.

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Regret is part of the human condition, however with appropriate action, discipline and fortitude, we can reduce the effects of its sting. 

“Nembe ngamanya yadadua nanyuma” “The statement ‘I wish I knew’ always comes at the tail end of an occurrence” Taita proverb.

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we need to take action now to avoid the pain of regret later in life. We should take action in important areas of our lives such as our health, family, friends, love of God and others, and enhancing the things we are passionate about like our talents or hobbies, things we value. 
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. So said  Sidney J. Harris

I have experienced this pain of regret in a couple of areas in my life. I grew up listening to music and was amazed at how the musicians played the music pieces I listened to. I wondered from an early age if I would ever be able to play the guitar. I had two clear opportunities to learn playing the guitar that I failed to explore as a teenager. One day, I was going to visit my grandmother, who lived about half an hour up the hill from our home. On my way there, I passed by the local shopping centre to meet some friends and gather the latest news in the village.

After a while, I was ready to continue with my journey. A few metres ahead of me was a gentleman heading in the same direction. He was one of the most talented guitarists in our village. He played the guitar so melodiously to the delight of many. He played in church on Sundays and during special events organized occasionally to sensitize people on various matters. I hastened my steps, even jogged a bit to catch up with him so that we could walk together. I recall we had a conversation about life generally and more so about faith. I recall thinking to myself “here I am walking and talking with this skilled guitarist, I should ask him about how I could learn to play like him”. However, for some reason, I held back from asking the important question: how can I learn to play the guitar like you? Instead, I let the conversation continue on other subjects, important as they were, but led to a different outcome. As way leads to way, we got to my grandmother’s place. We parted ways and the gentleman went on his way to his home which was some metres further on. And that was my chance at learning guitar from this talented player that went begging. 

The second opportunity I had was of another guitarist who literally stayed next door to me for a while. You see, he was hired by my uncle to do some work and he lived there for a year or more. He played the guitar so well. He even told us that he used to play with one of the famous bands in East Africa in the 80s by the name Les Wanyika. We couldn’t verify this assertion but what was clear was that the guy was a talented guitarist. He played in our local church every Sunday much to the amazement of the congregation. So here he was, living next door, I admired his craft. Yet, I did not ask to learn from him. And just like that, after a while, he was gone and so did the opportunity to learn guitar playing from him. 

 Many years later, I have the opportunity to learn. What with the internet with many guitar teachers. I have learnt how to play a bit - as evidenced by the introductory tune to this episode - and I continue to practice to get better.   This is one of those things in my list that I wouldn’t want to regret in the future, that I did not take time to learn to play the guitar. So not all hope is lost at least in this example. And that is the hope we have, as long as you are alive, there are things you can still do to minimize the sting of regret. 

  “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.” Jim Rohn

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“True discernment means not only distinguishing the right from the wrong; it means distinguishing the primary from the secondary, the essential from the indifferent, and the permanent from the transient. And, yes, it means distinguishing between the good and the better, and even between the better and the best.” Sinclair B. Ferguson

Discernment is important for proper decision making and especially when we get to crossroads. You need to make a choice at that point. Do you go right, do you go left or do you stand and wait a while at the same spot before taking another step? This decision depends on the prevailing circumstances, the resources at your disposal and the goals you are aspiring to achieve. There is a famous poem by Robert Frost that a mentor of mine had shared with me some years back. It paints this picture of making a decision in a cross road so well:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 
I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 Discernment is also crucial when making decisions about the priorities in our lives. It could be the priorities for the day, for the week, for the month, for the year and for your entire life. What are the most important things for you to accomplish? This is a decision that is as personal as it can be. If we prioritize the less important things, in the long run, the outcome of our lives will be quite different from what it could have been. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should utilize discernment in our decision making. It will aid us in making the appropriate decisions in the various circumstances we find ourselves in as we journey through life and while we strive to achieve the meaningful goals that we are pursuing.

Discernment is crucial when we have to ascertain the correct idea to go with or the correct action to take between two or more compelling ones. As a parting shot, consider what Charles Spurgeon said “discernment is not a matter of telling the difference between right and wrong; rather it is telling the difference between right and almost right.”

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Papo kwa papo kamba hukata jiwe - Swahili proverb (The constant rubbing of a rope will cut the stone)

Grit is defined in Oxford Learners Dictionary as “the courage and strength of mind that makes it possible for somebody to continue doing something difficult or unpleasant.”It is the sustained application of effort towards achieving a long term goal. This is the ability to persevere and keep going in the face of challenges or obstacles. It does not matter how many times one gets down, as long as you pick yourself up and keep moving, putting one leg in front of the other, as they say, one step at a time until you realize the worthy goal you were aiming for. This is grit. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should persevere in the pursuit of our purposeful goals, have the discernment to know when to change strategies that are not working and to keep at it until we attain the goal. 

Like any other trait, grit or perseverance can be learned and made to grow in us through practice. I think life has been designed in such a way that we get opportunities on a daily basis to grow in our perseverance or to be gritty if you may. This is true for us human beings and it can also be observed in nature. 

Researchers have indicated that grit is one of the most important predictors of success. Angela Duckworth has done research on grit, why some individuals in similar circumstances tend to succeed while others don’t.  In her book Grit:the power of passion and perseverance, she states that what people end up achieving may depend more on their passion and perseverance than on innate talent. While notably it is not the only factor, she found grit to be a stronger predictor of high achievement compared to others like talent, intelligence and personality traits. This is the reason why, according to Duckworth, grit is so important. She suggested four ways of cultivating grit:

1. Developing a fascination about the things you do.
2. Aiming at daily improvement.
3. Having a greater purpose for what you do.
4. Having hope that things will get better if you encounter a challenge. Maintaining a growth mindset, getting better each day at what you are doing.

A warning is imperative here. It is not wise to keep forging ahead if a strategy we are using is clearly or demonstrably not working. As they say if you find yourself in a hole, the best thing is to stop digging. This requires discernment to be aware when a goal is clearly unattainable and that changing course is the best option. It is therefore important to apply grit but with the wisdom on where to apply it. As Confucius said “Perseverance is not the only ingredient to winning. You can stalk a field forever and not get any game if the field does not contain any.”

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should have grit and persevere towards achieving the purposeful goals we are pursuing. We should do so with the wisdom of knowing when to change strategies or even goals, when the strategies we are using are not working or the goals we are aiming for are realistically unattainable. 

I conclude with this quote from Jacob A. Riis “Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” 

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“Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” Aesop, Greek storyteller

The Oxford dictionary defines gratitude as “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” The Greater Good Science Center in their paper entitled The Science of Gratitude, wrote the following about definition of gratitude:

“Most people have an instinctive understanding of what gratitude is, but it can be surprisingly difficult to define. Is it an emotion? A virtue? A behavior? Indeed, gratitude can mean different things to different people in different contexts. However, researchers have developed some frameworks for conceptualizing gratitude so that it can be studied scientifically. 

For example, Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough define gratitude as a two-step process: 1) “recognizing that one has obtained a positive outcome” and 2) “recognizing that there is an external source for this positive outcome.” While most of these positive benefits come from other people—hence gratitude’s reputation as an “other-oriented” emotion— people can also experience gratitude toward God, fate, nature, etc. 

Some psychologists further categorize three types of gratitude: gratitude as an “affective trait” (one’s overall tendency to have a grateful disposition), a mood (daily fluctuations in overall gratitude), and an emotion (a more temporary feeling of gratitude that one may feel after receiving a gift or a favor from someone).”

Gratitude has immense benefits in our lives, it makes us look fondly to our past, appreciate the present and have a glowing hope for what lies ahead. For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should be grateful for the experiences we have currently and those we have had in life, those that brought us joy and those that tested our character. As Melody Beattie said “Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Note also the warning sounded by Henry Ward Beecher that “The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.” 

In my view, gratitude is a voluntary action, it cannot be forced. If it is forced, it will be something else, not gratitude. However, when there is gratitude after someone does something for another, it is like the icing on the cake, without it, it seems bare and missing some flair. It reminds me of the story where Jesus healed 10 men who had leprosy. Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem, traveling along the border between Galilee and Samaria. It reads in Luke 17 verse 12 to 19 as follows: 

“As he (Jesus) was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance  and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.  One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice.  He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”” 

In my view the 9 received physical healing, however, the one man who was grateful received extra healing, he received the healing that was even more crucial if you may, spiritual healing. He got this because of his attitude of gratitude. When we are grateful, even more is given to us. The Creator and people around us are inclined to give us more when we have a grateful heart and attitude. As the Spanish proverb goes “To the grateful man, give more than he asks.” 

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 “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” Alice Morse Earle, American Historian

At any one point our minds are usually moving to three points in time, the past, present and the future. One could be attending to some matter but at that very moment, their mind could be far off considering something from the past or in the future. The success of each action we take depends on whether we are present, both in body and mind, and focused on the action. For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should focus on the present moment, to enjoy all it offers, to explore all of its potential since it has the greatest influence on our future. 

Even though it sounds simple to focus on the present, it is quite difficult to execute. Wallace Wattles wrote “Do, everyday, all that you can do that day, and do each act in an efficient manner”. This is pretty straight forward, but I acknowledge it is very hard to do. Yet this is where the truth to successfully attaining our future goals lies. Setting plans, and doing each day, each moment, all that is required to be done. 

Wattles also said “Whatever your action is to be, it is evident that you must act now. You cannot act in the past, and it is essential to the clearness of your mental vision that you dismiss the past from your mind. You cannot act in the future, for the future is not here yet.” Wattles 

Jean de La Bruyère said “Children have neither a past nor a future. Thus they enjoy the present, which seldom happens to us.”  The little ones in many ways enjoy or seek to experience each moment. They focus on the thing that is happening right before them, at this moment. At times, this can be frustrating in that it appears their attention span is so short. Yet they are able to enjoy the moments fully and those moments that end up being terrible, can easily be forgotten, just as quickly, in most cases (except traumatic events that tend to be remembered for a long time). 

Consider this story told by Jerry Braza in the book Moment by Moment:

A mother tells a father, “Honey, would you drop the kids off at school this morning? I’ve got a lot of shopping to do and errands to run.”

“Well, dear, I’ve got a pretty hectic day myself (sigh) …  OK I’ll do it.  But hurry, up kids!”

So Dad and his children jump into the car and they’re off. The busy father glances at his watch. “Why is traffic so slow this morning? Certainly people should drive safely, not speed, but this little old man in front of us must be sight-seeing! I’ll pass him as soon as I can… take a short cut maybe … Oh, no!!”

Wouldn’t you know it! The car approaches a railroad crossing just as the lights begin to flash and the safety gate comes down. Dad’s first thought: “Darn it! We’re going to be held up by a train and be late.”

So, as Dad is fuming in the front seat, anxiously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, reviewing, in his mind, how to make up some time … a sweet, childish voice calls out from the backseat: “Daddy, Daddy, we’re so lucky! We get to watch the train go by!”

There are seemingly frustrating moments in life, which if looked at in a different light, can be delightful. 

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“Ukimficha jogoo kwenye pakacha kuna wakati atawika” Swahili proverb “If you hide a rooster in a basket, he will crow at some point.”

Accountability is an important, if not crucial quality we should embrace if we are to succeed in achieving our goals. I think in one way or another, accountability is inescapable. We can either choose to be accountable of our own volition, or circumstances may and will arise that will cause us to account for our actions or inaction. Accountability keeps us in check and ensures that we attain an inspired harmonious life.I think it is a key ingredient in attaining this way of life. 

I think there are three levels of accountability. We are accountable to the Creator, to ourselves and then to others. Regarding our accountability to the Creator,  Scripture says in Hebrews 4:13 “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.” David in Psalm 139:7-12 says of God the Creator “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.”

Accountability to the self is governed by our conscience. We may have an accusing conscience, some voice within us that tells us whenever we are doing something wrong. When we ignore these warnings we may descend into chaos. Apostle Paul talks of keeping a clear conscience in a number of his writings. In Acts 24:16, he said he tried to maintain a clear conscience before God and man. He advised Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:19 to cling to his faith and to keep his conscience clear. 

Accountability to others includes close family members, friends, relatives, bosses, colleagues, organizations etc. The levels of accountability may vary depending on the people or persons involved. So for instance you may be more accountable to a spouse as opposed to a distant relative. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should be accountable.

I recall a story of 4 students who were ill prepared for an exam after being away partying for a whole night. There was no way they were going to do the exam without failing. They decided to make up a story to tell their Professor so that they could be excused from taking the exam. They told the Professor that they had attended a wedding the previous night. On their way back to Campus, their car got a flat tyre and they had to push it all the way back. They asked if they could be allowed to take the exam some other day. 

Their Professor listened to their story and was gracious to them. He told them that their test would be rescheduled to be done three days later. The students were so grateful to the Professor for offering them a second chance. 

For the next three days, they studied hard for the exam, taking no chances to ensure that this time round, they would be so ready to tackle the exam. On the day of the exam, they showed up to their Professor’s office, beaming with confidence. They knew they would ace the exam. The Professor told them that they would each go to separate rooms to take their exam. They wondered why but were not worried since each of them was adequately prepared. 

When they each opened the exam questions, they realized there were only two questions as follows: 
Question 1. Write your name (1 point) 

Question 2. Which tyre burst? (99 points)

When we are not accountable for our daily tasks, it ends up complicating our lives and experiences in the future, akin to the students.

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“I must do something' always solves more problems than Something must be done.” unknown

I think taking responsibility has an empowering effect on us. On the other hand, looking to someone else to act, dis-empowers us, it takes the wind out of our sails if you may. It causes us to resign to our circumstances, environment or fate. The mantra becomes ‘things never change or things will remain the same’. Yet the opposite is true. As it has been said, the only constant thing is change.”

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should take responsibility for the outcome of our lives. As it is, we cannot change the past, but we can change or influence the future by the actions we take now. So each present moment has the potential to change our future positively or negatively depending on the action or actions we take. 

Brian Tracey in his book the Power of Self-discipline said “The failure to accept responsibility and the attempt to foist responsibility for things in your life that make you unhappy onto other people, institutions, and situations completely distort cause and effect, undermine your character, weaken your resolve, and diminish your humanity. They lead to making endless excuses.”

Similarly, Jack Canfield in his book the Principles of Success said “If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings - everything! That is not easy. In fact, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don’t like. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, our coworkers, our spouse, the weather, the economy, the government, our astrological chart, our lack of money-anyone or anything we can pin the blame on. We never look at where the real problem is - ourselves.”

There is a story told of employees who were looking into a mirror. One day all the employees arrived at work to find a notice at the door that said “The person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away yesterday. We invite you to join the funeral session in the gym room.” At first each employee was sad to hear the news of the passing of this colleague. However, after a while, they were curious to know who this individual was, who had been hindering their growth and the growth of the company. 

When the employees had all gathered for the funeral, they all got a chance to go look into the coffin. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone was thinking: “Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?” One by one the employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they suddenly became speechless.  They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. You see there was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see themselves.

There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth in this company: it is YOU.” You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, and the realization of your success. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your partner changes, when or your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we must not let our past, our current circumstances or our environment rob us of the power to act in one way or the other.

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“A heart at war needs enemies to justify its warring. It needs enemies and mistreatment more than it wants peace.” The Arbinger Institute

It is apparent that at any one point, we are either operating with a heart at war or a heart at peace. The outcome of our actions will be quite different depending on the heart behind the actions we take. When we act with a heart at war, our actions tend towards chaos, on the other hand,  when we act with a heart at peace, our actions tend towards harmony. In the book The Anatomy of Peace, the Arbinger Institute refers to these two kinds of hearts as the way of being. They indicate the following: 

 With a Heart at peace - you see others as PEOPLE. People with hopes, needs, cares,  and fears as real to you as your own. 

With a heart at war - you see others as OBJECTS. They are obstacles on your way, vehicles to achieve your ends, irrelevancies, inconsequential etc.

So the outcome of our actions, as we interact with others, is largely influenced by the our state of being. Whether we are having a heart at peace or a heart at war. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should aim to operate with a heart at peace. Yes we may have a heart at war from time to time, for that is human nature, but it should not be lost to us to be aware and gravitate back to the heart at peace. 

The good news is that, our Creator has given us capability to have a heart at peace even in the midst of war. Whether that be a physical war, a mental war, relational war, economic war  or any other form of war.  There are a couple of examples from history and in current times that show this is possible:

There is a story in the book The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute, about a historical figure Saladin. “In June of 1099, Crusaders from the West laid siege to Jerusalem. After forty days, they penetrated the northern wall and flooded into the city. They slaughtered most of the city’s Muslim population within two days. The last of the survivors were forced to carry the dead to mass unmarked graves, where they piled the corpses in heaps and set them on fire. These survivors were then either massacred or sold into slavery. 

The Jews, although not so numerous, fared no better. In the Jewish quarter, the inhabitants fled to the main synagogue for refuge.  The invaders barricaded the exits and stacked wood around the building. They then torched it, burning all but the few who managed to escape. These people were slaughtered in the narrow streets as they attempted to flee. 

The brutality extended as well to the local Christians who officiated at Christian holy sites. These priests were expelled, tortured, and forced to disclose the location of precious relics, which were then taken from them...After taking Jerusalem in 1099, the Crusaders took control of most of the coastal areas of the Middle East. They continued to hold these regions for about eighty years.” Around 1187, Saladin managed to unite all the Muslim peoples from Syria to Egypt and mobilized their collective resistance. His armies recaptured Jerusalem in 1187. “Militarily, politically, and in every other way, Saladin was the most successful leader of the period. His successes were so surprising and total that historians sometimes invoke luck and good fortune to explain them.” Saladin’s invasion of Jerusalem was different in comparison to that of the Crusaders. “In the spring of 1187, after the Crusaders had broken a truce, Saladin called upon the forces of Islam to gather in Damascus. He planned to march against the occupiers in a unified effort and drive them from their lands. 

Saladin sprung a trap on the Western forces near the Sea of Galilee. A few escaped, including a leader named Balian of Ibelin. Balian escaped to Tyre, where via messenger he made a

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