“He who everyday is not conquering some fear, has not learnt the secret of life” Ralph Waldo Emerson

As human beings, we face fear on a daily basis, whether that be real or imaginary fear. It is part of the human condition. So for us to make progress, we must learn to deal with fear correctly and master it. If fear is left unchecked, it can have a debilitating effect on us, hampering us from making progress towards our goals. However, if we learn to deal with it correctly, it can enable us not only to survive, but to thrive. So for us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should gain and sharpen the quality or character of dealing with fear appropriately to ensure we thrive in whatever activities we engage in. 

We need to find ways of understanding the fear that assails us and learn how to react or how to deal with it. As the Russian proverb says “fear the goat from the front, the horse from the rear, and man from all sides”, we cannot deal with the objects or sources of our fear the same way. 

“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat” Napoleon Bonaparte

It is therefore important that we understand fear. Some scholars have put together categories of fear. 

There are three basic types of fear. Rational fear, primal fear and irrational fear.

Rational fear - this happens when there is real, actual or imminent danger. For instance when someone brandishes a gun at you or you fall and slide towards a cliff or the edge of a roof on a tall building. 

Primal fear -  this is natural fear, it is fear that is programmed into our brains. It comes with the package if you may. It is such fear as fear of other creatures like snakes, scorpions, spiders etc. It helps us survive by ensuring we stay away from such creatures that can kill us. 

Irrational fear - these are fears that do not make logical sense. They vary from person to person. These are fears such as the fear of shadows, fear of clowns, fear of falling asleep, fear of bathing. 

Dr Karl Albrecht has described 5 categories of fear out of which he says all other fears come from or fall into as follows: 

1. Extinction—the fear of annihilation, of ceasing to exist. This is a more fundamental way to express it than just "fear of death" The idea of no longer being arouses a primary existential anxiety in all normal humans. Consider that panicky feeling you get when you look over the edge of a high building.
2. Mutilation—the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure; the thought of having our body's boundaries invaded, or of losing the integrity of any organ, body part, or natural function. Anxiety about animals, such as bugs, spiders, snakes, and other creepy things arises from fear of mutilation.
3. Loss of Autonomy—the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control. In physical form, it's commonly known as claustrophobia, but it also extends to our social interactions and relationships.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The "silent treatment," when imposed by a group, can have a devastating effect on its target.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the self; the fear of the shattering or disintegration of one's constructed sense of lovability, capability, and worthiness.

Dr. Albrecht says that “When we let go of our notion of fear as the welling up of evil forces within us and begin to see fear and its

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“Smooth seas make no skillful sailors” African proverb

Failure is an illusion because we make a big deal out of it. It is a natural thing that happens to all human beings. No one born of a woman has never failed. Yet we make failure more than it should be, it is a way of learning how not to do something, yet we turn it into a labeling venture. “He is a failure” “I am a failure” “She is a failure”. This should not be. We also look at people who are successful in life and label them “he is a success, she is a success”. It is important to recognize both failure and success, however, we make an error in assigning ourselves or others labels based on these two titles. You see if you accept the label of a failure, then there is no point in trying. It becomes a self-fulfilling label. I think these two exist together in some way. Each person with a successful story, has had numerous failures before achieving the success. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should view failure for what it is, a feedback mechanism, to tell us whether we are on the right path or not period. It is not a label. 

I think if you examine the life of most if not all highly successful people, you will discover that they have endured a lot of failure in their life as well. They have learnt to take important lessons from their failures so that they can improve and increase the chances of attaining their goals. Famous people like Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Michael Jordan, Mohammed Ali, George Foreman, Steve Jobs, Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey and the list goes on and on, they all have had to endure failures to get to success in their endeavours.

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“Imagination is the soil that brings dreams to life.” Anonymous

Imagination is a crucial part of the human experience. Our Creator endowed us with the capability to imagine. Some authors like Dr. Maxwell Maltz have made assertions that imagination is the quality that differentiates human beings from animals. He wrote the following in the book Psycho Cybernetics:

“We often overlook the fact that man too has a success instinct, much more marvelous and much more complex than that of any animal. Our Creator did not short-change man. On the other hand, man was exceptionally blessed in this regard. Animals cannot select their goals. Their goals (self-preservation and procreation) are pre-set, so to speak. And their success mechanism is limited to these built-in goal images, which we call "instincts."”  Thinking about this, I wonder what goes on in a lion’s mind as it is chasing a Zebra or what goes on in a Zebra’s mind as a Lion is chasing it. Do they both think of the outcome of the chase? Survival or perishing? It may be difficult to figure this out. 

Dr. Maltz continues as follows “Man, on the other hand, has something animals haven't —Creative Imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator. With his imagination he can formulate a variety of goals.Man alone can direct his Success Mechanism by the use of imagination, or imaging ability.”

Imagination, just like any other attribute, tool or goods available to human beings, can be beneficial or harmful, depending on how it is used. You can use imagination to aid you in achieving the creative goals you are pursuing. However, imagination can be harmful if we use it to overly dwell in things such as fear, worry, anxiety, jealousy, envy, bitterness and the likes that can well up in us. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should use imagination in pursuing our creative goals. The way we can do this is to imagine the result of our goal as it would be when it is accomplished. To see in our minds eye the goal fulfilled and experience all the joy, exhilaration and confidence it gives us having accomplished the goal. This is in keeping with what Jesus said in Mark 11:24 “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” Once you capture that mood of how you would feel once your goal is accomplished, then carry on with your current endeavours with that mood. This may be difficult to do initially, but as with anything, with practice, it becomes better. 

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“When a tree’s shadow is bent, straighten the tree, not the shadow” African proverb

This proverb shows that when seeking to change something, the better strategy is to go at the core of the problem or issue. In human beings, to deal with issues visible on the outside, the best strategy is to change from within. When the inside is changed, the outside will follow suit. One of the internal components we can seek to change within is the self-image. 

Self-image is the internal view we hold about ourselves and it influences how we behave or how we carry ourselves. It consists of descriptions we hold about ourselves such as strong, brave, weak, cheerful, able, kind etc. It influences how we interact with others. It also has a big impact on whether we will succeed on any goals we are striving to achieve. 

In his book Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz said this about self-image: 

“The "self-image" is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior. But more than this. The "self-image" sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand the self-image and you expand the "area of the possible." The development of an adequate, realistic self-image will seem to imbue the individual with new capabilities, new talents and literally turn failure into success.”

For us to lead an inspired harmonious life, our self-image, has to be in line with our authentic self-image. It has also to align with the goals we are pursuing, if we are to achieve them. The more our self-image is aligned to the creative goals that we are pursuing, the more inspired and harmonious a life we will lead. The healthier our self-image is, the more aligned our goals are to this self-image, the more inspired and harmonious a life we will have. 

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“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar

Learning or sharpening the skill of having goals and achieving them will enable us to lead an inspired harmonious life. We can set goals that are of two general categories. We can set goals in the competitive plane and goals in the creative plane. Having goals of a competitive nature means, in most cases, by you winning, someone else losses or gets vanquished. Setting goals in the creative nature means that when you win, many others win or benefit from your achieving that goal. 

The author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn said “If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.”

I think you become better by all counts while striving towards achieving your goals. It changes you for the better whether you succeed or not. If you do not succeed, you learn how to improve so that you can reach your goal in subsequent attempts. 

When you have a goal, something you are striving towards, it gives you focus and balance. Suddenly you know what things, people or activities support you towards achieving your goal or goals and which ones don’t. You get the clarity to say yes and the courage to say no to those things that do not aid you to reach your goals. 

I think setting and achieving goals is like learning to ride a bike.

So for us to achieve an inspired harmonious life, we cannot afford to operate without goals. The goals give us balance, a focal point and the encouragement to keep moving forward. Once you achieve a goal, it is time to set another one in its place. 

So do you have a goal or goals you are working towards? If you do not have a goal, today may be that day to set one. If you have a goal, I encourage you to keep working on it, you will achieve it, if you do not give up!

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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

By pursuing self-knowledge, we can begin to scratch the surface of that which lies within us. Cambridge Dictionary defines self-knowledge as an understanding of yourself and your abilities. It is crucial to have self-knowledge for us to foster harmony in our lives. If we lack self-knowledge, we will operate mindlessly, being tossed about aimlessly by the circumstances we encounter or we end up groping around for clues as though in the dark of night. 

Part of self-knowledge is also being aware and content about things that are beyond our ability. David in the Psalms says “such matters are too wonderful for me to look into” . The prayer of serenity also speaks to this. It goes as follows:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

There are a number of theories, methods and categorizations that have been developed over the years to help us know and understand ourselves. I will look as some of these methods or categorizations below:

1. Extrovert or Introvert - people can broadly be categorized in these two ways. You are either one or the other. By way of description, an extrovert gets energized by being around other people, an introvert gets energized by being in contemplation on their own. Being away from people drains the energy of an extrovert while being around people drains the energy of the introvert. 
2. The four temperaments - these are Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy and Phlegmatic. This is a further breakdown of the aspects of being extroverted -sanguine and choleric or being introverted - Melancholy and Phlegmatic. Each individual is unique and has any combination of these four temperaments with some being more dominant than others. 
3. The four temperaments have been broken down further into 16 personality types by work done by Carl Jung,Myers Briggs, David Kiersey. There are tools based on the Jung and Kiersey theories that aid people to figure out their personality types. 

I think knowing one’s personality type is a good way to start in the journey to self-knowledge. Having self-knowledge enhances our prospects of living an inspired harmonious life. You will begin to understand why you behave the way you do, your strengths and your weaknesses. It will enable you to have understanding and empathy towards others. You will understand that we are all different and we view things differently. However, fundamentally, you will see that you are unique and valuable once you have self-knowledge. 

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“Self conquest is the greatest of victories” Plato, Greek Philosopher. 

I define self conquest as the ability to control and influence ones’ matters or affairs, to move in the direction of his or her purposes and to achieve their goals. 

I think the greatest obstacle to achieving an inspired harmonious life is ones’ self. It is therefore crucial for us to conquer or master the self if we are to live an inspired harmonious life. 

Self conquest is comprised of a myriad of components. One such component is self control. The book of Proverbs in Chapter 16:32 says “One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And one who rules his spirit, than one who captures a city.”  It is a powerful thing to be able to control one’s spirit and one’s passions if you may. I recall a certain advert  by Pirelli Tyres that would run on the Television some years ago, it ended with this adage “power is nothing without control”. If you think about it, everything we have access to or that is in nature can be useful or dangerous. It is useful if it is controllable, it is dangerous if it is uncontrollable. Take fire for instance, under control, we use it to do good stuff like cooking meals, when it goes out of control, it destroys, burns up people, burns buildings, forests etc. Same goes for water, if it is under control, we use it to drink, wash, irrigate farms, run industries, however if it is out of control, it is disastrous. It causes floods which destroy buildings, kills people and destroys entire cities. 

I think there are two ways to achieve self conquest. The proactive way or the catastrophic or challenging  way. The catastrophic way is one where a momentous occurrence causes one to make sweeping changes to make progress and survive.

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Prevention is better than cure. This is a saying that is used mostly in medical circles. However, I think it applies in most situations including conflict. A similar Swahili saying goes as follows “Usipoziba ufa, utajenga ukuta”. In English, it means if you do not repair a crack, you will end up building the entire wall. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should seek, as much as possible, to act or take precaution in advance to prevent bad effects that would come later on as a result of unaddressed conflict.

There is a gradual increase in the effects of conflict in our lives as time goes by. The incremental effects happen in such aspects as time, money, effects to our health and damage to relationships:

•  In the aspect of time, prevention of conflict takes seconds or minutes, but if it goes unaddressed it could take years to resolve. 
• In terms of money, dealing with conflict early on is mostly free, but if it is unaddressed for long it could cost millions to deal with. 
• In the aspect of health, dealing with conflict is free early on, however, if it is not addressed, the stress can result in medical issues that could cost millions to address. 
• In relationships, whether they be personal or business relationships, preventative measures are mostly free, however if a conflict emerges which goes unresolved for a long time, the relationship may end. 

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Harmony Out of Chaos

“Amani haiji ila kwa ncha ya upanga!" This is a Swahili saying translated in English it means, there is no peace without war. Not that I advocate for war, but I use this to illustrate that, in essence, one does not arrive at a peaceful state of affairs without some form of struggle. An English proverb that portrays a similar meaning is “smooth seas make no skillful sailors.” This saying is commonly used to portray how we must go through difficulties or struggles in order to achieve a peaceful or harmonious existence.

Conflict is part of the human condition. It is a fact of life, and everyone is bound to experience it from time to time. 

For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should not refrain or hold back from dealing with conflict in our lives. We should be invested in gaining skills first of all to prevent conflict and secondly skills to deal with conflict when it eventually arises. 

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“The apple doesn't fall far from the tree” English proverb. This saying has been used to express the view that children take the traits of their parents. Either they look like their parents, behave like their parents or do the things their parents do. 

We are made in the image of God, the Creator. He calls us to exhibit qualities similar to the ones He has. To have the same character as He does. He says in the Scriptures that we should be holy, perfect, loving, kind, just, generous, forgiving just as He is.

I was thinking about this the other day and it occurred to me how our bodies have some qualities that are similar to those of the Creator. Listen to this,  I see the following similarities: 

• The Creator or God reveals Himself to us human beings in three ways in what is described in Christianity as the Holy Trinity: The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Similarly, like I explained in Episode 2, I think our bodies can be viewed in three levels: the Outer body, the inner body and the most inner(invisible) body. 
• Our subconscious mind is always at work just like God is always at work as Scripture says. In John 5:17 when Jesus was questioned about working during the Sabbath, he responded by saying his Father is always working. In Psalm 121:3-4 Scripture describes God by saying that He never slumbers or sleeps. 
• Our souls and spirits are invisible and can exist eternally just as God does. 

I should be careful to sound a warning here. We should be like God but not God. We should embody and exhibit His qualities and characteristics but not assume or take His position. We should hold firm to the saying let man be man and God be God. Being a law unto ourselves is the highest form of pride in my view. As the saying goes, pride comes before a fall, if we set ourselves as god, then we will definitely descend into a chaotic life. Harmony therefore is found in the balance of being like God but not being God.

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