May 21, 2026

Having It All Is A Myth

14 minutes

This week, Kelly and Jessica blow up the "having it all" story — where it came from, why it keeps getting a makeover, and what they actually think. From the career-and-family narratives of the 1980s to today's softer language of "intentional living" and "alignment," the pressure for women to thrive in every area of life simultaneously is still very much alive. Jessica and Kelly unpack why this framework is both a myth and a trap — and what a richer, more honest version of a full life actually looks like.

What We Cover in This Episode

Where the "having it all" phrase came from and how it has evolved over decades

Why the new language of intentional living and alignment can feel just as suffocating

Shonda Rhimes' honest take on thriving at work while feeling like you're failing at home — and why that's not actually failure

Jessica's personal story of dreams in seasons: pausing, pivoting, and building at different times in her life

Why a good life doesn't have to be a simultaneous one — it can be sequential

How comparison triggers the "something is missing" feeling — and what to do when you catch it

The reframe: happiness is a choice, not a result of the right circumstances

Kelly's real-time comparison spiral at a baseball game and how she worked through it

This week's Brighter Moves: naming the "everything standard" and asking what season you're actually in

This Week's Brighter Moves

Kelly's Move:

Notice a moment this week where you're measuring your life against an invisible "everything" standard. Just name it out loud to yourself: "I'm comparing my life to an everything list right now." That awareness alone is more useful than any strategy.

Jessica's Move:

Ask yourself: what season am I in right now — not the ideal life, but this season? What does this season actually call for? Give yourself permission to let that be enough. And if you find yourself waiting to be happy until things are more arranged, try choosing it today instead. Do one small thing today that's just for you — not earned, just a moment to choose happy.

Free Download This Month

Grab the Real Over Perfect Weekly Check-In — five questions, five minutes, once a week. It's free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter.

Coming Up Next Week

We're closing out May with our Still Figuring It Out segment. Kelly and Jessica both share something real about sliding back into old roles, old patterns, and old versions of themselves they thought they'd outgrown — and how they keep moving forward anyway. Don't miss it.

Connect With Us

Website: chasingbrighter.com

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YouTube: @ChasingBrighter

Blog: chasingbrighter.com/blog

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By Jessica Colarco and Kelly Fox

2222 ratings