Mattie Mae Motl is a Bible scholar who specializes in gender and sexuality, and her work sits right at the intersection of faith, doubt, and curiosity. In this episode, Mattie shares what first sparked her deconstruction and the moments that led her to question some of the beliefs she once held about the Bible. We talk about the tension of studying scripture deeply while also confronting the fact that parts of the Bible may not be historically accurate.

Mattie also opens up about what it’s been like navigating faith and deconstruction within her marriage, especially when she and her husband no longer believe the same things. Despite the questions and uncertainty, she explains how she has found a way to maintain her faith while holding space for nuance, complexity, and ongoing growth.

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Mattie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mattiemaemotl

Mattie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/mattiemaemotl/

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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Cora Lakey has been documenting her healing journey on TikTok after choosing divorce during a season when she thought she and her husband would be trying for a baby. She knew it was the right decision, but that didn’t make it easy. In this episode, she shares what it was like to hold both certainty and heartbreak at the same time, and how painful it was when her ex mother in law, someone she truly saw as a mom, was the one who served her divorce papers.

We talk about the red flags she wishes she had paid attention to before getting married, why learning to trust your gut can change everything, and what rebuilding looks like now. Cora also shares about her time as a Disney princess at Disneyland, from the audition process to what the job was really like. Today she is starting over with her two dogs, her creativity, and a deeper sense of self.

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Cora’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coralakey

Cora’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/cora.lakey/

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

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In this Q&A episode of Healed-ish, I’m answering your most frequently asked questions about religious trauma, purity culture, and deconstruction. We talk about faith, healing, unlearning fear, and navigating life after high-control religion. And yes, we also address the very important question of how good the Disney World burger actually was.

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Brandon’s Band: Desert Sky - https://open.spotify.com/artist/4aKBlpa9KSi1LAoCwiMQID

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

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In this episode of Healed-ish, I’m joined by my husband Brandon for the first time!

Brandon was raised Catholic in a small church and has only positive memories of his faith. He was never threatened with hell, taught purity culture, or taught to associate love with fear or obedience. His experience with religion is very different from mine.

We met just a few months after I left an abusive marriage and a high-control religious environment. I was deeply wounded, and Brandon loved me without trying to fix me or rush my healing. He gave me safety and showed me what a relationship without shame or control can look like. We talk about what it’s like to love someone with religious trauma and how our faith upbringings shaped our relationship.

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Brandon’s Band: Desert Sky - https://open.spotify.com/artist/4aKBlpa9KSi1LAoCwiMQID

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

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*CW* sexual clergy abuse, spiritual abuse, and grooming

Sarah joined Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry searching for healing and closeness to God, eventually interning for a leader who spiritually adopted her into his family. What was framed as care and spiritual fatherhood created a deep imbalance of trust and authority that later shifted in ways Sarah did not experience as consensual or mutual, despite being publicly framed as an “affair.” In this episode, Sarah shares her story in her own words and reflects on the manipulation, grooming, and power dynamics. She shares how they impacted her safety, relationships and identity. This conversation centers her perspective and the long-term effects of unchecked spiritual authority.

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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Abigail grew up in the Church of God, spending multiple days a week at services, youth events, and church gatherings. Many of her memories from that time are genuinely sweet and full of community and belonging, even though there were also moments that were not so simple. As a teenager, she began writing love letters to her future husband, hoping that one day she could give them to him as a meaningful gift. Years later, she rediscovered those letters and started reading them aloud to her now husband on TikTok. 

In this episode, Abigail shares how her perspective began to shift after working for a nonprofit and educating herself in new ways, which slowly led her into deconstruction. We talk about what it feels like to revisit your younger self with compassion, how faith can evolve over time, and where she finds herself now. 

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Abigail’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/fabigailinsta/

Abigail’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabigail11

Abigail’s Podcast: https://www.tiktok.com/@readirectpodcast?lang=en

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CW: This episode contains discussion of childhood abuse, cult involvement, exploitation of minors, and human trafficking.

Kim Kelley was raised inside one of the most infamous high-control cults of the 20th century, formerly known as the Children of God and later rebranded as The Family International. Raised largely by the community rather than her mother, who was a high-ranking leader, Kim grew up in an environment where abuse, manipulation, and exploitation were normalized and reality itself was shaped by indoctrination. As she explains, when you are raised in a cult, you do not know anything else. Red is blue and blue is red.

As a child and young teen, Kim spent years on the streets of Houston fundraising for the cult, unseen and unprotected. In this episode, she shares how she eventually escaped, unlearned the world she was raised in, and built a life beyond survival. Today, Kim works to combat human trafficking by training law enforcement to recognize red flags and better protect vulnerable children.

Note: This episode discusses how sexuality and LGBTQ+ identities were used as tools of control within a cult. The perspectives shared are fully affirming of LGBTQ+ people and communities and are intended to highlight hypocrisy, abuse of power, and harm within high-control systems.

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Kim’s website: ⁠http://TheKimKelley.com⁠

Kim’s TikTok: ⁠http://tiktok.com/@thekimkelley⁠ 

Kim’s Instagram: ⁠http://instagram.com/the_kim_kelley⁠ 

Kim’s Non-profit:

⁠DigitalDefendersUnited.org⁠

⁠https://www.youtube.com/@DigitalDefendersUnitedInc⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/digitaldefendersunited⁠

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@digitaldefendersunited⁠

⁠https://www.facebook.com/DigitalDefendersUnited/⁠

⁠https://x.com/DDUnonprofi⁠

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Patreon: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠⁠

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CW: This episode contains discussion of childhood abuse, cult involvement, exploitation of minors, and human trafficking.

Kim Kelley was raised inside one of the most infamous high-control cults of the 20th century, formerly known as the Children of God and later rebranded as The Family International. Raised largely by the community rather than her mother, who was a high-ranking leader, Kim grew up in an environment where abuse, manipulation, and exploitation were normalized and reality itself was shaped by indoctrination. As she explains, when you are raised in a cult, you do not know anything else. Red is blue and blue is red.

As a child and young teen, Kim spent years on the streets of Houston fundraising for the cult, unseen and unprotected. In this episode, she shares how she eventually escaped, unlearned the world she was raised in, and built a life beyond survival. Today, Kim works to combat human trafficking by training law enforcement to recognize red flags and better protect vulnerable children.

Note: This episode discusses how sexuality and LGBTQ+ identities were used as tools of control within a cult. The perspectives shared are fully affirming of LGBTQ+ people and communities and are intended to highlight hypocrisy, abuse of power, and harm within high-control systems.

-

Kim’s website: http://TheKimKelley.com

Kim’s TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@thekimkelley 

Kim’s Instagram: http://instagram.com/the_kim_kelley 

Kim’s Non-profit:

DigitalDefendersUnited.org

https://www.youtube.com/@DigitalDefendersUnitedInc

https://www.instagram.com/digitaldefendersunited

https://www.tiktok.com/@digitaldefendersunited

https://www.facebook.com/DigitalDefendersUnited/

https://x.com/DDUnonprofi

-

Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

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 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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* CW* Eating disorder recovery, OCD, intrusive thoughts

In this episode of Healed-ish, I sit down with Rihanna, who attended Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry with me back in 2012. Raised in a conservative Christian home and shaped by purity culture, Rihanna eventually found her way to Bethel, where she had meaningful spiritual experiences but also quietly relapsed into an eating disorder while working in a health-focused Internship. After moving to Los Angeles, she began healing her relationship with food and her body, and during the 2016 election season started deconstructing her faith as she wrestled with Christian nationalism and the version of God she had been taught. Today, she still loves Jesus, but on her own terms.

We also talk about her recent OCD diagnosis and living with intrusive thoughts, what it has been like to finally understand her brain, and how she is working to break the stigma around mental health and eating disorder recovery online. We reminisce about the quirky, funny, and complicated parts of life at Bethel, the highs and the lows, and what healing has looked like on the other side.

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Rihanna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thediaryofrihanna/

Rihanna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thediaryofrihanna

Rihanna’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RihannaTeixeira

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

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 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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Danielle grew up in a non-denominational church and, like many teenagers, found community and belonging through her local youth group. It was there that she met James, the youth director who would slowly become one of the most important people in her life. What began as mentorship and friendship quietly shifted into something far more complicated. Over the years, James groomed Danielle through one-on-one time, emotional intimacy, gifts, and letters that blurred boundaries. At the time, she believed they were simply best friends.

After Danielle’s story went viral on TikTok, she’s continued to process the grief of reframing memories that once felt safe and meaningful. In this episode, we talk about the unique pain of healing from grooming when it doesn’t look like what people expect, the confusion of realizing harm years later, and what it takes to untangle love, loyalty, and betrayal. This is a conversation about power, manipulation, and the long road to trusting yourself again.

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Danielle’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/daniellerose143/

Danielle’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellerose143_

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

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 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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