Healed-ish

Johnny spent more than a decade involved with Expression58, a charismatic church in Los Angeles where he thought he had found something beautiful: a creative community, a sense of purpose, and eventually a career in ministry. Along the way, he worked under prominent prophetic minister Shawn Bolz.

Johnny shares what it was like to work with Shawn from inside the charismatic world, the cracks that eventually began to form, and what happened when he started questioning the beliefs and ministry culture he had once trusted. We talk about the controversy surrounding Shawn’s prophetic words, Johnny’s own deconstruction, and where his beliefs have landed today.

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Johnny’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/johnnygiovati/

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

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Comedian Hannah Beck joins me to unpack the lore behind her viral “Dear Daddy God” series, where she reads entries from her extremely religious childhood journals. From judging her friends for watching Glee (while watching it herself for “research”) to practicing kissing with her best friend for their future husbands, who she later realized was absolutely her crush, we’re getting the stories behind the journals.

Hannah also shares how her parents joined a strict religious denomination and how it shaped her faith, school years, and the girl who once began every journal entry with “Dear Daddy God

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Hannah’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahbeckcomedy

Hannah’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/hannahbeckcomedy/

Hannah’s Comedy: https://hannahbeckcomedy.com

Hannah’s Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3qE6BxlVULLxWli5n6e2BL

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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This documentary literally helped convince me to go to Bethel. 😂 Finger of God follows filmmaker Darren Wilson as he searches for evidence that God is still performing supernatural miracles today. This includes healings, gold dust and gold teeth.

At the time, Anna and I were completely captivated by it. So, years later and on the other side of deconstruction, we decided to watch it again. We’re revisiting the miracle claims, the “evidence” we once found convincing, and all the things we somehow never questioned.

Does it hold up? Absolutely not. Welcome to Cringe Rewatch.

Anna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@awna1997?lang=en

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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CW: Conversion therapy, homophobia, suicidal ideation, religious abuse

Ben was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, where strict rules, purity culture, and the threat of shunning shaped his life. After coming to terms with being gay, he was forced into a “study” that turned into conversion therapy and ultimately found himself homeless and without the support of his family. Today, his parents have cut contact because of their faith, but Ben has built a beautiful life on the other side. He shares his journey through deconstruction, therapy, healing, and finding love after leaving the religion that once controlled his life.

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Ben’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bentheexjw

Ben’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/b3ngibb0ns

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

 Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠

CW: Conversion therapy, homophobia, suicidal ideation, religious abuse

Ben was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, where strict rules, purity culture, and the threat of shunning shaped his life. After coming to terms with being gay, he was forced into a “study” that turned into conversion therapy and ultimately found himself homeless and without the support of his family. Today, his parents have cut contact because of their faith, but Ben has built a beautiful life on the other side. He shares his journey through deconstruction, therapy, healing, and finding love after leaving the religion that once controlled his life.

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Ben’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bentheexjw

Ben’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/b3ngibb0ns

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

 Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠

Rachel didn't grow up religious, but after being introduced to church through a friend, Christianity eventually became her entire world. In college, she joined Campus Crusade for Christ (now Cru) and ultimately turned ministry into a full-time career. Rachel shares the cracks she began to see from the inside, why the organization started to feel increasingly culty, and the deconstruction that followed.

Today, Rachel (@psychedwithrachel) is a licensed therapist in Pasadena, California specializing in working with queer folks and those who have experienced religious trauma.

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Rachel’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/psychedwithrachel/

Rachel's Website: https://psychedtherapy.co/

Rachel’s Links:https://beacons.ai/psychedwithrachel

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

 Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠

Cringe Book Club has officially arrived to Healed-ish!

If you’ve seen the series on my TikTok, you know where this is going: we’re revisiting the Christian books that shaped how many of us thought about faith, relationships, gender, sex, and ourselves, and asking... what exactly were we reading?!

Abigail & I are kicking things off with Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, the bestselling Christian book that taught a generation of women that our deepest desires are to be romanced, play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and unveil our beauty. From gender roles and purity culture to beauty, marriage, trauma, and what it supposedly means to be a woman, we’re going back through it all with fresh eyes.

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Abigail’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/fabigailinsta/​​

Abigail’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabigail11

Readirect Podcast: https://www.readirectpodcast.com

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

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Melissa Duge Spiers grew up Seventh-day Adventist in a world shaped by strict rules, purity culture, and expectations of what it meant to be a good Christian woman. We talk about Ellen G. White and the beginnings of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Melissa’s rebellion and eventual separation from her upbringing, and the devastating truth she later learned about her father. Melissa is the author of Holy Disobedience, a memoir about breaking free from harmful religious expectations and finding healing on the other side.

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Melissa’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/the.glory.whole/

Holy Disobedience:https://www.lakedrivebooks.com/books/holy-disobedience

Melissa’s Substack: https://substack.com/@melissadugespiers

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

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Youth camp was Ellie’s happy place. She made memories with friends, had powerful emotional experiences, and led worship. But after getting involved in a megachurch, she began seeing what happened behind the scenes and what happened when she started asking honest questions. Ellie shares her journey from church camps and megachurch culture to leaving, deconstructing, finding freedom, and healing out loud online. @Ellieunbound-Ellie’s Tiktok: ⁠  / ellieunbound⁠  Ellie’s IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/ellieunboun...Ellie’s Linktree: ⁠https://linktr.ee/ellieunbound⁠-Patreon: ⁠⁠  / healedish⁠⁠  Follow for more:  Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠⁠  / jubileedawns⁠⁠   Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / jubileedawns⁠⁠   Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / healedishpodcast⁠⁠   Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  / healedishpodcast⁠⁠   Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠

CW: Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse, and Discussion of Suicide

After many requests to talk about Mica Miller's story and Netflix's Death of the Pastor's Wife, Rihanna (@thediaryofrihanna) joins me to unpack the case and the troubling dynamics surrounding Mica's marriage to pastor JP Miller. With a significant age gap, domestic violence and religious abuse, and the fact that JP was once Mica's youth pastor, there are parts of her story that hit incredibly close to home for me.

We talk about the power dynamics in their relationship, the ways scripture and evangelical teachings can be weaponized against women, and the systems that can make it harder to recognize abuse or leave it. We also discuss why stories like Mica's deserve to be talked about, and what needs to change within religious communities to better protect vulnerable people.

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Rihanna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thediaryofrihanna

Rihanna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thediaryofrihanna/?hl=en

Rihanna’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GYFK8HMH

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Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/Healedish⁠

Follow for more:  

Jubilee’s TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns⁠

 Jubilee’s IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns⁠

 Healed-ish TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast⁠

 Healed-ish IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast⁠

 Apply To Share Your Story: ⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8⁠