In the words of Lydia Elle: You have to be heard to heal.

Trigger Warning: When discussing narcissists, it tends to go hand in hand with the topic of abuse. Within this discussion we cover traits of a narcissistic partner while also touching upon the various forms of abuse.

In today's episode, I sit down with Doctor Nahla, where we both share our personal experiences with abusive relationships, what reactive abuse entails and the burden survivors carry with them long after they have left their abusive partners.

Someone once said, trauma teaches you to close your heart and build a cage around it, while healing teaches you to open your heart and set boundaries.

In this conversation, Nahla made me feel safe enough to share the trauma that I've endured in my past. I also want to thank her for sharing her own story and allowing us to learn from the abuse and betrayal she had to overcome herself.

Abuse is abuse, no matter what form it comes in. The red flags were always there, the monster was always present, just disguised.

I've personally struggled with my healing journey because there are times where I have my good days and I'm appreciative of what I've overcome, but then there are days where I'm overcome with hurt  and I'm so unforgiving of myself for letting certain things happen to me. 

Thankfully, in this conversation we also touch upon self forgiveness. For survivors, this is a concept we often struggle with, but we need to forgive ourselves for staying in the relationship longer than we should have, for holding onto the past, for blaming and judging ourselves.

Truly hope that this episode empowers you to choose yourself, to inshallah remove yourself from any harmful situation and for you to know that you have sisters here for you.

Enjoy and follow the pod on Instagram:
@unsweetenedandunfiltered

Follow Doctor Nahla on Instagram:
@imdoctornahla

Important Resources!

1. PEACEFUL FAMILIES PROJECT: WWW.PEACEFULFAMILIES.ORG
A national organization devoted to preventing domestic violence with a focus on Muslim families of all backgrounds, through education and interventions.

2. THE ASIAN PACIFIC INSTITUTE ON GENDER BASED VIOLENCE: WWW.API-GBV.ORG   
A resource center for sexual violence and other forms of gender-based violence in Asian communities. They provide training and technical assistance with the help of advocates, community based service programs and both legal and mental health professionals.

3. PROJECT SAKINAH: WWW.PROJECTSAKINAH.ORG         
A program that assists with community efforts to grow healthy families that protect women, children and men from neglect and homes broken by violence.

4.  KHALIL CENTER: WWW.KHALILCENTER.COM         
A spiritual wellness center which applies the traditional Islamic spiritual healing methods to modern clinical psychology. Services include: religious consultations, immigration evaluations and premarital coaching. They also have a crisis hotline: 855 543 5752

5. TAHIRIH JUSTICE CENTER: WWW.TAHIRIH.ORG         
Their mission is to protect immigrant women and girls who refuse to be victims of abuse by elevating their voices within the community, courts and Congress. They also provide free immigration, family and civil legal services, and they help their clients rebuild their lives, safely.