Healing Is My Hobby with Jessica Colarco, LCSW

When Stress Becomes Anxiety: Is It a Problem or a Prediction?

All through September, we talked about your nervous system: stress signals, regulation, and the idea that calm isn't the only healthy state. This month, we're taking that conversation one step further into anxiety.

Anxiety doesn't always look like a panic attack. Sometimes it looks like overthinking, irritability, procrastinating, or being incredibly productive. Sometimes it's asking "are you sure you're not mad at me?" for the third time, Googling the same question for the fifth time, or lying awake at 2 a.m. holding a very serious meeting with yourself about a problem that doesn't exist yet.

In this episode, Jessica breaks down the difference between stress and anxiety, why anxiety has such a hard time with uncertainty, and one simple question that can help you create a little space between you and the worry.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How stress and anxiety overlap, and how they're different
• Why stress usually responds to what is happening, while anxiety responds to what might happen
• Anxiety's difficult relationship with uncertainty, and how it tries to create certainty through overthinking, preparing, Googling, and reassurance-seeking
• Why planning and worrying are not the same thing
• The key question: Am I dealing with a problem, or a prediction?
• Why your body reacts to an anxious story as if it's happening right now
• Why the goal isn't to stop worrying, but to start recognizing what's happening when anxiety shows up

Try this this week:

When you notice yourself getting caught in a worry, pause and ask:

1. What is actually happening right now?
2. What am I predicting might happen?
3. Is there an action I need to take, or am I trying to create certainty?

You don't have to make the anxiety disappear. Just notice.

Coming up next week: Your anxiety is actually trying to protect you, even when it's making your life harder. Understanding why your brain learned to do this can help you stop fighting anxiety and start responding differently.

Free resource:

Feeling disconnected from yourself, or so used to pushing through that you're not sure what you need anymore? Download Your Personal Care Plan, a free guide to help you slow down, check in, and think intentionally about what actually supports you. Find it in the resource library at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com.

Want to go deeper? Explore courses and other offerings at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com.

Connect:

📩 Join the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com

📷 Instagram: @healingismyhobby

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby

🩺 Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com

📷 Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw

🎵 TikTok: @jessicacolarcolcsw

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Not Everything That Feels Urgent Is Urgent: Telling the Difference Between Real Urgency and Anxiety

An uncomfortable email arrives and you feel like you have to answer right now. A text goes unanswered and you need to know why. You remember a small task and it has to be done before you can sit down. Urgency can feel like important information, but sometimes it's anxiety in a very convincing disguise.

In this final episode of our September series on our relationship with doing, I bring the month together by looking at what sits underneath so many of these patterns: urgency. We explore how thoughts and physical sensations reinforce each other, why our brains get so good at "handling it" to find relief, and how to tell the difference between actual urgency (about the situation) and emotional urgency (about the discomfort the situation creates inside us). This isn't about ignoring what matters or swapping urgency for avoidance. It's about creating enough space between the feeling and the action to realize you have a choice.

In this episode, we explore:

• The difference between actual urgency and emotional urgency, with real-life examples
• "Open loops" and why unresolved things feel so hard to leave alone
• How we create activity when we can't create certainty
• A favorite CBT question: Am I responding to a fact or a prediction?
• False deadlines, or "discomfort deadlines," and the questions that expose them (According to whom? By when? What happens if I wait?)
• Urgency vs. avoidance vs. regulation, and what flexible responding looks like
• Why so much healing is learning we can survive an unfinished moment

This week's Healing Experiment:

Identify one false deadline. When your brain says "do it now," ask what the actual deadline is. If there isn't one, create a small intentional delay (10 minutes, 30 minutes, or until tomorrow) and notice what thoughts, body sensations, and fears show up. Then ask: Is this urgency giving me useful information, or is it asking me to make discomfort disappear?

This week's takeaway:

Not everything that feels urgent is urgent. The feeling is real, but it doesn't have to be an instruction. Sometimes the most regulating thing you can do isn't fixing the problem. It's discovering that you can wait.

Resources mentioned:

Visit my Healing Library at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com to find:

• Your Personal Care Plan (free worksheet): a way to care for yourself that takes your actual capacity into account
• Nervous System Regulation Plan: a self-guided resource for understanding your nervous system more deeply
• Why You Can't Stop: my 7-module course for going deeper into the patterns we explored all September

Catch up on the September series:

Why You Can't Stop • Why Rest Doesn't Always Feel Restful • You Don't Have to Earn Rest • Nervous System Regulation Isn't the Same as Being Calm

Connect:

📩 Sign up for the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com

📷 Instagram: @healingismyhobby

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby

🩺 Clinical website: jessicacolarcolcsw.com

📷 Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw

🎵 TikTok: @jessicacolarcolcsw

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Somewhere along the way, calm became the gold standard for mental health. But what if we've been measuring regulation by the wrong thing? In this episode, Jessica explains why nervous system regulation isn't about staying calm. It's about recognizing what's happening inside you, understanding what you need, and responding without treating every uncomfortable feeling like an emergency. You'll learn how to catch your earliest signals, why relief and regulation aren't always the same thing, and how to build a regulation menu that fits you.

In this episode

• Why "how do I calm down?" may be the wrong question
• Why calm is one healthy nervous system state, not the only one, and why flexibility is the real goal
• How your nervous system gives you information through body sensations, thoughts, and behaviors
• Why your early signals (a 3 out of 10) give you more choices than your loudest ones (a 9)
• How activation shows up differently for different people: busyness, irritability, control, reassurance seeking, and checking
• What shutdown and depletion can look like, and why a strategy for overstimulation may not help when you're disconnected
• How coping skills can become another way of demanding the feeling disappear
• The difference between relief and regulation
• Why a regulation menu works better than one perfect coping skill
• Why regulation is an experiment, not a performance

Key takeaways

• You don't have to be calm to be regulated. You can be anxious, irritated, or sad and still make an intentional choice about what happens next.
• Instead of asking "Did this make me feel better?", try asking "Did this help me respond differently?"
• The goal isn't to memorize 30 coping strategies. It's to know yourself well enough to have a few realistic options when your system starts giving you information.
• Tracking your early signals is about learning your patterns, not monitoring yourself all day for signs that something is wrong.

This week's healing experiment

1. Catch one early signal. Choose something small, not your biggest symptom or the moment you're already at a 10.
2. Pause and name it: "My system is starting to get activated," or "I'm starting to shut down."
3. Ask yourself, "What might I need right now?"
4. Try one thing.
5. Afterward, don't ask whether the feeling went away. Ask, "Did this give me a little more choice in how I responded?"

Resources mentioned

• My Nervous System Regulation Plan: a fillable, self-guided workbook that helps you identify your regulated baseline, recognize your signs of activation and shutdown, build your own regulation menu, and track what actually helps. Find it in the course and resource library at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com.
• Why You Can't Stop: Jessica's 7-module, self-paced course on the patterns underneath constant doing. Find it at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com.

Connect

📩 Sign up for the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com

📷 Instagram: @healingismyhobby

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby

🩺 Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com

📷 Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw

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Why do so many of us treat rest like a reward instead of a basic need? In this episode, Jessica unpacks the hidden rule a lot of high achievers live by: I can rest once everything is done. The problem is, the finish line keeps moving — there's always one more email, one more task, one more thing to get ahead on. Jessica explores where this belief comes from, why it hits especially hard for people who are "good at" being productive, and what it actually takes to start relating to rest as a resource instead of a prize.

• Why "I'll rest when I'm done" sets up a finish line that never arrives
• How everyday messages (work before play, don't be lazy, hard work pays off) quietly turn into rigid rules about earning rest
• Why high-achieving people are especially good at finding the next task — and why that keeps rest out of reach
• The difference between rest as a reward and rest as a resource
• How we moralize productivity vs. rest (productive = responsible, resting = lazy) — and why that framing isn't true
• Noticing the double standard: the compassion we extend to others' need for rest vs. the standard we hold ourselves to
• What guilt during rest is actually telling us (and what it isn't)
• A personal example from Jessica about catching herself moving the goalpost on rest
• How productivity can get tangled up with identity ("I'm the one who handles everything") and why that's worth examining
• This week's healing experiment: resting before you've earned it

Choose a small moment when something could still be done — and stop anyway. Ten minutes. Leave something undone on purpose. Notice what comes up (the thought, the guilt, the urge to get back to it) without rushing to fix it. Ask yourself: what rule do I think I'm breaking right now?

• Why You Can't Stop — Jessica's 7-module self-paced course on nervous system regulation, anxiety, and the beliefs underneath productivity and control. Early bird pricing ($197) available through September 14th. 🔗 heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com
• Nervous System Regulation Plan — a free fillable workbook to help identify your regulated baseline, early signs of activation/shutdown, coping patterns, and go-to strategies. Available in the resource library. 🔗 heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com

📩 Newsletter: healingismyhobby.com 📷 Instagram: @healingismyhobby ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com 📷 Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw

Healing Is My Hobby — because healing doesn't have to be your whole life. It can just be something you keep practicing along the way.

You finally sit down to rest… and your brain starts running through your to-do list. Sound familiar? In this episode, Jessica breaks down why stopping and regulating are not the same thing — and why your body can stop moving long before your nervous system actually settles.

• Why rest isn't defined by physical stillness — you can be lying in bed while your nervous system is still fully activated
• The real goal of nervous system work: not constant calm, but flexibility
• Why the "go" transition is easy and the "stop" transition is hard — and how to build a bridge between the two
• "Productive rest": why we sneak achievement into relaxation (podcasts on walks, productivity guilt while reading, closet reorganizing as emotional avoidance)
• A personal story about Jessica cleaning out her daughter's closet the weekend before she left for college
• How to ask "what does my system need right now?" instead of reaching for generic coping skills
• Why regulation isn't about making a feeling disappear — it's about responding differently while you're still feeling it

Pick one transition in your day that tends to feel abrupt (work → home, dinner → bedtime, etc.). Give yourself a 5-minute bridge before diving into the next thing, and ask: What state am I in? What does my system actually need?

🎓 Why You Can't Stop — Jessica's 7-module self-paced course for people who are great at doing, but struggle to stop. Early Bird pricing: $197 (September 14th), moving to $247 after.

📓 My Nervous System Regulation Plan — a workbook to help you identify your own signs of activation and shutdown, and build a personalized regulation menu. Available here.

📩 Newsletter: healingismyhobby.com 📷 Instagram: @healingismyhobby ▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com 📷 Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw

Coming up next week: "You Don't Need to Earn Your Rest" — digging into the belief that you have to do enough before you're allowed to stop.

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What happens when you finally have nothing to do?

For some of us, the answer isn't relief. It's discomfort.

In the Season 2 premiere of Healing Is My Hobby, Jessica explores what happens when productivity becomes more than a habit and starts functioning as a way to manage anxiety, uncertainty, and nervous system activation.

In this episode, you'll explore:

• Why productivity itself isn't the problem
• How your brain learns from the relief you get after doing, fixing, checking, or controlling
• Why anxiety can sometimes look incredibly productive
• The difference between “this needs to be done” and “I need to do this so I can feel okay”
• How identity and worth can become connected to productivity
• A simple experiment for creating more space between discomfort and action

Why You Can't Stop is Jessica's seven-module, self-paced course for people who are really good at doing—but have a much harder time stopping.

LAUNCH WEEK: $197 EARLY-BIRD PRICING

After the first week, enrollment is $247. A payment plan is also available.

Explore Why You Can't Stop, My Nervous System Regulation Plan, and Jessica's other courses and resources at:

👉 Available at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com

The next time you feel an urgent need to do, pause and ask:

Does this actually need action right now—or am I looking for relief?

Healing Is My Hobby and its accompanying courses and resources are educational and are not therapy or a substitute for individualized mental health treatment.

Nervous System Regulation Plan — not ready for the full course yet? This fillable workbook helps you identify what regulation feels like for you, your earliest signs of activation and shutdown, your go-to coping behaviors, and the strategies that actually work for your nervous system. 👉 heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com

You've finished work, sat on the couch, even taken the day off — and somehow you still can't relax. Next week: why rest doesn't feel restful, and what happens when your body stops but your nervous system doesn't.

📩 Newsletter at healingismyhobby.com 📷 @healingismyhobby on Instagram ▶️ YouTube at youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 jessicacolarcolcsw.com 📷 @jessicacolarcolcsw

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This week, Jessica closes out the summer Healing Moments series with an invitation: what if you let yourself be uncomfortable — on purpose?

Not unsafe. Not overwhelmed. Just uncomfortable. For anyone who identifies as an overachiever, a fixer, or a chronic doer, stillness itself can feel unbearable — and productivity often becomes a quiet way of avoiding harder feelings like uncertainty, boredom, or loneliness.

This week's practice: Find 5–10 minutes and intentionally don't fill them. No phone, no podcast, no folding laundry, no to-do list. Just sit — with your coffee, on the porch, wherever. Notice what comes up: the urge to reach for your phone, a sudden memory of everything you "should" be doing, restlessness, even guilt. Instead of chasing the discomfort away, try sitting with the thought: I can be uncomfortable and still be okay.

Healing isn't always about finding the next thing to do. Sometimes it's discovering that you can stay with yourself when you're doing nothing at all.

Season 2 of Healing Is My Hobby starts later this week. 🎉

📩 Sign up for the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com 📷 Follow on Instagram: @healingismyhobby ▶️ Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 Learn about Jessica's clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com 📷 Follow Jessica's clinical page: @jessicacolarcolcsw

This is the last journal prompt of the summer — and next week's Healing Moment is the final one before Season 2 launches. So this week's prompt is about making space for what's next by naming what you're ready to release.

Today's prompt: What do I want to leave behind before September?

Some ways to go deeper:

• What thought pattern have you been dragging around all summer (or longer) that you're genuinely tired of?
• Is there a habit or coping behavior that's stopped serving you?
• Is there a relationship dynamic, resentment, or expectation you're willing to loosen your grip on?
• Is there a smaller, more fearful, more apologetic version of yourself you're ready to stop leading with?

You don't have to be fully ready to release it — you just have to be willing to name it. Write it down, then write this: I am willing to leave this behind. I don't need it where I'm going.

A first look at Why You Can't Stop 🌱 Jessica shared a first glimpse behind the scenes at Why You Can't Stop — a 7-module, self-paced course for anyone whose nervous system has been stuck in go mode for so long that stopping feels unsafe. It's designed to help you understand the pattern, not just white-knuckle through it. Launching in September, with more details coming soon.

Season 2 of Healing Is My Hobby begins next Monday. 🎉

📩 Newsletter at healingismyhobby.com 📷 @healingismyhobby on Instagram ▶️ YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 jessicacolarcolcsw.com 📷 @jessicacolarcolcsw on Instagram

So many of us are waiting for the moment we finally "arrive." When we lose the weight. When the kids need us less. When work calms down. When we're more organized, more confident, more together... then we'll be happy. Then we'll rest.

But what if there isn't an arrival point? In this trailer, Jessica and Kelly open up Season 6 with a question that changes everything: what if this is it? Not in a depressing way, but in a freeing one. Maybe your life isn't something you have to perfect before you're allowed to enjoy it. Maybe you can be proud of who you are and still want to grow. Maybe rest doesn't have to be earned, and starting something before you feel ready is allowed too.

This season isn't about becoming the perfect version of yourself. It's about becoming more you.

Season 6 of Chasing Brighter, Becoming Not Arriving, begins September 3rd.

In This Episode:

• Why the idea of "arrival" keeps so many of us stuck
• Letting go of the myth that you have to be finished before you can be happy
• Growth that's real, rest that's earned, and a life that's actually yours
• What to expect from Season 6

Season 6 begins September 3rd. Subscribe now so you don't miss it.

Find us: Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram/TikTok: @chasingbrighter

Keywords: chasing brighter, becoming not arriving, season 6, personal growth, self acceptance, letting go of perfectionism, rest without guilt, women's podcast, sisters podcast, real over perfect, growth mindset, self worth, starting before you're ready, permission to rest, life transitions

As summer winds down and the back-to-school transition sets in, that low hum of anticipation and dread can make it hard to stay present. In this Healing Moment, Jessica walks you through the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, one of the most effective tools for anxiety, dissociation, and overwhelm. Using your five senses, this practice pulls you out of the future-focused spiral of anxiety and back into your body, back into the only moment you're actually in.

Jessica also shares a preview of her upcoming course, Why You Can't Stop, launching this September, including the concept of "productivity as safety" and why your nervous system doesn't track your to-do list, it tracks danger and safety.

• Why the 5-4-3-2-1 technique works: anxiety lives in the future, and grounding pulls you back into the present
• A full guided walkthrough of the exercise, from five things you can see down to one thing you can taste
• How to use this tool during seasonal transitions, high-anxiety mornings, or any time your mind won't stop
• A first look at "productivity as safety," one of the seven core concepts in Jessica's upcoming course

• 00:05 — Welcome back and the back-to-school anxiety shift
• 00:40 — Introducing the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique
• 01:10 — Course preview: Why You Can't Stop and "productivity as safety"
• 02:00 — Guided practice begins: 5 things you can see
• 02:20 — 4 things you can feel
• 02:35 — 3 things you can hear
• 02:50 — 2 things you can smell
• 03:05 — 1 thing you can taste
• 03:20 — Why grounding works: anxiety lives in the future
• 03:45 — Closing and where to connect

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• 🌐 Website: healingismyhobby.com
• 📸 Instagram: @healingismyhobby
• ▶️ YouTube: @healingismyhobby
• 🩺 Clinical Practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com
• 📸 Clinical Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw

Keep healing. You're worth it.