Hears How

Artist Mary Purdie had a long, arduous journey to motherhood. The author of "If You Really Knew Me" experienced five miscarriages in less than two years. About three months after her fifth, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Through it all, she never lost hope that she would one day be a mom.

"'It's gonna be hard, but I'm going to get to the other side, and there's going to be a baby eventually,' " Mary would tell herself. "And that was what was getting me to get out of bed and take a shower and get outside and do things for myself."

Mary and her husband DeAndre, whom she hails as her hype man, welcomed their son Ellis via surrogate in 2022.

"I've never had that much euphoria running through my body," Mary says, reflecting on her baby's long-awaited birth. "And my husband cried. He just broke down for a moment in our Airbnb, and I was like, 'This is why we went through all of this. This is what is meant to be.' And we didn't put him down for a month." 

More:
See Mary's artwork on Instagram by checking out @DrawnByMary.
Learn more about her story by purchasing her beautiful memoir, "If You Really Knew Me: A Memoir of Miscarriage and Motherhood."
Subscribe to Hears How and follow the show on Instagram, @HearsHowPodcast.

As people reflect on what changes they’d like to make ahead of the New Year, I’m so excited to present a powerful conversation with writer Sarah Levy.  In her memoir “Drinking Games,” available in paperback Jan. 2, Sarah chronicles her journey to sobriety. 

Growing up, Sarah’s family moved around a lot which left her feeling awkwardly out of place. But with alcohol, “I felt like I had this key,” she says in our conversation, “like I was able to unlock this world where suddenly I was saying the right things, and I did feel like I was a part of the crowd.”

After college, the young professional living in New York City, leaned further into drinking, thanks to frequent happy hours and social gatherings. Blacking out began to happen more frequently. She woke up in the hospital twice, unaware of how she’d gotten there, and one day she’d had enough.

“I realized that day, when I start to drink I'm powerless, and I hated that word,” Sarah says. “But the truth was, once I started to drink I really didn't know what was going to happen. I really lost control after a couple of drinks, and it just kind of hit me over the head. I was just done. 

“I've heard people describe that as the gift of desperation,” she continues. “I was so desperate to not feel that way anymore that I was pretty much willing to try anything, including sobriety, which seemed like the worst possible fate and outcome. I thought I would never have fun again. I thought I would never make new friends, never date. I really was like, ‘Okay, well, my life is over, but at the very least, I won't feel this way anymore.’ And my life quickly got a lot better. “

In our very honest chat Sarah reveals why she clung to her identity as a drinker, the shame that accompanied a spiral, how she was able to quit drinking and what a gift sobriety has been. 

More:

Purchase “Drinking Games,” available on paperback Jan. 2. 

Follow Sarah on Instagram. 

Follow Hears How Podcast on Instagram  and subscribe to the show.

Collette Divitto started her own cookie company, Collettey's after being rejected for multiple jobs. She was born with Down syndrome and values her independence. After high school, she enrolled in Clemson University's Life program, which readies its participants for the workforce and living on their own.  Collette completed the three-year curriculum in just two years. After graduating, she left South Carolina with her heart set on finding a job in Boston and living independently.

"In Boston, I went on 13 job interviews to find a part-time, paying job," she says but had no luck. "Many times they'd send me an email saying that, at this time (they) feel like I am not a good fit because of me, who (has) a disability."

So Collette took things into her own hands -- hands that I can attest are very good at baking. She started her cookie company in 2016.

Collette wants listeners to know, "No matter who you are, you can make a big difference in this world." 

More:
Order Collette's delicious cookies.
Purchase her book, "Collette in Kindergarten."
Learn more about her nonprofit which helps train people with varying abilities for the workplace.

They say everything is bigger in Texas, and that includes a love of football. This week's guest is Tyler Campbell, son of Earl Campbell, aka the Tyler Rose. While attempting to follow in his father's cleated footsteps as a college football player, Tyler was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, or MS. 

The autoimmune disorder looks different in everyone but can be boiled down to one's immune system taking aim at the myelin sheath, destroying the nerve system highway that allows your brain to tell the rest of your body what to do. 

Tyler detailed his journey in his book, "The Ball Came Out: Life from the Other Side of the Field." He's also a motivational speaker. Tyler doesn't wallow in his diagnosis, nor does he resent it. He sees it as a stepping stone to living out his purpose, and for that he deserves stadium-sized applause.

More:
Purchase Tyler's book, "The Ball Came Out: Life from the Other Side of the Field."
Follow the show on Instagram, @HearsHowpodcast.

Season 2 of “Hears How” debuts with the remarkable story of Jean Muenchrath, an adventurous woman who deems mountains “the joy of my life.”

Jean and her boyfriend, Ken, set out for the John Muir Trail in 1982. She was just shy of 23 when she headed out for the journey, a little under 215 miles, that would end near Mount Whitney. On what the couple thought would be the last day of their trip, the weather changed abruptly.

“It started to snow, and it was lightning and thundering,” remembers Jean. “And then the weather would get good for a while, and then it got worse. We couldn't go the way we had hoped to because the rocks were glazing up, and I decided I was going to down climb that 20 feet.”

But Jean gets to a point where she’s frozen. “I can't move up, I can't move down,” she says. “This voice bubbled up and it said, ‘God, don't let me fall.’ And then my world went dark. and I'm tumbling down."

Jean fell 150 feet down a mountain, and her resulting injuries were extensive. Hear her powerful story of survival.

In this episode:

0:35 Introduction to Jean and her story

3:38 Why Jean loves the mountains

5:32 A voice warns Jean “Something terrible’s gonna happen.”

8:38 The fall

10:24 Jean feels her life force exiting her body after the accident. 

11:20 The mantra that kept Jean going

14:37 Jean makes it to the hospital. “In many ways, the chapters that followed, if you will, in my life were the harder ones.”

17:59 Jean embarks on fulfilling her vow to see the Himalayas. 

20:21 Jean decides to return to Mount Whitney and “Death’s campsite.”

22:25 “I harbored a lot of self-hatred”: How Jean was able to finally forgive herself

25:07 “Be open to new directions. Life/the universe might have different plans for you.”

More: 

To learn more about Jean and her journey, purchase her book “If I Live Until Morning: A True Story of Adventure, Tragedy and Transformation.” 

To stay updated on “Hears How,” subscribe to the show and follow @HearsHowPodcast on Instagram.

It should be noted that this episode briefly discusses domestic violence and sexual abuse.

The Season 1 finale of “Hears How” offers two incredible stories about authors and foster care alumni, Justin and Alexis Black. Their book, “Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat the Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love,” is full of eye-opening statistics. “Only 56% of foster youth graduate high school while less than 3% of foster youth graduate college,” it reads. “40-50% of former foster youth become homeless within 18 months after leaving care.”

Despite their extremely challenging upbringings, Justin and Alexis defied the odds. They met in college and got married. They've worked hard on their relationship and have had to shed flawed notions about what love means.  

In this episode:

Justin’s upbringing battling generations of domestic violence, drug use, and undiagnosed mental health issues [3:01]

Justin enters foster care at 9-years-old [5:51]

Alexis’ childhood: The death of her biological mother and living with her abusive biological father [7:41]

Alexis enters the foster care system at 13, after her dad is sentenced to prison [9:20]

Justin and Alexis meet in college [10:02]

Challenges arise in their relationship due to past experiences [13:21]

How Justin and Alexis were able to overcome the harrowing circumstances of their early lives [16:44]

Their advice for those facing difficulties [19:10]

More:

For more about Justin and Alexis Black, visit their website  where you can purchase their books “Redefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat the Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love” and “I Love You More Than Cereal: Maeva and Dad Redefine Love.”

To stay updated on “Hears How,” subscribe to the show and follow @HearsHowPodcast on Instagram. 

Doctors estimated Ashley Hallford had about four weeks to live after diagnosing her with cancer in her jaw, an inoperable malignant brain tumor, and innumerable tumors in her lungs. They also saw spots on her liver. After four weeks of treatment, during which some of her tumors had grown, doctors advised of two options, Ashley says. She could “stop the treatment and go home and enjoy the time with your family," or try “one last ditch effort of chemo.” 

With her infant son Harley in mind, she pushed on.

“The thought of Harley not having his mother was more than I could bear,” she says. “I thought, ‘I don't want him to read about me, and the final thing he reads about his mother is that she gave up.’”

Ashley’s fight paid off when her doctor informed her, “There’s no evidence of disease present,” after reviewing her scans. Ashley has now been in remission for more than 14 years.

“Life is hard. Nobody ever promised it would be easy and a walk in the park,” Ashley acknowledges. “(But) you can overcome it.”

In this episode:

A recap of Ashley’s diagnosis [Opening]

The results of Ashley’s new scans: “Maybe, just maybe I’m gonna come out of this” [2:41] 

Another scan shows “There’s no evidence of disease present” [4:00]

A new lease on life: “Just the fact that you take a breath is a miracle” [6:11]

Ashley gets pregnant, despite appearing to be in early menopause [7:34]

Ashley’s advice for people going through a challenging time [13:43]

More: 

For more about Ashley Hallford, visit her website, where you can also purchase a copy of her book, “Losing Control: How God Used Cancer and Infertility to Bring Me to the End of Myself.” 

To stay updated on “Hears How,” subscribe and follow @HearsHowPodcast on Instagram. 

Doctors estimated Ashley Hallford had about four weeks to live after diagnosing her with cancer in her jaw, an inoperable malignant brain tumor, and innumerable tumors in her lungs. They also saw spots on her liver.  

After four weeks of treatment, during which some of her tumors had grown, doctors advised of two options, Ashley says. She could “stop the treatment and go home and enjoy the time with your family," or try “one last ditch effort of chemo.” 

“I just couldn't stop,” Ashley says. “If I didn't have a child, I probably would've given up because it was that bad. It really was. But the thought of Harley not having his mother was more than I could bear. And so I thought, ‘I don't want him to read about me, and the final thing he reads about his mother is that she gave up.’”

Today, Ashley has been in remission for more than 14 years. 

More: 

For more about Ashley Hallford, visit her website,  where you can also purchase a copy of her book, “Losing Control: How God Used Cancer and Infertility to Bring Me to the End of Myself.” 

To stay updated on “Hears How,” subscribe to the show and follow @HearsHowPodcast on Instagram. 

Greg Kelley’s future looked promising. His dedication to football was paying off for the high school athlete and offers to play college ball rolled in. But his bright future darkened when he was wrongfully accused and convicted of child sexual assault in 2013. 

“It was always tough waking up and seeing those bars every morning,” Greg says. “It just felt like I kept waking up in a nightmare, and I'd go to sleep in a nightmare.”

Thankfully Greg was exonerated in 2019, and I'm so excited to share this episode with you. I first learned of Greg’s story by watching the 2020 Showtime docuseries “Outcry.” I highly recommended it if you want to know more about Greg's story. For this podcast, I wanted to find out exactly how Greg was able to stay so steadfast throughout this nightmarish ordeal and what his life is like now.

In this episode:

Greg Kelley, the football star [2:24]

The first accusation is made [3:34]

Greg is convicted [5:43]

Greg’s case is reopened approximately three years after his conviction [10:50]

Greg is officially exonerated [14:19]

Greg’s grit mentality [17:42]

Greg’s advice for people facing challenges [18:10]

More: 

This episode gets into some of the topics covered in “Outcry,” but certainly not as thoroughly as the five-hour docuseries does. I highly recommended streaming it on Showtime, if you want to know more about Greg's story.

Follow Greg on Instagram, @grkelley2 

You can also check out his axe-throwing business. 

Heather Martin is a survivor of the Columbine shooting. She was a senior when two other members of her class killed 12 students and one teacher at their Littleton, Colorado high school on April 20, 1999.

She and dozens of other students sought shelter in a choir office, where a SWAT team rescued them after three hours.

“Three hours is a long time,” Heather says, “and three hours is a long time to also fear for your life.”

What Heather shares about her healing journey speaks to trauma’s depths and its long lasting effects. She says the term "the new normal” was life-altering.

“All of a sudden I just realized I am different,” she says. “I am not the same person that I was before the shooting, and that's okay. There's no way I could be the same person. There's no way.”

Heather co-founded The Rebels Project, an organization that offers support for mass shooting and trauma survivors. She has taught English at a high school in Aurora since 2013.

In this episode:
The day of the shooting [2:35]
Its effect on Heather: ‘Constant simmering of anger’ [6:25]
Heather returns to Columbine 10 years later [11:25] 
The origins of The Rebel’s Project [15:52]
The benefits of therapy [17:22]
Heather’s advice for those facing challenges [18:35]

More:
If you would like to learn more about The Rebels Project co-founded by Heather Martin visit the organization’s website. 

To stay updated on “Hears How,” subscribe and follow @HearsHowPodcast on Instagram.