HeirHeads

It’s game over for Prince Andrew — as a working royal, that is. Reports confirm he will never resume official duties as the Queen can’t see a way back from his many scandals. We give our take on the Netflix docuseries Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich and Andrew’s long-term friendship with the billionaire paedophile, as well as new reports on his debts and early royal retirement. Later (15:05), we break down the drama around Tatler magazine’s profile of Kate Middleton and the furious reaction within the palace, along with the stunning story of how Kate and Meghan fell out over a pair of children’s tights.

Join us for our royal wedding flashback, as we cast our minds back to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s big day at Windsor Castle in 2018. We run down our highlights and lowlights from the ceremony, the best-dressed guests and our favourite fairytale moments. Plus, a quick update on the Sussexes’ decor, Kate Middleton’s rainbow wardrobe, and how Prince William and Harry are “reconnecting” in lockdown.

Happy Birthday, Archie! Like all good parents, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry celebrate with the teachings of philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, and we learn more about their upcoming biography. Prince Andrew is back in the news with a slew of unflattering stories, ranging from an alleged £5m in unpaid bills to an investigation into his charity’s payments to a former private secretary. As the Queen withdraws from public life “indefinitely”, Kate Middleton launches a new photography project and Prince William lets air ambulances land at his other helipad. Plus, Camilla Parker Bowles makes biscuits.

Our QuaranQueen book club pick is Katharine McGee’s American Royals! Our spoiler-filled discussion starts 30 minutes in, but before that, we run though Princess Charlotte’s Web-based birthday celebrations, the Queen’s “favourite servants”, and Camilla Parker Bowles’s ballet lessons. Plus, Prince Harry introduces an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine, Meghan Markle suffers an early setback in her lawsuit against the Mail on Sunday, and the Sussexes are the subject of an upcoming biography.

Prince Philip hive, rise: The 98-year-old emerges from retirement to share a message to key workers, in the middle of the drama unfolding around Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s letter to the tabloids. As the Sussexes’ legal battle against the publisher of the Daily Mail kicks off with a virtual hearing, we break down the four big questions in the case, and hear about their Zoom call to the Queen on her 94th birthday. She celebrates with a chocolate sponge and 100 budgies, while Kate Middleton gets crafty for Prince Louis’s second birthday, and the Cambridges lead the clap for NHS carers — but not before Prince William’s comic turn in a Blackadder sketch with Stephen Fry.

It’s hard to know what constitutes an emergency these days, but Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s letter to the Daily Mail, the Sun, the Mirror and the Express definitely calls for a bonus episode. The Sussexes draw a line with their “zero engagement” policy with the tabloids, and draw criticism for the timing and tone of their announcement. Plus, new details emerge about Meghan’s case against the publisher of the Daily Mail, including Harry’s penchant for text speak… Hope u enjoy!

Guess our royal wedding invite wasn’t just lost in the mail — Princess Beatrice hasn’t even sent them out yet, and is instead postponing her big day to 2021 to lift the nation’s spirits! Meanwhile, Princess Anne lands a new magazine cover with an old glam shot, and shares her advice for younger royals. Prince William and Kate Middleton ring up the BBC for a Zoom interview, Prince Harry reveals his unimpressive Zoom style, and Meghan Markle joins the Zoommunity with a call to the Hubb Community Kitchen. Plus, the Sussexes deliver charity meals in LA and Camilla Parker Bowles plays the triangle.

Get ready for… Archewell! Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have (reluctantly) revealed the name of their non-profit, but not how to pronounce it. Their former social media lead, meanwhile, has a new gig working for Prince William and Kate Middleton, and is already showing results with a very cute Zoom call on Instagram. Prince Andrew also turns to Instagram for some low-key reputation management, with photos of him delivering cupcakes to hospice workers, while Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles share great new pics at home in Birkhall for their 15th wedding anniversary. Plus, we discuss differing responses to the Queen’s speech and look back on her previous special addresses to the nation in 1991, 1997 and 2002.

Prince Charles has recovered from coronavirus! The future king is out of self-isolation and straight on to Zoom to virtually open a hospital and record a message of support for Age UK. We’re scoping out his private study, as the Queen makes a speech urging “self-discipline and resolve”. Plus, Prince William fancies a return to his former job as air ambulance pilot and Kate Middleton takes the lead on home-schooling the kids. With Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down as senior working royals, we bid adieu to their Instagram and look back on our highlights from Meghan’s royal career.

Prince Charles has coronavirus! While we’re processing our shock at the news, Charles is feeding the squirrels and Camilla Parker Bowles is getting acquainted with Houseparty in self-isolation. The Queen shows us her #WFHfit, Prince William catches up on some TV, and Kate Middleton breaks out someone’s old iPhone 3 to film Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis clapping for NHS carers. Meanwhile, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle make the move to Los Angeles and we consider the curious timing of their announcement.