Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want.

This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love…

The book I mention is this lovely read:

https://amzn.to/4oB0o6I

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Or having enough of yourself to channel toward that which you are gifted to bring into this world. This is for those cultivating a creative dream who are struggling to get into creative flow. This episode has tools for jumpstarting a sense of inner drive that comes from knowing oneself.

Where you might be right now: energetically “occupied.” Relationships take up a lot of time and remove our mental ability to think autonomously. As do jobs. In general, if we are unable to access flow it’s a sign we are spiritually taxed. Sometimes that is because life has made you neglect that part of yourself. Sometimes your creative muscles are just out of use. And other times it’s because someone hurt you and it has given you performance anxiety.  

Protect your energy - it is precious, the most finite resource you have. To access that place of flow and drive, we need safety and private psychic space. What I will go into in this episode is how to start to build up

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Losing, feeling low, less-than, not winning at something. This is for a perspective flip: seeing every place as exactly where you need to be, at a given time. We all have seasons in our life and cycles we move through. Cycles of productivity, growth, success, and then there is also resetting – where we are brought into a new, full understanding of reality. This is important and though painful, it also serves a role in your life: think of it as the winter of your cycle.  

A Seneca quote that feels appropriate: “No man is more

Friction is how we move into new levels and capacities for joy and depth. When we return to the barren state, we check in with self and with life: where am I and where should I be going? There is new information to be brought in and it brings about the reshaping of self. This episode has some tools to look at your loss or your feeling of lowness as a winter opportunity for inquiry and change. This can be a moment of truth, acceptance, reconciliation. If something has recently hit you – do not panic, do not reject it, but allow the change to wash over you. Sending love…

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This episode is really about living a life of meaning and being intentional in that approach to today. Tools for focusing your energy on on vibrating toward good – whatever that looks like for YOU, right

This episode is about returning to yourself, coming back to who you are through deliberate efforts. We are constantly recalibrating.

I read a quote recently by E.L. Doctoro about writing a novel. “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' Self-work and healing is also like driving a car at night. You can make the whole trip that way, you don’t need to see it all at once. Just focus on being deliberate and intentional in how you approach today – only today, right now. We return to ourselves when we create conditions that remind us of our origins.

The book I mention is here:

https://amzn.to/4mcnBKM

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What is love bombing? It’s a term used to describe the initial phase of a relationship when someone is trying to “seal the deal” with intoxicating affection. The person connects quick and hard, often validating you in ways you have craved your whole life; saying all the things you want to hear, treating you like you have dreamed of being treated. They make you feel seen and adored, which is why it’s so confusing and painful when it ends.

A lot of people ask me, what happened to that person? Was it not real? It was real for you in your personal experience – however the person who enacted it was not portraying their true self. A person like this usually collects fans. They collect adorers, and they get off on the feeling of control. So I describe it often as a person with a different kind of brain. More on this plus some tools in this episode. This is for one person in particular but also meant for anyone who has fallen for a person who immediately disposed of you after you thought they were the one. And if you’ve been love-bombed and then deeply wounded, I send you much love. Hang in there. xox

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Are you being loving or are you enabling someone to remain dysfunctional? How do you tell? If you are a person who finds you are enraged and triggered by a relationship in your life and you feel powerless, this episode is about imbalanced relationships where one person is overactive and another person is underactive and how that “sick system” self-perpetuates despite everyone having good intentions. If you are unsure whether or not you are codependent, ask yourself – do you obsess about the way another person lives their life and does it make you miserable? Are you finding yourself being put in compromising situations because of that person? This episode might be a helpful starting point. Also here are a few must-reads!

Codependent No More

https://amzn.to/4ooLFfW

Courage to Change

https://amzn.to/3HgpAzC

The Dance of Anger

https://amzn.to/45kZlQj

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The alt name for this episode was “Ask More of Yourself” but that felt kind of agro. A lot of success in life happens in tiny micro changes. This episode is to help you curate the mindset of “I got this” as you move through your day. This is about building agency and momentum via seeing success as something small. Keeping a perspective of our own ability, sense of agency, and curating a feeling of “I got this” as we move through challenging times or new, fear-inducing territory.

Stick around for the tools in this one! This has tips for staying in the channel of focus on what you’re doing right. Appreciating life in the exertion periods and giving yourself an awareness snap of, “Oh, wow, it’s actually not so hard, and I can do this” We can get that snap of clarity when we can look at a loved one from a generation past or the long hours demanded of an Olympic athlete. That concept of empowered endurance and self-motivation is a reset for our day to day toils. Sending love… you are so much stronger than you think, right now.

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If you’re struggling with trying to keep a handle on your

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BOOK

Intimate

https://amzn.to/4kCyBQU

Dance

https://amzn.to/3Iqob9T

Courage

https://amzn.to/44La6en

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This is about expanding your consciousness using moments of emptiness and dissatisfaction as a starting point. I will invite you to widen your capacity and open your energy to a higher level by “using the material” that is the dissatisfaction.  Lots of tools in this one. If you feel like you’ve been living loops of stagnation and have been unable to see what is blocking your happiness – like “I am doing all the right things, why do I feel empty?” Feeling that something is missing, that we need something to fix us or

The books I mentioned (True and False Magic) https://amzn.to/4luF8Ot

And Notes to George: https://amzn.to/4kgc3Fo

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If you’ve been unable to let go of a relationship or a part of you feels tethered to it, it could be in part the longing for the feeling of completeness. Breakups are also losses of routine and a feeling that we are not alone in the world. A lot of the loss is that concept of our life, not the person we are partnered with and who they are in reality. One thing we can move through as we process a breakup is the loss of that ideal: what we wanted the relationship to be, wished it would become, visualized it would

Here is the book I mentioned that I am reading:

https://amzn.to/4kNQj4P

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