I think one primal fear inherent in ego is that we are somehow inadequate, that we are unworthy and need to stave off this possible truth. The other side of this coin is an expectation that we can and should be perfect. Which is not only impossible and false, but also a harmful ideal even if it were attainable. It’s based in a belief that perfect is good. That fear of being inadequate is also the hidden truth that causes a lot of reactivity, judginess, defensiveness, and also increases our need for “stuff” – the drive of materialism is often a belief that we need something to feel whole, powerful and better than.  This is an episode about working with that in particular.

When we work with this block of unworthiness– by looking into it, we get a bit closer to ourselves and we grow in our personal experience of wholeness, peace, joy, love and connection to others. Our love reservoir grows more expansive.

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And this is the Telepathy Tapes podcast I mentioned:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-telepathy-tapes/id1766382649

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If you woke up one day and feel like “I don’t really like myself,” this is for you. Self-respect is not just about having an air of confidence as you interact with others, it’s also being respectful to yourself, internally. As a means to get to this place, I wanted to offer you a simple prescription: think of your body and what I’ll call your dominant thought narrative as being a wise, second self. A friendly and compassionate voice. This second self can aid you and ground you as you move through the chatter that is your anxiety or perhaps at times negative chatter and self-analysis. We have to learn how to become a consistent friend to ourselves and that is how we start to really like who we are, regardless of the external. Like meeting a new friend, this can start at any time in your life – it just requires a commitment.

This episode is also about when we cannot get to a particular behavior change – seeing that there is a block behind that: a blindness to a lie we are believing. These “feelings stones” create misalignments and block us from actualizing change because we can’t see where we are unable to accept something as true. I have an example from my own life to explain this better – for me that misalignment is blowing up at my kids/how i feel about that and why I have been unable to stop.

This is the book Chatter that I mentioned: https://amzn.to/4gj4Tyf

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Ready to take a fresh path to self-discovery? Every Monday, Jemma of “The Psychology of your 20s” brings you a new mantra, breaking it down to show you how you can apply it to your own life. Whether you’re facing a major transition or looking to evolve your everyday routine, Mantra is the podcast for you. Join Jemma every week for reflections, practical tips, and personal insights that’ll inspire you to live with intention and unlock your true potential. Follow Mantra with Jemma Sbeg wherever you get your podcasts.

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‘Easy does it’ is a pretty great Alanon slogan, best used in times of stress or overwhelm when we find ourselves on the backfoot or grasping for control. What is most challenging about moving through any state of disaster (natural or personal) is the lack of ability to think– often when we are being faced with so much information, so quickly. ‘Easy does it’ is a path back to feeling grounded and safe in self. If you are suffering right now – from the loss of your home or from the loss of a partner or something else, this is a reminder that we can only take on as much as we can handle and sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and take some of the pressure off of ourselves so we can return to the situation from a more resourced position. When we get into that energy of forcing solutions, that’s a little flag reminding us we need to come home to our breathing and be extra kind and gentle with ourselves. We may not be able to solve every problem in the time we wish to solve it in and some problems are not ours to solve.

This episode started as a reflection for the new year and it has evolved into something more nurturing. I and so many I love have been affected by the wildfires in California, it has been difficult to focus, but I am posting this in the hopes that it soothes someone who needs soothing. Sending love to anyone suffering right now. You are in my prayers. Xo

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Hi friends! Happy new year! This is a clips show with some inspirational vibes for you to kick off your year– it includes excerpts from the following episodes. Enjoy xo

192  Changing your life: remembering a sense of possibility

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-192-changing-your-life-remembering-a-sense/id895918183?i=1000602016701

193 Getting in the energy path of change

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000602016701

201 Working with the energy of scarcity – choosing fulfilment

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000619419445

185 Getting out of your own way

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000587178584

200 Getting back into the energy of limitlessness

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/help-me-be-me/id895918183?i=1000617776780

Smile! And visit YayWithMe.com for more of my work

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This episode is all tools for stepping back from the process of negative rumination and choosing a different path: awareness, neutrality and openness. A lot of what we live through is created in our mind, and thoughts catalyze more similar thoughts. When it comes to negative rumination, a lot of these thought sequences are based in old, strong emotional imprints from long ago that are triggered in the present.

When we get into a negative thought loop, a sequence of feelings is created by an initial thought. For example, “I am sad because I am alone tonight, and this person didn’t call me back.” Which catalyzes, “Where am I in my life?” Which catalyzes, “Now I feel emotionally low” which triggers the brain’s desire to double down on this feeling and wallow in this rapidly increasing feeling of sadness. This catalyzes the next thought and the next one and the next one after that.

I am doing something super simple in this episode: I am writing directions for how to dismantle these kinds of thought sequences. What happens is our brain is fighting for control over feelings of pain, powerlessness, and ego-threat by rationalizing it: giving it a logical set of terms and labels. When we have a blip of anxiety or pain, we say, “This feeling is from this present-day thing in my life.” And we have already jumped on the bandwagon of that sequence of feelings, thinking we are in control of managing it when in reality, we are creating it.

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This is a GREAT podcast for moms that I have learned a lot from. It’s called “3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms” – it’s hosted by Rachel Nielson, a mom who seeks out the advice professionals for actionable advice around child-rearing. Rachel is a lover of practical ideas, conversations with kindred spirits, and her two wild miracle children who keep life interesting. I’m a mom so I am always looking for podcasts that help with child-rearing.

In this excerpt from episode 401 of 3 in 30, Rachel interviews board certified integrative family physician, activist, and TEDx speaker Dr. Setti[1]  about accessing radical gratitude, especially in times of difficulty. In this takeaway you will hear one suggestion for how we can use gratitude to turn us toward our life instead of away. If you want to listen to the entire thing, here’s the full length episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/401-how-radical-gratitude-can-change-your-life-dr-tanmeet/id1296627876?i=1000676478660

And to follow Rachel’s show you can check out 3in30podcast.com

IG: @3in30podcast 

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This is an episode aimed at being connected to yourself in a loving way and coming from compassion with others in your life. It’s an invitation to connect to yourself and others more deeply. Grace is defined as courteous goodwill or (in religious terms) the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. I am using this term “grace” to refer to a resting state of love and receptivity. This is how we can be of service to others and also how we expand our quality of life. The greatest path to a feeling of self-satisfaction is to do something that you are proud of, which comes about pretty often when you live from a state of grace as you move through the world.

To be honest, I am very embarrassed by this episode but I 100% mean it. It’s SUPER gooey and touchy-feely, but it’s something I need to hear and therefore, I am posting it! Why? I feel we are all managing the imbalances created by a fast-paced, adult, functioning life, and many of us are medicating to have access to our humanity. We get these fleeting windows where we have a full awareness of life’s meaning, our boundless love, and creativity. So this is a reflective episode aimed at being able to access these parts of ourselves and live through them. Tapping into the vein that was so primary in our childhood. I think part of that equation is to live in a state of grace: giving it to yourself and to others.

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This is for relationships that can be best described as dry kindling: dealing, politely, but no warmth or closeness. Maybe you feel your partner is critical, that you are invisible, and when fights occur, they go to DEFCON level 1 instantly, and nothing gets resolved, the loop only resets. So in the day to day, there’s little connection between you. If this sounds familiar, I want you to imagine you and your partner are in a glass display. Like a window at a store. Close to 90% of all communication is non-verbal, so if you are noticing there is no love and affection being expressed on a non-verbal level, this is one place to start. More on this in the episode plus tools for stepping back from the hurt. A little change can go a long way in allowing the love that still lives to come forth.

Big caveat: this episode is for those in “safe” relationships, not abusive ones. If you are in an abusive relationship here is one resource to get help: National Domestic Violence Hotline.  

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This is for anyone who has done self-work and is reentering a family situation where you know you have triggers. It’s so you can stay above the loops that tend to get us feeling angry, hurt or defensive – feeling like a child once again. If you’ve been healthier outside of a particular family dynamic, it can feel like you are getting pulled back into a stew of old feelings– even when everyone in the group has the best intentions and is doing their best to be loving. Projection is a massive piece of what triggers really upsetting family dynamics. We try and validate what’s inside by engaging those outside of us to affirm it.

The end of the year is also when a lot of “stuff” comes up: it’s a milestone because of the seasonal change, the holidays, revisiting old places and relationships. It can mean there’s a bit of taking stock: looking backward, looking forward. But also – a flooding of old feelings. This episode has tools for staying loving and neutral –doing no harm to yourself and others. My hope is that when you listen to this you will be able to come from love and also not take another person’s pain personally. When you know this ahead of time you can stay outside a trigger loop and come from love.

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