The Hello Divorce Podcast

Help my divorce is stuck!


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Today's topic is how to get your divorce unstuck. So you feel totally stuck. All you want is closure and yet your divorce is lingering on and on. You've tried everything. You've tried nothing. You don't have any clue what to do next. You have a list so long you don't know where to start. Relate to any of these.

Okay, so first things first. Are you really stuck? To know me is to know that it drives me crazy that everywhere we look, divorce is seen as an event. The truth is, it really is a process. It takes time, both emotionally and legally. In fact, if it's been a couple months since anything legal has moved forward with your case, you might actually be right on time. In most states, there's a waiting period between when you start the divorce and when it can be finalized. So moving quicker doesn't necessarily mean you'll finalize your divorce any faster.

Now I will say that many of our users and clients at Hello Divorce have really amicable divorces and so they finish the paperwork very quickly, turn it in, and put it behind them and then just wait for that six month waiting period to go by. But if you have any serious issues or issues that need to be resolved or if you've had complete and separate finances that need to be exchanged and documented, then it's probably going to take awhile. But if your divorce is truly stuck and you're not making any progress, here are some tips to make it move forward.

People is the most complex financial contract you will ever dissolve. Don't go at it alone and don't make decisions without seeing the goods. If your spouse has a retirement account, for example, don't just rely on him or her to tell you the amount or where it exists. You need to get the documents to see what it is that both of you have so that you can decide how you want to divide the stuff.

The next thing you can do is set a timeline. If possible, by email or in person, get on the same page with your ex about a realistic timeline for the major events related to your divorce. Chances are, not always, your spouse wants to progress too, but either is paralyzed by fear or maybe you've just always been the doer and so we can't expect that your spouse is now all of a sudden going to change personality traits.

Can you at least agree on dates for an exchange of proposals or offers or you can you agree that if you don't come to a resolution by a certain date that you'll get help from a mediator? At this time, you can also work on choosing a mediator, so if that happens where you can't come to agreements on all issues, you're ready to go.

Now, if you're really stuck, you've reached an impasse, your spouse won't go to mediation, won't work with a service like Hello Divorce or a neutral lawyer, you can request that the court help you sort out issues that keep you from moving toward a resolution. Now it's going to move slower because courts are very bogged down and you're going to have to go through what is pretty much an inefficient process. But the court can help you reach resolution. So if you're stuck and you really need some help, I suggest getting some legal coaching, spending a half hour or an hour with the lawyer to figure out what you can do to get help from the court...


If you need more advice please check us out at hellodivorce.com










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The Hello Divorce PodcastBy Erin Levine

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