Help Wanted

Is happiness overrated? We spend a lot of money and time working toward being happy. But all this happiness seeking doesn't actually mean we will be. Instead of trying to live a happy life, some say we should try to build meaningful lives. This is much more attainable. Also, just because you're happy doesn't mean you'll live and longer and super duper happy people are kind of a drag. Are you unhappy? Reggie has a list of traits that characterize chronically unhappy people. Plus, Diane Von Furstenberg, laughter yoga, Victor Frankel, Carnation instant milk and raw eggs, Noxema, and Thanksgiving relative angst. Sponsored by Fuck It I'm Changing Plans and Boycotting Thanksgiving Travel Insurance, the insurance that recognizes holiday travel is contingent only if you're candidate, the right candidate, the candidate who doesn't advocate white supremacy wins.

Okay what the fuck. What the fuck happened? What the fuck do we do now? Why the fuck do we have a stress rash? The five stages of fucking grief: denial (no fucking way), anger (this is a fucking joke and I will never fucking accept it), bargaining (bring back fucking Bush/Cheney; I will take 3 fucking terms of Mitt Romney), depression (fucking pizza, fucking starvation, fucking sex, fucking drugs, fucking booze), and fucking acceptance? (not fucking yet, but why the fuck is the media acting like this is normal? This isn't fucking normal? Why are we not taking to the streets?????). We also share what has helped us not fucking slit our wrists thus far. WHAT THE FUCK???

There are big ways to self-sabotage, and a lot of subtle ways we do it every day: not making decisions because we feel like we have too many options, procrastinating, quitting goals when they get tough, are a few. We have tips to recognize when you're self-sabotaging so you have a better chance at stopping. Plus, the best peanut butter cup is the Reese's Easter version, duct tape fixes everything, and sinuses are scary.

You know who's present? The Dalai Lama, and it's probably because of his comfy wardrobe choice. Reggie and Valerie get down to business and talk practical tips for how to be present, even when you're overwhelmed with activities or if you have goals and ambitions you're working toward. Plus Valerie has noisy neighbors and Regina learns that one way to a man's , or at least a hot plumber's heart, is through her sewer pipes. Fun fact: flushable wipes aren't actually flushable! Sponsored by Haul-A-Boy, if you're a woman in your twenties in an existential crisis, relax! All you have to do is date an aimless, charming underachiever who doesn't have a car. Chauffeuring a boy to band practice in your Toyota Camry while he writes song lyrics in the passenger seat is the perfect way to avoid your own goals! You gain a temporary sense of purpose and relief from the anxiety about your life's choices and he gets a personal car service to meet his buddy Johan at the skate park, without paying for car insurance! Haul-A-Boy!

Lauren Cohen, a therapist with Hope and Humor Therapy, tells us why vulnerability is so important for us to lead full and healthy lives. What is vulnerability? Probably anything that makes you feel "UGH, ICK, EEK" when revealing it. She gives advice for how to be more open in revealing our secret, squishy spots and how to be okay when someone is being vulnerable with us (the horror!). Also there's a difference between being vulnerable and emotionally barfing on someone. She also gives us tips for how to shut it down when someone is being too open with us: tell them "I feel weird for you." This episode is one you'll want to keep in your self-help back pocket. Plus, Reggie's feeling overwhelmed, Valerie has Austin Film Festival recommendations, and fall is kinda finally here! Sponsored by Autumn in Austin, a season of unnecessary scarves and covering with wool blankets despite it still be 80 degrees.

Uninspired by her job and wanting to experience living abroad, Barbara Beeson joined the Peace Corps and taught math in the Namibian desert during her late twenties. She tells Help Wanted about the bustling bar scene in Namibia, brown bread (apartheid bread?), hitchhiking, and the cultural shifts she experienced in going and returning to the U.S. Also, it's not as hard as one would imagine to find tampons in Sub-Saharan Africa. This episode sponsored by No Man Is An Island Thousand Island Dressing.

Valerie and Reggie excel at procrastination. There are a million ways we procrastinate. We have tips on how to procrastinate less (remember the satisfaction you feel when you erase something from a whiteboard). Sometimes (sometimes) procrastination can even be good for you. If you get 7 things done while you're procrastinating one thing, well look how productive you are! Regina likes a red accent wall. Valerie likes a red lipstick. Plus Kim Kardashian's misfortune: real or another attempt to break the internet? Reggie's excited about Krav maga and pole dancing, and Valerie finally, finally, finally has a floor and knows how to use an air compressor! This episode is sponsored by Standup Comic Standup Desks!

Resources: How We Procrastinate Why Procrastination is Good For You

Is choosing a childless life selfish? How are we supposed to deal with shame or societal pressures? And do men feel pressure to have kids too? Valerie and Reggie talk about the reasons people choose to not have children with another childless soul: JD. Plus Reggie celebrated her birthday by watching the sexual assault documentary Audrey and Daisy. After months of asking strangers about whether or not she should, Valerie finally cut bangs. This episode sponsored by Faux Kids, the monthly subscription service that transforms single, childless professionals into parents, but only while they're at work. For just $9 a month, Faux Kids will equip you with all the props necessary to fake out your coworkers and convince them you have children.

Resources 25 Famous Women on Childlessness

Childless by Choice

Why Women Choose Not To Have Children (The Atlantic)

Hispanic Heritage Month runs from the middle of September through the middle of October. Reggie and Valerie get to the bottom of why it exists and what Hispanic heritage is all about: fun facts about Cesar Chavez and the nuances between the terms Latino and Hispanics. Regina wants to be a pole dancer for a second and is not a fan of cilantro. Valerie is into dance regular but can't make a peach pie. Plus Regina and Valerie recount awful foods they've eaten all in the name of codependent lovin. This episode sponsored by Home Warranty of America, the number one home warranty company of North Korean dictators, jihadists, people who fart in TSA lines, and the Kardashian family.

Grocery shopping is a drudgery, but why do we hate it so much and how can we hate it less? Pay more and go to a tiny store, get em delivered, go during an off time (late at night when the parking lot knifers are out), and get to know your market managers! Plus Puffins, eggplants, Costco, and we debunk the myths of Trader Joe's. Regina is drinking a lot of water, and Valerie is on hold with Home Warranty of America. This episode is sponsored by Which Bill, the app that helps you answer the question: Is that Bill Pullman? Or Bill Paxton?