Her Life Unscripted

Today's wonderful guest is Whitney Boole, LMFT. Whitney is a therapist, coach, and writer in private practice in Hermosa Beach, CA. She provides therapy for individuals and relationships, and she believes pain fuels growth and empowerment. She is also a single mother with three kids, including ridiculously wild twins who climb everything and leave uncapped markers everywhere they go. She runs a Facebook Group for people healing through divorce and is building more resources for those struggling with the trauma of divorce. Whitney's book "You Got This: Healing Through Divorce" was just released May 7 and is available on Amazon.

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here.

Today, I want to talk to you about expectations, consistency, and perfectionism. Also, how we can reach out to community as we struggle with these ideals.

You know, that strive for perfection, how to have a constructive internal dialogue, and finally, how to be ok with making mistakes.

I would also like to personally extend an invitation to the Shine Retreat for Women, a beautiful event that is coming up September 27th-29th, 2019.

This retreat is for you if you're needing to build community connection, restore your soul, or just need some dedicated time for yourself.

I'm offering a $50 discount off registration to all listeners of this podcast.

Listen in for more information on the retreat, but first, let's walk through the 3 steps that will help you learn how to lean into the power of being imperfect, together.

Show Highlights:

• Struggling with perfection
• Competing with yourself: great quality at times, a roadblock at other times
• Expectations, consistency, and perfectionism
• How do we reach out for community when we are struggling with perfectionism
• We need the village
• Internal struggle with identity
• Looking at where we get that strive for perfection when it's not realistic
• Stepping back with as much objectivity as possible
• Practicing making mistakes, and getting messy
• The paradox of leaning into imperfections to feel more whole
• Leaning into the power of being imperfect together
• What happens when we don't get recognized for doing a job well
• Looking for validation from others
• Control over our choices
• Negative examples of feeling, though, and behavior
• Positive examples of feeling, thought, and behavior
• How journaling about my mistakes makes me more willing to share my mistakes with others
• Even if you don't accomplish as much as you'd hoped, you still have value and worth
• Making mistakes that we're ashamed of

Links / Resources:

Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE!

https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/

Special Invitation:

Shine Retreat is coming up September 27th-29th 2019.

Registration at: https://www.shineretreatforwomen.com/

Email me at [email protected] to receive $50 discount code for registration.

You can also reach me at [email protected].

The Shine Retreat is limited to 40 women.

In the midst of busy schedules and the demands of our families and careers, so many of us feel isolated and alone. Why is that? Why is it so difficult to form those close connections? Anna thinks it's because we've lost sight of our Village. Life runs on a large scale now, and while that's great for industry, it's making us more alone than we've ever been before. Anna is here today to describe not only why we need our village, but how we can start to get it back.

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

It is officially 2018, and that means it's time for a fresh start and a new outlook on the year ahead. Anna is ready to be recording again and is excited to announce all of the exciting changes that are to come in the new year. Now that Anna has rebranded her new practice, she is going to create space to work in her practice by making Her Life Unscripted a monthly podcast. While it is not a permanent change, Anna knows that she needs to intentionally curate where she spends her energy.

Resources:

Wishboard App: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/wishboard/id495602905?mt=8

BestSelf.co: https://bestself.co/

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

Advice can be a tricky thing. Last week, Anna unpacked what makes some advice…well, not so fabulous. This week, it's time to celebrate the good advice!

This is the last show of 2017, and Anna wants to end on a high note. To that purpose, she reached out to the Her Life Unscripted community with a simple question: What is the best advice you've ever been given?

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

When we talk about advice, it's really easy to remember all the bad advice we've been given. Our friends and family are always eager to offer up their wisdom and suggestions when we have a problem, but in many cases, their advice isn't exactly helpful. What do we do with bad advice? What about after you've taken bad advice?

Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE! https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

After an unplanned week's hiatus due to illness, Ana is back and healthy. She starts the show with a few small changes to look out for in the podcast, as well as an update on the hiatus in December.

With holidays fast approaching and sickness already taking its toll, now is the perfect time to slow down and think about life's big questions. We tend to want to tackle problems at the beginning of the year, and the people in our lives tend to give out a good bit of advice. How do you respond to it? Have you learned how to take advice? How about giving advice?

Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE! https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

What can you do when your heart breaks? When tragedy strikes and your world feels shaken, how is it possible to hold onto hope? What about the good things that happened just before the darkness descended? Does your current heartache cancel about all the hope and healing you just experienced?

These were the thoughts I wrestled with in this past week since the Shine Retreat wrapped up. Just as we finished up, our country was hit with the news of the Las Vegas shooting. I was hurt, shaken, and emotionally raw. I was not planning on using this wrap-up week to talk about tragedy, but, as usual, life has other bigger plans. This week, I saw so many women come to a place of healing and hope that I am refusing to let go of. I am refusing to believe that I do not make a difference, and neither should you. Let's choose to hold onto goodness and hope in this dark time. Hold onto one another, and hold onto hope. I hope you enter into this space with me this week.

Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE! https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

Hello! I'm so glad you've joined me on Day 4 of the Shine Retreat Journey. Today is the last day of the Retreat, so I wanted to share the ways that I have learned from the important women in my life during the retreat. It is refreshing to be surrounded by women who are offering hope and light to one another. Oftentimes, we wander through difficult seasons of life without a glimmer of light. I want you to know that you and I have the power to make the world a little brighter!

What are your sources of light? Perhaps the better question is who are your sources of light? You might be experiencing some of the darkest moments of your life right now, so I wanted to encourage you with the truth that dawn always breaks. If you aren't in the midst of hardship and darkness, then I would encourage you to share your light with someone. Look for the opportunities to brighten and encourage. I this quote just about sums up my week at the Shine Retreat:

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." ~ James Keller

Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE! https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!

Today is our next step our journey through the Shine Retreat as told by the eyes of the host! I have made my intention to focus on the journey, rather than the final destination, so I'm taking you along with me! Today, I have realized how exceptionally fortunate I am to have an amazing support system to get me through this new season. I would have never have made it to this point in my journey without them.

Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE! https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/

Want the full show notes? Get 'em here!