Here's Your Red Flag

Following on the heels of last week’s episode, the enneagram is such a useful tool to help us better understand ourselves, our needs, our motivations, our fears and it can help us improve relationships and better shape our goals and values. For this episode, we are going to navigate narcissism using the enneagram! We thought it would be interesting and helpful to examine the traits of each enneagram type from a narcissistic lens. We want to examine how each enneagram type can show up in an unhealthy, narcissistic way as each type can lack empathy, avoid intimacy, and/or develop a superiority complex. For more information about The Heart Magnet, you can listen to our episode covering it on Season 1, Episode 12.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow Here’s Your Red Flag on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter:

Here's Your Red Flag on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086177694443

Here's Your Red Flag on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/heresyourredflag/

Here's Your Red Flag on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/heresyourred

Here's Your Red Flag Podcast is intended for mature audiences only. Lisa and I created this podcast with the goal of enlightening each other and our listeners in prevailing over narcissistic and toxic people and relationships. Many of our episodes will include topics such as psychological, emotional and physical abuse, and detailed narcissistic and toxic behaviors. Our podcast is for educational and self-improvement purposes only and should not be viewed as a replacement for therapy. We are not professional therapists.

If you have a red flag story you’d like to share for an upcoming episode, we would love to hear from you. You can reach us by email at [email protected] or private message us through HYRF Facebook or Instagram pages.

If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

In this episode, in keeping with our mission to equip each other with strategies for ultimate and lasting mental health, Toni and Lisa explain the ancient theory of the Enneagram which is an organized tool that explains our core beliefs, motivations, and personalities.

Learning our enneagram personality type, and learning about the other personality types, is like a super power through which to view personality types through an insightful new lens where we might learn more deeply about ourselves and help us better navigate both healthy and toxic relationships.

Toni and Lisa had a bit of fun by choosing examples of enneagram types from TV, movies, books and celebrities! So fun!

Free Enneagram Test: (Test #2 is the short version Lisa mentions.)

https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test

Where each type goes when healthy and unhealthy:

https://ninetypes.co/blog/enneagram-movement-points

Great books and articles about the enneagram:

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile:

https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1673116081&sr=8-1

Enneagram types:

https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/enneagram-types/

Thorough enneagram information:

https://www.integrative9.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAzeSdBhC4ARIsACj36uGWp5v6K7cUe7j3Otj8MCA2qm5RJxLaW6tu9seCaeoDxmWclhbxl20aAlGBEALw_wcB

https://www.integrative9.com/enneagram/

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow Here's Your Red Flag on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Here's Your Red Flag Podcast is intended for mature audiences only. Many of our episodes will include topics such as psychological, emotional and physical abuse, and detailed narcissistic and toxic behaviors. Our podcast is for educational and self-improvement purposes only and should not be viewed as a replacement for therapy. We are not professional therapists.

If you have a red flag story you’d like to share for an upcoming episode, we would love to hear from you. You can reach us by email at [email protected] or private message us through HYRF Facebook or Instagram pages.

If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa discuss nine reasons women fall for bad boys and discuss how to break the pattern of falling for these types of men.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Here's Your Red Flag on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086177694443

Here's Your Red Flag on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heresyourredflag/

Here's Your Red Flag on Twitter: https://twitter.com/heresyourred

Here's Your Red Flag podcast is intended for mature audiences only. Lisa and I created this podcast with the goal of enlightening each other and our listeners in prevailing over narcissistic and toxic people and relationships. Many of our episodes will include topics such as psychological, emotional and physical abuse, and detailed narcissistic and toxic behaviors. Our podcast is for educational and self-improvement purposes only and should not be viewed as a replacement for therapy. We are not professional therapists.

If you have a red flag story you’d like to share for an upcoming episode, we would love to hear from you. You can reach us by email at [email protected] or private message us through HYRF Facebook or Instagram pages.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be viewed as a replacement for therapy. We are not professional therapists. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa discuss 20 social media red flags to watch out for in relationships, such as: they are always on their phone, they have secret accounts, they stay on dating apps in a relationship, they post provocative pictures and/or follow other accounts with provocative pictures, they continue to communicate with or follow an ex, they send flirtatious texts to others, they try to control your online content, the pitfalls of being catfished and many more!

More information about “catfishing”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catfishing

Thank you for listening to season one of our podcast. We are actively researching and preparing for season 2! We wish you all a safe and very happy holiday season! Talk with ya’ll next year!

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

In this episode, Licensed Professional Therapist, Johanna Montenegro, walks us through the cycle of violence, trauma bonding, being stuck, and questions to ask yourself in toxic and narcissistic relationships. She also discusses the path out of such relationships.

Johanna is a Licensed Professional Counselor serving Texas and is the owner of Whole Life Healing Therapy, where she is serving women through trauma counseling, focusing on relational trauma including childhood abuse and neglect, spiritual trauma and narcissist abuse recovery. She is also the owner of The Mindful Collective Studio, where she provides integrative trauma-informed mindfulness practices focusing on healing the mind, body and heart. Learn more about Johanna’s from her website: http://wholelifehealingtherapies.com/

You can find Johanna on her Instagram accounts: https://www.instagram.com/wholelifehealing_/

and https://www.instagram.com/themindfulcollectivestudio/

Her email address is: [email protected]

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

We all were born with an internal guidance system that allows us to make our way through life, but we can become disconnected from this system. Carol walks us through the process of strengthening our heart magnet—it’s like a muscle to develop and strengthen. As adults, we are able to choose to reactivate this system.

Carol McClelland Fields, PhD, BCC is a coach, trainer, and author/creator of the Seasons of Change, Purpose Clarity, and several other programs including the Heart Magnet. When working with clients, Carol provides unique tools, refreshing perspectives, and powerful insights to help them transform their confusion, frustration, and procrastination into clarity, hope, and positive action. You can discover more about her programs at https://www.seasonsofchange.com/

Heart Magnet: Discover What You Are Drawn To

https://www.seasonsofchange.com/ebooks/heart-magnet

If you work with clients in transition, visit Carol’s other site: Flourish as a Change Catalyst for resources, training opportunities and business mentoring specifically for Change Catalysts.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa discuss the five types of narcissists and each give an example of each type from movies, TV and literature. It was such a fun episode to record!

Helpful resources:

Bonding with Baby While Feeding:

https://www.allinahealth.org/healthysetgo/care/eye-contact-helps-babies-learn-to-talk#:~:text=Whether%20breast%2D%20or%20bottle%2Dfed,a%20moment%20between%20two%20people).

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3916850/

Developing Your Children’s Empathy https://www.brighthorizons.com/resources/Article/empathy-and-young-children#:~:text=Reading%20is%20a%20great%20time,led%20you%20to%20that%20observation.

Types of Narcissists

https://psychcentral.com/health/types-of-narcissism#communal

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa Interview Alicia Gregg, a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate.

We have the ability to change irrational beliefs into rational beliefs and we can conquer emotional disregulation in toxic situations. Lisa discusses a mindfulness exercise when dealing with past feelings and emotions related to a toxic partner. Alicia discusses Gottman Couples’ Therapy and the Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling and ways to replace them with healthy communication patterns, called Antidotes (Gentle Start-Up, Appreciation, Take Responsibility, Self-Soothing).

Our guest on this episode, Alicia Gregg, is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate with the Woodlands Family Institute. Her goal as a counselor is to provide an accepting, caring, and compassionate environment in which clients will feel comfortable exploring problems and implementing beneficial changes in their lives. You can contact her through this website: https://www.wfipc.com

How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything--Yes, Anything! by Albert Ellis

Additional resource:

The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling

https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa dive deeper into some of the main red flags in intimate partner relationships specifically.

Topics Covered in the first half of the episode: Narcissist/Toxic Person Test, How Does this Person Make Me Feel?, What is NOT Normal, Red Flags that Really Bring It Home.

In the second half of the episode they discuss domestic violence awareness, an exit plan from abusive relationships, and Lundy Bancroft’s early warning signs in abusive intimate partner relationships and the key difference between abusers and narcissists.

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Lundy Bancroft on Narcissists vs Abusers (YouTube)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iYfG8x80Yw

Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence

https://www.ctcadv.org/training-events/purple-thursday/

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS#:~:text=1%20in%203%20women%20and,be%20considered%20%22domestic%20violence.%22&text=1%20in%207%20women%20and,injured%20by%20an%20intimate%20partner

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org

Toni and Lisa have collected and compiled a very comprehensive list of red flags from their own experiences and research, and they are so excited to finally share these with listeners. This episode focuses on red flags to watch for in the early stages of a relationship, as the relationship progresses, and how toxic people display flags in general to others.

If you enjoyed our podcast, please leave us 5 stars. We would really appreciate it! You can learn more about Toni and Lisa by visiting our website: https://heresyourredflag.com/ and we invite you to join us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The content in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. If you are experiencing an emergency, please contact the appropriate authorities.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org