Herni's Thoughts

Life's good...yeah but sometimes I just start wonder "why"...

Life isn't always what you think it'd be... Turn your head for a second and the table turns . Yeah, I know that I did you wrong, but will you trust me when I say I'll make it up to you someday. i gats face up , i gats get mine, coz I can't know the top till I get too low ..... I tried hard to make you want me ,but it feels like we're not meant to be ,and the truth will always haunt me ,tho it sets me free. Like a distant memory I'll leave again... I kinda know love can be so easy if i start by loving myself 🙂.

Hey

I looked forward to every single day thinking you might confess how you feel

Yh

I know I'm the one who doesn't wanna waste time ,coz I think I know how it's going to end

I really don't want to consume my emotions on you,cos I think it's a waste of time

But yet I'm trying

I'm trying not to know much about you, that'd be hard for me to go back to being strangers with you

I'm trying to understand that there's no sun for those who met at night ,just the moon

I'm trying hard not to spend the night with you and start Wondering what we are after the sun comes up,

Yh

I'm trying hard not to get involved in emotional exhaustion,coz it gets me even more lonelier

Yh

I'm trying

I believe there's this point in our life that we seem to have a dying wish and at that point in time, everything seem awkward and absurd... Yh ...funny tho,i guess I'm at that point rn , it's kinda like weird I'm sharing it out , but it's not to me ,it get things off my chest ..... I hope you enjoy listening

It's just a bonus ... I already made today's podcast, but guys I had to change it to this... 'tis damn funny

Herni💜: Hey, I mean you

I wonder when you're coming home

And if at all you'd come

I tell you,

You've been gone for too long

And I've been all alone...

I used to be your comfort zone

I used to be your one and only

I used to be the one you wanna hold

Remember?

I would wanna hold you, falling in your arms

Yeah...

We go through phases

I know some days are breaking

I Know some days are bulletproof

I know we keep on changing

But one thing is always true

I'll never give you up

Twas easy when we started

Coz twas everything I ever wanted

But this love feels different Everytime.

Coz we go through phases....

I'm not perfect but I'm trying

Yeah...

I wouldn't lie ,

It's amazes me

You moved on so easily from someone you once called home

It kills me inside

Yh ..

It hurts a lot

I know I miss you

I hope you miss me too

Coz I don't wanna Miss somebody who's not missing me

Don't you understand I'm trying!

And maybe I'm a mess

But God knows how

Mmmmm

I wish I had discipline for me

Coz I don't know how to turn down the way I feel

I guess I still need you to come home 😔

(Smiles)

I said home

The broken one?

Let's build it together again

So we can feel comfortable, trusted and open.

And errrhm.... Share our feelings

The truth is

For so long

I forgot that I've been stucked in one place than a cave of a lifetime

A deep dark cave

And then ,

I let out some egos outta my world

And you came around and brought the good out of me

For the first time I started to feel things again

I started to feel happy

But lately

I guess I'm feeling distant from you

I care, yh, I miss us

But I know you wanna move on.

And if I'm being really honest,

That's what scares me

I don't want things to change

That's why I think maybe I should stop the change

To turn back the clock

To make things go back to how they were

But I Know that's naive

It's just not how life works

Let's move on

Sometimes it's painful

Sometimes it's sad

Sometimes it's surprisingly happy

So you know what,

Keep on moving on

Who am I to stop you.

Make mistakes

Learn from them,

And when life hurts you, because it will

Remember the heart .

To hurt is good

It moves you out of that cave

But please keep the door open

The door of your heart

But I still hope you come home soon😔

Yeah, we'd rather be a lover than a fighter

'Cause all this while, we've been silent

Never felt a feeling of comfort,

And all this time, we've been hiding

And we never had the chance to speak up

We're so used to being quiet

But with the silence

We found peace in your violence

Can't tell us there's no point in trying

We're at one, and we've been quiet for too long

It's time for us to take it

We're the boss right now

Ain't gonna fake it

Not until you go down

'Cause this our game

And you better come to play

We used to hold our freak back

Now we're not letting go

We make our own choice, we run this show

So leave the lights on

No! you can't make us behave

So you say we're complicated

That we must be outta our mind

But you had us underrated

Now we're not gonna be silent anymore

Coz, you've taken our silence for weakness,

Now we *RISE*

*WEAK*

When everything gets broken

The devil hits his stride

Remember what I told you?

I'll need to hide behind

Fear of moments stolen

Coz I never wanna say good night

So we can run into the open

With your hand inside of mine

And when everything is over

I hope to think of this as better times

Yeah...

We're doing okay so far

But things could get better if we realize

That all we need to do is help each other

As long as we are alive

I just wanna be as happy as I can be

Coz everytime I think I have it all figured and planned

I get confused

Guess I'm too weak

My demons and I had a holy dance

And I won't lie

Success has it's Downfall

I'm really tired of everything around me

Yh,

Everybody is going through some real shit

We all have demons that we don't show

Dying in silence

But this despicable violence in soul keeps coming

Making me wonder

Who am I ?

But I guess I'm just someone that's afraid to let go

Coz I'm sad and low

(Mmmmmm)

They say the sky's the limit

And to me that's really true

I'll keep pushing

Just wait 'til I get through...😪

Coma

Growth