Hey Beauty

We’re back with part 2 of the story of Carrah Quigley. As you know if you’ve watched part 1, you heard about the crime Carrah’s Father committed - he was a school shooter. In this episode, Carrah talks about the impact on her after she found out about her Father’s crime at age 19.

Don’t Use Your Big Thing

In acting school, Carrah was taught to never use your big thing to play a scene. So she felt like she had so much about her that she couldn’t even use, which made her less successful than she could have been.

It’s the Bullying

Carrah knew about her Father’s crime, and eventually she realized the trauma inside her Father is what caused his rage. He was bullied for 15 years before it came to a head on the night he committed his crime. Carrah wasn’t worried about passing on a genetic disposition for crime to her daughter because she knew the catalyst for the crime was always the bullying. This is why her mission in life is to stop bullying.

The Next Generation

Carrah’s daughter inadvertently found out about her Grandfather's crime when her Grendmother slipped and mentioned the documentary they did. Being a curious child, she googled it and found the documentary and the whole story unfolded. She accepted it and never held it against her Grandfather.

Redemption

Carrah was raised in a Christian home. Her Father felt like his redemption happened through Jesus Christ, and he always worked out his salvation through ministry with refugees.

2nd Generation Trauma

Carrah spent a lot of her time in seminary trying to make up for the life that was taken. She felt like if she could save enough lives then it would make up for the life her Father took. It wasn’t until later that Carrah realized she was experiencing 2nd generation trauma and she would never be able to atone for her Father’s crime.

Letting Him Go

Carrah found solace in eastern religions and eventually found her way to yoga. It was at a yoga retreat that Carrah got real about the burden she was carrying - her Father’s victim - and she finally decided to make a monumental decision to let him go. It was a pivotal moment in her healing and it’s still very emotional for her today.

Connect with Carrah:

Search Anatomy of a School Shooting on FB Live

Instagram: https://instagram.com/CarrahQ

Carrah Quigley is a spiritual person. She’s got advanced degrees in religion and she’s a respected international speaker on the subject. She’s here today to share the amazing and tragic story of her family. 

Having the Perfect Dad

Carrah grew up in a seemingly idyllic family. Her Dad was a Psychology professor and her life seemed very normal growing up. Carrah knew her Dad gave back to the community in a big way. In so many ways, her Dad was one of the most caring men she’s ever known.

Having Her World Shattered

When Carrah was 19 years old, her Dad called his kids together and made a startling confession. When he was the same age as her, he killed someone. He was a school shooter. Although he intended to kill many people on that fateful night in 1955, he ended up only killing one person, before he dropped his weapon and turned himself in to the police.

A New Normal

Carrah’s world was forever changed after this revelation from her Father. She couldn’t believe he had kept this secret all her life, and she also feared how others would view her and her family if they knew this information.

Mental Health as a Focus

In talking to her Father about his crime, Carrah learned that he had been placed in a psychiatric hospital after the murder and eventually declared insane. This declaration was what eventually led to his release. Carrah found out that her Father suffered from PTSD as a result of constant bullying from the time he was 4 years old. He was a ticking time bomb, and he says that he wasn’t even conscious when he committed his crime.

Intervention and Prevention

Carrah now dedicates a large portion of her career to giving talks about bullying and mental health. She realizes that we live in a country that has so many guns, and coupled with the fact that we have so little mental health resources, she’s concerned about all of the boys and men that are being left to their own devices to cope instead of becoming the next school shooter.

Mixed Emotions and Guilt

If you think about most of the school shootings in recent memory, one thing that almost all of them have in common is that they are men, but only one in recent years has had children of his own. Carrah understands the stigma of having a parent who is a notorious school shooter. She also realizes how talking about what she has been through can help others who may be dealing with bullying, autism or other mental health issues.

Connect with Carrah:

https://carrahquigley.com

Connect with Seraphine:
https://seraphiend.com

Kara is a tattoo artist and her specialty is helping women who have survived breast cancer. She tattoos realistic looking areolas for women who have had mastectomies, so that they can feel better about themselves and improve their self-esteem.

Learning a New Craft

Kara took a leap when she decided to do medical tattooing. She had no idea what all of the terminology was and how many different ways there would be just to help women who survived breast cancer. Still she stepped out of her comfort zone and persevered because she knew there were women out there that needed her help.

Opening During COVID

Even though COVID was happening, Kara still felt like the universe was telling her to go out on her own and leave the typical tattoo shop that she was working in. Against all odds, she found the perfect spot and even though it was too much space, but she felt like it was meant for something bigger.

The Imposter Syndrome

Kara constantly fights the imposter syndrome and just when she thinks she has everything under control, imposter syndrome rears its head. Kara doesn’t let it take over, and she just pushes ahead anyway.

Workaholic Plus Fun

Kara is used to focusing on others for her own happiness. She is a constant pep talk for anyone who comes in contact with her. She uses her hyper-activity as a force to give away, otherwise she will explode! Kara is always moving and always doing, but she helps others rather than focusing on herself.

Finding a Personal Assistant

Kara has now hired an assistant and it has changed her life. She’s really been able to achieve more because of the help she has. 

What the Future Holds

Kara has got some collaborative efforts underway and she is looking forward to unveiling those projects. Kara is going to keep growing and she will continue to get as much education as possible so she can help more people.

Giving It Away

Kara’s greatest high is being able to give away her best work to women who desperately need it, but have no ability to afford it. Kara works harder than ever so that she has the ability to give away a portion of her work.

Connect with Kara:

https://spotonbeautykc.com

Connect with Seraphine:
https://seraphiend.com

In this Phiending For More, Seraphiend has an intimate conversation with her friend Cara about female sexuality. This conversation started as a commentary about Cardi B's WAP video, and it evolved into personal revelations about what women really want and how its much different than what is portrayed in movies and television. https://seraphiend.com

In this episode of the Serphiend Podcast, Seraphine sits down to check in with the doctor. Dr. Auburn Ellis joins this 3rd interview with Seraphine as they discuss where their emotions are now.

Channeling Something

What started out as channeling rage over the death of George Floyd has now boiled over into an overwhelmed feeling of despair when we look at where our country is today. Dr. Auburn has been able to pour her efforts into her anti-racism classes.

Facing Your Own Racism

As an anti-racism educator, Dr. Auburn is frequently met with reactions of “I have a headache” after she completes her workshops. In those workshops, she’s confronting middle aged white women who have never had an awareness of their privilege, with the fact that they are enabling systemic racism by not standing up against it. She admits, it’s heavy work!

Have an Opinion

Since starting the podcast, Seraphine has felt more empowered than ever to have an opinion and put a stake in the ground against racial injustice, but it’s harder and harder to tolerate those who are too scared to come out with their opinions for fear of offending someone. It’s time to have some guts and to lay down the gauntlet because the time for inaction and complacency has passed.

Holding Each Other Accountable

Over the past 6 months, Seraphine and Dr. Auburn have become accountability partners, in a way. They force each other to examine the truth, no matter how ugly it may be. Holding this sort of space for each other has been good because it’s also allowed for some deeper conversations about how we look at other people and how ways we can fight for everyone to have space at the table.

Voting Has Never Been More Important

Even if you are feeling overwhelmed with the weight of our present darkness, there are actions you can take to make a difference. Vote as if your life depends on it, because it really does. Vote as if your healthcare depends on it, because it really does. Vote as if your freedom depends on it, because it really does.

To learn more about how to fight the fight for racial equality, where everyone has a place at the table, you can check out Dr. Auburn Ellis’ Anti-Racism Crash Course, click here: http://www.auburnaesthetic.com/studio-54oo-1

In this episode, Seraphine sits down with Elina Katsman. Elina is the co-owner of The Clothes Rak and she is a Mom, a lover of yoga, family and getting everything you want out of life! Elina lives in Kansas City, but her style and her customers are very international!

Starting a Fashion Line

Elina and her bestie Ember have different styles, but found themselves drawn to the same types of fashion, so their fashion line, The Clothes Rak , it's a unique blend of both of their influences.

Balancing Family and Business

Elina's husband manages all of the finances for her business and she relies on his business sense to help direct the company. This has served her business well and she loves having his input and she trusts his business advice.

Making Tough Fashion Choices

Covid definitely caused a pivot in the product lines that The Clothes Rak sells. They saw a shift in women wanting more loungewear and even athleisure wear because so much time was being spent at home. 

Ecommerce Boom During Covid

With quarantine changing so much about our shopping habits, e-commerce has really benefitted from these changes. Everyone is now shopping online for clothes, shoes and even groceries and enjoying delivery to their door!

Try On Sessions

Elina and Ember have been able to personalize their shop in a very boutique kind of way by having fitting and try on sessions by appointment. This gives them the opportunity to hear what their customers want and to provide extra attention for their best customers. 

Making Fashion Choices Make Sense

Elina likes to have some high end pieces in her wardrobe and she would rather spend more money on pieces that she wears and relies on everyday, because over the long haul, it actually costs less.

Covid Has Been Good for Business

Although, they were initially not well stocked with inventory when Covid hit, it's actually been good for their business. Putting more shoppers in the e-commerce world has broadened her customer base. 

Future Plans Beyond Covid

Don't be surprised to see The Clothes Rak push more into a retail environment with pop up shops and even more trunk shows in the coming year! They will always enjoy their e-commerce customers too!

Connect with Elina:

https://theclothesrak.com

The Clothes Rak on Instagram

https://seraphiend.com

Seraphiend on Instagram

#1DapperLatino #Influencer #influence

In this episode, Seraphine sits down with Kansas City influencer, 1 Dapper Latino, Josue Montes. Josue is a fashion and interior design icon in Kansas City, who has developed his own style and carries it into every project he touches. He knows all of the new and trendy places in Kansas City and if you follow him on Instagram, you'll find yourself wanting to visit all the beautiful places that he visits.

https://seraphiend.com

https://1dapperlatino.com

#meditation #beingpresent #seraphiend

In this episode, Seraphine talks to Craig Donnell, Jr. Seraphine and Craig get real about their failures with being present in the most important relationships in their lives.

As a new Father, Craig reveals how he has had to face his own inadequacies and how he's had to refocus on living in the moment so that he can enjoy every moment of his young son's life.

https://seraphiend.com

In this episode, Seraphine and her producer Aaron reflect on that first episode of the podcast. It was a controversial topic and it really felt like there was so much at stake when they recorded it. 

#spirituality #spiritual #conversations

In this episode, Seraphine talks to Isaac and Rachel Collins about the unprecedented times that we live in and how they live out their spirituality in our toxic political environment. https://seraphiend.com