Hey Jacob, Hi Scott

In this conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about what do to with feelings of hopelessness, and how to know, not that it’s always possible, whether you’re rooted in deep acceptance or deep denial (They can look the same.). They discuss the “come-down” from transformative experiences and how tricky it can be to integrate a powerful event into your day-to-day reality, and how much self-grace is necessary while doing so. The friends responded to a listener’s question about worthiness, lack, and feeling less than, focusing on the distinctive voices of the heart, mind, and soul.

A question to consider: How would your life look and feel different if you were to accept that every single thing about you is a natural reflection of the human experience?

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Many spiritual people are involved in a radical denial of what is happening. 

They want to transcend it, get rid of it, get out of it, get away from it. There’s nothing wrong with that feeling, but the approach doesn’t work because it’s escapism in spiritual clothing. It’s wearing spiritual clothing and spiritual concepts, but it is really no different than a drunk in the gutter who doesn’t want to feel the pain anymore. When you abide and accept everything completely, you automatically go beyond.

– Adyashanti

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Register for the Julia Cameron "Artist's Way Essential Tools" workshop with Jacob's Institute for Creative Living in May

In this conversation, Jacob and Scott take a deep dive into friendship and relationships in general. As heartbreaking as it can be to part with a close friend, why do we not have any break-up rituals for it? The friends talk a lot about boundaries, what they actually are, and how to enforce them, as well as the need (as difficult as it can be) for honest dialogue within relationships. We hold back the truth for so many reasons, none of which moves a relationship forward in a clear and healthy way. They discuss moving forward after parting ways without closure or having all or any answers as to why things went down the way they did.

By poet, feminist leader Adrienne Rich:

An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.

It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.

It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.

In this conversation, Jacob and Scott almost talk about sex but don’t … until the end when Jacob tells a story that references his enormous erection. Who knew? Aside from sex, they dive into the different ways our fears can prevent us from showing up in our authenticity, especially when our truth and choices conflict with those we consider to be “on our team.” They also talk about transformational/holotropic breathwork practices and the power of the breath to move energy, release blocks, and create healing. Jacob shares his intention for this season to be more interactive with listeners, so head to heyjacobhiscott.com and submit some questions or discussion topics to the guys.

It’s been a couple of months, but Jacob and Scott are back with their first episode of Season 2. In this conversation, the friends talk about the stories we tell about ourselves, how important it is to become aware of them so we can extract ourselves from them, and the necessity for committed gentleness throughout the process. They discuss how it feels to be guided in our choices, by energy or forces that seem to exist outside of ourselves, and how the practice of being open to guidance, from the natural world as an example, creates more opportunities for guidance to present itself. They invite us to look at where we are forcing versus allowing. The focus is on self-love and offers some basic steps we can take right now to align ourselves with more of it. It’s a joyful and heart-opening launch to the second season!

Click here to visit Scott Stabile's Bigger Love substack page

The Reading: 

"It's one thing to acknowledge how difficult this life can be, but it's another thing to focus on it, to talk about everything that feels wrong all the time, to act like there is only darkness and misery here. In our compulsion not to deny the harsh realities of this unpredictable existence, we often end up denying the extraordinary beauty. We focus our gaze on division and blind ourselves to real connection, we seek out examples of brutality and ignore the many moments of kindness, we bind ourselves to the opinions of others and silence the deep wisdom of our hearts. In our effort to avoid spiritual bypassing we pass right by the endless exhibits of love on this planet, within this humanity, from one to another and another to one. There is so much hardship here, yes, too much, and there is so much beauty too. Where are you looking and what are you looking for?" – Scott Stabile

In this New Year’s Eve conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about the New Year, and specifically what intentions they hold going into 2022. They discuss remaining fluid as we try new things, not locking ourselves into habitual patterns unless of course, those patterns continue to work for us. They talk about trust, in ourselves, and in life in general, and how the deeper we are able to trust, the more courageous we become in our self-expression. And vice versa. The friends reflect on some listeners’ submissions and invite everyone to enter the new year with an openness to more abundant self-love and the love of others as a guiding force in our lives.

Enroll in Scott's "Imagine It"online intensive: CLICK HERE

Enroll in the Heal + Create virtual retreat: CLICK HERE

Attend Jacob Nordby's open gathering, Creative Healing: the Poems & Poetry of Paul David Shea: CLICK HERE (Jan 5 for live gathering or click to watch the replay!)

From Toko-Pa Turner's book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home

I believe we have more than enough creativity to solve the problems of our times, but we have to make a perilous trek into the wilderness within to reclaim it.

There is a stand of undeveloped jungle within each of us, that can never be domesticated. It is a borderless land, beyond personality and convention, even beyond thought, where pure creativity arises. Like the signature song of a tropical bird, the spiraling of an arbutus tree, the evening scent of a jasmine bush, there is an essence in each of us intended to be expressed. Few make the trek into this creative wild because the path requires great vulnerability. To come into our true originality, we must surrender the layers of numbness we use to protect our hearts.

In this conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about the difference between “I am” and “I feel” when talking about how we’re feeling, and learning to be present with our emotions without becoming them. They talk about not being committed to things playing out the same way they often played out in the past. How can we be intentional about creating different outcomes for holidays or seasons that have proven to be difficult? They discuss opinions versus truth, as well as the limitations created by all of the polarization in our world. When we get locked in our own certainty, we remain closed to new information and ideas. When we stay open to alternative ideas, we are likely to create more bridges of communication and understanding. 

RESPONSE REQUESTED: The friends ask listeners to go to heyjacobhiscott.com and share a desire they’d like to create for this new year, as well as something they want to release.

Scott’s January workshop, Imagine It!: https://imagineit.eventbrite.com

Jacob’s February retreat, Heal + Create: https://healcreate.org/?sld=1

Scott’s Substack newsletter: scottstabile.substack.com

Poem:

Go to the Limits of Your Longing, by Rainer Maria Rilke

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,

Flare up like a flame

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Nearby is the country they call life.

Give me your hand.

What does it mean to find a way of belonging – and a feeling that we belong in our own lives? In this conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about the social constructs that create the false notion of separation, and the importance of moving beyond us vs. them thinking. They discuss the direct correlation between how we feel about ourselves and how we show up with others, and how critical self-love is in terms of creating more fulfilling relationships. They also speak to the difficult reality for many of us during the holidays and the benefits of not putting too much pressure on ourselves to be wise and awakened humans when we’re around our family members. The friends dive into the power of intention and visualization to create more meaningful (and magical lives) and speak about the importance of integrating the tools we learn from podcasts, and books, and workshops, and whatever else.

Scott’s Substack newsletter: scottstabile.substack.com

Scott’s January workshop, Imagine It!: https://imagineit.eventbrite.com

Jacob’s February retreat, Heal + Create: https://healcreate.org 

In this conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about self-worth, and how it affects our willingness to put our art/work into the world and ask for money in support of it. They talk about the energy of scarcity and how that naturally limits the opportunities for abundance, and ways in which giving and receiving are actually operating from the same energetic channel. The friends call on us all to bring awareness to how we are seeing ourselves and to understand we set the example for how others see us. There is always an opportunity to consider different choices than those that feel unhealthy, and that the consideration alone creates a shift in what’s possible. As always, the friends apply these concepts to day-to-day realities and give tangible examples of how to integrate them into our lives.

Scott’s Substack newsletter: scottstabile.substack.com

Scott’s January workshop, Imagine It!: https://imagineit.eventbrite.com

In this conversation, Jacob and Scott talk about the difference between being responsive and reactionary. How can we grow in our truth without needing to turn others into enemies? How can we connect to the humanity in everyone, even those we vehemently disagree with? They discuss using questions as a way of interrupting negative, often self-abusive energy. What happens when you ask yourself, “What is love inviting me to do at this moment?” The friends dive into self-love (as always!) and remind us of the importance of acknowledging the ways in which we are showing up for ourselves in loving ways. Everything is energy, after all. When we focus on how loving we are, we are that much more likely to be that much more loving.

Affirmation from Chani Nicholas: 

“Honoring my lineage sometimes looks like a radical departure from my family system, patterns, and propensities. Showing love to all those that brought me here includes being brave enough to heal what they could not.”