Hidden Addict

Finally! I had to split it into two but ladies and gentleman; at long last, episode eight has arrived. This topic is very hard for me to talk about because I see the impact of narcissism every single day. In Tik Tok threads and youtube vidoes. People are trying so very hard to understand the twisted relationship that they have found themselves in and the sad thing is that its never something that will ever make sense one-hundred percent . It makes me so sad to have gone through the experience myself but it is my hope by sharing it that someone out there that is feeling lost in their relationship; that they have no idea what changed or what is happening, that they will hear this and finally have some answers. I would have done anything to have stumbled upon something like this episode when I was going through it myself. I would have given so much just to know that I was not this horrible shell of a person that my significant other made me believe I had become. Remember; if someone does not want the best for you; if someone does not love and support you, then you have every right to leave. You are worth it. I promise you are. I love you.

Please go to www.hiddenaddict.com and contact me if you are a person experiencing this and need help. I am here. I will help. I will listen. I love you. You are worth it.

Im cursed and as hard as I have tried to get you a new episode that is just SITTING ON MY COMPUTER, my curse wont allow it to air. So this is the best you get ladies and gentleman. They say drugs will destroy your life? Um so about that. Try being cursed. That takes the cake.

In 2009 a man kidnapped me from our home. He tried to kill me. It was the classic story we all watch when flipping through the movies channel. The only thing that is never classic however is being the star of the show. For most the star of the show does not get to survive to tell the tale from their own experience. See, people seemt to think that these things can never happen to them. That they only happen to the people on tv. People do not realise that those stories, those people, on the TV are no differnt then you and me. They had hopes and dreams and had a life that they lived that was no more unique then your own. Anybody could have been me that day. Unfortunetly for me; anybody was me.

I had a random UA at work. It is an addict's nightmare but it made me ponder the question of why? What am I asking? Why would I have to lose my job just because I use drugs? This seems like a laughable question but if you can stop laughing for a second and really think about it then you could see why I ask why. If someones is on time, does their job well, get along with others, and does not cause any safety hazards then why would they have to lose their job? If this is still laughable to you then listen and maybe you can learn why it is not so funny.

As an addict, it is a pain in the ass to go to the ER. We are treated differently even if why we are there has nothing to do with our addiction. We are judged as a person off of one fact: we use drugs. However; this is not ok. Each person should be respected as much as the next. We should not be made to wait longer or be talked down too or handed recovery pamphlets time after time again. It should not matter why we are there. All that should matter is that we are.

Have you ever wondered how you are going to handle telling someone new in your life that you are an addict? Do you want to know what their response would be? It might not be as scary as you think. Listen to this and hear real answers from someone that was in my life.

We all do things everyday that make us unhappy and I want to pose the question of why? Do you go to the gym because you like it or is it because you are not a pretty as the girl on the magazine? Do you wear make-up because you like it or is it becasue you are not as pretty as the girl on the magazine. We do so many things every single day that we hate and we are just supposed to be ok with it...but why? When will you stop being ok?

The world does not entertain the idea that people can use substances and still function. We have relationships and friendships. We have  bank account with money in it and pay or bills. We eat, sleep and even stand in line at the DMV. We do all the things everyone else does but we have to hide that we use or risk losing everything that we love. 

The day my world stood still