I didn't know it at the time, but 10 years ago today, I started my healing journey. It started with a choice. A choice I made for myself, by myself, without any outside influence from friends, family, or colleagues. A choice made independently of any expectations I had been trying to meet. Ten years ago today, I made my way from my office at my swanky agency job in Chicago out west to rural Illinois to a little town off of Highway 30, eventually arriving at a skydiving center. I had decided I wanted to learn how to skydive by myself, not attached to an instructor.  

After falling feet-knees-face into the grass after exiting my vehicle, I walked into a tiny airplane hangar and met my instructor, Barry. Over the course of the next four hours, this man taught me how to save my own life. He met me where I was. He was kind. He was also devastatingly handsome and I loved him instantly, but it felt different from anything I had experienced before. I drove home from that skydiving class and knew I was forever changed. This was the man I would eventually marry. Barry was the first person I trusted enough to share my survivor story with. He's put me back together through broken bones, broken spirit, and a broken heart. Hiking My Feelings would not exist today without him. Frankly, neither would I. He saw me then, he sees me now, and I finally feel like the woman I've always known I could be.  

Tonight, we celebrate healing and what it means to step into yourself and become fully embodied.   

Join us around the Virtual Campfire as we chat with Kristina Italic, Michelle LeRoy and Victoria Amico. These women have all been an integral part of my journey as Sydney, and our journey as an organization here at Hiking My Feelings. If you're feeling trapped in your body, completely disconnected, and you're ready to come home to yourself, we hope to see you around the fire.

"Embrace Your Stink" is something Barry said to me before we hiked from Little Harbor to Two Harbors on the #TransCatalinaTrail. As I was hiking up this ridgeline, I thought about my stink - I was ripe after four days on the trail - but we all have a scent, it's what makes us, us. What else makes me, me? What were the things I had been trying to fix that I just couldn't? What were some of the stories I had been telling myself? All of the things that society said I had to change to fit into the American Beauty Standard, I released on this mountain. By the time I got to the top (first picture) I felt liberated from my own mental prison. Tonight, let's gather around the campfire and talk about how we can heal the world of this deep trauma we are seeing on full display. Spoiler alert: it starts with us as individuals.  

Nattali Rize says that #OneLoveIsAction and we agree. The next time I felt like I did on that mountain was when I saw Nattali play live for the first time at the Belly Up Tavern. Her mission and her message were and are right on time. Can we, as a conscious collective, embrace our stink? Can we release the lies society has conditioned us to believe and take our power back? Join me and Nattali for a campfire chat + jam session as we explore ways to bring this healing to the masses.  

Sue Shaw is the founder of Sun Drenched Vibes and owns the Reggae Ranch. Together, we are building the world we want to live in. Like Ziggy Marley says, love is our religion and everything centers around that out here on this mountain. Learn more about her story, her mission, her message.  

Sirena Rana Dufault is one of the most grounded humans I know. Her energy is an anchor and when I think about the world I want to live in, Sirena is part of that world. She's logged thousands of miles on the trails, she literally wrote the book on day hikes on the Arizona Trail, and she's on a mission to make the outdoors more inclusive and diverse.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.   

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization.   

You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give   

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When was the last time you played like a kid?  

No matter what your answer is, tonight you can remember how to play with Gary Ware around the Virtual Campfire. Gary is the founder of @breakthroughplay, an improvisor, and one of my favorite humans. In fact, Gary was my improv teacher at @finestcityimprov, and his Yoda-like wisdom straight up changed everything about how I see myself and move through the world.  

After Gary reminds us that it's okay to not take ourselves so seriously, we are chatting with Shanti Hodges, the founder of Hike It Baby. With the help of Jessica Carrillo Alatorre, she brought the organization from being a small hike group she founded in 2013, to a national non-profit supporting thousands of families to get on trails together. She founded the group after looking for a way to get outside with other parents in her area.  

We are also chatting with Marionette Audifferen! Marionette developed a heart for nature and the outdoors at an early age. She explored and played in the creek behind her home and was introduced to camping as a Girl Scout. Then life happened. Marriage, four children and 10 years living abroad resulted in less time in nature. After returning to the U.S. in 2013, Marionette picked up hiking. Earlier this year, she started the Nurtured by Nature Club to help African-American families explore and connect with nature. Marionette is also a GirlTrek Organizer and Adventure Squad Leader, encouraging African-American women to practice radical self-care through the simple act of walking.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.   

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization.   

You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give   

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KYLE SMITH @kylesmithjams says reggae music saved his life, I say hiking saved mine. Tonight we are jamming around the Virtual Campfire and sharing stories. Kyle's roots come from years of his troubled youth and addiction while living in Long Beach, CA. His self-titled debut EP gives you a glimpse of the life he endured with songs like “Dope Fiend” and “Jaded” all the while keeping an uplifting spirit and tempo. Kyle is a warrior, and a beacon of light whose goal in life is to give hope and spread positive vibes with his music. His talent is raw, natural, and unforced. Whether solo with his guitar, or backed with a band, Kyle stands tall and proud. With a flash of his smile he immediately warms up the room and invites you into his world. We are going to be chatting about how he started writing Anthems for Addicts and about his connection to nature. Aaaaand he's going to bless us with a few tunes!  

KATHRYN GOETZKE @kathryngoetzke is the founder of @ifredorg - the International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression. She is a global mental health ambassador, overcoming her own battles with depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD and addictions through therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and support. She lost her father to suicide at 19 and knows all too well the negative consequences of untreated mental health on both the self and the family system. She has committed her life to helping support others - not only the treatment of mental health disorders, but also prevention through lifestyle modifications and efforts in school.  

MELISSA GEISSINGER @survivaloversurrender showed up to our tour stop in Santa Rosa California last year with her son Apollo on her hip. This woman and her son have survived the unthinkable - losing everything they own in one of the massive California fires a couple years ago. Every. Thing. Burned. Down. But, this is one resilient human, and we are going to be chatting about what it's like to let out a big exhale after literally and proverbially holding your breath after a traumatic event.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.   

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization.   

You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give   

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When it comes to goals, life, and the stories you tell yourself, do you consider yourself a pessimist or an optimist? Do you say yes more than you say no?  

I've always been pretty good at finding the silver lining when life throws challenges my way, but taking improv classes at FCI in 2018 radically changed the way I live my life, do business, and show up for myself and our community. The power of "yes, and" has redefined how I brainstorm, how I show up in my marriage, and is the reason you've seen everything you've seen from us here at Hiking My Feelings. Following this concept and listening to the cues from the world around us has empowered us to be more creative, to dream bigger, and make a substantial impact.  

Join us tonight to hear from Amy Lisewski, owner of Finest City Improv, author, and all around Empowered Funny Woman. She'll be sharing some stories from her girl scout days and we are gonna see if we can create the world we want to live in LIVE around the campfire tonight with the power of "yes, and!" Then we bring in Michelle LeRoy, one of my BFF's and another incredibly funny woman.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.   

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization.   

You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give   

Every day is a new opportunity to make a difference. With each opportunity that comes our way, Barry and I ask ourselves two questions:  

1. Will this make the world a better place for EVERYONE, not just for some of us? 2. Does this feel good?  

If the answer to those two questions is yes, then we go forth with enthusiasm and gratitude.  

Tonight, as with every night around the Virtual Campfire, we hope to make the world a bit better for everyone. Swipe through the photos to meet our guests:

Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis is a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University. She is the 2015 awardee for the California Psychological Association Distinguished Scientist Award for her research addressing trauma and oppression. She is also a past president of the Society for the Psychology of Women and a former American Psychological Association representative to the United Nations. She received the Early Career Distinguished Contributions to Psychology in the Public Service award.  Dr. Bryant-Davis is director of the Culture and Trauma Research Lab at Pepperdine University which focuses on the cultural context of recovery from interpersonal traumas such as child abuse, sexual assault, intimate partner abuse, racism, and human trafficking.  

This is going to be an AWESOME fireside chat, and if you have questions for Dr. Thema, leave them in the comments!  

Tonight we are having a #HikingMyFeelingsFamily meeting with the folks who have been the "first" to do something to help us inch our movement forward: 

Becca was the first person to use the hashtag after I started writing about #hikingmyfeelings.  

Ash was the first person to ask a question on my first speaking tour.  Pete was the first person to ask about the process of Hiking My Feelings - how do you do it?  

Laura was the first person to pre-order the book last year.  

All of these people have been integral to our growth and evolution and we are so excited to chat with them about how hiking has helped them heal and what the movement means to them.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.   

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization.   

You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give   

One of the biggest gifts in this life is to be seen. To be met where you're at. To be supported. To be believed. In fact, the combo of being seen and believed is one of the most potent ways we can show up for ourselves and each other.  

Tonight around the Virtual Campfire, we are sharing stories about mentorship, community, and the power of having someone in your corner who sees you, believes you, and believes IN you.  

AARON STROUT  @aaronstrout has been one of the most influential people in my adult life. He sees me. He believes in me. He has gone to bat for me. He has been one of the biggest supporters of what we are building here. Tonight we are resurrecting our 2011 SXSW talk about mentoring relationships. He started as a member of my "personal board of directors" and is now literally on the board at Hiking My Feelings.  

CARLOS BÉRRUZ @everyoneshike has coordinated some of the biggest group hikes in the SoCal area, bringing together an incredible community of folks who enjoy spending time on the trail. We're going to be chatting about the power of community organizing, and what is possible when you keep showing up.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. 

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization. You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give 

Our guests tonight are: 

ANASTASIA ALLISON Anastasia is the founder of Kula Cloth®, an intentionally-designed pee cloth for anyone who squats when they pee. You can learn more about Kula Cloth at kulacloth.com. Anastasia is also a violinist and performs sunrise summit serenades with The Musical Mountaineers. 

JENNA CELMER Jenna used to work at the US Olympic Committee as a scientific communicator, bridging the gap between scientists and folks in professional sports leagues like the MLB and NFL, working on anti-doping measures. She's now the VP of Digital Strategy for GearMunk, an app created to cultivate authentic outdoor gear reviews. 

GABACCIA Gabaccia is dedicated to #ExploringResponsibly and making the outdoors more inclusive. We chat a bit about her adventures in the outdoors, including the trail work she did at Glacier National Park last year in Montana.

You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://patreon.com/hikingmyfeelings and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give   

Our guests tonight are:   

JOSH KELLEY  We met Josh on tour in Washington DC and we were fast friends. He is a progressive political consultant, drag queen, and advocate for LGBTQIA+ survivors of sexual assault. We chat about using art therapy to work through the trauma from a sexual assault he survived and you can see the campaign at imagesmale.com/survivor  

CHRISTINE SMITH We met Christine on tour last year in Sacramento and hiked together in Reno, where we learned that she is a policy analyst for California's domestic violence coalition, the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence. We chat about her work at the coalition and what resources are available for survivors of domestic violence.    

ZION-I Zion-I is a conscious rap artist based in Oakland. Before the broadcast started, he went to the #BlackLivesMatter protests in San Francisco, so we catch up a bit about what the protest was like, and get an idea of where his head is at during this chapter of American history. One of the reasons I invited him to join us was because of our shared belief that lyrics matter, so we talk a bit about his music career, what inspires him as an artist, and then we go deeeep on how we can use this opportunity to build the world we want to live in. You can find him on Instagram: @zion_i_crew and on all streaming platforms.

Welcome to the Hiking My Feelings Virtual Campfire. This 20-day event is a fundraiser for the Hiking My Feelings Wilderness Wellness Center, the American Diabetes Association, and RAINN - the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. 

Each night from May 26-June 14, 2020 we are going live at 5pm PT to bring inspiration, hope, and healing to the community in these uncertain times. If you find value in what we're sharing here, please consider making a contribution to our non-profit organization. You can get tickets to the Virtual Campfire at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/campfire and you can make a one-time donation at https://hikingmyfeelings.org/give 

Our guests tonight are:    

JULIANNE MAHONEY   Our first guest is Julianne Mahoney from The Outdoor RD. In our campfire chat, she helps define diet culture, shares about what led her to working as a registered dietician, her goals for working with active women in the outdoor industry, and a bit about intuitive eating as well. You can find Julianne on Instagram @the_outdoor_rd or at theoutdoorrd.com   

JASON JOVES  We met Jason on Instagram while looking at photos from the #TransCatalinaTrail feed, and were able to connect in person at the beginning of 2019 during our tour stop in Huntington Beach. After the presentation, Jason's hand shot up in the air and he asked if he could share - as he had also had a transformative experience on the Trans-Catalina Trail. He shares a bit about what led him to the trail: losing his fiancée in a tragic car accident, losing his father to an aggressive battle with cancer, and the murder/suicide of his only employee at the small business he started. This is a powerful share of how hiking helped him process the emotions he had been burying under hobbies and work and school in the aftermath of so much loss. You can find Jason on Instagram @djdirte