Hishtory

The Legend: Part 2 by Allen Tatman

The Legend: Part 1 by Allen Tatman

A Drop of the Pure by Allen Tatman

Love, Sex, and Alcohol in the Ancient World by Allen Tatman

Chicago and Prohibition: Part 2 by Allen Tatman

Chicago and Prohibition: Part 1 by Allen Tatman

In the far northeast end of Ireland, from County Antrim, if you look out just 12 miles across the North Channel of the Irish Sea, you will see the Scottish headland known as the Mull of Kintyre. On a clear day the misty craggy cliffs of the Mull can be seen rising, almost beckoning one to cross the water. I know. I’ve been there. I’ve looked out across the channel and wanted cross over to Scotland, but, I have yet to go there.

I’m not the first to long for that crossing. Even before the channel was covered in water, there was a land bridge; archaeologists tell us that the first human beings, hunter-gatherers to arrive in Ireland crossed over on foot near the end of the last ice age, around 10,000 BCE. When the Celts arrived in Ireland in the 6th Century BCE, they called the original inhabitants the Fir Bolg, sometimes called the ‘Dark Men.’ It is believed that the Fir Bolg assimilated with the Celts, probably not of their own volition but through violence and subjugation, and their legends and culture were adopted and morphed into the Celtic mythology. According to legend, the Túatha Dé Danann, translated to ‘the people of the gods,’ came from the North, presumably crossing over from Scotland, and gave the Fir Bolg a home in Ireland. The connection between Ireland and Scotland from the beginning of history has, literally, been legendary.

What’s the biggest party you’ve ever been to? Not a music or cultural festival, but a party thrown by one person. I was thinking about this the other day. What else are you going to think about during the malaise of mid January in mid Missouri? We’ve all been to them, with hundreds maybe thousands of people. Our newly elected governor had his inaugural party last week. I didn’t go. We didn’t even open the pub. Firstly because it was on a Monday, and we’re normally closed on Mondays. It’s Jefferson City. If you live here, you understand. And the other reason we didn’t open is because all of the recently elected politicians invite all of their supporters up from Bugtussle or wherever to the capitol, and these people come into our city and act like they’re shit doesn’t stink because they are friends, paid friends, but still in their minds, friends with a state representative and that everybody in Jefferson City ought to kiss their ass, and because they’re from a place where they’ve never heard of craft beer they say something like, “don’t you got any normal beer on tap?” and “What do ya mean a draw of beer costs $4.50!”

Assholes and jerks.

I went to the Governors inaugural twice before, in 1992 and 2000. I had some connections back then. It was fun. A lot of big parties are fun. Some aren’t. Some you got to out of obligation, like your second cousin’s wedding even thought you haven’t seen her since you were both 8 years old, but your mother insist that you MUST go because the family has to make a good showing, don’t embarrass us, Your grandmother wants you there, she’s so proud of you, so get your ass in that truck and drive down here this weekend, I mean it, no excuses. It starts at 4:00 so make sure you are here and dressed and ready to go before then. I mean it Allen Wayne, 4:00 be there!

See that’s an obligation. But, there wasn’t a threat of death, unless it was a death by guilt. But, history has had parties where the threat of death did exist if you didn’t attend. Probably one of the biggest parties ever held that involved a death wish if you didn’t attend was thrown by King Ashurnasirpal II of the Assyrian Empire in 870 BCE to celebrate his greatness. And if you had been invited and didn’t attend, look out. You’d soon be getting a visit from Ashurnasirpall’s army, which was the greatest ever assembled to that time. And at this party, there was something served to the thousands who attended that had never been served on such a large scale before. It was what they called, The Excellent Beer of the Mountains, and the Drink of the Gods- it was wine.

I’m Allen Tatman, and because no good story ever began with, this one time we were eating a salad… This is Hishtory, the Story of Alcohol.

CORRECTION: at the 14 minute mark, I should have said "a pound of meal per person per day for an entire year." I misspoke and said "a pound of meal per person for an entire year." I apologize for this. I'll try to get better.

-Allen

Sugar, it seems, is in almost all of our foods. And not just sugar, but sweeteners in general, are added to so many of our processed foods. As an additive it enhances flavor and aroma, and it helps products retain moisture. And in this day and age sugar is relatively inexpensive. But many are surprised to learn that sugar and sweeteners as an everyday food additive are a relatively recent innovation, and prior to the European invasions of the Western Hemisphere, sugar was a very costly luxury item.

As Europeans established sugar plantations throughout their Caribbean and Latin America territories, sugar became more readily available for European markets. As the demand and consumption of cane sugar grew in the second half of the Second Millennia CE, the sugar processors were left with the byproduct molasses, and what can be made from molasses? Rum, and it would become the first distilled spirit to be sold around the globe.

It would be easy to think that sugar cane was indigenous to the New World, since that is where most of the world’s sugar is grown in the Caribbean islands and Latin America, but it isn’t. It first came from Southeast Asia, and then spread into India, and eventually into the Arab world. In India and China, a fermented sugar wine was made as early as the late first millennia BCE. Marco Polo during his travels through Asia in the 14th Century CE noted of a “very good wine of sugar” which he was served in Persia. Because of the rarity of sugar in Europe, Marco Polo would have been quite surprised by this sugar wine.