On this episode, Emily and Ellen delve into the life of Irene of Athens (755 CE-803 CE), the first and only female emperor of Byzantium/ Rome. This is a power hungry bitch who loves candles and hates her son, which we can all relate to these days! Plus, the girls weigh in on center parts vs mid parts and Ellen's sexy grandpa.

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As always, a huge thank you to our audio producer, Charlie Arnedt!  

Don't forget to follow the pod on Instagram and send us episode ideas at [email protected]

Haitus is over, hoes! On this episode, Ellen and Emily take a look at Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I A Woman?" speech. Not only is this speech, like, very good, but we also use it to inform our discussion about modern bimboism and 21st century feminism. Also in this episode: has Ellen dated a man with a flip phone, #heforshe but really #heforme, and why we don't care if our hookups have tampons under their sinks. Slurp it up, babes. 

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As always, a huge thank you to our audio producer, Charlie Arnedt!  

Don't forget to follow the pod on Instagram and send us episode ideas at [email protected]

Merry Slurpmas, babes! We are dumping some 400 year old tea into your stockings- today Emily and Ellen get into the 30 Years War. We know- war is the space of history, but we swear that this one is cool! It all starts when Rudolf II is too busy being depressed and learning about astrology to do his job- RELATABLE! And it only gets more psycho from there. Slurp up this 'nog and stay safe this holiday season! 

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As always, a huge thank you to our audio producer, Charlie Arnedt!  

Don't forget to follow the pod on Instagram and send us episode ideas at [email protected]

A huge week for the pod: Ellen has Covid, Emily is a notary public (officially!), and the 2000 election was a SCAM. Don't believe us? Listen up while we give you all the facts about Hanging Chads, pregnant ballots, children lost at sea, and that stupid little bitch, Roger Stone. We're getting political babes, and the tea is HOT. Slurp! It! Up! 

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As always, a huge thank you to our audio producer, Charlie Arnedt!  

Don't forget to follow the pod on Instagram and send us episode ideas at [email protected]

On this episode, incredible standup comedian Lily Lester joins Ellen and Emily for tea time and tells us all about Emma Goldman. Who's Emma Goldman? She's an anarchist. She's sexually deviant. She's banned in the United States. Basically, she is a 19th century Lithuanian Joan of Arc and you NEED to learn about her! Plus, you can hear our hit new single: "Live In a Cave," learn about how Ellen threatened suicide AND helped kids in Africa, and check out our newest sponsor, Inaudible! Slurp it up! 

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Check out Lily Lester on Twitter, Instagram, and her website!  

As always, a huge thank you to our audio producer Charlie Arnedt!

Slurpees, this is a very special episode. And not the kind where DJ Tanner gets an eating disorder and recovers in two days. On this episode of History Slurp Slurp, we have tea with journalist Susan Bennett. Susan's personal history is prime gossip fodder: she's met Margaret Thatcher and the Dalai Lama and she had to deal with the Unabomber's whiny ass. For real, Susan is whip-smart and cool as hell, so will you just slurp it up already?

Slurpees- we're all about keeping it #real on this podcast. Our originally planned episode had technical issues, so we did a quick episode on the history that Ellen and Emily know the best- the history of Dance Moms (reality show from 2011!) In this episode, we recount some of the most iconic moments of the show- "Get your finger out of my face," forgotten solos, and Abby's vegan rapper boyfriend. Slurp! It! Up!

On this episode, we meet Zenobia, the queen of Palmyra. She has had it with the Roman Empire and she goes off and makes her own country! She's hot and everybody loves her new country, Palmyra...or do they? Stay for the drama babes! Plus, Ellen gets to cancel her lifelong enemy (hint: he's on a reality show!)

Pirates, pirates, pirates! We can't get enough. So come dive on in and learn about Ching Shih, the most ruthless, bad bitch pirate of the 19th century. She's a #girlboss but kind of in a bad way? Slurpees, weigh in! Plus, she died when she was 69! Raunchy ep.

Holy Season 2, slurpees! Emily and Ellen are BACK and we're kicking off the new season by taking you back to the 1970's. Peace, love, and corporate negligence causing one of history's worst environmental disasters! Our sizzling take: you shouldn't be allowed to just dump poison wherever you want! Also, huge shoutout to the newest member of the Slurp team- our audio producer, Charlie Arnedt! Notice how this episode doesn't sound like it was recorded in a tin can? Thank a Charlie!