**This conversation includes references to violence, including experiences of a mass shooting, traumatic grief, and other details unsuitable for young children. This recording is prohibited from being copied or reproduced without permission.***

Losing a loved one to murder creates unique and complicated grief like no other. Vicki Roy is here to talk about her traumatic bereavement following Maine’s worst Mass Shooting that claimed the life of her brother Michael Deslauriers. She bravely shares how her grief unfolded amidst the public chaos, re-traumatization of the ongoing investigation, and the unexpected feelings of losing her only brother, to something else. We honor Mike, his family, and the many people affected by this tragedy who are now navigating their personal grief journeys.

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Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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There is something to be said about a mother’s intuition. Sandy Fisher knew something was wrong the day her 18-year-old son, Scott Junior, died by suicide. He had just entered college. Now, after 18 years of grieving his loss, and even an attempted suicide herself, she is courageously sharing her experience and knowledge. Her mission? To help students, parents, friends, and educators recognize the warning signs, ask the right questions, and seek help. 

Dial 988: Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Suicide prevention and educational resources shared in this podcast:

• Maine Suicide Prevention: NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): namimaine.org
• American Foundation of Suicide Prevention: afsp.org
• Suicide Prevention/Education in Maine Schools: namimaine.org/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention-in-schools

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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Navigating life after child loss is hard enough without the gender-based stereotype that men must somehow be strong and overcome their grief. After the devastating loss of his daughter Lila to stillbirth, Rob Reider has created a space to help nurture bereaved fathers, in a club just for men. It’s called the Sad Dads Club. A place to share  loss among others who can truly understand their journey. A voice for all grieving fathers.

SAD DADS CLUB helps fellow bereaved fathers navigate life after loss by nurturing a supportive community and providing access to mental health services.

For more information about the Sad Dads Club, visit https://saddadsclub.com/

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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When your child dies, it’s so hard to accept that every part of their existence is no longer possible. Mary Alexandra felt this deeply after her daughter Celina died, as life, inevitably, moves forward. This kind of grief, never goes away. But Mary shares how it IS possible to balance grief with her greatest joys. Like the wedding of her younger daughter and becoming a grandmother, all while keeping Celina’s memory alive. A message for all who are grieving. It’s okay to be sad, and happy.

Celina Marie Alexandre Scholarship Fund https://www.celinasscholarshipfund.org/

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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When faced with the possibility that her 34-year-old daughter Jessica might die from brain cancer, Julie Brown turned to her writing for solace, which, she says, has become part of her evolution. After Jessica’s passing, this caregiving and courageous mother is now inspired to write the next chapter of her life in hopes of helping others.

Resources mentioned in our podcast conversation:

Building A Life: A Mother's Healing Journey of Self-Discovery by Julie Brown available at Amazon and at local book stores

"Life with Julie Brown": www.lifewithjuliebrown.com

Caring Bridge: www.caringbridge.org
The Dempsey Center: https://www.dempseycenter.org/
Brain Injury Association of Maine: https://www.biausa.org/
National Brain Tumor Society: https://braintumor.org/

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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When a horrific car accident suddenly claimed the lives of her teenage son Casey, and her husband Gus, Susan Cloutier had to dig deep to want to keep living. She shares her story of losing half of her family in an instant, parenting her angry, and deeply grieving 11-year-old son, finding love again, even contemplating ending her life. Yet through it all, she learned how to lean heavily into her faith to move forward with love and purpose. 

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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While Debbie Reynolds would not, and should not, ever say she is childless, she is now navigating a life without her only two children, Michelle and Matthew.  How does a parent even begin to process the death of their young daughter, while helping an older son with sibling grief, and later, his own terminal illness?  The path of healing has been difficult, but also enlightening, as Debbie candidly tells the story of her family's unimaginable journey,  including what she has learned, how others can support bereaved parents, and how she is finding peace to continue her life, while always honoring her two children. 

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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Suicide without warning is more common than we might think. Which is why Annette McCoy will never stop asking herself, “how did I not know?” Sometimes, even after years of searching, the answers just aren’t there.  Instead of focusing on how her only child died, she is coming to terms with it, by sharing her story and her endless love for Evan.  Turning that grief, into so beautifully honoring her child.     

Noted in this podcast is the project “Evans Rocks Around the World.” To learn more, follow their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1242366296116297

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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Every day Dawn carries her heavy grief, alongside endless love for her son Krys, but she never carries the guilt or responsibility that often plague parents of child loss to suicide. In this podcast, this brave Mom candidly shares how the demons and drugs were bigger and stronger than her 30-year-old son.  Her peace comes in knowing he is safe, in loving the son he left behind, and helping others through life’s greatest loss.  Colby and I are honored to Hold the Light with Dawn Prime Watson.   

*Important Show Note: This interview was recorded in June, 2023. The Sibling to Sibling organization created for siblings of suicide loss that Dawn discusses in this podcast, has since been dissolved. 

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

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In a very special interview, Colby and I had the complete joy and honor of talking with Cidny Bullens, a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, who is known for being a backup vocalist for Elton John, singing lead vocals on the Grease soundtrack, and has nine critically-acclaimed solo albums. Cid humbly shares how the deep grief of child loss transformed his life, in more ways than one—including influencing his decision to publicly come out as a transgender man, and the creation of an album in his daughter’s memory, that he says, is now his legacy. You won’t want to miss this conversation, or his amazing podcast performance of our theme song, As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings).

We were interviewed by WGME Fox Maine News reporter Adrienne Stein about our podcast “Holding the Light.” Watch for the airing soon!

Cid’s new memoir: TransElectric, My Life as a Cosmic Rockstar is available for purchase on Amazon and at local bookstores.

Visit the Cidney Bullens Website: cidnybullens.com for upcoming book readings and performances!

Cidny’s Podcast: Cracking the Sky. A Conversation with Creatives is available wherever you listen to podcasts. 

What did you think? Share your feedback in a text message.

Holding the Light is an original, monthly podcast created and hosted by Monica and Colby Charette, edited and produced by Monica Charette, with support from Julia Vigue and Sophia Speeckaert. EMAIL US ([email protected]) with questions, comments, or a request to join us as a guest. We also welcome you to visit us at ShineOnCass (www.shineoncass.org) where our family continues to Shine the Light of Cassidy.

Our podcast’s theme music is As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings) written and sung by Cindy Bullens, from the album Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth produced by Blue Lobster Records (1999). Available on CD or download at www.cidnybullens.com. Mention Holding the Light Podcast and receive a signed copy!

We want to hear from YOU. Leave us a voicemail! If there is something you’ve learned in your grief journey that might be helpful for others, we invite you to leave us a message. We will listen to every one. Some might even be used in a future episode. You can also let us know what you think of our podcast, suggest a topic, or request to be a guest. The number to call and leave us a voicemail is: 617-302-7373. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Love what you heard?

• leave us...